REVIEW: Zomromcom by Olivia Dade
Dear Olivia Dade,
Edie Brandstrup lives in Zone A, inside the Containment Zone, somewhere close to Washington DC. Two decades earlier, the “Breach” occurred and the zombies escaped from the government facility which had been experimenting to create a super soldier capable of killing the recently outed werewolves. One dose of the serum too many meant what the scientists created was a being incapable of thought but driven to rip off heads and slurp brains. They can’t use tools or swim or climb, but they’re very efficient killers. All the scientists and soldiers guarding the facility found that out the hard way. So, the government created the Containment Zone, a series of walls, moats and drawbridges in concentric circles around the underground bunker the zombies are, well, contained in.
Property prices in the Containment Zone (especially Zone A) are in the toilet. Mostly people don’t want to live there and the ones who do usually have something to hide, apart from the die-hards who never left, like Edie. Edie’s parents died in the Breach, saving her life. The house is all that’s left of them and she’s determined to stay. She makes custom soaps from her garage and ships them all over, having few real-life friends because getting into the Containment Zone is strictly monitored and not many people want to be there anyway.
Edie has a lot of trauma around what happened to her parents and the fact they willingly died to protect her. So she “patrols” the neighbourhood and tries to pay if forward and save others from harm. It’s her way of making her parents’ sacrifice worthwhile. Of course, Edie is enough for that herself but she’s still working through things and it takes a long time for her to come to grips with that. She has determined that no-one else should die to save her ever again.
Three years earlier, “Chad” a very good looking stoner-dude moved in next door. He looked “like you just got kicked out of an exclusive, pretentious European club for surly hot dudes because you were far too surly and hot, even for your fellow members.” She tried to make friends with him but she quickly realised there wasn’t a lot going on in his brain.
But, Chad is not who he appears to be – as Edie discovers when the zombies somehow escape from their compound behind a wall with no drawbridge (as no-one is supposed to get out, ever) and Edie tries to protect Chad from what would be certain death if he didn’t turn out to be a vampire concealing his identity instead.
Taking shelter in Chad’s house, Edie learns that the vampire’s real name is Gaston Maxime Boucher – because of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, he prefers to go by Max (er, when he’s not going by Chad). Peppered throughout the book are various imaginative takes on Gaston’s song from the iconic movie, which Edie often sings at the top of her lungs to needle Max. It does always get a reaction and Edie can’t help herself. (I have the feeling that the author had a great deal of fun dreaming these parodies up and took at least as much gleeful delight in them as Edie did!)
Max is surly and arrogant but he’s clearly been far more interested in Edie than she was previously aware of and circumstances force them together, as they wait for the government forces to come and contain the breach. At first Edie is a bit nervous about being alone with a vampire but…
He could have torn out her heart a hundred times by now if that were his goal. Then again, perhaps he simply preferred murdering at a more leisurely pace. Like the homicidal equivalent of the Slow Food movement.
Max came to the Containment Zone to get away from people. He had no intention of caring about anyone but something about Edie gets to him. It’s not really a morality chain novel but it certainly starts off that way. Max has hidden and supressed his softer side due to trauma of his own but over time, Edie reconnects him to his softer side.
When the government doesn’t come to save them, Edie determines to go to them to alert them to what’s happening and, of course, Max has to go with her because he has to protect her. He HAS. TO. (swoon)
Along the way they have various adventures, some extremely funny and some extremely dangerous and tense and, they get to know one another more and more. It’s a pressure cooker situation so I didn’t have any difficulty believing their feelings for each other were genuine even though they grew quickly. Max had clearly had some kind of feelings for her for a long time but they didn’t really know each other until they began working together after the Second Breach. Plus, something about a paranormal romance helps me to accept a fast pace of romance to HEA.
Zomromcom is a funny book. There’s plenty of humour and I laughed and snorted my way through much of it. Max is a very old vampire and leans hard into the arrogance and superiority readers often see in vampire romances and Edie pokes at it mercilessly.
Edie couldn’t resist, despite the urgency of the situation. “Also, you have resting murder face. RMF, if you will.”
“Exactly.” The girl nodded. “You look like you’d rather maim someone than wallow in unbearable ennui.”
His neutral expression became an affronted scowl. “I can maim and wallow at the same time, young woman. I multitask very effectively.”
Edie isn’t having it though and is always looking for ways to take him down a peg or two, even as she falls in love with him. It becomes clear he amps it up just to please her. (Although I’m certain his smugness about all her orgasms is very real.) Edie will never not want to get a bite out of him – pardon the pun – by eating over-processed food (Max is quite pained by “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Falafel”).
Max also has a semi-secret online identity and there is much hilarity to be had there too. I’ll just say macrame underpants and leave it at that.
But for all the paranormal aspects and the humour, there is, at its core, a through-line of truth and deep emotion around loss and grief, trauma and betrayal. Edie and Max are very different but they each recognise the wounds in the other.
There were certain memories too dangerous to touch without some kind of self-protection. Make unguarded contact, and the third rail of your past could incinerate you.
She knew that better than most.
The action is thick and fast in the story and in the end it’s up to Edie and Max to save the day, along with some people they meet long the way who join their merry band of zombie hunters. (I did laugh a lot at the Oracle’s first prophecies.)
The story does end kind of abruptly, but there is clearly more to tell and I gather that at least some of it will be done via Gwen (said Oracle) in the next book. I’m hoping we’ll see more of Edie and Max in the next book as well. There were some plans Max talked about I really need more information about.
Zomromcom is a fun romp full of action and adventure, found family and noble heroes. The banter between Edie and Max is fantastic, with the signature loving snark I’ve come to (happily) expect from Olivia Dade.
I won’t badger you. Not even to find out your true age.”
His grin brightened the dim living room. “We both know that’s a lie.”
“Yes.” She raised a finger in emphasis. “But one told with the best of intentions, as well as a sincere desire for it to be true. So it basically is the truth in all important respects.”
“That’s also a lie.”
“According to certain faulty definitions of the term.”
Grade: A-
Regards,
Kaetrin
Oops.
This sounds cute. No, slurping brains isn’t cute. Fun? Hmmm, maybe not that either. Enticing? Getting closer. Readable!
Intriguing, @Jayne!
Thanks for your review, @Kaetrin. I had this on my list due to having enjoyed other books by the author, but you’ve definitely ramped up my interest.
@Jayne: The violence is not too graphic. More comic-book like IMO. Lots of fun!
@Kareni: I’ll read anything this author writes tbh. This is different from her previous books mainly because of the PNR but there are a lot of things that felt familiar too so if you are up for zombies I think you will enjoy!