REVIEW: Craving Flight by Tamsen Parker
Dear Tamsen Parker,
One of my friends put me onto this book and I’m so glad she did. While the characters are white, financially secure and live in New York, they are like no other characters I’ve read before. The story is different, vibrant and respectful of the Orthodox Jewish culture and also deeply sexy. As the old song says, no-one knows what goes on behind closed doors.
Tzipporah is a 37 year old professor of religious studies. She was born a Jew but her family are not observant with Jewish ancestry but her parents do not identify as Jewish. As she has grown older, she has felt more and more connection to her Jewish roots and a deep need to express her faith. Over the course of some years, she changed her life. She changed her name (from Zoe), the way she dresses, the way she eats (she keeps kosher but is a little scatterbrained and therefore makes mistakes with this, which mortify her, from time to time) and covers her hair* with tichels, colourful scarves some married Orthodox Jewish used to meet dress/modesty requirements (others use sheitels/wigs). She studied at a seminary during a sabbatical year from teaching and has moved into a neighbourhood with a large Orthodox Jewish community so that she could live what she feels to be a more authentic life. (*As an unmarried woman, it is not necessary for Tzipporah to so cover her hair, this is a thing she has kept doing out of preference and it is explained in the book.)
When the novella begins, Tzipporah is about to marry Elan, the widowed operator of the Klein family’s kosher butchery. He is a big broad man, very much the strong silent type. Tzipporah had previously been married to Brooks, a fellow professor and the epitome of a WASP. With Tzipporah’s increasing interest in Judaism, combined with her desire to be dominated in bed, her marriage broke down and Brooks cheated on her. (He may have had reason to leave the marriage, but he didn’t have to cheat, right?). She has been divorced for about five years and now wants to experience intimacy and marriage again. She has no significant hopes she will find a Dom as well as a husband but at least with Elan, she believes she will have no trouble imagining him in the role (she plans to fantasize as a way to fulfill her kinky side) – he certainly has the build and charisma she desires in a Dom.
Orthodox Jews do not spend time alone together before they are married and there is no sex prior to marriage either. So Tzipporah has to hope that she and Elan will be sexually compatible. The ban on premarital sex is not unique to Orthodox Jews of course, but without so much as even a kiss prior to the wedding night, it is serendipity (or genre romance) rather than good planning which results in Elan being the Dom of her dreams.
Tzipporah and Elan have had only four dates and various social/community outings in the brief period of their courtship. Before they were married, they did talk about important things like whether they both wanted children and how strict their religious observances would be, but sex was not really up for discussion. When they are married therefore, it feels something like a marriage of convenience setup because the couple are really only just getting to know one another. It creates a delicious tension because they have been thrown together (by the story) and they connect on a sexual level but when it comes to just about everything else, being married is a struggle.
Tzipporah feels alien in most places these days. She doesn’t obviously fit with non-Orthodox Jews because of her attire (among other things) and yet, she doesn’t feel she truly fits with the Orthodox Jewish community either – she hasn’t been this observant for her entire life and she struggles with keeping kosher and various other observances. Those who have grown up within this culture have no such (apparent) problems. Tzipporah longs to ‘fit’ with Elan. But he is so silent and gruff she doesn’t really know what he’s thinking. With parental disapproval from both sides, Tzipporah becomes increasingly stressed and it is only in the bedroom where Elan, via bondage, domination and impact/pain play, makes her feel secure. Elan calls her his “little bird” and sets her free via their D/s play, to fly. In the bedroom, she does feel his affection and a sense of belonging.
The sex scenes are elaborate and erotic, even while the BDSM setup is a little different to what I’m used to in other erotic fiction. There are no safewords for example. But Elan and Tzipporah agree on rules of behaviour and Elan respects her boundaries even while pushing at the edges of them. To Tzipporah’s delight, Elan is particularly good with rope.
The sex scenes serve to demonstrate a connection between the pair, even when the rest of their lives seem disconnected. Sex becomes something of a bridge between them but even so, both Tzipporah and Elan have to learn to communicate more openly about what they are thinking and feeling before they get their HEA.
I loved it. The writing is crisp and clean, and the imagery evocative without being overdone.The story also suited the first person present tense very well. The D/s play was sexy and sensual and there was something unbearably erotic about how no-one outside their relationship would ever guess the kinky stuff which goes on in Elan’s and Tzipporah’s bedroom. But what fascinated me the most was the different culture. I had basically no idea how Orthodox Jews live and, while I’m sure this novella is in no way (intended or otherwise) a primer on (Orthodox) Judaism, the explanations and descriptions felt accessible and respectful.
It was very clever to make Tzipporah a professor of religious studies; this gives her the opportunity to organically explore some of the similarities between various religions and religious rules and observances, such as dietary and dress restrictions. Because she felt like an outsider (in some ways) in both camps, she was able to explain what it felt like for non-Jews to point and stare at her. And, because she was relatively new to the Orthodox Jewish community, she had good reason to still be learning about how to go on, which helped make the story accessible to a wide audience (or, you know; me), without her being totally clueless and running the risk of being seen as a caricature.
There is a glossary at the back (which, because it is at the back, I only found once I’d finished the book and had already looked up most of the things I didn’t know online – a limitation of ebooks I think) which gives a basic overview of the terminology. I was happy to look things up as I was reading. I didn’t find it to be too much of an interruption at all and the (limited I’m sure) understanding of what I did look up helped to orient me in the story better and gave me a richer reading experience.
In terms of limitations, I would have liked a little more of Elan and Tzipporah talking to one another and I’d have liked to have seen, on page, Elan standing for Tzipporah against his family rather than just the promise of it. I was also really curious about how Elan had learned so much about shibari and flogging etc – there was something of an explanation in the story but I was still curious for more. However, it is a novella and, while the story felt dense and rich to me, I’m never going to know everything there is to know in so short a work.
Craving Flight a is part of the Goodreads BDSM group’s Bring Out Your Kink project, similar to the MM Romance Group’s Love is an Open Road event I talked about here. The prompt was quite detailed but the story is all your own. Well done.
Yay for unusual and diverse romance. More please. A-.
Regards,
Kaetrin
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I absofreakinglutely loved this novella! Great review.
Glad I snagged this when it was free last week! Looking forward to reading it.
You may be interested to know that this is free on Amazon UK kindle at the moment. Something to look forward to once I have finished this big project for work!
I loved this book for all the reasons you stated above. I hope everyone reads it and then writes/buys/reads/raves about a floppity jillion more diverse romances.
I really liked the book, especially the portrayal of the Orthodox world and the tension between more secular Jews and more religious Jews. The conflict between Tzipporah and her family read especially true.
However, I also felt like there was a significant gap in information about Elan: how did he become involved in BDSM, was this part of his previous relationship, and how did the powers that be “know” to introduce the idea of marriage between those two particular people. I also would have liked to learn more about the conflict between Elan and his family, because that was only sketched in a little.
Got this one free when I saw it last week in the Daily Deals and read it this weekend. I really enjoyed it for the same reasons outlined here. Would definitely like to see more by this author.
I find it hard to believe that kosher rules would be so hard for Zipporah to figure out, since she’s Jewish to begin with and doesn’t convert from another religion. I know them pretty well and I’ve been secular all my life. If it’s a matter of remembering to use two sinks differently or something, I could believe it, but if she eats something she’s not supposed to or serves it to another Orthodox Jewish person — no sorry, I don’t buy that.
Covering her hair before she’s married seems weird to me. I’ve always understood that married Orthodox Jewish women cover their hair in order to modestly save their hair for their husband. It’s considered a private thing only the husband can see. If she doesn’t have a husband, what would be the point?
I gave this 2 stars out of Goodreads’ 5 star system. The BDSM was so far-fetched, so unbelievable in the small bit of context provided, it ruined the novella for me. Yes, I know that incorporating “kink” was part of the challenge, and brava to Ms. Parker for attempting to make it work, but it was a fail for me.
It was almost like she wrote one story (a story I want to read more of, BTW) and then went back and dumped in some BDSM scenes from a different book.
But… as I posted on GR:
“If she would rip out all the silly sex and recraft this book into a story about two Orthodox Jewish adults (late 30s), one frum (but a bit open-minded and rebellious, i.e. Elan) all of his life, the other newly “converted”, getting married, being intimate (but in a believable way!) and learning to find a love that “meets in the middle”, I would totally read that.”
BTW, I’m glad it was free, or I would not have read it and discovered this author. I liked her contemporary writing style and plan to look at some of her other works.
I thought Elan’s sexual desires fit hers so closely – it was a little too easy. I would have liked to see them struggle a little more since they had never discussed sex before their marriage night.
But otherwise I loved it. I LOVED the heroine. I could read pages and pages about her.
I really liked this story, and for me your review is spot on. I almost passed on it as I’m not a huge fan of BDSM, but the story still worked for me. I agree with STL Viewer the story, with a little work, would work without the kink–in fact I reread it skimming the sex scenes and still loved it, particularly the last scene in the lecture hall.
Thank you, Jane,,for including it as a daily deal, otherwise I wouldn’t have found it.
@ms bookjunkie: thx :)
@Sarah: Because it’s part of the Goodreads BDSM group event, I *think* it will always be free. It’s an excellent introduction to her writing. I totally plan to buy her duology Personal Geography and Intimate Geography now.
@Emma Barry: Yes!
@susan: I noted that too. I think that was one of the limitations of the short format and the first person POV.
@sula: Me too.
I was really happy to see a BDSM featuring a Jewish couple and the fact that they were Orthodox made it all the more interesting. I agree that it was a bit too pat that Tzipporah and Elan were so sexually compatible, from what I’ve read of the Orthodox community, few Rabbis would encourage sexual variety such as this, but I guess you hae to suspend a little disbelief with all fiction. All in all, I was just so pleased to come across a book like this.
@Janine: The mistake she is “famous” in the community for was shortly after she started keeping kosher and it involved accidentally using non-kosher chilli on a brisket. She didn’t eat it but went back to the butcher (Elan) for more, admitting her mistake. After that, it’s things like accidentally grabbing the milk ladle to stir a meat dish. She’s a bit scatterbrained so I felt it fit her character. It was also something she worried about because of the “brisket incident” but it didn’t actually happen often. The community looked upon her a bit dubiously and kind of expected to her to mess up (after the “brisket incident”) but the reality was not as disastrous as they feared.
As to covering her hair – she started doing it when she was married to Brooks. After their divorce, she made a personal decision to keep her hair covered. Her rabbi’s wife does point out to her that she doesn’t have to keep her hair covered and that people in the community are kind of looking at her strangely because hair covering is for married women and she’s no longer married and Tzipporah then explains her reasons to Bina. I thought it made sense. It was definitely never presented as the norm for Orthodox Jews – it was another way for her to be different to everyone – the community she lives in now and the community she used to live in. If you want to know her reasons, you’ll have to download the book! :D
@STL Viewer: There was an element of the “magic Dom” who can spot a sub at 500 paces but I liked the BDSM elements myself.
@Mandi: Yes, agree.
@Tara Marie: I think it would have needed work to just take the BDSM elements out. It is from there she derives the little confidence she has that the marriage can work and that Elan thinks well of her. To take out the BDSM, with the associated trust and sympatico, she’d have to add something else in to take its place. JMO.
@Sandypo: Definitely some suspension of disbelief required. I mean, what are the chances that they would be *so* sexually compatible. And how Elan learned about it all remained something of a mystery (and I’m still curious about it). But, like you, I was just so happy to read it, I let it pass.
Thanks for the heads up on this. BDSM is not at all my thing, but the whole NYC Orthdox Jewish aspect is so different, I have to read this.
@Patricia Burroughs [aka pooks]: Hope you enjoy!
@Kaetrin: I downloaded it after reading your comment because I’m curious, and I’ll try to reserve judgement but as others have said, BDSM in an Orthodox Jewish marriage is a reach in the first place.
Also, just to clarify, you don’t have to be Orthodox to keep kosher, a lot of Jews who aren’t still do so, though not always to the same degree. If Tzipporah had converted from a different religion, it would be easier to buy her mistakes but if she was Jewish to begin with, she would very likely have come into contact with other Jews who keep kosher long before her conversion. Even if her own family did not do so, her mother and later Tzipporah herself would have had to cook for friends who do, and she would likely have learned the importance of reading labels at a young age.
@Janine: Hi Janine. Tzipporah’s parents never kept kosher and have no contact with the Jewish community, save through Tzipporah. They think kosher is weird and silly and that Tzipporah is in a “cult”. So Tzipporah’s religious journey is very much her own. I understand that it’s not just Orthodox Jews who keep kosher but Tzipporah’s parents don’t identify as Jewish at all. Her mother certainly never cooked for friends who kept kosher.
I’m curious as to why you think BDSM in an Orthodox Jewish marriage is a reach. What struck me particularly about this book was that Elan’s and Tzipporah’s sexual relationship was very much their own and totally private. No-one apart from them would ever know the details of their sex life. I was curious (and there was not enough information provided to satisfy my curiosity) as to how Elan had learned his various skills – I don’t think YouTube (which wasn’t mentioned, I’m being flip) is enough and it seems unlike him to go to some kind of lessons and certainly not a sex club – so maybe that’s where the reach is?
But as to having kinky sex of *some* kind – it seems to me (albeit as a non-Jew so what do I know really?) that it *could* happen in an Orthodox Jewish marriage; it’s just that it would not be something talked about publicly.
@Kaetrin: I figured her parents didn’t keep kosher because certainly if they had her character would be completely implausible. But I’m stumbling over the “don’t identify as Jewish” because a Jewish identity goes far beyond keeping kosher or not. It’s not just a religion but also an ethnicity, so for them not to identify as Jewish strikes me as odd.
I’ve never kept kosher and nor have my parents (or even my grandparents during my lifetime) but my mom and I have certainly had to cook for people who do. Most of those people were NOT Orthodox. There’s a spectrum of religious observance but even being atheist (like my mom) doesn’t preclude one from knowing and understanding kosher laws.
Mind you, those of us who don’t keep them may think they are a big pain in the butt, and not for us, but there’s a difference between that and saying they are “weird and silly” to someone who practices. That would be kind of like a lapsed Catholic saying to a Catholic that taking communion is weird and silly. Even if one doesn’t believe in it personally, one generally tries to respect other people’s beliefs. So Tzipporah’s parents sound really insensitive.
On the BDSM thing — you put your finger on exactly why. I don’t think Elan (not a name I’m familiar with BTW; either it’s a misspelling of Ilan or Elon or an uncommon variation) would have the opportunity to learn if he’s observant. The main way I can think of for someone from that background to pick it up is from a sex worker, and seeing one is not something the religion approves of at all (quite the contrary) but it still sometimes happens.
@Janine: It’s been a few books since I read this one but my really vague recollection is that her grandparents (?) left Europe during/before the war and when they did so, they converted to Christianity. One of her parents is not ethnically Jewish at all and the other was raised as a Christian (but non-observant from what I can tell/what I remember). So Tzipporah’s mother doesn’t think of herself as Jewish and has no connection to Judaism or regards herself as having no connection to Judaism. Tzipporah became interested when she was learning about her family. I’d have to read the book again to get it right though. But, FWIW, it made sense to me that Tzipporah’s parents did not identify as Jewish. And yes, they are *really* insensitive. It’s a thing which distresses Tzipporah a lot.
Janine: You said “On the BDSM thing … I don’t think Elan … would have the opportunity to learn if he’s observant.”
It isn’t even just some sort of vague BDSM. Nope–Elan is familiar with floggers, candle wax, and what appeared to me to be some sort of Shibari (rope bondage). I simply could not dream up any context where I could see him acquiring this knowledge and these items, given the bit we know about Elan. (Yeshiva bocher turned local butcher, pretty pious most of his life.) Also, he seems to have no moral conflict about inflicting pain on his wife (even on their first night together, btw), but he’s unwilling to let his wife’s mouth near his d***? Really? The rabbis are okay with the former but not the latter? Who knew?
As I say, toss out most or all of the BDSM–unless there’s some semi-believable way to incorporate a little–and rebuild a full-length novel that focuses on the back stories as well as on how the actual marriage is different from the imagined marriage, and how the couple finally are able to find their way to a meeting of the minds/hearts.
I do like the idea of him being secretly a little rebellious–slightly stifled by the emphasis on Torah study over some other things–and her wanting to be observant but not quite prepared for the reality of things like “stringing beads on a bracelet on Sabbath as long as you don’t actually tie the knot and finish it”. That would be an interesting book (and not one that Naomi Ragen has tackled yet, I think).
@Kaetrin: If her grandparents converted to Christianity then Tzipporah’s ignorance of kosher laws makes a lot more sense. But then if her grandparents converted to Christianity, wouldn’t Tzipporah have to undergo a formal conversion to Judaism? I’m not 100% certain about this but I think so.
@STL Viewer: Yeah, it’s hard to know where Elan would learn all that.
Do you read a lot of Naomi Ragen? I’ve only read two, and of these I only liked Jephte’s Daughter (every once in a while, when people ask for non-Christian inspies, I think I should reread it and review it for DA since it’s the closest thing to one I’ve come across.) If you have enjoyed other Ragen books, I’d love to hear about them.
Janine – I read Naomi Ragen some years ago–I think Jephte’s Daughter and Sotah. I’m embarrassed to admit I don’t remember much about either of them, although as a Reform Jew, I remember thinking they were very interesting. I think on some of her later works, I read the blurbs describing the premise, and they just didn’t appeal to me. My mother read The Sisters Weiss and thought it was good, but based on how she described it, it would not be for me. In general, I prefer romance fiction to women’s fiction (religious or otherwise).
@STL Viewer: Thanks. I prefer romance to women’s fiction too, and that’s part of what has held me back from Ragen’s later books. Jephte’s Daughter isn’t a romance but it has a romance in it.
@STL Viewer: Have either of you– @janine or @stil Viewer… read The Ladies Auxiliary? I fell in love with that book years ago, about a group of Orthodox women–well the entire community–in Memphis, Tennessee, and what happens when one of their sons’ beautiful blonde ‘newly Jewish’ widow shows up, intent upon embracing the Orthodox life.
@Janine: She does. Tzipporah actually took a sabbatical year from teaching and spent it studying in Seminary.
@STL Viewer: It wasn’t that Elan didn’t want oral sex. He just didn’t want it then because he didn’t want to “waste his seed” and he thought if she put her mouth on him, he would go off like a rocket. My inference was that at a future time when he was more sure of his control, it would be welcome.
It take your point about the sophisticated BDSM though – I’m really not sure where/how he could have learned these things so well. I don’t think inflicting pain on his wife on their wedding night was a problem because it was pain his wife wanted and derived pleasure from and therefore, he was actually giving her pleasure. But maybe there is something I’m missing here because I’m not Jewish?
@Patricia Burroughs [aka pooks]: No I haven’t read it.
@Kaetrin: Ah I see. I was confused by your description in the plot summary where you say that Tzipporah was born Jewish. It sounds like she was born Christian but with some Jewish ancestry and she later converted to Judaism, in which case, her difficulties with keeping kosher seem more plausible.
@Janine: Sorry, my bad. Should I edit it? ETA: I have edited the review now.
@Kaetrin: No apology needed. I think it would have been okay to edit or leave unedited, given the comments discussion, but it is clearer now. Thank you!
Kaetrin: I guess you could be right about Elan’s reason for not wanting his wife to service him orally. (Though we also have no reason to believe that he thinks it’s okay to do as long as he doesn’t “spill his seed”. ) OTOH, he’s supposed to do whatever brings her pleasure, right? Hmmm….
Patricia Burroughs: I never read The Ladies Auxilliary. So I just went to look at a summary and some comments and I’m pretty sure this book would annoy me on several levels. Maybe not if I had read it when it first came out 15 years ago, but today, yeah, I think I’d have to pass.
@STL Viewer: Here’s the text.
I guess you could take it either way.
Wow, Kaetrin, I stand corrected. :-) I simply did not remember it reading that way.
@STL Viewer: Perhaps I was reading in that he thought he would at some point have such control? :P