What is surprising is how much a large number of people within this one tend to try to deny those distinctions exist and instead, intentionally or unintentionally, try to promote the idea that we’re all this big happy family of readers, some of whom just happen to have written the books we read and some of whom sit in judgement of those same books. (Notice that last could be applied just as much to publishers/editors as reviewers.)

The problem is that on the surface it’s a beautiful concept to want us all to be considered the same but on a deeper level it’s very impractical if carried too far or applied in the wrong place at the wrong time because it will then muddy many issues in the extreme.

I appreciate your response and your expanding the question into the next logical nuance. All this is I think a legitimate issue which maybe should be at least discussed since reviewers, romance review sites and blogville are turning into the new opinion-makers and thus have a certain cache and a certain amount of power. Don’t get me wrong. They are filling a vacume that really needed filling and I congratuate all those who take it on. But with success comes those snarky ethical considerations, and while I don’t pretend to know the answers (or even the right questions), it’s something that ought to at least be thought about.

Ironically, there’s a fascinating discussion going on now at Smart Bitches about selling ARCs (a “recurring” controversy). I’ve weighed in, but as I noted there, conflict of interest is a consideration. Good grief, I don’t mean to equate this or that with anything like public policy conflicts or indicate that there’s anything legally at stake, but romanceland is a more complex world that most of us reckoned and this just seems like the next step (so to speak).

lol. I’m not nice…. ask some of my friends. What I am is practical. Or I try to be when it comes to my profession. I learned my lesson early on, within a few months of getting published and it helped me keep a fairly clear head about some things.

The bottom line is that while yes, our books may be our babies, we all like different stuff.

Is there a writer alive that can say that they have loved everything they’ve ever read? If not, then the writer needs to prepare herself for one simple fact. SOMEBODY won’t like their book. It’s a fact of life. We may hate seeing it get shredded in a review, but a review is just one person’s opinion. Chances are, there is somebody who loved the book that got shredded. So long as you’ve got people who like your writing, you can’t let it get to you when others don’t.

Keeping this in mind makes it easier to deal with it when somebody doesn’t care for a book you’ve written.

as to your other question, I wouldn’t ask a friend to review a book. Another lesson I learned… I do have several friends that are reviewers but most of them don’t review my stuff for just that reason. Now if I’m looking for an honest opinion… does this work~does this suck~is this stupid~ I have a couple of friends that I ask and I ask them because I can trust them to be honest. I expect them to be honest. I’m not looking to get my ego stroked. Believe me, I don’t need that. ;)

My question has more to do with the simple problem of knowing the perspective of the individual asking it because the question you posed is a lot more complex than most realize or possibly acknowledge. That complexity makes it, if not necessary, then at least wise to know to whom I’m speaking.

I don’t know about the rest of the readers here, but I do know that I’ve learned from experience that, yes, there is a gap between readers and authors. There’s also a gap between readers and “real” reviewers although many of those later individuals don’t want to admit to it any more than some authors do.

This is not the same thing as saying that those individuals aren’t also readers. Or that they can participate in readers discussions as readers. It does however impact upon aspects of professionalism by all concerned because once the choice has been made to become either an author or a reviewer there are times when that has to be the persona being presented. And that directly impacts upon the question you asked.

I don’t review in the professional sense. Heck, I’m not even completely sure I’ve ever reviewed in the amatuer sense. The one thing I do know is that there is no way that I would be able to “analyze” something written by someone I truly considered a friend – whether that was a book or a review . . .

Are there “professionals” who do “review” the works of their friends? Possibly and probably, but I honestly believe as consumers we’d be quite correct in questioning the conflict of interest they were creating for themselves. (Yes, I know that’s a legal term that may or may not apply here, but I believe it gets the idea across.) Conversely, “defending” works by friends is just as questionable, again whether we’re talking books or reviews.

However, if we’re not talking about “professionals” then we’ve entered a completely different area. As a reader blogger who doesn’t even pretend to review, I would have no qualms about “promo-ing” a friends book, especially if I enjoyed it. I’d probably feel compelled to say up front that the author was in fact a friend. That’s just me, but I suspect that many of the others here would feel similarly.

In all seriousness though, I won’t take out a sworn affidavid, but I will tell you, I’m a reader and romance fan and sometimes participant at romance-related internet sites. I comment when something grabs my interest and represent nothing and nobody but my own views. I haven’t the patience to be be a blogger or owner, the talent to be a writer or have the temperment necessary to read a surfeit of abysmal books to be a reviewer. I am exactly who I represent myself as, and whether I call myself lurker1 or Jezebel, what you see is what I am. Again, and although you have no reason to believe me, I am singularly constitutionally unable to participate in conspiracies–I’m one lousy liar. Oh, and in books as in real life, I have a visceral and absolute negative reaction to back-stabbing and betrayal–they’re right at the top of my list of “sins”.

If I know someone or admire someone personally, I think it would be very, very difficult to give an “honest” response to one of their books even if I thought it was consumate crap. And that would be really unfair, wouldn’t it? Honor demands that each book be judged on its own merit and I don’t think that would be at all easy if there’s a personal relationship between author and reviewer. So, reviewers and blog owners, how do you deal with this condundrum? Or is it even a condundrum for you? I really am interested.[/quote]

Hmmm, I have to admit that I’d feel more comfortable responding to this, Lurker1, if you’d at least identify yourself in some way. Not necessarily by name or even screen name but where you sit in the so-called grand scheme of things – reader, author, academic, whatever. I say that not to draw those “us vs. them” lines that many are so leery of but simply as a point of reference for continued discussion.

Plus, too, many of us have been burned in the past by anonymous posters and frankly I don’t normally waste my time on them unless there’s a valid reason to do so upfront. That is nothing against your posts in this thread, just a statement of fact and a recognition that you’re asking for more interaction on a more or less tangential topic to this thread that we’ve all already probably discussed to death. So, it would help if I could know in some manner where you’re coming from in order to frame my reply more precisely.

So, reviewers and blog-owners, this question’s for you:

If I know someone or admire someone personally, I think it would be very, very difficult to give an “honest” response to one of their books even if I thought it was consumate crap. And that would be really unfair, wouldn’t it? Honor demands that each book be judged on its own merit and I don’t think that would be at all easy if there’s a personal relationship between author and reviewer. So, reviewers and blog owners, how do you deal with this condundrum? Or is it even a condundrum for you? I really am interested.

Ja(y)nes, I love Dear Author. I think it’s hilarious. And sometimes I’ve bought books because something that was said here about a book, either very good things… or bad things, just wondering if it’s really that bad. Kind of like a Mrs. Giggles thing.

One thing I can say for Dear Author is that I’ve never seen either of you attack the author in a negative review. You’re honest, and the reviews are usually very entertaining.

I’ve probably referred to a few of my books as my baby~like any writer, I do put a lot of time and sweat and love into my stories, a lot like labor. But I’m not going to slit my wrists with a paperclip if somebody doesn’t like my stuff.

For every one person that doesn’t like it, there’s another who does. That’s good enough for me. It strikes me as incredibly arrogant to think that everybody will automatically love every word I write. Plus, it gives me a headache to worry over it. *G* So I try not to.