Big Changes to Dear Author, Goodbye For Now
01. Apr, 2009 | by Jane |
104 Comments
Print This Post
Dear Author’s third anniversary is almost here on April 4, 2009. It seems like it has been far longer than three years. I’ve met so many people and learned so much about the industry in such a short time. Through the blog and through my ventures out into the world of publishing, I’ve been fortunate to meet a number of publishers, editors and authors.
It came to my attention that I could marry my love for books with my legal knowledge. In the past, I’ve been able to play matchmaker, in a low key way, with authors and editors. Several people at RWA last summer suggested that perhaps I should look at opening my own literary agency. My life was such that I felt like I couldn’t take a risk but my my circumstances have changed and I am excited to announce that I am opening Dear Author Literary Agency. I’ve signed up a couple of authors including emerging talent, Ann Aguirre whose latest novel Blue Diablo is in stores now and an exciting new organization called International Consortium of Heroes. I know that the latter sounds a little far fetched, but this organization is a group devoted to the furtherance of romance and romance hero tropes. It’s an amazingly interesting group of guys and their writings will be fascinating.
I’m thrilled to be evaluating literary contracts and pushing for better terms with publishers for our authors. Under the new Dear Author Literary Agency, we’ll be able to leverage our legal background to achieve superior deals. Further, we will actually be able to advise authors on exactly what each term within the contract means and how we can circumvent those clauses to our benefit. So few agencies can provide that level of service.
One of the things that I see, too often, are authors not being properly compensated for their works. I’ve got some great ideas about monetizing new streams of incomes for authors by leveraging the emerging technologies. But old ideas still have their purpose. For example, one new client we signed at DA Lit Agency found that their work was wrongfully being published in another’s book. We immediately filed a petition for damages and a request for temporary permanent injunctive relief. You can read more about the legal matter here. The authors are well known to this community and I am sorry to have to subject them personally to this matter but when faced with the facts and the law, these two authors refused to back down. It was really a personal tragedy for me. Sarah and Candy, authors of Beyond Heaving Bosoms, have decided to copy, against legal advice, literary work of another group of individuals, work that was private, confidential, and copyrighted. We are confident that the law will stand behind us despite what Simon & Schuster might claim.
Because I am going to be agenting and because of the time commitments involved in starting a new business, I will no longer be able to keep up with my obligations here at Dear Author. I wish that I could devote more time to winding up the business here and creating sufficient content to make sure that Dear Author will flourish, but I have confidence that the others can take up the void.
In any event, April 4th will be my last day of blogging here. I hope that you will all join me at the Dear Author Literary Agency site: dalitagency.com. I’ll be bringing over some of our favorite features here such as the First Page and First Sale series. Additionally, every post that I’ve written here will be exported over to the DA Literary Agency site in the near future.
It’s been a lovely time with the community here and I can’t wait to see the growth of a new community at DA Lit Agency site.
Author of This Post
Open Threads at Dear Author. Want to know what new releases are out this month and what readers are excited about reading? Check out the threads below. 
I have very strong feelings about your allegations against The Bitches, but I’ll take it to email!
Ok, you DID have me going for a few minutes– enough to read more about the ultimate Internet girl group flame war. Then I remembered the date. OMG this was good. Good I tell you! Congrats!
And here I was hoping you would open an uber publishing company … oh well …
Ermm, I know it’s the first of April … but I am too stupid, is there an agency now or not. … Sorry, not my brightest day, today.
But….what about Dear Author? I don’t know that we can keep it going, Jane. You’re so much the backbone of this website. I can’t believe you wouldn’t tell us about this, give us some sort of advanced warning. I’m just stunned.
Again me …. hahahaha, still laughing. Beyond The Codpiece. ROTFL.
Thanks for giving us advanced warning, you bitch.
Hi-larious! I love it.
Heh heh. Good one.
My fav:
If it wasn’t a joke you’d still probably be better than some folks I’ve come across over the years who claimed to be agents for romance authors. Just sayin’
*giggling*
Well done!
Wow, you guys were prepared! That was awesome.
When I read the lawsuit letter about the heros’ trade secrets and the ICV my first thought was, there must be a lot of loose screws.
But with Nipplegate, Monicagate and so many other gates in mind where the ordinary European was stunned about the land of unlimited impossibilities – who knows?
So I googled, found the ICH website, Smartbitches reply but I didn’t find the ICV villains and then todays date hit me! Hahaha!
You have really put a lot of effort into this!
*giggles* Good thing you have Lord Perry on your side.
I love how much you committed to selling this. Brilliant! lol
Holy lolcats, you almost gave me a heart attack. :-)
Well done!
OK – You had me going good there!! It wasn’t until I started reading the comments the AHA light went on!!
Very Good One!!
Heh…heh…. you girls kill me.
*wipes away copious tears of laughter*
Uggh, I almost had a panic attack, lol.
Ok, today is April Fools Day. Not buying it.
Love the new page! *snicker*
You know you’re going to get lots of submissions, right? April Fish or not, there are authors hunting down agencies as we speak!
Yeah, what Jia said!
Oh, and do you think you could take a look at the ms for my newest non-fiction-fiction? (I’d really like it to be ready before Oprah’s Christmas give-away-the-kitchen-sink show)
Very funny!!!!!!!!!! You had me to for awhile — Happy April 1st Everyone.
Jane,
What a brilliant concept. I have always thought that increasing a revenue stream by suing your readers was the pinnacle of intelligence in terms of marketing! But you are the first literary agency to take that principle to its logical conclusion by suing the publishers. Genius! They will all be too scared to reject any manuscripts you submit.
I salute you and your marketing chutzpah.
Dear Miss Litte,
What can happens when you throw pearls before swine?
I’d like you to consider my 250,000 word erotic romance “Pigs Get Rich”. Penelope Swooner is a big breasted, hot heroine who can wield a Glock like the pros. When a mysterious mystery mucks up her vacation from the rigors of being a Navy Seal, she dives in feet first to solve it. Too bad Blade Buckley keeps distracting her from the details.
Blade Buckley is a hunky private dick with more than just Penelope’s side arm in his sights. Their investigations cross as they try to discover why Pig farmers are suddenly dropping off like bacon at a church breakfast.
I’m a member of RWA and my husband read this manuscript. He said I should totally query you.
Yours Truly,
Jennifer McKenzie
Good one! :-) And MAN you put a lot of work into this one! I clicked on a link or two, just to see how far you’d gone!
WELL DONE!! I was totally fooled and upset about it all! You did an excellent job on pulling this one together!!
Tired of us mean girls ripping your deathless prose? Check out the new “Fluffy Bunny Reviews.”
Ladies, bravo….ya’ll had me going there for one hot minute! :-) Too damn funny! I haven’t been punk’d that in a long time. My hat off to you all. ;-) I luv the fluffy bunny reviews…lol.
Hold on. My friend Randy “ShottGunn” Biggs, the CEO of Bank Slush Inc. on Wall Street, said he signed on with you for his memoir entitled Raising Smart Bitcheseses Children on a Pistachio Pudding Budget. Was he drinking too much absinthe or did you guys not have time to get his info up on the site? His forty-two children want to know because they where hoping the book would sell and Poppa would give them some money for summer camp, which starts this weekend. Please. Don’t disappoint the children.
Wow, this is awesome. I especially love the ICH site.
Impressive. Most impressive.
>/Vader voice<
Fantastic! Thank you for starting my day with a smile. Especially the ICH.
What a brilliant, not to mention hysterical, prank. Did the bitches know in advance? It would have been amazing to see their reactions.
If you get any real queries will you let us know?
Beyond the Codpiece was such a great book! I’m so glad you signed the author!
Well done! We’ve been Pwned by the masters!
(and OMG- the ICH site! The gentlemens’ *snort* discriptions- hell, even their e-mail addys. Teh Funny x 10!)
I have a pain in my side, and my cat is looking at me like I’ve lost my mind. I do have a question though- where the heck to you find the time ????
@Marcia I did not get it. All envelopes are weighed, though, before opening to see if the Crane 110 lb Cove Wove was used. Tell him to buy using our Amazon link and resend. Sounds fabulous.
@Jennifer McKenzie Please send on 110 lb Crane Cove Wove paper purchased through our amazon link. I think I have a buyer for your work. If not, we can always pursue other options.
@Courtney Milan Thank you! I have always thought the RIAA was just one step away from true genius. It seemed like a natural conclusion to reach out to publishers in this manner. The court system is simply one tool in a whole chest full of methods authors should use to get their books published and be compensated in an appropriate manner.
@joanne Only if it is a true non fiction fiction memoir. Please send on Crane 110lb paper purchased through our Amazon link. Thanks!
@Sarah Frantz I told you about it a week ago. Twice. You forgot. Twice. Sorry.
@MichelleR Someone has to stand up against tyranny and I’m just the girl to do it.
@Jia Stay classy Jia. I’m sure that anyone reading your comment can’t imagine why I wouldn’t want to continue to operate here.
lolololol!!! It really is a good thing you use your powers for good.
Sadly
or is it fortunately, I believed it up until you brought Sarah and Candy in to it and then I was like . . . . . . nah . . . . . . .Wow, nice one! Best April Fools joke I’ve run across in a while.
(I love that the ICH website is run by Michael Tyson, very funny.)
Thank goodness I finally get to write the book of my hart. *hair-toss* I had a dream about a beautiful white stag in a forest, who turned into a sexy male, who then totally deflowered this virgin widow. I knew then I had to write this book. It was just SO POWERFUL.
Jane, I’ll be submitting my 1000 page autobiography to you imediately for you to represent. I am the NEXT NORA ROBERTS!!!!!!! and teh TRUE story my wild life of unrelenting hedonism is sure to make the New York Times Best Seller list, debutting at number one!!!!! LOL. I’ll be sending the manuscript via individual emails w/ one of the 100 chapters attached to each one and then I will mail you the printed copy, two. I know you won’t mind that I used my dot matrix printer with my old ribbon. because I needed to use up that old stack of perforated paper and the ribbon. I am green, you know. Wchich is why I’m not sending a SASE envelop.
Please send me your contract so you can start sending my masterpiece to Harlequin, HQN, Dorchester, and TOR. I know they will get in a big bidding war and I’ll make as much money as JK Rowling. Because my story is TRUE!!!!. None of that magic and stuff.
I know you don’t want to miss this opportunity so get busy!
**************
Briliant job, DA and SBTB! You guys rock my socks off!
@Silver James OMG – I was just talking on twitter how I think I can use the litigation process more effectively as a sword for underappreciated authors. Am thinking of filing a suit against Nora Roberts and her publisher based on creating a monopoly on the bestseller list and in the hearts and minds of authors and creating an unfair restraint of trade. Please contact me off comments. !!!!
@Ann Aguirre I loved your story. My ladysoftness was weeping creamy thoughts at the first scene.
Gah, you totally had me going and my heart just fell. *thwaps you* I’m such a sucker, jeez.
@Jane: Whatever. If there’s someone with a problem, it’s you, not us. The readers here have no idea what kind of shit we have to put up with. At least we don’t have to deal with your bullshit anymore!
Damn, I was hoping we were finally rid of Jane. She’s such a prima donna.
Okay, I was totally sucked in. My heart damn near stopped over the SB thing.
Verra, verra, clever!
Man! Until I read that cease-and-desist letter, I was thinking this was all for real. But…psych! Happy April Fools!
Brilliant. Genius. I’m thinking class action and punitive damages. No one should be that beloved, successful, and good and get away with it. ;-)
@Jane: I KNEW I wasn’t on some of the DA email loops. You guys are keeping me out of stuff because you don’t like teh buttsecks. I’m going over to SBTB, where they like teh ghey way more AND they swear. I’m done with ALL you guys!
I think Robin/Janet knew about this, dammit. She was getting so sneaky on Twitter.
OMG! You so got me. Please. Just don’t sue me!
@Julie James: Sadly, there is nothing like quoting one’s misstatements to make them appear so clear. I meant, hearts and minds of readers. I was thinking that your character Taylor, in Just the Sexiest Man Alive, she could help me in pursuing this litigation. She’s a tiger in the courtroom.
Oh, man. That was cruel. I feel like such a sucker. Congrats?
Sarah’s last message last night had me thinking she was dying or her husband decided he was THE BOSS and was not gonna let her do her book signing appearances LOL
Applause to Jane and Sarah! Best April fools EVER!
@Jane – ROFL… I think “authors” is apropos, too! LaNora has cowed us all! If you need a second chair for the litigation, I’ll volunteer the DH. He loves tilting at windmills and will happily work pro bono.
Fabulous. Second-best April Fool prank ever. The best prank was completely ruined for me when the nurse said, ‘No, Mrs. W., You really are in labor. You’re going to have a very big baby real soon.’ She was correct.
Unfortunately, you have caused me to injure myself laughing, so you’ll be hearing from my attorney – just as soon as we figure out which party has the deepest pockets. The April Fool baby is now in college and costing me a mint.
Oh – have new sale!!
1. In order to recoup legal costs, Sarah Wendell has agreed to sign with DALA. It’s a “licking fucking sucking dripping drumming darkness” a paranormal erotic menage romance (it’s excerpted in the back of Beyond Heaving Bosoms)
2. to Heather Osborn at Tor, “The Angel and Angela,” under the pseudonym Sarabeth Tagen Brown, about a woman who develops the ability to see everyone’s past lives, and the angel sent from heaven to kill her
Dear Jane,
I’m hoping you can help. I originally signed with Rumpelstilzchen, LLC. My agent promised me that he could spin my story into gold and he did. It was amazing!
I’ve been on the FairytalesRUs bestseller list for the last 52 weeks. But the thing is that all these added fees he’s charging are bankrupting me and now he wants my firstborn child. Which is rather funny when you think about it, because if he’d have asked me last week when the child was throwing a tantrum because that stupid golden goose (did I mention that RC, my agent–that’s what he’s liked to be called–got me that goose as part of my advance?) wouldn’t stop looking at my darling brat and then added insult to injury by wanting him to play. Right then and there I would’ve gladly handed the little prince charming over. But now that RC’s demanding my little prince charming, well there’s just no way.
RC says that if I can figure out his real name that he’ll consider renegotiating my contract but each time I discover the alias or rather legal name change he had in other countries: Martinko Klingáč in Slovakia or Tom Tit Tot in England, he says that I haven’t dug deep enough.
Yesterday, I thought I had him. I figured out the legal name change here in the States but it’s some damn princely symbol. But nooooooo….RC says that having the symbol isn’t enough, I have to be able to say his name if I want to save destiny’s child from his clutches. How the heck am I supposed to say his name when his name is some unpronouncable glyph?
So do you think you can help?
Signed
Totally Suggesting Tye-Dyed Locks for the next big fashion look
FTRU best selling author of The Impossible Task, The Hard Bargain and The Spinning Wheel
Jeeze – I almost had a heart attack for a moment, especially when I saw there really was another website. Sometimes I’m just so gullible. You’re better than my brother and father combined – and believe me, that’s a very big compliment.
@Totally Suggesting Tye-Dyed Locks: This sounds like we have a two fold issue. First the publication of your non fiction fiction memoir which, as I stated before on the DALA site, is one of the hottest sub genres around. Second, the lawsuit against your former agent. I’m happy to sue him regardless of his unpronounceable name. The fact that he is changing the terms unilaterally might give you the option to declare the contract breached and seek representation elsewhere.
Send me your query on the 110 lb Crane’s Cove Weave Wave through my Amazon purchase link.
You’ll have my query shortly although I’m not sure about the 110lb Crane’s Cove Weave Wave. How about something spun out of gold instead or perhaps goose feathers?
TSTL
hee.
Does the logo on the sword at the ICH site mean anything? I don’t speak headsectionese.
Jane, as sad as it will be to see you leave, I know you will blow the competition out of the water!!
@Totally Suggesting Tye-Dyed Locks: No, I am sorry we do not accept queries etched in gold. 110 lb Crane paper only. Purchased through Amazon link. Can’t you read? #queryfail #queryfail #queryfail #queryfail
Blonde moment 7,165.
My mouth was hanging open as I was reading it. LOL
But, Jane, my story’s special and I already have a proven FairytalesRUs track record. Surely I should be able to move to the front of the line and pick and choose the rules I want to follow. Afterall, you couldn’t possible have meant for someone with a story like mine.
In fact, now that I think about it I’m kind of insulted that you’re even considering making submit me a query. Don’t you know how I am?
TSTL
@Jayne: I’m a prima donna? Let’s see how well you coordinate all the stuff that goes on here. Ha. Don’t come crying to me when things don’t run smoothly.
@Jia: When you point a finger at me, four point back at you.
@Totally Suggesting Tye-Dyed Locks: I’m sorry but I don’t think I’m the right agent for you. Please stop questioning my procedure. If you cannot follow the guidelines then I doubt you will be able to craft decent sentences.
@Maya M
I just looked up the motto on the sword and posted it over on Smart Bitches
Explicit leuctotem; da mihi potum
Work’s done. Where’s the beer?
You “Ha!” at me and I’ll “HAHAHA” back at you threefold. Do you know how many times I’ve re-edited your unending Tuesday lectures to the blogosphere? Fixed your links? Added book covers to reviews? I’m tired of it! Tired, I tell you!!!!!
I feel a flounce coming on….
@Jayne: Flounce away sister. At least I review romance books which is more that I can say about you, Bill Bryson humorist lover. You think people want more of your love for the civil war nattering?
Deer Autherz
I hopz u kin halp mee. Mai kirent agent waont selz my lotza werdz bukz ROHMNANZ 4 KITEHS reeten eentowrly in LOLspeek.
Youz weel selz eht 4 mee 4 beeg moneez plz?
emalz me plz nao.
kthxbai
I’m preparing my submission now! Question: Will the hero in my proposal need a release from the ICH?
@Carolyn Jewel It’s pro forma for publishers to ask for release. That’s the way that it has been done in the past.
You’re leaving? Awesome! That means the DA reviewers can now finally realise their dream of taking over the world through this web site. The dream of making everyone amend the first letter of their given name to J. Mary? Jary! Diana? Jiana! Susan? Jusan! Natalie? Jatalie! Rosalie? Josalie! Devon? Jevon! Helen? Jelen! Elizabeth? Jlizabeth! So many possibilities.
You’re a bitch, Jane! I’m starting to agree with Lanaia Lee about you. Hater, mean girl!
@Maili Jizabeth? Really? The world, it should fear.
I still can’t believe the work you put into this. Good job!
Jess
Jizabeth? Haf to agree with Jane on that one. Almost as bad as saying a heroine is either spunky or full of spunk. Check the British meaning of the word.
I applaud you on your efforts to fool. The websites and content priceless, but you lost me the moment you mentioned Ann Aguirre. Her agent rocks socks. You eat legal for breakfast, so it’s plausible, but no.
Dear Jane Litte,
As I am sure you are well aware, you may not trample upon others intellectual property in your selfish grab for literary power.
http://www.courtneymilan.com/ramblings/2009/04/01/dear-author-stop-violating-our-intellectual-property/
For shame!
@Reacherfan
Thx! Very funny. Though I’m surprised it wasn’t ‘ale’ or ‘mead’…
I’m having that put on my gravestone.
Please feel free to dig me up and sue.
And earlier I forgot to say Well Done Ladies!
Jane, how could you! Shame on you for recruiting us and then abandoning us to our own devices! Can’t you see that with you leaving, the rest of us are going to pieces here? Covering up our grief and sorrow with rage and bad manners? Please, Jane, don’t go! Or take me with you! I can be your slush pile reader.
I fell for it. lol. Good job!
Traitor!!!! Pull yourself together woman!!! I say good riddance!!!
If anyone can sue dead people and win, it’s Jane. I will be retaining her legal services in exchange for reviews.
Sounds good! I’d read it!
Hilarious and well done. Thanks for letting us get in on the fun, re: The Buckillionaire’s Virgin Lawyer. Oh, and thanks for the check. ;)
Dear Agent,
My name is Kinky Venus (well, that’s not my real name, but it’s the one I want to use) and I’ve written a book that I know you’ll want to see. Think Emmanuelle meets Robin Hood, who is really a New Yorker. Teh finished book is just over 300,000 words and I wrote it by hand because I don’t believe in computers. It has taken me 20 years to write.
The story is set in the Middle Ages, and Robin comes across from NY to fight in the Crusades. He goes to the Holy Land, and after he thrashes the Arabs, he comes home to find that wicked Prince John has grabbed his land and his woman. Robin brings back his band of Merry Women, a band of kick-butt Amazons who demand sex as their payment.
The women attract men, and in between robbing the rich and giving it all away to the poor, they fight Prince John and attract a few men to join the band. Little John, who is really very large, converts Robin and he becomes gay in the second half of the book. When the Merry Women object, Robin orders them to perform orgies for him and John. The men join in and everybody is happy.
The story ends when they fight Prince John and his men, and force Prince John to resign in favour of one of the Merry Women, who becomes Queen. They then return to New York, where they find more problems to overcome in future books.
I have a history degree and I have researched the era thoroughly, so the book is sexy and historically accurate. My friends say this is the best book they have ever read. I’d like to know how you plan to sell it and where to, and when the film rights will be sold. This is only the first book. I plan to introduce Henry VIII and other well known characters from the Middle Ages into future books.
Wow, the organizational skills and time that went into this is awesome. It was truly lol-alicious!
Wow! You so totally had me going there for a while! (In my defence, it is the 2nd of April here right now!
Of all the days not to get to my blog list until evening! And to read SBTB first!! I’ll never know how I would have reacted to this post first thing in the a.m.
Brilliantly done, and well done everyone who played along and had fun with it. I’m going to spend the next hour following all the linkety links.