Filed under: Letters of Opinion, Misc
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All Scottish men are named Jamie. But that’s only if they’re not called Alistair.
All Scottish men wear kilts, even when they were outlawed and even when they didn’t exist. All clans have an identifying tartan.
All Scottish men carry claymores.
Everyone is a Highlander because the Highlands start right at the border between England and Scotland.
Half the country has red hair and half has black. Not brown, mind you but raven, midnight black. There are no fair haired lassies in Scotland.
Speaking of Lassies, all women are lassies. Wee lassies especially. Never mind that actually refers to young girls.
All Scottish men prefer English brides.
Every other man is a Laird.
They all say “didnae, cannae, willnae, wouldnae” with the emphasis on the “ae.”
Scottish men are always drunk on single malt whisky.
Haggis is served at every meal.
Everyone lives near a loch.
They all own sheep. Sometimes drunk on single malt whisky, full on haggis, wet from the loch, they mistake the sheep for wee lassies and take off their tartan to lay on the …
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