REVIEW: A Bulletproof Ground Sloth by Pat Spain
“This is the scene everyone will remember,” is how the director described the bullet-ant ceremony moments before Pat Spain took his place in the line of initiates. If online views, memes, family parties, and talk-show mentions are the measure, he wasn’t wrong. The Tucandeira ceremony of the Sateré-Mawé is known as the most extreme ritual in the world, and Pat agrees with that assessment wholeheartedly. After hosting hundreds of hours of wildlife-adventure TV programs, Pat is no stranger to the pain animals can inflict, but the bullet ants took this to an entirely new level.
On the Hunt in Brazil is an unblinking look into Pat’s journey through Amazonia with a National Geographic film crew, attempting to uncover the truth behind the mythical mapinguari – a giant one eyed monster who can kill you with a scream. Over the course of two weeks, Pat participates in the Tucandeira, smuggles weapons on an aircraft, accidentally exposes himself to old people, learns that Brazil’s sexy reputation is well deserved, and hears an ancient legend, never before shared with a Westerner, that points him towards a conclusion about the mapinguari and a surprising explanation for the seemingly tall-tales.
Dear Mr. Spain,
I’ve been inhaling your books as quickly as I can get my hands on them. It’s the subheadings – in this case” On the Hunt in Brazil: or, How I Lost My Mind, Was Dyed Blue, and Accidentally Learned How to Smuggle Weapons” – along with the covers that make them. I can see why you wanted the woman who designed these covers to do a tattoo for you using the bullet ant over your old chemo port scar.
By this point I know to expect the intro to the book to cover a bit about yourself, your childhood, how you got started as a TV host, how you met your lovely wife, and the way she announces, by where she grew up, that people should not fuck with her or her family. As nice and laid back as she sounds, I’d also bet that the bullet ants wouldn’t want to mess with her either. Too bad they did feel like messing with you.
Of course as soon as you mentioned the public reaction to the footage of you participating in the Sateré-Mawé ceremony as a way to show them respect and hopefully gain their trust enough to tell you what they know about the mythical mapinguari, I headed straight to youtube to watch. Holy —-. Nope, another thing I will never, ever be tempted to do but kudos to you and I’m glad that the respect you showed to the tribe was enough for them to open up and share with you things they’d never told another outsider.
As with the other books, I also thoroughly enjoyed your tales of travel in Brazil – and yes that amazing hotel (the nice one) sounded divine – as well as the bit about your not-divine shoe-box sized apartment in Boston. The star rating scale that you and the other members of the crew worked out is hilarious. For me, the “I won’t eat it unless I’m starving” food entry here is the fire roasted tarantula.
The possible explanation for the cryptid animal of the book also makes perfect sense. After I read a book that mentioned bunyips, I talked a little with one of our other reviewers and then delved into what science knows of them and the “passed down lore” from when Indigenous people reached Australia and possibly met up with them matches with what you say about the mapinguari. With all the animals being de-extincted, maybe one day western science will believe what the people who know the land the best have been talking about. So yay for another fun and crazy book and I look forward to reading the next one. B
~Jayne
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Thank you so much! I love this review and am so glad to hear you’re enjoying the books!
Would it be OK for me to share this on social media?
Thank you again!
@Pat Spain: Hi, Pat. Thanks for stopping by. Sure, feel free to share it. I’ve also reviewed most all the other books out digitally now.
https://dearauthor.com/book-author/pat-spain/
May I ask, will “The Mongolian Death Worm” be released digitally?
Thanks so much! Will read the other reviews (and share them as well). Really so glad to hear you are enjoying them.
Mongolian Death Worm – it should be available as an ebook – checking with the publisher now and will get back to you when I hear. That was the last one turned in for final edits – right at the wire – so – there may have been some delay there. Thank-you again
Hello Jayne! Thank you again for letting me know about the Mongolia book – it’s now available electronically. I hope you like it! I tend to think it’s the funniest – I hope?
I’ve just written my first kids book – looking for an illustrator, publisher, etc now. Hopefully 2024-2025.
Hope you’re having a great summer and thank you again for the honest reviews!
@Pat Spain: Hi, Pat. Thanks for getting back to me about Mongolian Death Worm. I’ve enjoyed all the book titles so far and am looking forward to checking this one out.