REVIEW: Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old by Steven Petrow
Soon after his 50th birthday, Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of do’s and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical.
The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers alike—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way…
In Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.’”
Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding.
Dear Mr. Petrow,
I’ve read – and tried to read – books that discussed various ages of life. Some worked for me and others I didn’t make it past chapter two. This book struck a chord with me but that’s probably because it is aimed at my age group – the younger Boomers. Honestly I think people in their 50s and 60s would take to it best as we are still at the point where we can make different choices and try to avoid some of the things that our parents did and that we get labeled as doing ourselves. I would warn readers that a lot of these subjects are not and aren’t meant to be funny.
In a series of short chapters, traits and habits of our parents and grandparents are discussed – often in terms of how they affect us. Some of these are good things and others are what gives the book its title. The topics range from amusing to sad. Life lessons that you’ve learned from watching your own parents are incorporated. It’s probably the realization that I have fewer years ahead of me than I have behind that is driving me to seek out books such as these but this is another one that will hopefully nip at me to get my life in order so that I can enjoy what remains to the fullest. B
~Jayne
AmazonBNKoboBook DepositoryGoogle
My friends and I will often remark, especially when interacting with aging parents, “Let’s remember this when we are their age, let’s remember what not to do, let’s remember the lesson.” Well, we can only hope. Thanks for the review.
This sounds like the Adulting commercials from Progressive. I constantly remind myself that nobody cares that I got up early.
@Darlynne: Yes, that’s what I thought and sadly I’ve already found myself doing a few of these things. Time to stop before it gets to be a habit!
@Jenreads: LOL true. One thing Petrow harps about is early bird specials. Well, who the hell cares of you go at 5:30 if that’s when you want to go. Driving past when you should surrender your license is another thing but eating …? Yeah, I don’t care.
Regardless of age, my advice to everyone is make sure you have an updated will and that you have the beneficiaries you want on your insurance policy, 401k, and any other financial vehicles. You should also have a living will on file and someone who knows your end-of-life decisions. Make sure a trustworthy family member or friend knows where you keep your important papers. Other than that, who cares if you eat dinner at 5:00?
I have to read this. My joke for years is that I have a wall of sticky notes in the back of my mind for things I will not do when I am “old.” I worked in a research library with many older patrons who were lovely folks, but some clearly had lost some of their sense of smell and bathed when they thought they needed it. One of my sticky notes is “Bathe every day whether I think I need to or not.”
My grandma wouldn’t leave her impractical home when she got older, and eventually when she had dementia and couldn’t cope, my mum and dad had to move her to come live with us, which she found difficult. Consequently one of their mantras drummed into us as children was that you need to make the move early, before it’s forced upon you.
Thing is, no matter how hard you believe it, the ideal moment passes by, and then you’re the old person not leaving your impractical home.
I’m not sure I believe you can decide how you’ll think when you’re older. (Habits, on the other hand – ingrained habits are great. I’m working on developing those.)
@M McA: My father-in-law and stepmom-in-law moved to a retirement community early and got to enjoy the benefits of that as many of the elderly don’t.
A big motivator was that my stepmom-in-law has a pacemaker and since the retirement community was just being opened and the community had assisted living units in addition to the independent living units, they were offered a good deal and it turned out that it was more affordable for them than long-term care insurance would have been. But they loved/love (my FIL has now passed) it there.
My father-in-law’s parents had done something similar and my father-in-law and stepmom-in-law said that living free of worries about his parents was the best gift his parents could have given him, worth more than an inheritance. I don’t disagree.