REVIEW: F*cked Up Fairy Tales: Sinful Cinderellas, Prince Alarmings, and Other Timeless Classics by Liz Gotauco
Bawdy, shocking, and hilarious interpretations of classic and rare fairy tales from a beloved TikTok storyteller.
Based on the wildly popular web series, F*cked Up Fairy Tales presents modern retellings of some of the strangest and darkest stories humans had the audacity to invent. Inspired by sources from around the world, “Cosbrarian” Liz Gotauco conjures gossipy animals, homicidal royals, doomed commoners, and shape-shifting beaux—all reckoning with complicated, adult problems that “Disney versions” have sanitized.
F*cked Up Fairy Tales explores timeless themes that have long tickled the human subconscious, from accidental bestiality (“So . . . You Married an Animal”) and catastrophic marriages (“Crappily Ever After”) to the vexed question of what to do with your murderous lindworm child (“F*cked Up Family Trees”). Gotauco highlights the not-so-distressed damsels and overlooked voices of folklore, including heroes like the Philippines’ unlucky-in-love goddess Maria Makiling, India’s clever Princess Kalendrin, and Chile’s no-nonsense Snow White. She also teases and topples fairy tale tropes: for every wicked stepmother there’s a gaslighting sorcerer; for every royal wedding there’s an embarrassingly public breakup; childhood lessons of idleness, innocence, and piety are put on hold for questions about lust, aging, and divine poetic justice. And her deeply researched yet hilarious asides offer insight into the stories’ contested origins and spill deliciously weird details about fairy tale authors like Madame d’Aulnoy and the Brothers Grimm.
Sexy, disturbing, and outrageous, with stylish, distinctive illustrations, F*cked Up Fairy Tales celebrates the astonishing diversity of the oral tradition, reaffirming our universal love for a story that’s messy as f*ck.
CW – Here be the unsanitized versions.
Even the nicest stepparent faces bumps in the road when blending families. Murder is one way to deal with that? (My lawyer is advising me to stress that this is a joke.)
Review
Sure I’ve read some of the original versions of Brothers Grimm stories. At first, long ago when I still had my rose colored glasses, I was shocked. Shocked, I tell you! These aren’t what Walt put up on the silver screen. Well, if he read this book, I think Walt would have a heart attack.
My mission is to break those bonds. I love telling fairy tales to adults, because when you push past the Disney of it all, fairy tales are about people and situations that are messy as fuck.
Gathered from around the world and often showcasing different versions of many of the classics, this is full on, all out, no holds barred. There are also crossover stories that take a little bit of this and a little bit of that. And wow are there some douchebag miva princes with shoe fixations.
he only part of me that is grievously injured is my heart!” the prince whined. He tossed his father the slipper. “If I cannot find the owner of this shoe, I will literally die.” He threw back his head and wailed.
He and Donkey-Skin’s beau need a support group.
The king assured his emo son that he would send men out to all corners of the kingdom to locate the mystery woman.
(the Bolded part is Gotauco’s aside)
Lots of the heroines start and remain the meek and gentle souls who put up with all the shit that gets dumped on them but a few, like a Korean woman, finally stand up and call their idiot husband out on his idiocy because really, he can’t tell the difference between his wife and his stepsister? For weeks? She all but smacked him upside his head.
This is the worst prequel to Weekend at Bernie’s I have ever read.
“Now, now, there’s no use crying over spilled brother. Let’s pick up his pieces. I’ll have
to cook him into our dinner!”Heddie offers the rare representation of wicked stepmother and wicked mother!
Yikes, maybe fairy tales were told to teach children what not to do but was there therapy offered as a side with that?
There’s a whole section of body fluids. Fartlore is also a thing. I love the Indian story wherein the wife’s menstrual cycle helps end a curse and will gleefully blame the Korean prince for originating the common cold. Marry animals? Sure. These tales often contain the nosy family members who just can’t keep themselves from spying on the spouse who shifts. The Danish Lindworm prince, though, is born that way and doesn’t care who knows it. He is, however, not averse to a little BDSM from his heroine.
You want diversity? You got it! You want anti-colonization? Got it covered. Want to see a 70some year old Italian woman catfish a horny prince into bed? He did beg for it. And yay, the tales are identified by nation, translation, and there are suggestions for further examples to dive into. One of my favorites though is one with a strong heroine, “Molly Whuppie.” Even though she does some questionable things, this would make a fabulous film. Here she is returning from a mission for a king who has promised her his youngest son if she’s successful.
Molly cackled. “Well, you can tongue my fartbox, ya fucking walloper!”
Covered in ogre guts, Molly Whuppie returned to the palace. The king met her there with his youngest son. “So, Molly, what do you say we get this marriage contract drawn up?”
Molly looked the prince up and down. “You can keep your contract. I’ve got greater things waiting for me than marrying some pampered inbred weakling. No offense.” She patted the prince’s shoulder. “I’m gonna see what else this great big world has in store.”
Dayum, what a woman. Though this story is from Scotland, apparently Eastern Europe was especially rich in lady slayer heroines.
Yes, so, so many of these tales are bizarre and unhinged. Some are disturbing and thankfully come with warning labels. But the asides show that Gotauco knows these stories are, as the title says, f*cked up. If you want unexpurgated to go with your variety, this collection is a great starting point with, as I mentioned, references after each story and a large list at the end to further your reading. B
~Jayne
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Thank you so much for your lovely review! if you haven’t already, can you post it on Google Books, Goodreads, Amazon, and/or other review sites? I’d love to get the book into more readers’ hands. <3 Hope you're having a lovely fall – Liz Gotauco