It does not help that, as Robin wrote, certain theories witin writing programs encourage this kind of disclosure, calling it reportage of the “truth,” rather than a violation of professional boundaries. Unfortunately, it’s not exclusive to the Writing side of English departments.

You know, I’m not even turned off by the overshare so much, because I do think that there’s a certain culture of personal experience in university writing programs that fosters a different view of one’s personal life. But what really disturbed me was the idea that students were being put in the position of formal interpreters and defenders of Butler’s sordid little tale — that they were being explicitly asked to correct any perceptions and to basically, weirdly, legitimate something completely outside their role as students. That just seems like an abuse of power on Butler’s part to me, asking students to basically defend and explain what at best is a very unusual situation, making them party to the whole mess.

I said, “Does he think he’s Henry James?”, meaning that all and sundry would be interested in his tumultuous personal life. In the subsequent reference to letters, I meant the infamous literary love letters between James and Anais Nin. I don’t think he went into a classroom while the affair was going on, and told students all about it. So nothing I said was intended to defend the professor of an ethical breach.

I know exactly what you’re talking about, as regards professorial conduct. I had a poetry prof whom I really admired. And then I learned he had married a girl just a year older than me, one of his former students! They often had students over to their house to hang out, and they owned a coffeeshop, where there were poetry readings. The lines blurred in ways I didn’t enjoy. He was a relic from the 60s, and their house was always full of kids drinking and smoking weed. I never saw him the same way after I went to my first party there.

I don’t think people have a right to know everything. I’m pretty accessible, pretty friendly, but not about to share the personal details of my private life with the world.

I agree completely.

I wanted to watch Mad Men, but couldn’t. I’m not ordinarily like that – squeamish I mean – but something about that show bugs the hell outta me. It’s well written, has excellent acting, and the producer is supposedly rabid about getting the details correct, making it as accurate as possible. Still, the way the women are portrayed, the things said to them and about them – it made me vaguely nauseous.

As for the Cult of Oversharing – I’ll give a hearty amen to that. Maybe part of the blame can be attributed to the proliferation of grocery store rags, blaring about the last time Paris got laid, or what kind of soy milk Britney likes to drink, or whether Brad thinks Angie’s got what it takes in the sack. I stand in line and have a running thought in mind, over and over. “Who gives a shit?” I guess somebody must, or those magazines wouldn’t be there.

My mother used to say, a little mystery about a person is a good thing. Never tell ‘em everything. Leave some things up to the imagination – it always plays much better than reality.

I don’t think people have a right to know everything. I’m pretty accessible, pretty friendly, but not about to share the personal details of my private life with the world.

Mad Men-I only caught one episode. I’ve been trying to figure out it’s night and time since. Loved that episode.

Girl child once told me that I’m old, and I have no idea of how life is the pressure, drugs, sex, etc. I told her get a grip, I grew up in the sixties. She didn’t know what that meant. I gave her a book and made her read up. She gave it back to me with only two words. “Damn it.” *G*
It actually was a good moment because it opened communication. Hence when she said those colored bracelets girls wore meant nothing, the launch into the “I didn’t burn my bra for nothing speech” wasn’t a waste of time.

She was truly shocked by how recently it was that women couldn’t attend certain colleges, couldn’t get into certain careers etc. In her mind that was like 200 years ago. I had my neighbor talk to her about being allowed to audit classes in college but not being able to get a grade because they didn’t allow women to do more than audit.

That really made an impact because here was a human being she could talk to, who didn’t look ancient who had been impacted.

Now, she’s becoming a little vigilante reading up on why women get paid less and the cultural issues that plays into that, legal decisions that can effect women etc.

The discussion was also eye opening for me. I always beleived the woman’s movement was covered better in our schools.

But unless I’m mistaken, he didn’t circulate those letters in a university classroom.

I don’t think that lessens the ethical breach, though, especially as it pertains to grad students, who conduct much of their academic contact with faculty outside the classroom (along with any “extra-curricular” activities that might raise some eyebrows). Having spent basically my whole adult life in an academic environment, I know those boundaries are sometimes difficult to negotiate, especially when true friendships really do spring up between faculty and adult students. But having been on both sides of that authority divide, I think it’s up to the professor to maintain appropriate boundaries, and that publicly inflicting the contents of that letter on students of any age or position in the university was, at the very least, a breach of Butler’s wife’s privacy. Because IMO it’s something that can and will affect the learning environment and the academic relationship between Butler and his students, which is the yardstick by which I tend to measure these things. I remember my senior year in college, sitting next to a student in one of my lit classes (she was a few years older than I was), trying to get past the fact that she was engaged to the 60-some year old professor. It really affected my respect for his integrity as a teacher. I have even more scandalous memories of stuff I heard and saw in my grad school years, and those incidents have stuck with me a long time. Professors have so much power over students, IMO, in both positive and negative ways. And students are often looking for validation from their teachers in ways that can be twisted, too. I remember being practically propositioned by several students, especially when I was a new teacher, and boy did that make me conscious of every word, every conversation, every gesture I made to and in the presence of students.

I put forth that such a dearth of discretion can be attributed to modern society in general. We concede basic privacies that would’ve shocked people thirty years ago. Between Google Earth, people being chipped for security purposes at work, data-mining Internet adware, and reality shows that think nothing of televising the most intimate of details, we have developed what I call The Cult of Oversharing.

It doesn’t occur to folks to censor like they used to. We’re accustomed to the media telling us that “people have a right to know” and we’ve all but forgotten an older adage related to the right to privacy. This concerns me, and opens questions regarding what it means to be a public figure, like an author, singer, actor or other entertainer. Because I put books out for public consumption does this mean people deserve to know everything about me? Sift through my life as if panning for gold in a river bed? I sincerely hope not. Though I want to be seen as friendly and approachable, I don’t want to join the cadre of folks who think nothing of talking about their sex lives on their blog, as if readers care or have some vested interest in such things.

Oh boy, jeez, I am again in complete agreement with Robin. We must brace for the potential natural disaster.

Robin scrambles to find out how close the house is to a fault line. Oh, god, look at all those tall, heavy trees around the house and the car.

God no.

~IMO it’s a real violation of the authority of his position and of the professional boundary professors should maintain with their students, even adult grad students. If he has a few friends in the dept. who also happen to be students, share it with them, but otherwise it’s IMO an ethical breach.~

Oh boy, jeez, I am again in complete agreement with Robin. We must brace for the potential natural disaster.

Yeah. There is that. Maybe I ought to give her my “I didn’t burn my bra for nothing” speech. It always makes my daughter think twice. *sighing*

On a side note, don’t you find it amazing how young girls today are ignorant of how they got the rights they have and how recently they were acquired?

If I were an English professor, I’d be really embarrassed and hasten to assure my students I’d never subject them to such intimate details of my life.

IMO it’s a real violation of the authority of his position and of the professional boundary professors should maintain with their students, even adult grad students. If he has a few friends in the dept. who also happen to be students, share it with them, but otherwise it’s IMO an ethical breach.

You know, I’m almost certain I’ve seen this man speak, but I can’t remember where. NINC, maybe??? I also can’t recall what he looked like or what he said. Good God, what does this mean? Either I was napping, or he was boring, or I dreamed the whole thing.

If I were an English professor, I’d be really embarrassed and hasten to assure my students I’d never subject them to such intimate details of my life.

I think a man who maintains multiple girlfriends is sleazy, from Hugh Hefner on down.

And I cannot express my disappointment that in this day and age, a well-educated woman would willingly become a concubine–and not even THE mistress, just one of the girlfriends. Lord, help me.

Well, uhm, okay, I guess. Gotta say, though, it takes a lot for a man to gain my attention, a heck of a lot more to hold it and the type of support this implies would not even rate a 1 on my richter scale of interest so I’m rather…underwhelmed by the accolade. For sheer weirdness factor, though, this is off the scale. Why is it that people think they have to air to the world at large every fart that’s let in their personal lives? *shaking head* What makes them think we WANT to know stuff like this?

Boundaries, please. We need to reinstitute the concept of boundaries. *sigh* Either that or I just have to call myself officially old so I have an excuse for being constantly stunned.