This could be /anything/. There’s nothing here that zings me and makes me think “WOW I’ve got to read this!” Which is, I think, just the query itself – because this sort of thing is totally my bag, baby.

And IMO you don’t really have to state that the relationship is m/f. I think that’s the ‘default’ for NY publishing. Anything else and you should probably state it, tho.

/Opinion

In the face of a terrorist attack, two strangers are forced to make the right choice and reveal natural abilities that are much more than human.

What is it about the terrorist attack that forces two strangers (inspiring yet another question not answered later: are they of the same race, differing races, warring factions, etc) to make the right choice (right, by what standards)?

The gifted telepath and the warrior king find they have bigger problems than saving the world.

What problems? Human reaction? Who do they need to save the world from? Those terrorists?

Drawn together by honor, bound by genetics, surviving plunges them into an intimate relationship and triggers the return of a race known as Keepers.

Unclear, but with fascinating potential: Why are they bound by genetics? What kind of honor? Who are they trying to survive against? And is it their relationship that triggers the return of the Keepers?

Heather is the woman Alex would have pursued if they’d been given that freedom.

Names should have been mentioned up front. Maybe even a bit more background about who and what they are. Also…why doesn’t he have the freedom to pursue her? Who is controlling them?

Now she is the lover he will defend. Survival of the species comes at a price and Alex will make any choice to ensure Heather is not the one to pay it.

Be more specific. Survival of the human species, their species (assuming they are part of the same species)? Why would Heather have to pay the ultimate price? Is she a target of the Keepers?

Anyway, not that I’m an expert on query letters, but it seems to me that you might be better off organizing this like a term paper — thesis, supporting arguments, followed by a conclusion. Once you answer/clarify some basic questions, I think you’ll have yourself a winner. The premise is great!

In the face of a terrorist attack, two strangers are forced to make the right choice and reveal natural abilities that are much more than human.

Heather is the woman Alex would have pursued if they’d been given that freedom. Now she is the lover he will defend.

These two sentences/facts kind of contradict one another don’t they?

Need more story, more intimacy than fact. What is the focus of the book? The plot? Or the relationship? I’d say decide on that and then go from there writing the query. If it’s the romance, how do they get through this together? What are they up against? Again, intimacy versus facts.

Also, I see plenty of opportunity to tighten up the writing. Take the first two sentences, “AT ANY PRICE is a contemporary paranormal with a strong erotic romance. The word count is 97,000.” Instead, the author could write, “AT ANY PRICE, a 97,000 word paranormal erotic romance, is the first of a three book series.” Clear and concise.

surviving plunges them into an intimate relationship and triggers the return of a race known as Keepers

I’m confused. Are they the equivalent of Adam and Eve and repopulated the Earth? Or was the sexing so great and magical it ripped a hole in the space-time continuum/opened an interdimensional portal/created a space bridge, thereby allowing the Keepers to cross over?

surviving plunges them into an intimate relationship and triggers the return of a race known as Keepers.

The title reminds me of a Harlequin Presents. Doesn’t sound paranormal.

Congrats on your other successes and good luck!

All in all, it’s kind of interesting, but too vague.

Heather is the woman Alex would have pursued if they’d been given that freedom. Now she is the lover he will defend. Survival of the species comes at a price

again, just woolly. It doesn’t give any hints of what the story is about, at all. And repeating the tag line just makes it sound like a movie trailer.

~Drawn together by honor, bound by genetics, surviving plunges them into an intimate relationship and triggers the return of a race known as Keepers. ~

This sentence structure makes ’surviving’ what is drawn together and bound by. Maybe: ‘As *they* are drawn together, etc.’ Then end the sentence at relationship before it becomes overlong. Change to ‘This intimacy (if I’m reading it correctly) triggers the return, etc.’