Comments on: Query Saturday: No. 1 Brokeback 1919

By: Just when you thought my query posts had ended… « Shannon Yarbrough

Just when you thought my query posts had ended… « Shannon Yarbrough — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 17:23:57 +0000

[...] Just when you thought my query posts had ended… Thanks to my friends at a clever blog called Speak Its Name, I came across this post called Query Saturday at DearAuthor.com. [...]

By: Shannon Yarbrough

Shannon Yarbrough — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 17:23:03 +0000

Eh, definitely a little long for a manuscript about this subject matter. An editor will fix that.

I think phrases like “to live life on his own terms” and “struggling to cope with life in the aftermath” are a little too generic and sound like a high school book report.

And I agree with Jane, the last part makes it seem a bit too complicated.

Good luck!

By: allison

allison — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:28:30 +0000

I agree with snarkhunter – m/m couples were much more common than thought. It just happened to be that no one acknowledged anything other than “special friends”. There are some amazing published photography collections that feature these couples.

As for the blurb – I’m interested but, really, it sounds like too much going on and not enough space to take care of it. Give me one or two issues and I can see it. Add in the multiple careers for each all at the same time and I’m a bit lost about what’s important to the main story and what’s not.

In addition – I have to agree that the bootlegger subplot sounds a bit hokey/contrived.

The last bit (not to mention the shellshock Jack’s dealing with and the grief he isn’t.) sounds awesome and keeps me interested in following up on this one.

By: snarkhunter

snarkhunter — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 02:26:06 +0000

I’d read it, absolutely. I agree with most of the comments on the style of the blurb, but I do have one quibble with my fellow commenters. Semi-closeted (as in “everyone knew, but no one talked about”) homosexuality was much, much more common in urban areas in the early twentieth century than anyone here seems to think. The Oscar Wilde trial, which happened during the last decade of the nineteenth century, was something of an aberration. While same-sex love was not socially acceptable by any stretch of the imagination (though it was, admittedly, more acceptable when it was f/f), it’s utterly naive to assume that no one had “ex-boyfriends” or experimented. In fact, in many ways the 1910s were a less repressed time than the one in which we live now. (Or maybe they were just repressed in different ways.)

By: whey

whey — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 17:01:25 +0000

Historic M/M, I’m in. And the blurb is interesting until the last sentence. It makes me skeptical that the writer is going to focus on characterization and the relationship between the two main characters. Instead, they’re going to have a serious of events instigated by “bad guys” that they’ll have to respond to, when dealing with stigma of their relationship in that era (let alone falling in love), returning from a war (and dealing with mental/physical problems because of that), losing your family, embarking on a new, risky business… all of those seem like there’s more than enough for a lengthy book.

By: Robin

Robin — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 16:26:05 +0000

I would be interested in a m/m romance set in that time and place, but I’m not sure about all the elements cluttering the story.

I think that’s why cover blurbs have so few plot details, lol. But isn’t the purpose of the query different, and therefore the amount of detail an author must provide (more summary, for example)? But with both you still have to “hook” your identified audience, be that reader, agent, or publisher.

By: Dear Author’s Query 1919 « Speak Its Name

Dear Author’s Query 1919 « Speak Its Name — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 09:30:24 +0000

[...] Jump to Comments Dear Author have started to showcase Query Letters on a Saturday and this week they have a query regarding a m/m story based in 1919 New York. The Query Letter itself needs a little work, but I think the story could be as good as any of [...]

By: azteclady

azteclady — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 04:37:15 +0000

I would be interested in a m/m romance set in that time and place, but I’m not sure about all the elements cluttering the story.

By: Leah

Leah — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 03:18:51 +0000

I have to say that I probably would not be interested in a gay romance, because the topic seems a little “heavy,” but I found the time period interesting, the college episode interesting, as well as the back-stabbing friend. The big turn-off to me, really, was the bootlegging subplot–it just sounded too goofy. Also, just thinking about it, how many ex-boyfriends could there realistically be at this time?

I have been a lurker for several weeks and have decided to come out of the shadows for “query Saturday.” It’s a great idea, and maybe I’ll get up the guts to submit one myself. I have read many times that a writer has to develop a thick skin–and this would start one! I love the site and have learned so much here already. Thanks to all!

By: Anon

Anon — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 02:56:57 +0000

Not for me.
Too long, and the story is too static sounding.
Also, homosexuality was illegal then. Not a lifestyle choice. But the story sounds a bit tedious, although I have the feeling that’s mainly the blurb working against it.