REVIEW: Shiver M’ Timbers (Amberpax Collection) by Jordan, Hart, Willows, Bridger and Lamont
Dear. Ms. Jordan,
While “The Legend of Black Robert Flynn” isn’t awful, neither is it any better than just average. It starts well with young, innocent friends then fast forwards to the heroine running away from an abusive marriage straight into the hands of the now pirate hero who saves her after she’s nearly raped by an entire ship of other pirates. After recognizing her as his lost love, he vows to “have her” and makes a bargain to keep the others off her if she gives herself to him. For a woman who’s endure 5 years of marital hell followed by a narrow escape from a gang bang, she sure gives herself over to hot loving quickly enough. But the lovin’ is hot and he does truly love her, even if he’s not going to tell her who he is just yet. But her husband appears on the scene and a fight is in the works. But then, suddenly we’re fast forwarded yet again but this time back to London where a faithful subordinate has delivered our girl who now mourns her recognized love until suddenly he appears and it’s The End. C- for you, as Jane says.
Dear Ms. Hart,
Thank you, thank you for “Emerald Isle.” Robin Steele and his wife Nora are after the Irish pirate Queen Grace O’Malley who robbed them of a leprechaun jewel that is the secret to finding treasures untold. Determined to get it back, Robin sets off after Grace with Nora hot on his heels. Everyone ends up in an underground cavern and all are subject to the leprechaun’s tricks including a fae f*ck spell while trying to gather treasure, avoid death, have some hot sex and escape. I trust that you have more adventures in store for Robin and Nora with the open ended way the story closes? This one is fast, very funny and well worth buying. B for you.
Dear Ms. Willows,
What were you thinking in “Her Bounty” with this plot of a young woman who roams the seas looking to capture and kill pirates to avenge her dead husband? I can’t believe that she’s avoided rape and death up until now. And then one night of hot loving, well one afternoon and one night, and suddenly she’s in love with the privateer hero who’s also in love with her because she’s so beeyuteful. And such a good f*ck. Then an encounter with real pirates that is so straight from central casting it’s painful to read and that’s the end? D for you.
Dear. Ms Bridger,
You have been watching Pirates of the Caribbean a lot, haven’t you? Oh, what a painfully feisty heroine who longs for adventure and roams Tortuga dressed as a man and can fence. A little. And our hero with his braided and beaded hair and tricorn hat who falls into lust with her. And the Royal Navy people who pop into the story when needed. Kidnapped heroine? Yep. Sea fight? Got it. Hot loving in the house that the heroine bullies her father into letting her live in alone even though this is the 1720s and unmarried females simply would never have been allowed to do that? Wait, that wasn’t in PotC. Your unusual ending saves this one from a D-. D for you for “Phantom’s Lair.”
Dear. Ms Lamont,
“Prepare to Be Boarded” is….is….well, painful. From the heroine who practically drools with lust upon seeing the pirate captain board the vessel carrying her and her evil uncle (plus other assorted family members) to his new plantation in Jamaica to the hot loving within an hour of them meeting to the party picnic atmosphere of the pirate throwdown that evening to the night of hot loving less than 12 hours after meeting this one just didn’t work for me at all. The suddenly available pardon for the happy couple who really only seemed hot for more hot loving ended this one right in time. D- for you.
Since these novellas range from 55-76 pages, there’s not a whole lot of room for expanded plots and characterization and yes, they are marketed as erotica, but since each seems to be written for a HEA, I did expect more than I got from most of you.