The Worst Prose in the World Is Rewarded

Oh, so many snarky comments to be made in reference to past published work, but I’ll refrain. The winner of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is 41 year old Garrison Spik.

Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped “Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.”

In the romance category, we have this priceless gem:

Bill swore the affair had ended, but Louise knew he was lying, after discovering Tupperware containers under the seat of his car, which were not the off-brand containers that she bought to save money, but authentic, burpable, lidded Tupperware; and she knew he would see that woman again, because unlike the flimsy, fake containers that should always be recycled responsibly, real Tupperware must be returned to its rightful owner.

Jeanne Villa
Novato, CA

Read more purple prose and bad fiction entries here.

JaneJane is a long time romance reader whose passion is, you guessed it, reading. Jane also does not like to talk about herself in the third person, but apparently this is the way that this biography thing works (although in a true biography, someone else would be writing this blurb). Anyway, currently Jane loves urban fantasy authors Patricia Briggs and Ilona Andrews. She's really excited about this year's crop of historicals including Joanna Bourne's The Spymaster's Lady and Sherry Thomas' Private Arrangements and the upcoming Loretta Chase Her Scandalous Ways. She's looking for a good contemporary author. Email her with a recommendation! Email this author | All posts by Jane

One comment to “The Worst Prose in the World Is Rewarded”

  1. 1

    Love the award but for the romance category, what man ever would know the difference between off brand and ‘true’ Tupperware?

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