REVIEW: Slayers of Old by Jim C. Hines
Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Golden Girls in this humorous contemporary standalone fantasy about a group of former Chosen Ones coming out of retirement to save the world one last time
Three former Chosen Ones have joined together to spend their retirement in peace and quiet, running Second Life Books and Gifts in Salem, MA. A calm, peaceful, tourist-filled oasis, where they never have to worry about saving the world. Until some of the locals start summoning ancient creatures best left where they were . . . and they discover that their bookstore basement just may be the portal to the underworld. These ex-heroes may have thought they were done . . . but if they want to finish their retirement in peace, they’ll have to join together to save the world one last time.
Why leave saving the world to the young? Cozy mystery readers looking for an extra dash of magic will eat this story up: fun, funny, and heartwarming, it’s a novel about community, second chances, and the healing power of scones.
CW/TW – book is slightly adjacent to body horror at times
“Powerful. Overbearing. On the shorter side. Weirdly fond of strawberry milkshakes.”
Dear Mr. Hines,
The blurb and the cover sucked me into this. How could I resist a group of aging former heroes saving the world one last time plus a cat with tentacles? Answer – that wasn’t going to happen. So here I am ready to warn readers that this one has plenty of Feels, lots of humor but straight cozy? No, I don’t think so based on my understanding of the trope as this book has some darkness.
Two of the MCs, Jenny and Annette, are in their 50s/60s and have aches and pains where and when they didn’t used to. Jenny wears orthopedic sneakers. The other MC, Temple, is pushing 100 and his knees definitely aren’t what they used to be. Yeah, Temple, mine creak more now, too.
“We’re used to strangeness,” I added. “I was once shrunk to eight inches tall so I could hunt and kill a cursed Barbie doll.”
He searched the room until he found a pair of mismatched socks. “I saw the three of you in a dream. I came to Salem to stop you from ending the world.”
Weird things are happening in the house/store where they live in Salem, MS. Each main character has a Past which comes with Regrets and What Ifs. For the past twenty years, they’ve lived together as platonic friends running a used bookstore/gift shop and becoming fond of the 200 year old house that has been in Temple’s wizard family that long. The house lovingly takes care of them (though words have been had about boundaries), such as providing another closet when needed (I could really use that feature) or opening drawers for an item you need and is warded with protection spells. But after leaving magic and hunting monsters behind them, evil is headed their way again.
I enjoyed all of these characters plus the many secondary and tertiary ones. Not all of them are tossed at the reader all at once so I easily kept track of them. Some characters are not as they are first introduced while others are laboring under illusions which they need to have shaken out of them. Annette, Jenny, and Temple are layered people with, as I mentioned, past baggage which, of course, will become Important at the worst time. But sometimes Becoming Important is a good thing, too.
He pushed himself up on his elbows. I could tell from his quickened breathing and heartbeat that he was shaken, but his face didn’t show it. “Exorcizo, te, inundissine spiritus, omnis incursio adversarii, omne phantasma, omnis legio.”
He’d skipped Indignant Protests and jumped right to Trying a Different Tactic.
The plot is not too convoluted and often relies on tried and true tropes such as idiots attempting to open portals to bad places with bad things waiting on the other side. It also has family issues, regrets, chances for atonement, realization that some things can’t be changed but might be repaired, and tentacles. The pace is easy at first as everything is set out and up but then it kicks into gear as the world must be saved.
I like that these people make mistakes, have made mistakes in the past, but are trying to do right for the situation and do right by the other characters, if that is possible. There are times when my urge was to yell, “you can’t fix this” but as the MCs are basically good people, I knew they’d try anyway. Tough choices are made at times and there’s one bittersweet choice I knew was coming which I can’t argue with but the overwhelming found family friendship was fantastic.
In the end, yes, (come on, this isn’t really a spoiler) the world is saved. Bridges are in the process of being mended. One character receives grace which (IMO) isn’t earned but which is still given as the giver is obviously a better person than I am. There’s Squidward (see the book cover) running around the house pissing off the mice. The house is taking care of its own again, family has been found, and a young hero is being trained because, nobody’s getting any younger, right? I had fun with this one which though it’s definitely got its cozy moments is a bit too dark for me to call a straight cozy fantasy. B
~Jayne
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This sounds like a fun read, Jayne. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
@Kareni: It is mostly fun but it has its moments of bittersweet. But to me these weren’t really gut punch moments as they can be seen approaching you in the rear view mirror. I did daydream about what I’d want my sentient house to do.