REVIEW: Miss Lockharte’s Letters by Barbara Metzger
When Rosellen Lockharte, penmanship teacher at a girls school, believes she is dying from influenza, she feverishly pens letters to those who have, through various misdeeds, brought her to this pass. And to forgive them. Well, most of them. Let Lord Stanford bear the responsibility for her death always. Except that he arrives in time to rescue her. Regency Romance by Barbara Metzger; originally published by Signet
Dear Ms. Metzger,
I read this book years ago and decided to pull it out for a reread. A friend of mine once said she found “Miss Lockharte’s Letters” more serious than other Metzger books but it really didn’t seem so to me. I’ve always found an underlying seriousness in your books though you usually deal with it in a more funny manner than other authors. If that makes any sense.
I loved the premise of the book. That someone lets it all loose and holds nothing back. I mean, haven’t you ever wanted to tell some slacker what you really thought of them. Well, Miss Lockharte does. She thinks she’s at death’s door and can see the dead relatives beckoning to her so she gathers all her strength and writes a series of letters (which serve as a form of exposition) to those she felt wronged her and put her in the position of being in a lousy girl’s school where she could catch this (she thought) fatal illness. She has them all sent out to the post and then…she doesn’t die.
Meanwhile, all the letters are being received and having a dramatic impact on the addressees. One of whom is the brother of a former student of Miss Lockharte. He basically gets guilted into going after her at the school and finds on his arrival that she looks like hell and is raving about someone trying to kill her. As a gentleman, he can’t leave her there and decides to bring her back to London and try to find some poor schmuck to unload her on. As it turns out someone is trying to kill her and it all ends in your typical zany style.
The first time though, I loved the hero, a typical stuffed shirt who has no idea what he’s in for. The secondary characters, including two red headed twin disasters, are great fun. The heroine was a bit of a problem in that I felt she went a little overboard trying to maintain her independence. There are the usual animals causing havoc and servants saving their masters.
This time my thoughts are slightly different. I still loved the zingers that Wynn, Viscount Stanford and Rosellen Lockharte hurl at each other. The humor had me in stitches as Rosellen ducks and dodges the attempts on her life leaving a trail of havoc (which really isn’t her fault) in her wake. The friendship between Rosellen and Susan (the hero’s sister and the person who [along with Rosellen’s letters] guilts Wynn into riding down to the school to help her friend). The two twins who really oughtn’t be let out without keepers are prime candidates for British Upper Class Twit of the Year.
Yet there were times when I wanted to bash Wynn when he – yet again – dismissed Rosellen’s claims that someone is trying to kill her. I mean how many near misses can one person be expected to have and it not be intended. Too many coincidences are never just coincidental. He also rails at her in one scene then kisses her without consent though in fairness, from that point he’s a romantic goner and he self flagellates himself for doing this even after Rosellen decks him for it. I also wish that Rosellen’s perfectly understandable reason for repeatedly going to the extreme in denying she needs help had been explained earlier but I guess that would have dampened the growing sparks between the two. Plus it’s obvious from the start that this is a farce.
The final denouement is a wild ride set in motion by a decision Rosellen takes in order to end the threats to her. Some readers might take exception to what she decides to do. The hero certainly initially does though of course it ends well – except for the nation upon whom the villain will be dumped (though thank goodness it’s not the US). But said villain gets stuck with a harpy shrew so perhaps he’ll be busy fending her off to cause problems for anyone else. It’s a fun romp and I still enjoyed the book but maybe not quite as much as before. B
~Jayne
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I love Barbara Metzger. Her stories are frequently lol funny and she usually includes wonderful animal characters in her books. I too read this years ago and I laughed a lot and have never forgotten it.
Thank you for reminding me of a good read!
@Mary Beth: I was delighted that the Suck Fairy didn’t dust fart smelling glitter all over it. I’m glad it brings back good memories for you, too.
The concept – sending a letter to everyone who has wronged me – ooh, the appeal. This is the first book by Barbara Metzger that I read and I enjoyed it so much that I spent the next three or four weeks reading all of her other novels (thank you, Scribd).
@LML: I guess today people would send a text message or trumpet it all over twitter. But there’s something so physically satisfying about actually writing out, on your (supposed) death bed, how you’ve been done wrong that appeals to me. “Take *this* cruel world!” then signing it with a flourish.
Thank you, Jayne, I love a good letter. I’m currently reading Mad About You by Mhairi Macfarlane which features an epic letter. As I was reading it I was thinking who could hold a pen for that long these days? My hand would be a claw. What with typing everything, our wrists are just not up to pages and pages of cursive. Macfarlane often features beautifully elegant letters and make me sad no one writes them anymore.
@Jenreads: And how many people even know how to write in cursive these days? But there’s nothing like getting a fat envelope in the mail from a friend then sitting down to read what they’ve written to you.
@Jayne: I miss that so much! Remember schools setting up kids with pen pals from other countries? I had friends from Israel and Australia that I corresponded with for years. I remember sending and receiving airograms. Does anyone else remember those?
@Jayne: Yes, I heard that someone overheard a young person say they wished they knew how to translate cursive. LOL, cursive is English. And that reminds me of another story I heard from someone who worked in a law firm. They sent one of their interns to get rid of the microfiche in the storage room. The kid wasn’t even familiar with that word–didn’t know what microfiche was. God, I feel old.
@Janine: Hahahaha – translate cursive. Bless their hearts. I’ve heard that it’s being taught again. Microfiche is one thing I’m not sorry to see go.
@Janine, you can count me as one who remembers aerograms! I definitely wrote and received my share.
@Jayne: I never understood the logic behind the discontinuing of teaching cursive. It makes handwriting go so much faster. Learning cursive just about killed me (I was an ESL student used to writing from right to left) but I can’t imagine how much poorer my life would be if I didn’t know it.
I was at a friends house and her niece was practicing her cursive. She was six and was having a hard time figuring out how to get from capital A to lowercase b. Her signature was very cute. Of course, all the adults had to the show their signature.
I’ve often thought that if I ever need to send coded messages, messy cursive writing is the way to go.
During the first year of the pandemic my (adult) cousin sent me a text – my mom had sent her a card, which was so sweet, but she couldn’t read my mother’s handwriting and could I maybe translate it for her? And I did. To be fair to my cousin, my mother’s handwriting is terrible and almost impossible for most people to read.
Well I’ve spoken with a teacher I know who is in his mid twenties now. He grew up without cursive (mainly learned it in order to be able to write his signature). His view is that handwriting is probably a dying art what with everyone moving towards digital everything. The consensus of those in on the discussion is that it will probably eventually have to be taught as a required course to those students studying history who would need to be able to read historical documents.
@cleo: Cursive can be a bear to learn to write well. The reason I can is a testament to my ESL English teacher, Mrs. Greenleaf. Somewhere along the way I mastered it and I remember how she marveled at the clarity my handwriting had miraculously attained. For the longest time writing in print was easier for me.
@Jayne: For sure, history students will have to know it (and another sad fact is that archived correspondence is dying alongside cursive–we won’t have the letters of past presidents in a century or two like we do now). But I hate the thought of being dependent on a device because what if it breaks? I suppose in the future we’ll have so many of them on our bodies–not just phones and watches–that there will always be a backup and it won’t matter. Until that day arrives, though, I’ll be glad I can read and write in it.