After reading that same sex marriage is allowed in only 3 US states, I wonder about true freedom. Should it not be a right for all to attain marital status and thus the security of health insurance, SS benefits, veterans’ benefits, health insurance, Medicaid and hospital visitation? There are the additional financial issues of non-spousal estate tax, assumable retirement savings and pensions, maternity leave and family bereavement to be considered.

Miki, eleven U.S. states recognize common law partnerships with the same legality as marriage. It may interest you to know that domestic partnerships of both the same (2005 same-sex marriage became legal) and opposite sex are recognized in Canada, with varying provincial laws.

Aside on his mom: I have PF. I’ve had the conversation with my husband already.

Wow, Chrissy, I’m so sorry.

I’ve talked to my (gay) brother about this topic a lot lately. He and his husband have worn rings for almost a decade know, although the “ceremony” to exchange them was only personal. They’ve covered as many legal bases as they can by completing living wills, and regular wills, and powers of attorney giving each other the right to make decisions about each other and their belongings.

What’s so ironic to me is that so much of the resistance to gay *civil* marriage is *religious* in nature, and yet as it stands in most states, gay couples can have a *religious* commitment ceremony but not a *civil marriage ceremony. Part of the problem is clearly that for those who are not judges some form of religious ordination is necessary to perform a wedding, conflating the religious and civil aspects of the civil contract of marriage. But the irony is still pretty thick.

I’ve talked to my (gay) brother about this topic a lot lately. He and his husband have worn rings for almost a decade know, although the “ceremony” to exchange them was only personal. They’ve covered as many legal bases as they can by completing living wills, and regular wills, and powers of attorney giving each other the right to make decisions about each other and their belongings.

But it’s utterly ridiculous that they have to go through all this extra stuff that most Americans don’t consider until they’re much older. And there’s still that remote possibility that some loophole could be missed and they’d be overridden (if any of my relatives or his relatives felt so inclined, which to be fair, I don’t expect).

If Americans have a “moral” issue with same-sex marriage, then I say we need a renaming of the ceremony as it is performed in civil situations. If “marriage” is a moral imperative between one man and one woman, fine. So the ceremony performed by religious institutions can be called “marriages”. Those institutions can limit or define it however they like. They have that right. Separation of church and state also means that states should keep their noses out of religious matters.

But then the joining ceremony enacted by the civil authorities needs to have a different name and can be defined outside of “moral” (religious) expectations. The legal definition of this “union” (civil union, if you wish) would be for ALL Americans who wish to commit to one another and join their households legally and financially. Male-and-female, male-and-male, female-and-female - all alike. Equally recognized.

So go to the state for a civil union. And, if it is important to you, go to your religion of choice for your marriage. But that civil union should assign the same benefits and responsibilities to each couple, regardless of the sex of the chosen spouse.

In a country where many of the younger people I know are deciding against marriage and are “just” living together, I would expect them to be as interested in this outcome as the GLBT community. I’m old enough that I fear for my younger single (female) friends, because I worry they aren’t being legally protected in those cohabitation relationships.

I’d like to see this issue dealt with for ALL cohabbing couples, whether they choose to go further and “get married” or not.

Took me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting to see myself when I clicked the link.

I work for John McCain in a small grass roots capacity. I swear to gawd I would vote Obama no matter how much it hurt if he would stop copping out and say “I’ll end don’t ask don’t tell and push for an amendment recognizing marriages between all loving couples.”