Archive for the 'D Reviews' Category
As there are many ways to get romance wrong, there are exponentially more ways to get BDSM romance wrong. BDSM is tricky. If you’re writing it because it’s hot, but you’ve got no experience with it, you’re almost bound to get it wrong. Almost, but not always, I hasten to add. Examples of successful BDSM romances by authors who aren’t BDSM-identified themselves — as far as I know — are Ann Somerville’s Remastering Jerna and Matthew Haldeman-Time’s An Affair in Paradise and Victoria Dahl’s The Wicked West. So the “authenticity” of a writer who is BDSM-identified isn’t necessary, if that author has imagination, empathy, and has done their research. But still, there are many many ways to get BDSM hideously, awfully, horrifically wrong. I’ve written before about how not to write BDSM romance, but I’ve recently had a string of truly scary BDSM romances cross my computer screen, all scary in very different ways, so I thought I’d combine reviews into a discussion of What NOT To Do.
 Thirty Days by Shayla Kersten (Liquid Silver Books)
This book horrified me. So much so that I literally can’t bring myself …
Dear Ms. Andre:
 I admit that the one and only book I read by you was one about football and I had a fairly negative reaction to it given that so little of the football aspect was portrayed with accuracy.  I was  hoping that this would be different.  While Hot as Sin is readable, it suffers from the same problem as the football book.  The story is paramount and little details don’t matter so long as the story proceeds in the fashion that you want.  Accuracy, authenticity take second fiddle to the emotional arcs of the characters.
Sam and Dianna were the epitome of young love (or at least that is the set up that you want us to buy initially). Â Â Sam was 20 and I think Dianna was 18. Â Dianna, for reasons revealed later, leaves Sam at the tender age of 20 and Sam has never, ever gotten over it. Â He’s so connected to her that when he is told she was in a car accident in Colorado, he immediately flies (from the Lake Tahoe area) to be by her side. Â Sam is a forest firefighter, a “hotshot”.
The story that you tell about …
Dear Ms. McCarty:
 Your books have a beautiful look to them. They look and feel lush, heavy, as if the reader should curl up in front the fireplace with a hot toddy, a blanket and commence reading. Unfortunately for me, if I had done that, I would have been cooked to a crisp because this book too me a month to finish. It’s a lengthy tome, nearly 400 pages, and at the end, I couldn’t really understand why it was so everloving long.
Caleb is the beginning of a paranormal series that is populated with, at least, vampires and werewolves. The first story features Caleb, a shapeshifting vampire, who is the eldest of a group of vampire brothers. (They are a group of rogues, says the blurb. By rogues, I assume that means renegade or someone who rejects the an established group, rather than say a dishonest, knavish fellow.)
The story begins quite well. Allie, the town baker, is in lust with one of her regular customers, Caleb Johnson. She tries to flirt with him, but he seems resistant. She buys a push up bra …
Dear Ms. Lee:
 The previous two books in the series have told us some awful things about James, the hero in Billionaire’s Bride of Innocence. James was desperate to have a family and when his super model girlfriend could not deliver the goods, so to speak, he divorced her, impregnated a nice young woman, and married the nice young pregnant woman. Â Yes, James is a classy guy. Â But he’s a billionaire who wants children. Â Doesn’t that really absolve him of all sins?
Megan, James’ docile sweet, innocent wife, loses the baby. In the hospital, she overhears James’ two friends, Hugh and Russell, speculating as to whether the marriage will stay together now that James has lost the one thing that he wanted. Â Hugh is incensed that James impregnated and then married Megan in the first place, knowing that James did not love her. Â Â Megan is distraught over this news and basically moves into the pool house, refusing to allow James touch her.
James is upset because, well, he wants to be a dad and how can he get her with child again unless they have sex?
Becoming a dad was what James wanted most
…
Dear Ms. Sheridan.
 Thank you for sending me your story when I was moaning on Twitter one night about wanting to read a BDSM romance. I hope you don’t regret it.
When I agreed to read the book, I had no idea it was #2 of the Beautiful C*cksucker series. I had no idea that BC *was* a series. I tend to agree with the outrage over the name (Paul Bens’ original reaction, Teddy Pig’s response, Karen Knows Best’s extensive discussion) but I also know that in BDSM play, some epithets that would otherwise be unacceptable (”cunt” comes to mind) are endearments during a scene. Which is not to say that they should be used as titles to the book/series. I will admit, though, that I deliberately avoided most of the debate and arguments because it was too huge and I’ve only got so much mental energy. But if the writing for BC#1 was anything like the writing for BC#2, we should all just have ignored it and let it slip into well-deserved obscurity.
I also had no idea how BC#2 connects with BC#1. And OMFG, doing the …
Dear Authors:
 I opened THIS anthology because I liked Sindustry I. But this volume is so obviously all the leftover stories from the Sindustry I anthology that didn’t quite make it into the first volume. And most of these stories should NOT have been included. This anthology had very few redeeming stories and some that make me want to puke, which kinda dampens any enthusiasm I might have for the whole. Mostly it’s filled with stories with awful, weak, boring, TSTL characters who couldn’t characterize their way out of a paper bag, and their ridiculously over-protective and unrealistic saviors. I have never really understood what m/m readers are complaining about when they say that that one of the characters doesn’t have to be the woman, but I do now. In this volume, one half of the relationship was invariably the damsel in distress who needed saving, the other the knight in shining armor who knew just how to take care of things, pretty lady…uh, I mean lad. Yech.
As in Sindustry I, the premise is that these are all stories about people in the sex industry, either strippers, prostitutes, or porn actors. This volume does a …
Dear Authors:
 I only opened this volume when Dreamspinner sent it to us because Madeleine Urban had a co-written story in it. I adore her longer co-written stories with Abigail Roux, and the volume started off with “Reluctant,” so I thought I’d have a great little story and then skim through the rest. Instead, “Reluctant” was truly awful and the rest of the stories saved me from chucking the volume off my computer.
At 332 pages, this is a seriously hefty volume (electronic, of course). And with only 12 stories, that’s between 25-30 pages a story, much longer than the usual short stories crammed into an anthology. This gives enough time to actually flesh out the characters, plots, and themes. Or time for the story to move from blah to boring and awful.
The theme for the volume is sex industry workers: both low- and high-end prostitutes and strippers, mainly. What was fascinating to me more than anything was how each story used the sex industry angle—as a meet-cute, as conflict, as a moral failing, as a perfectly legitimate profession, with or without comment. I’m strangely fascinated by this particular profession and by how …
Dear Ms. Way,
 I had heard your name mentioned when Australian writers were being discussed. And with “Paperback Hero” fresh on my brain, I decided to try “Cattle Baron: Nanny Needed” when I saw it at the eharlequin site.
Amber Wyatt knows she’s going to cause a scene when she shows up at her ex-fiance’s wedding to the granddaughter of the filthy rich Sir Clive Erskine. In fact, she’s planning on it. But despite what the bride’s mother, in her awful hat, might think, Amber has something tasteful in mind to remind Sean of how he jilted and publicly humiliated her.
But Rosemary Erskine hauls out the big guns and has her nephew, Cal MacFarlane step in. The result is Cal taking Amber out of commission, but in a kind way that takes the feelings of all parties into account. Cal’s fear is that his powerful relatives will retaliate against Amber, which is indeed what happens.
Now out of her broadcasting job, Amber decides to take Cal up on his offer to fly back to his Outback cattle station, Jingala, and spend some time doing what she’s always wanted to do, write.
When they arrive, it’s to discover …
Dear Mr. Pennington,
 I’m a fan of military suspense novels from way back when “The Hunt for Red October” was first published. Your novel, “Zhena,” caught my attention in that I wanted to know how well a Russian sleeper spy novel could work this long after the fall of the Soviet Union.
The novel starts well. We’re in the old, basement files of some former Soviet spy agency with an aged government worker questioning why someone is poking around here so many years since this area was last accessed. We quickly discover that a 20 year old program is being reactivated and the primary agent to be recovered is Susan Anderson.
Susan is a Navy wife. She grew up in an orphanage, attended Purdue University on a scholarship where she met Bill Anderson who was in the ROTC. It was insta-love. Susan just “knew” that Bill was the man for her. Now after almost twenty years of marriage, Bill is the XO of a submarine, they have two children and are living the American Dream – Navy style. Bill’s climbed the ranks and Susan has been behind him the whole way.
And now we, the reader, learn why …
Dear Ms. Adrian:
 I really fell in love with your series with the book featuring Tegan and Elise, Midnight Awakening. I believe it was in that book that we were introduced to Andreas Reichen. Andreas is a German vampire whose entire “family” was killed during a purge of Darkhaven homes who are perceived to be impediments to the ultimate rule of the bad vampires.
Andreas “gift” is overtaking him, spurred in part by his loss of control following the eradication of his family. Andreas is pyrokinetic and his rage literally fuels the fire. As he seeks out revenge against those he knows betrayed him, he loses his ability to harness both his gift and his bloodlust.
Claire Roth is the wife and breedmate of Wilhelm Roth. Roth and Andreas have always been at odds. Roth has been promised power in exchange for helping to eliminate those who stand by the Order, a group of Generation One vampires who hunt down rogue vampires and engage in an ongoing battle to keep humans safe. (As I was writing this review, I had to go back and look at previous books because there …
Dear Readers:
 There is this livejournal community called weepingcock wherein users collect literary outtakes of tragically bad sex scenes. In reading my fourth Ravenous Romance ebook, I’m convinced that there is some conspiracy between WC and RR, or at least some hidden symbiotic relationship because I haven’t read four books in a row from one publisher that so perfectly fit the mission of one livejournal community. I suspect that the WC users will subsidize RR press should it falter in this troublesome economy just to provide the community material.
American Star is thinly veiled fan fiction of the American Idol reality television series featuring aspirant Terre/ance* (tm Divas). Terre/ance is a manager at a tanning salon in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. Ostensibly, Terre/ance is dating Kevin, his boyfriend since high school and owner of the tanning salon. Terre/ance sees a notice in a newspaper about auditions for a singing reality show. Terre/ance decides that this is his opportunity to launch his singing career. He does not tell Kevin because Kevin is always looking for an opportunity to be derisive of Terre/ance.
When I say thinly veiled, I mean American Star …
The following is a spoiler filled tale in the spirit of Green Eggs and Ham.
I am a zombie fan!
Zombie fan I am
 That zombie-fan-I-am
That zombie-fan-I-am!
I do not like that Forest of Hand (and Teeth)!
Do you like
The village and Mary?
I am not being contrary.
This story is not
believable or scary.
Would you like Mary
On the run?
I would not like her
On the run.
I did not find the story fun.
I did not like
The escape plan.
I did not like it, as a zombie fan.
Did you like the love story?
Did you find the ending gory?
I did not like the
Love story.
I did not like the ending,
I did not find it gory.
I did not like the vagueness
of the undead.
I did not understand what was going
on in Mary’s head.
I did not like her
Selfish outlook.
I did not like
This Forest book.
I did not like it,
Zombie-fan-I-am.
Would you like it if the author
Moved Mary
To someplace
A little more scary?
Not in the new place.
Not with zombies in her face.
Not behind the fences please.
Not in a platform in the trees.
I did not like Mary
here or there.
I did not like her anywhere.
I did not like her selfish outlook.
I did not like this Forest book.
Why not? What’s wrong? Everyone else loves it.
It’s …
Warning – this is an epic review. And by epic, I mean long. And also full of terms like “joy juice” “muff” and “spunk.”
Dear Ms. Doyle:
 Thank you for sending me your book for review. I obviously have had some concerns about the quality of books that are being issued by Ravenous Romance given my last encounter, but it would be unfair of me to tar the entire catalog by the same Ladyfingered brush without exploring more of the RR catalog. This is going to be a good news/bad news post. I’ll give you the good news in the first paragraph. I thought this book was indeed better than Knight Moves.
The bad news is that the rest of the review will not contain any more “good news” kernels. Â Making a Scene is told in the first person present tense from the point of view of the female protagonist, a writer of cliched detective stories, three of which have made it onto the extended New York Times bestseller list. Â Her agent is in the midst of negotiating a film rights deal but the film people want the relationship in the next book to …
Power Play by Deirdre Martin
Celebs faking love
Same plot as the SEP
But here I love it
 Eric’s a player
Both in hockey and dating
His new team hates him
Monica? Soap star
In trouble — about to be
Upstaged by rival
Cure to their problems?
Fake romance for publicity
It’s a win for both.
What’s fake becomes real
They fall for each other fast
Will true love fix all?
What I liked about this:
Both enjoyed being celebs
No whiny bitching
Monica wants her
Picture taken, and so does
Eric. Feels HONEST.
Eric is a dork
And at times, sleazy – but I
Like the dual nature
Choosing between this
Book or WHAT I DID FOR LOVE?
No contest. B grade.
This book can be purchased in mass market from Amazon or ebook format from the Sony Store and other etailers.
Chasing Stanley by Deirdre Martin
 Another Blades book
This one features Eric’s twin
Jason as hero
The heroine here?
Jewish dog-walker and all
around stick-in-mud
Right away, I feel
these two are DOOMED for divorce.
Relationship fail.
He wants to party
She’s a homebody who loves
Animal Planet
He wants to party
(even more) but she is scared
To meet new people
He lies to her a
LOT. She can’t add him to her
Busy schedule. Sigh.
The only thing tying
These two together? Jason’s
Massive dog …
First DA Request
You guys are killing me here
Haiku seppuku
Cover made me think
That Passion was Spanish gal.
Nope. English Redhead.
 Story starts with bang
No really, hero bangs her
After public grope
Valdez likes words that
Make me cringe: quim & cunt. I
Titter like schoolgirl
Hero talks dirty
They have nasty public sex
I am on page…ten?
Her: Call me Passion
Him: I’m Mark, like the Bible
Me: Puke barf puke
Before we go on
Can we discuss Passion’s dual
chambered vagina?
Hero pushes in…
then… further in? Makes me
Check MY lady-parts.
I have had sex, too.
Last time I checked? One
Chamber vagina.
They repeatedly
Have public sex behind screen
It seems so, so wrong.
Book is like train wreck
PASSION, wish I could quit you
But I still read on.
Goes downhill from here
They have sex and sex and sex
Oh plot, where art thou?
Oh wait, here it is
Sandwiched in middle of book
Hero is blackmailed
Mark needs heirs for line
Passion is ‘barren’. Romance codespeak
for pregnancy plot.
He is to marry her cousin
Oh noes! Cue up one hundred
pages of emo
This is a romance
So all is well that ends well
(and sequel bait too)
My over-all thoughts?
Valdez is talented…but
There is too much skeeze.
Hero is a dirty talker
He tells Passion that she wants it
And how, where…and why.
He is less sexy
And more like a date rapist
And Passion? Doormat.
Creepy …
Dear Ms. Johnson:
 I’ve been a long time reader of yours. Pure Sin, Outlaw, the Braddock-Black series, are all on my keeper shelf. I’ve always maintained that you were writing erotic romance before those in charge of defining sub genres came forth with that label. I’ve read you long beyond when I think that I should have stopped, thinking that the next book will be a return to the glory days. Even though the last few contemporaries were weak on plot and characterization, I eagerly anticipated this title because it was a historical. Perhaps the malaise in writing was due to the time period rather than anything else. I could not have been more wrong.
Fitz Monckton, Duke of Groveland, is easily recognizable to any Susan Johnson fan. He’s impossibly rich, impossibly arrogant, impossibly sexy, with a bed more full of girls than Hugh Hefner in his prime (both physically and monetarily). What he wants, he gets. Rosalind St. Vincent is an independent but poor widow who owns a bookshop at the corner of a group of buildings in Mayfair that Fitz wants to develop and turn into Monckton Row …
For readers not familiar with Harlequin/Silhouette’s various imprints (completely understandable because I confuse them myself), the Nocturne Bites are the paranormal novella line. Often times, they’re related to full-length Nocturne novels released around the same time. That’s not always the case, but it’s something to keep in mind if you peruse what’s on sale.
Blackout by Linda Thomas-Sundstrom
 Despite some weak worldbuilding and questionable set-up, I found myself liking this. I think it’s because of the relationship dynamics between the couple. Dylan Landau is a Deputy D.A. who comes from a family of werewolves. Don’t you hate it when that happens? Anyway, I’m not quite sure how the werewolf thing works in this world because there are hereditary ones like Dylan, but there are also made ones too.
Dylan had hoped he’d escape the family curse but he discovered six months ago that wouldn’t be the case. Ever since he’s wandered the streets, trying to hide the fact that he’s become a werewolf. I’m still not sure how walking Miami’s busy streets at night equals hiding but I guess if he didn’t, he would never have met the heroine, Dana Delmonico. Dana is a police officer …
Dear Ms. Johnson:
 I’ve re-read some of your backlist titles so many times, the cover fell off the paperback copies. I think you were writing erotic romance before erotic romance was even a commonly used term. What I loved most was the lush beauty of the writing that some might even accuse of being ponderous at times. Yours were books I tended to savor, reading each word carefully to fully imbue myself in the experience. In recent years, though, my experience with your books have been less than satisfactory as you moved more to writing straight contemporaries to the point that I actually stopped reading them.
I bought this because I wanted to read another Susan Johnson historical. I wondered whether part of my problem with these books were my intimacy with your writing. The plot, the rhythm, the texture of the characters, their conflicts, were all done by you before and done better. The emotional journey in At Her service was so similar to previous books that it made for tedious reading. To a new reader, someone who has never …
 Unlaced, as you might have guessed by the number of authors in the title of the post, is an anthology. It is an erotic romance anthology of three contemporary stories and one paranormal contemporary story. I admit that I did not read the last story by Denise Rossetti. I just haven’t been in the mood from something otherwordly and thus I skipped it but since I did read 3/4 of the anthology, I felt it was sufficient to give a review.
The Ties That Bind by Jaci Burton. Dear Ms. Burton:
I’ve always enjoyed your anthologies and this entry is no exception. Lisa and Rick Mitchell were irresponsible high school sweethearts whose youthful love and lust led to Lisa getting pregnant at age 16. Lisa and Rick tried to get married but because of their youth, their marriage fell apart and they divorced when their daughter, Kayla, was three. They remained a tightly knit family with Rick providing what he could to Lisa and their daughter until Lisa got an education and began providing for herself. But now there daughter is graduating and Rick has met someone …
Dear Ms. Kery:
I read Wicked Burn, your first NY Published book coming out December 1 and it interested me enough to look at your backlist. Â I purchased two titles from Whiskey Creek Press: Tricked Truths and Gateway to Heaven. Â I’m glad that Tricked Truths wasn’t my introduction to your work because I wonder whether I would have read another.
Tricked Truths
 Tricked Truths has a Linda Howard-ish feel to the conflict but I don’t recall Howard’s heroines being so passive. Â Grace Jamison left Everly over twelve years ago with accusations of conspiring to murder her elderly husband, Evan Burnett, flapping at her back. Â For some reason, Grace returns and brings her 12 year old son with her, hoping that he won’t suffer the taint of past gossip. Â She moves into the Widow’s Cottage, a small house left to her by her husband, which is situated on the estate owned by Trick Burnett, her husband’s first son. Â Trick does not want Grace at the Widow’s Cottage, in part because he burns for her and doesn’t like his physical attraction toward her. Â He also believes that she cheated while married to his father and that she is …
Dear Ms. Callen:
 I read a book of yours for the first time almost a year ago. It was charming and light although not very memorable. I went on to read one more of your books before this one. I jumped at the chance to review Never Dare a Duke and anticipated another enjoyable reading experience. However, my intense dislike of the story and of the female protagonist, a dislike which I have rarely before felt for a romance heroine, left me wondering how this book could get published. To really discuss why I disliked this book so much, I’ve contained quite a few spoilers. Readers should beware.
You set the stage early on for Miss Abigail Shaw’s quest to ruin a man’s reputation. It seems that her father’s newspaper is losing some of its readership and may be in danger of shutting its doors. In a desperate attempt to sell more papers, Abigail decides to uncover some vague sort of scandal that occurred years ago involving Christopher Cabot, the duke of Madingley. Forget the fact that her father is an honorable man who refuses to publish gossip articles based upon speculation. Forget …
Dear Ms. Wiest,
 “Apache Eyes” is the second novella from you I’ve read. And it’s totally different from the first one. Not just because it’s a f/f historical but because it lacks the black humor that made “Practical Purposes” such a joy to read. But that’s okay, as it shows that you’re not just a one note author.
The novella starts strongly with intense descriptions that put me in the heart of the action. Jenny Barden is alone, in the heat of a blazing Arizona day, burying her slime of a husband who was killed during an Apache raid on the Barden homestead. Jenny, raised in the area, had been aware of the fact that an Apache band was watching the place and had hidden, thus escaping her husband’s fate. But she knows she’s still being watched and senses it’s a woman doing the watching.
Miakoda, daughter of Cochise, saves Jenny a second time by tending to her heatstroke before both yield to the intense attraction between them. But they have to overcome many barriers to their long-term future since there’s no love lost between the Apaches fighting to retain their homeland …
Dear Ms. Steel:
 It was with avid curiosity that I read your February release, Honor Thyself, feeling quite out of the loop for not having read any of your previous work. After finishing the book, I was less curious but a bit confused, and so I went to Amazon to see what other readers thought of the book. For probably the first time, ever, I found myself in agreement with the vast majority of the 20-something reviews there (with the exception of Harriet Klausner and one or two others): in short, the book was a real disappointment.
At 50, American movie star Carole Barber is finally starting to come out of the grieving fog her husband’s untimely death gathered around her, but she still can’t get past the writer’s block that threatens her first book-writing effort. Unsettled and unfocused, Carole ventures back to Paris, a city she loves but has not visited since she broke off with her married lover 15 years ago, to see if she can find that big idea that continues to elude her. She tells her conscientious assistant not to worry about her – that she plans to do some traveling …
Dear Ms. Summers:
 I know you’ve written books for Ellora’s Cave, Kensington and Harlequin, but I was unfamiliar with your work. I was excited to read Red due, in part, to its post apocalyptic setting and I was intrigued by the idea of: “What if Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf turned out to be the same person?” However, as much as I wanted to like this book and its promising female protagonist, I just could not.
Gina Santiago, or “Red”- because of all the blood she spills-is a member of the International Police Tactical Team. IPTT is an elite law enforcement group designed to maintain order within and between the various Republics that make up this futuristic world. While on a patrol mission that goes awry, Gina literally sniffs out the dead body of a severely mauled woman. All signs point to it being a wild animal attack, but Gina has a feeling that there’s something more going on. She requests leave from the team Commander and goes to the nearest town of Nuria to begin her own independent investigation.
Morgan Hunter is the local sheriff …
Dear Ms. Bennet:
 I have to tell you up front that you will not want to read this review, not that I think you will, but in case you have a Google Alert set up, this is something that you should just delete.
/start rant (there will be spoilers and maybe a little blood)
This book is an amalgamation of horrible romance cliches that are designed to make women look stupid and romanticize disgusting male behavior. It meets or exceeds every stereotypical thought someone outside of romance has about the romance genre and leads to wrong generalizations about the people who read romance.
Let’s start out with Chapter One where our brown sparrow of a heroine, Antoinette, is ruminating about being sent to a country estate from an unscrupulous man. During her ruminations about this she takes the time to think about the fact that even though she wears subdued outer clothing she has a weakness for sexy lingerie. WTF? This chick is supposed to be worried about escaping from the clutches of a villainous man and she spends time monologuing about her underwear?
But, of course, we have to know that she likes …
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