And it’s erotica of a…er…unusual kind. A beastly kind. Not for those looking for sweet m/m loving :)

Oh, very, very true. I should have mentioned that.

And it’s erotica of a…er…unusual kind. A beastly kind. Not for those looking for sweet m/m loving :)

Although this particular story is definitely more erotica than out and out romance.

My primary take away from Custom Ride was a) unbelievable in the closet guy i.e., he was prone to having sex in public places and going on “dates” with guys for someone who was trying to keep it hush hush.

And

Given that anal sex always has some element of pain, I would think a caring lover would want to be patient and that this shouldn’t be viewed as a generosity.

to say (and I asked Paul to comment from his own experience, in case I had it wrong) these may not be all that unbelievable.

BUT – you are absolutely within your right to say these elements, realistic or not, didn’t work for you as romance, or failed to convince you. It’s one of the things about this genre that realism != romantic a lot of the time.

I can’t say if it worked for me, as I haven’t read the story. I’ve read plenty of m/m and gay fiction which is undoubtedly true to life, but which left me completely cold. Sounds like that’s what happened here, and romance is about carrying the reader away. It’s not a documentary.

@Paul Bens what are you guys trying to convince me of? I didn’t find the story romantic or believable within my metrics. If it worked for you based on your differing experiences, great, but it didn’t for me.

=-) Not trying to convince. Didn’t mean it to come off that way. If it didn’t work for you, it didn’t. That’s ultimately the bottom line…if it doesn’t work for any particular reader it just doesn’t work them.

closeted men will do things which look absolutely insane to everyone else

Just speaking from my experience only, I find this to be true. I’m not sure why it is, but I’ve been approached in public situations (cottages, etc.) by more “straight” or closeted men than by gay men. And my ex who was deeply closeted used to cruise in public places all the time (which is one of the reasons he’s my ex).

Part of the attraction of cottaging appears to be the risk of being caught, and I have no doubt some closeted men subconsciously hope to have their secret exposed.

Again, I’ve found this to be true. Although I do think at times it isn’t necessarily about being caught as it is about some measure of surrendering control. Being closeted (from what I recall of those day…centuries ago now) for some is a very control oriented undertaking. You have to be so careful all the time so your secret doesn’t get out, that sometimes — logically or not — you have to find some way to release that control. Taking risks and cottaging I’ve found can often be about letting go of a control that can dominate your life. Also, I think cottaging is also sometimes specifically about “guaranteed no strings attached.” Living closeted, you still need that interaction and sexuality, but a long term thing isn’t possible. So, cottaging gives you a quick anonymous way to satisfy your needs, emotionally, and sexually, without engendering any long term issues that might threaten to out you. Of course, if you get busted, it creates a whole new set of problems.

Anal sex does not always hurt, I am reliably told. A little discomfort, maybe, but outright pain means you’re doing it wrong.

From my experience, that pretty much sums it up.

Again, from anecdotes, that degree of consideration is often lacking, especially from casual encounters – male-male sex is often a lot harder and nastier than women like to read about.

Hmmmm…I have to think about this one. I’m guessing that can be true, but as I’m not one for rough stuff, I dunno that I have a frame of reference. If it gets harder and nastier, I really am not all that interested. From viewing pr0n, I’d say that’s accurate, but then again pr0n isn’t the best yardstick. And from the limited casual sex I’ve had, there are some really, really aggressive guys out there. SOme in a scary way. =-)

And a considerate lover isn’t a given, regardless of the orientation. There are just as many straight men whose idea of foreplay is ‘Roll over, Ethel’ as gay men who think ‘biff boff, I just got off’ is a perfectly acceptable approach to sex.

Oh, so very true.