REVIEW: Mister McHottie by Pippa Grant
Dear Pippa Grant,
Mandi from Smexy Books was tweeting about how much this book was making her laugh and how much fun she was having reading it. As soon as I read her review I one-clicked.
Ambrosia Berger and Chase Jett grew up together in Wishberry Lake, Minnesota. (Ambrosia went by “Bro” then but her friends call her “Sia” now.) Chase was best friends with Bro’s twin brothers, Zeus and Ares (their mother was a Greek philosophy professor and obviously hates her children) and all three boys delighted in tormenting Bro. By the time Bro turned 12, she’d had enough and started fighting back. The prank wars were EPIC.
When Bro was 18, a prank involving the Bratwurst Wagon and Chase got out of hand and they ended up screwing each other’s brains out on the floor of the van. When the police came, Chase shouted “Go!” and took off. Unfortunately, Bro interpreted Chase’s instruction differently and headed for the driver’s seat. Which was how she was arrested, naked, for stealing a car. Needless to say, the Bergers and Chase had a falling out and declared lifelong enmity since then. While humorous, “the Bratwurst incident” had devastating consequences for Bro and she left town shortly after and has never been back. She lost her chance to attend the college of her choice and has fought hard to rise to Social Media Manager of Crunchy, a Whole Foods type organic grocery store in New York – which has just been bought out by one Chase Jett (aka the Dick) who in the decade since they last saw one another has become a billionaire whose mission is to rid the world of baloney.
The humour of the book is, to say the least, very broad. And, like much comedy, it will not be to everyone’s taste. Even when I was laughing I was internally running away from all the volatility in the relationship. Me? I like peace and contentment. However, Chase and Bro are Not. Like. Me. They light up when each other is around. For the most part, the lighting up they do consists of bruising insults and nasty pranks, thinly disguising scorching chemistry which they cannot control.
“Tell me I have a crooked dick,” he growls.
“It’s so twisted it belongs in a mental hospital,” I say.
He grins and dives for my pussy. “Yeah, baby, my dick and I can both live with you and that ugly mouth.”
And that’s the last time he makes me come in public for the rest of the day.
Part of me was exhausted. Part of me cringed at the idea of security guards watching Bro and Chase have elevator sex. Part of me cheered when Bro stood up for herself anyway and Chase, consistent with the peculiar rules of their “game” played fair and didn’t let her catch heat for a mutual hate-fuck. I admit it took me a little while to catch the rhythm of the story. It’s not meant to be realistic – or at least, that’s what I decided. It’s a farce, at times it’s vicious, but it’s what works for them. And I decided that if they were okay with it, who was I to judge?
Bro has a glorious group of friends and I loved the depiction of their friendship. (They are in an all-girl boy-band cover band. How awesome is that??)
Parker gives me the wide-eyeball I am furious with you sit down right now you have so much explaining to do can I borrow that dress I LOVE it finger point of doom.
Zeus and Ares are massive guys and pro hockey players. Ares is not remotely smart. Zeus has what passes for the brains of the pair. They are fiercely protective of their little sister and sanguine about the pranks she has successfully played on them over the years.
The wider cast of Mister McHottie was a lot of fun and while there was plenty of sequel bait, it wasn’t at all intrusive.
The story is told in first person present tense, from the alternating points of view of both Bro and Chase. Bro’s internal dialogue cracked me up.
Are penis extensions a real thing? Because if I were a dude with a billion dollars, and it didn’t hurt, I’d totally go for that.
The humour is deliberately over-the-top and reminded me a little of one of my favourite books of last year, Most Eligible Bastard by Annika Martin, except on steroids.
And I swear to god, if he ever gets that curve in it straightened out, I’ll kill him, because the things that curve did to my—
Ah, because it’s obviously a serious issue, and I like knowing Chase Jett’s penis is malformed. My nipples aren’t still hard and turned on. Your nipples are hard. Shut up.
It’s not all ridiculous humour and insults however. Snuck in amongst the glitter bombing and hate-fucking is a hero who actually isn’t (usually) a dick. He’s a business man who wants to do good and look after people, including his staff. He doesn’t have strange double-standards and he believes in equality and fairness. He puts his money where his mouth is. Don’t think I didn’t notice.
By four, I have a stack of paperwork outlining at least a dozen cases of harassment or inappropriate relationships that have been swept under the rug with severance packages. I want to hit something.
Because both Bro and Chase are obviously massively weird, they have a rather unusual method of courtship and foreplay. It reminded me of the kindergarten boy pulling the kindergarten girl’s pigtails to show he liked her. Of course, there’s a whole discussion there about patriarchy and toxic masculinity and such but for the purposes of this book, it takes the concept and ratchets it up to eleventy billion.
—and she hasn’t booby-trapped my office with glitter bombs or rotting fish or lingerie that smells like her pussy.
It’s like I don’t exist to her.
Mister McHottie is light-hearted, firmly tongue-in-cheek and not to be taken seriously but it is also sweet and funny and sexy and dirty. Even though Bro’s and Chase’s HEA is perhaps untypical, I believed it. I’d be exhausted but I think they thrive on the drama. I had a blast visiting their world, even though I’m happy I don’t live there.