REVIEW: While It Was Snowing by Elyssa Patrick
Felicity Evans and Harry Walsh have been best friends forever, but lately, Felicity has noticed the looks Harry has been giving her. And she’s going to do something about it. Sex solves everything, or so she hopes. But she never knew Harry was a virgin—until now. Being snowbound in a Vermont cabin is the perfect opportunity to take things to the next level . . . and perhaps dare to lay her heart out on the line.
Dear Ms. Patrick,
I will admit I was seduced into reading this novella by the description of a shy, bow-tied hero who gets pursued by a heroine with a purpose – to get him naked and in bed. That whip cream was involved added to the appeal. The story started well, kept me interested and involved yet after I was done, I realized I felt it was missing something.
I loved the opening. Felicity is a doll and ready to go for what she wants, let it all hang out and get whip creamed up. I admire her determination and courage. I loved Harry in a bow tie and how flustered he got when he saw what Felicity was willing to do to get him.
The role switching was a nice change. Felicity feels need to romance Harry and gently lead him on – once she realized that the in your face, brazen approach wouldn’t work with him. Harry is the shy one who is unsure of himself and his attractiveness to her.
Harry’s contract is a hoot. All 16 single spaced legal pad sized pages of it. And Harry reads romance and better yet he realizes that most “legal” stuff in romances is nonsense. I gotta love a hero who says that he doesn’t just love his heroine he “breathes for” her. He’s like Rudolph (the Red Nosed Reindeer) when Clarice says she thinks he’s cute.
But then things slow down. Initially that’s okay for me as these two acknowledge that they’re moving too fast. Now things are getting real. Messy. They are two different personality types clashing in this new type of relationship because wow, Harry’s got some real self esteem issues. He’s the type to edge up to the end of the diving board and look over, turn pale and scramble backwards to safety. Felicity is the type to charge forward and scream “Cowabunga!” Harry’s thinking too much and screwing things up – as men do.
He is a – well he’s supposed to be a beta but in reality he’s beyond a beta. He’s a wimp. At first this was charming. He’s shy, he’s uncertain, he can’t believe that this woman he’s worshiped from afar could ever possibly have any feelings for him but friendship. Aw, how sweet. Until, that is, he can’t move past this. For almost the whole story. Really, it got old. I wanted to yell at him to just try to grow a pair. He didn’t even actually have to grow them, just try.
The time spent after Harry’s f-up – 33 1/2 hours – allows for contemplation. For thoughtful thinking about relationships, each other, life without each other, friendship, risks and risks of doing nothing, truths and being willing to open up your dreams to another person, to take the chance with something that is dear and precious to you. It also slowed the novella down too much for me. I wanted romance and wasn’t getting much of it.
Then the “spider in the shower” scene livened up the party again. Even having had this happen to me, I laughed then snorted hysterically when Harry “Nicholas Sparked” it to death.
Finally they’re ready to take a chance to see what happens. Each is making the other grow, be better, dream bigger, hope for more. They know they might fail but the risk is worth it. Then, just when they are at last on the same page then WHOOOSH – the story zips to the epilogue which is basically 30+ years later and I’m thinking “Wait a minute. Where did the consummation scene go? I wants it.” Now usually I can take or leave the sexy times scenes but here, I got my expectations built up to get —- nothing. There was so much I liked but after thinking about it for 2 days, I couldn’t help but feel short changed. B-
~Jayne
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That’s exactly what I felt – she showed the gun in Act I and never fired it! I don’t need a ton of romantic scenes, but I needed that one. Fail.
I agree – the story NEEDED the consummation scene. It was all set up for Harry to be fantastic given the kissing scenes, but it never finished. I liked the author’s writing voice, but this one needed a bit more work.
Another vote in agreement here- I kind of can’t imagine what the author was thinking in doing it this way, and I have a hard time believing that any kind of critique partners or beta readers didn’t say “whoa there, where’s the rest of it?? This is not a complete story!”
When I finished this story, I just felt frustrated.
@Jewel: Agreed on the author’s voice but I’d need some reassurance that I wouldn’t feel cheated before trying another of her books.
@Lozza: Yes, I mean when I looked at the page count on my ereader, I knew it was going to be a shorter story but for (guestimating here) 10 of those few pages to be an excerpt for another book really had me blinking in disbelief.
@Ellie: LOL, good analogy. We know the gun got fired at least three times in their marriage but we never heard or saw it.
I know this is frowned upon but I just wanted to say….you’re completely right. I should have included a sex scene. My beta readers did recommend adding a sex scene and not making Harry so Harry, but I just didn’t listen to them. Bad author is bad. At one point, when I put this on sale (after it had been in the duology), I thought about rewriting it to include the sex scene but at that point, I had moved past the book and just didn’t want to get back into the Harry/Felicity world.
It’s been my only book where I haven’t written a sex scene, and to be honest, this book was incredibly hard to write (I was writing during and right after my grandfather had died, which doesn’t excuse it at all). And admittedly, I’m still learning how to write novellas and figure out pacing, which again doesn’t excuse anything.
But anyway, I completely apologize for the fuck up and the reader disappointment. I can only try to do better in my next book and hope some will give my books a second chance. But honestly, thank you for the review and constructive criticism. I’m taking what is being said and will, hopefully, improve.
I kind of liked that it ended without a sex scene. Made it a kinder- gentler- Christmas story without all the muss and fuss.
Another reader that was disappointed in the end.
OK, now I really want to read this book. I skip sex scenes most of the time these days when I’m reading, so I’m curious to see if I feel shortchanged.
Great review, Jayne.
I completely agree with the other readers here.
I generally skip sex scenes, too, so I am good on that point. I enjoyed the writing. I enjoyed the humor. But I really think there was enough there for a full book and that’s what I wished for, a whole book.
I really enjoyed the excerpt at the end and will probably buy it soon. One of the few ending excerpts I have actually read. Usually they just make me mad.
I think I will try this one too. Thanks Jayne.
And it is free. Definitely trying.
Do you know why I just might pick this up and read it, missing consummation and all? (which would be a no given the review). Because @Elyssa Patrick just displayed an amazing amount of class.
Kifah
See, I disagree. I so strongly dislike when authors butt into reviews that she just went on my “never buy” list.
I disagree. I so strongly dislike it when authors comment on reviews that this one just made my “never buy” list.
Sorry, double post. I thought DA didn’t like the word “butt”.
I read this when it was part of the duology and really liked it. I’m a fan of beta heroes and plus size heroines so it worked very well for me. The humor was well done and I laughed out loud at a few different parts.
I’ve read the author’s other books and in particular her NA is one of my favorites, and definitely has the sex scenes in them. I would recommend them pretty highly.
My thoughts exactly – it either needed to be a whole book, or it needed a clearer button for the story to feel complete. I liked the voice, though, so I’d try again with another story
I don’t need every story to have a sex scene, but I think because sex was set up as such a big party of the story, the arc had a huge missing link when it failed to deliver any kind of indication that these two are sexually compatible. Sex is a huge part of this story- how Harry hasn’t had it, how Felicity is comfortable with it… and the catalyst for the action isn’t Felicity’s declaration of love, it’s Felicity’s planned seduction. I think the author could have used the same characters and essentially the same conflict (different personality styles, Felicity wants to jump right in, Harry’s worried it’ll ruin the friendship) in a story based around a declaration of romantic interest and with no emphasis (or even specification of) either character’s sexual history, and THAT story would have been fine with the same ending that this story had.
@Elyssa Patrick: Writing really is difficult when we’re griefstricken. [[hugs]]