Reading List by Jayne for Fireside Guides
I adore those cartoons, greeting cards and calendars (yes I had one) that use 1950s illustrations with modern captions so when I saw these offered for review at netgalley, it was a no-brainer for me to request them. Politically correct? Why, no, not at all. Funny enough for me to laugh out loud enough to startle my cats as I read them? You betcha.
The Fireside Grown-Up Guide to the Hangover by Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris
The international publishing phenomenon and ridiculously funny new parody series that helps grown-ups learn about the world around them using large clear type, simple and easy-to-grasp words, frequent repetition, and thoughtful matching of text with pictures.
Have you been having trouble with the How, Why, and Wheres? Well fear no more. The Fireside Grown-Up Guide series understands that the world is just as confusing to a forty-year-old as it is to a four-year-old. We’re here to help and break down the most pressing and complex issues of our day into easy-to-digest pieces of information paired with vivid illustrations even a child could understand.
A good hangover is a complete mystery. How did this happen? Why do I feed so horrible? In this Fireside Grown-Up Guide to the Hangover, we’ll investigate exactly how much debauchery you caused last night and what you can do for that pounding headache today. Filled with practical advice and fun facts—like how your consumption of bacon is totally justified for this morning—this guide might even persuade you to drink less next time, but we all know that’s not going to happen.
This cat is judging you.
Get off the floor.
And put some underwear on.
~~~~~~
Prepare a hangover first-aid kit of a banana and a pint of water to put by your
bedside before going out for an evening’s drinking.
When you wake fully dressed the next morning, you can look
at the untouched glass and the uneaten banana and wonder who
left them there, and why.
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The Fireside Grown-Up Guide to Mindfulness by Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris
Mindfulness: the skill of thinking you are doing something, when in fact you are doing nothing. In this Fireside Grown-Up Guide to Mindfulness, we’ll meet a blissful cast of characters who’ve learned to free themselves from unnecessary worries like work, friends, and family. When they are fired from their jobs and abandoned by their friends and family, they learn to combat their stress by practicing mindfulness, and teach us a few lessons along the way.
“There is more wisdom in a waterfall than there is in a
hundred men,” says Jake.
Jake is always saying things like this.
His ex-wife’s sister calls him Jerk.
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The Fireside Grown-Up Guide to the Mom by Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris
A mom has two very important jobs: to look after her children and to do everything else well. In this Fireside Grown-Up Guide to Mom, we learn about what moms like (making toys out of corks from her many, many wine bottles), what she hates (the sound of her own voice, which now sounds just like her mom’s), what she’s really thinking about when she leaves her children with a babysitter (whether or not the babysitter can handle these little monsters), and many other enlightening facts.
Being a new mom is full of wonder.
Sally wonders if her left shoulder will ever stop smelling of puke.
~~~~~~
The mom always carries a handbag. It contains important
supplies and weighs as much as a microwave oven full of shoes.
Lara has a recurring nightmare in which the Handbag Police
caution her for not having enough wet wipes or emergency
bananas.
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The Fireside Grown-Up Guide to the Husband by Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris
The husband knows many things. For example, he knows how many stairs there are in his house—in case he arrives home too drunk to see them properly. In this Fireside Grown-Up Guide to the Husband, you can learn about what husbands like (making simple repairs and then droning on about what a struggle they were), what he hates (being wrong), how often he is really listening (only thirty percent of the time), and many other enlightening facts.
This is a husband.
He may look complicated,
but he is in fact very simple.
He runs on sausages and beer.
~~~~~~~~
The husband likes to do simple repairs, like changing the
washer on a faucet. Afterward, he likes to talk
at great length about what a struggle it was and will want
to be treated as if he has invented a machine that turns farts into gold.
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If my husband could turn farts into gold, we’d be sitting pretty!