I just came across your posting and want to thank you for your kind words about “Something For the Pain.”

It means so much to find out that people find something of value in the book.

And yes, you’re right, Sally was brave to let me write the book. There were some things I half-way expected her to delete, but she didn’t. A friend said, I should’ve called it, “I Married a Goddess.” No argument there.

Again, thank you for your kind words about SFTP.

Paul

I will say that if you really want to become a physician, people need to carefully evaluate their reasons. The pay is less than fabulous, the amount of debt is astronomical, and you end up giving away a very large portion of your life with questionable return. I know that I question the value of my sacrifice sometimes when I see my high school friends married or with children. Meanwhile… I am still in training. My med school friends ask, what happened to our youth, where did our twenties go!!

And Leah, I agree with your husband about what fields he thinks are best. The only thing is with the way the economy and possibly the entire health care machine is going it might not be that way in a few more years. Even in my 3 years of residency the medical world changed a lot, primarily because of reimbursements. After my fellowship I will likely try to avoid private practice as much as possible because there is more time spent on filling out forms than on taking care of patients.

He said there was a pot that all the incoming interns contributed to at the beginning of the year (July) that would go to the first one who either 1) got his wife pregnant or 2) got pregnant herself. Generally it took until May for someone to claim the money

*gigglesnort* Somebody needs to write a non-fic book about hospital romances. Diamond rings have been flying around my medical center like popcorn lately. Four of our staff on my unit got married last month alone, and several more are engaged. Also, three women are preggers, and an equal amount of the guys have pregnant wives/girlfriends.

I don’t envy the surgeons, they have the rawest deal. I remember as a med student the surgery interns/residents were told they would only get 1 day off for a wedding-first marriage only, no time off for second marriages.

Brett said that when he interviewed at Duke for a 7yr residency (in 1989 or 90), the person he talked to declared with pride that no one who entered their program married was married by the time they finished.

Another person I know – gee, I seem to know a lot of doctors and nurses – went to med school at Duke. He said there was a pot that all the incoming interns contributed to at the beginning of the year (July) that would go to the first one who either 1) got his wife pregnant or 2) got pregnant herself. Generally it took until May for someone to claim the money.

And as for nurses–there is no one better than a good nurse. Doctors need you guys to survive, and if they’re smart, they’ll remember it.

Nurses, med techs, radiology techs….it takes a lot of people to get sick people well.

I recall in the PBS show that Keishon and Meljean mentioned that two or three of those interns the show followed were already divorced after only a few years of marriage.

I dated my husband when we were in high school, but didn’t hook up with him seriously until we were in our 30’s. I often wish I had married him much earlier, because I think that we missed so much time. I know residency really sucked and I think “I could have helped him” (cue the violins). But in reality, I know it would have been difficult, and at that age, I might have been a hindrance instead, particularly if the babies had shown up. Brett said that when he interviewed at Duke for a 7yr residency (in 1989 or 90), the person he talked to declared with pride that no one who entered their program married was married by the time they finished.

And as for nurses–there is no one better than a good nurse. Doctors need you guys to survive, and if they’re smart, they’ll remember it.

As a dr’s wife, you always have to realize that you and the kids will never, ever come first. If you make plans, someone out there who’s been nursing an inflamed appendix for three days will finally decide that maybe, just maybe, they need to go to the ER (by which time, it’s burst). You can’t even be mad about it either–because while your plans are trashed (or your house, or your nerves), that person might DIE, so you just suck it up and go on. And as reimbursements decline and liabilities increase, it’s not like the buckets-o-money are there anymore, either. Maybe for the older guys, but not for people coming in during the last 5-10 yrs.

Austin, as I said, is honest almost to a fault about the impact his job has had on his wife and family. And in his author’s note, he stated that their deal was that he could write whatever he wanted but she then got to read what he’d written and could cross out what she didn’t want to go in the book.

I don’t envy doctors’ spouses at all. If your spouse is any good at his/her job and has the compassion needed for the job – along with the bossing skills as you mentioned – then they’re going to be gone for huge chunks of your life. My doctor friend pulls down a good living but IMHO, she earns that money.

I recall in the PBS show that Keishon and Meljean mentioned that two or three of those interns the show followed were already divorced after only a few years of marriage.