Comments on: The Super Sizing of the Alpha Male

By: alphadominance

alphadominance — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 23:36:33 +0000

Being male, and not, therefore a reader of romance novels, I find this post intriguing. This trend(?) is clearly a case of an archetype, which is always taken to extremes. Think of an epic hero like Beowulf. These epic tales were not limited to either gender, yet their hero’s engage in clearly unlikely deeds such as swimming for days in icy arctic waters whilst defeating seamonsters and the like. Similarly the present-day male corollary could probably be defined as the bawdy insatiable porn-starlet with triple G cup implants. A sight to behold, but in the cold light of day not many of us men want women so disproportioned. The truth of the matter is that the fantasy world has always been disproportionate to reality. It is the extreme that tickles our fancy, not the mundane. Alpha males in real life do come in a variety of shapes and sizes, often they are pudgy, balding, or outwardly ignominous, but they have a certain quality to their bearing and are powerfully charismatic, such that they are irresistable nonetheless. Bill Clinton comes to mind, no Fabio he, but his wealth, status and confidence ensure that in the recesses of their minds many women would gladly have traded places with Monica. This then is the reality of life, the pin that burst the bubble of fantasy. The physical he-men are as likely to be your pool-boy as the alpha male of legend, and the alpha male might just as well be the toad as prince charming. It’s just difficult to get it all in one package. But then, it’s no easier to find a woman that embodies all the qualities that drive men crazy either and if you do there’s no guarantee that she’ll stand by you. Poor fare for fantasy novels though, so enjoy them for what they are, escape from the tedious monotony of real life.

Read more on the Alpha male: http://alphadominance.com

By: Angie

Angie — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 03:34:08 +0000

I haven’t read those particular books, but I’ve always had a problem with guys who treat the girl like a child “for her own good,” whether it was spanking her when she was being “unreasonable” about something, or whatever.

I remember this one book where the girl was pregnant and didn’t feel like eating breakfast, so the guy grabbed her and was forcibly mashing scrambled eggs against her gritted teeth because she “should” be eating “for the baby.” [eyeroll] Sorry, not at all my image of a desirable partner. I mean, I get that there are times when a woman (or a man) might not be acting in their own best interests, but someone who claims to love them romantically should respect them enough as an adult to let them make their own choices, even if they’re not the best ones. (Especially, like in the case of the book where he’s trying to force-feed her, where it’s just a matter of opinion, ’cause seriously, I don’t care how pregnant you are, skipping one meal isn’t going to hurt anything.)

I just can’t see relationships like that working in any kind of a healthy way. If one partner thinks he (or she) has an absolute veto or override on the other’s behavior, and is willing to use force? Umm, no. :/

Angie

By: Jane

Jane — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 03:21:34 +0000

Absolutely feel free to comment on any thread. I actually get tired of Eve’s self destructive nature and Roarke’s then subsequent attempts to “save her”. I think, though, it’s part of their routine and how Roarke shows his love for her. But I can see where this would be bothersome.

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 03:13:21 +0000

Another favourite alpha hero is Roarke (in Death series, JD Robb) (although, as much as I love these books and characters, the things revealed about his past in Vengeance in Death (hoping not to provide spoilers here)icked me out a bit; not so much that he had taken lives, but the manner of it. I thought it was more villain (serial killer) than hero and I still don’t quite know how Eve reconciled that – perhaps, like me, she just doesn’t think about it!).

I have to say, I love these books, but I’m always a bit squicked out when Roarke physically forces a painkiller down his wife’s throat or drugs her drink to get her to sleep when she’s overtired. I get that she will destroy herself to “stand for the dead,” I get that he protects her from enemies without and within, but … ew.

Am I the only one? Nobody I’ve discussed the books with before is bothered by this. (And sorry to revive a dead thread, I hope that’s not verboten here.)

By: Wendy

Wendy — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 16:14:58 +0000

I really liked this post. As a strong, independent lady who is also married to an alpha male… most of these characterizations make me really annoyed. My alpha man doesn’t act like any of these. Every now and then he forgets and acts a bit the brute, which is when he needs a strong woman to cock an eyebrow at him and say, “oh, really?”

For some reason, many women believe that in order for them to be strong, men have to be weak, and that strong men must be jerks. In the US, I see more & more effeminate men. Or the portrayal of men as not being masculine. It is kind of disturbing. I want a REAL MAN … and it isn’t a threat to me at all. Because I’m a REAL WOMAN.

By: Chrissy

Chrissy — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 20:45:19 +0000

I’ve been saying forever that most people trying to write Alphas have never met one.

A true Alpha doesn’t need to be a bully craphead. He leads because it would never occur to anyone not to follow. It’s a given. He’s head of the pack because he SHOULD be and doesn’t need to intimidate anyone because his superiority is THERE.

And I’m ridiculously tired of the response “it’s FICTION.” I have this niggling suspicion that people who defend bad fiction with no basis in reality whatsoever live lives of fiction. Good fiction doesn’t need to be defended. The willing suspension of disbelief comes naturally because it FEELS natural to the story.

And frankly, the fact that some adult women have dismissed criticisms of the Twilight series because they’re “fiction,” in spite of the fact that they send TERRIBLE messages to young readers sickens me.

By: Kaitlin

Kaitlin — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 05:19:03 +0000

After reading this entry, I’m nodding my head. I read the Twilight series for Jacob, not Edward. Edward just skeeved me out from the very beginning.

As for the height of the hero, for me personally I like ‘em tall. That’s b/c I’m 6′1″ and like the idea of looking up at someone. However, I do have issues with the super-sized man who is 6′8″ and built like a tank. I do not find brawny men sexy at all. I like long, lean muscle with that lovely v-taper. But again, that’s me. :)

I like the term gamma male, because it encompasses the good aspects of both an alpha and a beta male. Can make for very interesting men. :)

And as for the paranormal that I’m working on? He’s an Alpha (because he’s a wolf), but he’s also a good man. *sigh* My favorite.

By: Julia Sullivan

Julia Sullivan — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 18:56:39 +0000

Here’s the thing, though: If we’re going to go on the “wolf pack” model, then we should remember that alpha males pretty much only mate with alpha females and vice-versa.

Way too many of the supposedly “alpha males” in romance these days are more like bull walruses, who intimidate the females and juveniles as well as the other bulls. That’s not how alpha wolves, male or female, roll.

By: handyhunter

handyhunter — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 17:00:24 +0000

I respond strongly to the capable leader, the top dog.

Me too. I think competence is a good thing, even if it’s only in one area of their lives that they’re that secure (hi Scott Summers). And a guy who is so insecure that he has to manage the heroine (and everyone else) isn’t really an alpha anyway.

When did ‘alpha’ = obnoxiously domineering and creepy?

By: Jane

Jane — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 14:40:22 +0000

One thing that I wanted to comment about is that I do enjoy the alpha male. I respond strongly to the capable leader, the top dog. I think that’s almost part of our beast, so to speak. What I don’t want to see so much of is the over exaggeration of the alpha male or the use of certain “calls” to our collective romance consciousness rather than a full fleshing out of the character (beyond this size, his clothing preferences, etc.) Just asking for a greater variety, I suppose.