“How much can you hide?

Jemima Hutton is determined to build a successful new life and keep her past a dark secret. Trouble is, her jewellery business looks set to fail – until enigmatic Ben Davies offers to stock her handmade belt buckles in his guitar shop and things start looking up, on all fronts.
But Ben has secrets too. When Jemima finds out he used to be the front man of hugely successful Indie rock band Willow Down, she wants to know more. Why did he desert the band on their US tour? Why is he now a semi-recluse?
And the curiosity is mutual – which means that her own secret is no longer safe …”

Dear Ms. Lovering,

Since I enjoyed the first book of yours I read, “Slightly Foxed,” I jumped at the chance to check out your latest release, “Please Don’t Stop the Music.” Your description of it as a ‘dark psychological romance – with jokes’ is dead on. I knew from the beginning that there were going to be angsty emotional revelations along the way but I still enjoy laughing a bit on the road to them.

These are two very wounded people who have both current and past problems. They have to open up in order to heal and allow for possible future love and you take the time to pry them open, almost like clams, to allow this. Thank you for giving them REAL problems and not just “I’m so misunderstood by the world” navel gazing idiocy. I like that you give us some clues about what these issues are – it’s not all coy as some stories are – but the final revelations are still powerful and haunting. But it’s good that Rosie and Jason realize that Jem is hiding something – what friends would they be if they didn’t plus they’d look like idjuts.

I can kind of understand why Jem keeps running and almost runs again one last time. She’s got some serious self-esteem issues she has to deal with. Her warped views on sexuality were gained at a relatively young age and she’s both ashamed of what she allowed to happen and still not quite over it. But as Ben points out – look how she’s grown in the time since he’s met her. She is willing to confront Saskia (what’s with the popularity of this name anyway?) to help her friend Rosie and him and at least she realizes what her problem is even if she’s still sees running as how to overcome it. Ben does a wonderful thing for her in following her and *showing* her what she means to him. I don’t think Jem would believe it any other way.

Ben also has to overcome not only his “sex, drugs and rock’n'roll” past but also the guilt over how he left the band and the grief of the reason why. He had to get over the ‘towering artiste knocked down in his prime’ delusion. But get beyond it he finally does as he admits that he wouldn’t take his past back as a gift if it meant not having Jem in his life. That was a powerful revelation. No, he’ll never play again but he can still work in music.

Even after the explanations of why she did it, I have to say that Saskia gets away with too much. Her reason for what she did doesn’t excuse her for trying to ruin two lives – and harming Ben’s business as well. And she appears to be walking away from it scot free. Perhaps Jem and Ben will put the York trade authority screws to her but I needed to see some punishment or retribution.

I love that baby Harry isn’t a little bundle of total joy and happiness for Rosie. He’s not just a plot moppet but a real influence on Rosie and Jem and Jason’s lives. Rosie’s issues are certainly different and I did wonder about her relationship with the father but you turned that for an interesting twist as well. I like the sort of open ended finale – Jem and Ben look to be working things out. Jason and Rosie as well but no wedding bells are shown yet.

Yeah for the York setting again. Yes, there are other parts of England besides the Home Counties and London and I’m delighted to see them! I love the image of the center of York with streets that fold in on each other and hidden nooks and crannies. Plus I enjoyed the sardonic English humor in the story. Jem and Ben take the piss out of each other on a regular basis.

The book is Chick Lit’ish in that it’s mainly first person but there’s much more angst and we get Ben’s thoughts through his journal, which I loved. You’ve done a good job showing the arc of the characters’ development and change – of Jem and Ben falling in trust with each other, feeling safe and happy with each other, then falling in love. You put these two through the wringer a time or three but theirs is a HEA I believe in. B

~Jayne

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Genre: Historical black comedy

Grade: B

I’ve been meaning to watch and review this one for ages but got the boost I needed when I saw it’s being shown today on TCM. Used to be it was impossible to find this one on DVD but recently both a region 1 and region 2 version have been released. The full movie can also be watched at IMDB and on youtube. With the recent use of Victorian England as a popular historical romance era, “The Wrong Box” can slide in right between your reading schedule.

Seventy-some years earlier, the parents and guardians of twenty young, upperclass English boys entered them in a tontine. The idea is that for each boy, the sum of 1,000 pounds is entered into a “pot” – to be appropriately managed financially – and that the last surviving member gets the whole ball of wax. With the death of the third to the last man, two elderly brothers, Masterman (John Mills) and Joseph (Ralph Richardson) Finsbury, are now the only living ones left. They’ve been estranged for years but both are eagerly taken care of by their respective heirs with the hope that their man will outlive the other and thus get the (current value) 111,000 pounds.

Masterman appears to be fading at last and a telegraph is sent to Joseph summoning him to London. Accompanied by his two greedy nephews Morris (Peter Cook) and John (Dudley Moore), Joseph takes the train but a horrible crash, a badly mangled body and Joseph’s propensity to wander around and get caught up spewing facts to complete strangers leaves the nephews certain that he’s dead. Now what do they do? If they can conceal Joseph’s death until after Masterman kicks off and then stage their uncle’s “death,” they can claim all that lovely money. But Masterman isn’t ready to hand in his notice quite yet plus Joseph has managed to make it to London leading to fast and furious hijinks as everyone tries to conceal everything just long enough to win the prize.

The – slightly bizarre – opening credits give a hint of the pace to follow. This isn’t a frantic screwball comedy but rather a slower, more stately black comedy that takes a little while to begin building up the pace to the humor. The plot has to be explained, the main characters introduced and the stage set before the macabre fun can kick in. There are misunderstandings, misidentified people, misidentified bodies, a hearse chase through London (these final chase scenes seem to have been so popular with 1960s directors), a final confrontation/explanation at a cemetery and of course the switched – wrong – boxes. And a piano.

Before the main action begins, there’s an amusing sequence which shows the deaths of some of the boys/men – now stop being shocked, this is a black comedy – and believe me, some of them could easily have competed in Monty Python’s “Upperclass Twit of the Year Award.” Even Queen Victoria acts a touch twitish while attempting to knight one of them. At various times throughout the film, amusing cue cards, like those from silent movies, will appear on screen. And be sure to read the order of the cast at the end.

The film is packed with some of the best talent in Britain. Richardson plays a man obsessed with trivia who successively bores anyone unfortunate to encounter him while Mills is his cranky, cantankerous brother who attempts to kill Joseph at least 7 different ways during the short scene of them together. I didn’t mention in the plot but Michael Caine is Masterman’s grandson Michael, who has been selling off all their possessions for years in order to keep a roof over their heads, while Nanette Newman plays Julia, the supposed niece of Joseph. Those two sweet, charming ninnies fall quickly in love-at-almost-first-sight complete with a hilarious scene of them set off into spasms of swooning slo-mo emotion by the mere sight of her ankle and his bare elbow. They were Victorians, remember? Their joy is complete when they discover that their children won’t be idiots, due to the fact that they’re not really related, and that they share being orphans, his parents were killed in a balloon ascension while her missionary parents were eaten by their Bible class.

Peter Cook and Dudley Moore are fabulous together as the two nephews who’ve slaved away at keeping Uncle Joseph well all these years and who, By God!, aren’t going to lose that money now. Cook’s caddish Morris is the true brains of the two while Moore’s randy John never met a chambermaid, or housekeeper, he didn’t like.

But the two actors I found I absolutely adored here are Wilfred Lawson as Peacock, the venerable and doddering butler of the Masterman Finsbury household and Peter Sellers as Dr. Pratt. For the entire film, you’re convinced that Peacock is only a few vertical degrees from falling over or just about to kick the bucket himself yet he doggedly persists in answering the door, announcing visitors, fetching the tea, packing crates of valuables to hock at Sotheby’s and whatever else the Finsburys need of him. It’s literally old family loyalty in action to the end. Both of Sellers’ scenes are played with Cook and you can almost see Cook fighting not to laugh at how funny Dr. Pratt’s lines are. Pay close attention as Sellers mumbles a touch to give Pratt the absent mindedness needed and watch for how he uses a thermometer and a kitten. Be assured though that none of the tens of moggies crowding his decrepit quarters are harmed in the making of this film.

I was amazed that in spite of all the switches, near misses, misunderstandings and skullduggery, the plot is easy to follow and I never once got lost trying to remember who’s stuffed into what. The Victorian settings and decor are suitably overcrowded and dark and there’s a nod to one of the manias of the era in the form of Morris’ egg collection. And of course the whole movie is a love letter to the Victorian fascination with death. The dialogue is subtle and the zingers are understated so listen carefully to catch them all. This is a quiet little gem that sneaks up on you and I’m glad I finally pulled it out from my “recorded off TCM” stack, dusted it off and gave it a spin.

~Jayne

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I felt like this book started out with the heroine as a thief and the hero as a good guy and then someone told you to SEX it up and all the backstory and character got chopped for paragraph upon paragraph of mental lusting.   There was so much mental lusting, in such an intense and melodramatic tone, that it was surprising to me that either the heroine or the hero could function like regular people.  The heroine, in particular, with her description of her insta lust upon seeing Will (just Will not Your Grace) was in such a state I wondered if an ambulance needed to be called:

She’d like him to swerve off to the left, drag her down some dusty deserted corridor and back her up against a wall. She’d like him to lift her up, wrap her legs around his waist and crush his mouth down on hers. She’d like him to run his hands all over her and drive her mindless with need. Most of all she’d like him hot and hard and deep inside her.

At the bolt of desire that thumped her in the stomach Bella went dizzy and stumbled. Would have hit the floor had Will not caught her arm and steadied her.

‘Are you all right?’

Bella dragged in a breath and blinked a couple of times as she fought to wipe her head of the images. Oh, good Lord. She was fantasising. About Will. A duke. So much for thinking she didn’t go for the cynical weary type, she thought dolefully. And so much for sensible and mature.

‘I’m fine,’ she said a little shakily, wriggling away from beneath his grip before she did something really unhinged like deliberately letting her knees collapse and falling into his arms. ‘Absolutely fine. These heels weren’t designed for this carpet, that’s all.’

His gaze was so laser-like, so intense, that it felt as if her clothes were disintegrating in its wake, leaving her standing there in front of him completely naked. And then, at the thought of that, she went so hot and trembly she nearly stumbled all over again.

Now that we are all tipsy on our heels from lust, let me describe the plot. The heroine, Bella, is a jewelry designer and appraiser. Is she the best appraiser in all of England? She should be because the hero, Will, is bringing her a collection that is called “legendary”. It is so legendary and valuable that Will carries around some trinkets in his pockets.

The Hawksley Collection is comprised of a number of jewels the Dukes of Hawksley have given to their lovers. Alas, some of those jewels are paste, Bella discovers. Is Will worried about a scandal ensuing if it comes out that some of the jewels in this famed collection are fake? Nah. He’s a billionaire from the Cayman Islands. (also Duke of Hawksley but that is such a stupid throwaway detail that even Will is embarrassed by it. That makes two of us).

Will immediately invites Bella, this random jewelry designer, to come to his bank and view the entire collection to view what is fake and what is not. At this point, I’d be whipping out my non disclosure form but I’m not a billionaire Duke from Cayman Islands and maybe they just don’t care about those things over there.

Fortunately, because the two are so hot for each other, they have sex in Will’s limo. You know, after Will kind of rebuffs Bella and makes her leave the bank to walk home in the rain. But alas, the road to happiness for Will and Bella is not all paste diamonds and sex filled limo rides. Bella is looking to find a man to settle down with and Will, because he is a cheater and from a family of cheaters, has declared himself off limits for a relationship. This does not stop Bella from pursuing Will or Will to become enraged and jealous by Bella toddling off to date another man. But their physical attraction cannot be denied. (Lest the two are put in a hospital)

As she twisted her hair into a thick dark rope her elbow briefly brushed against his shoulder and for one sizzling moment he thought he’d been electrocuted. His entire body burned as if it had gone up in flames and his heart practically stopped.

The conflict between Mr. Commitment Phobe and Ms. Looking for Forever is understandable. I would have liked to have seen more backstory on why she was determined to be married and have a family. I would have liked a few lines that would have established her as premiere expert in her field. I wouldn’t have minded a few paragraphs about why, other than the two suffer this unrelenting lust, that these two actually belong together. I also wouldn’t have minded if the word “besotted” was used less often:

Since when had he contemplated ditching a friend for a woman? And since when had he brought forward a date because he couldn’t wait? Where had his self-control gone? And more disturbingly, where had the idea that he might be besotted with Bella come from? He couldn’t be besotted with her. He’d only just met her. Besides he didn’t get besotted. Ever.

Will let out a growl of frustration. He’d wait until Saturday because he had to. Because that was the plan. Because he wasn’t besotted. And because he had gallons of self-control. Somewhere.

I guess the good thing is that I really knew where these characters stood.  Foolish parts of the story are shown to us like Bella’s conversation with Sam, a date she used to make Will jealous. Other important parts are told to us in summary fashion:

She’d found herself telling him about her peripatetic childhood and the colourful characters that had peppered her upbringing. About how, instead of doing her homework, she’d learned to pick locks, forge cheques and hot-wire cars. Far from being appalled, as she’d rather feared, Will had been fascinated and so, encouraged, she’d gone on to tell him all about her mother and her wildly misspent youth and about how she now lived quietly in Truro, kept goats and grew herbs.

So Bella is a pickpocket, former felon who now works as an appraiser of legendary jewels.  Will, an English Duke, ran off to the Caymans where he built an empire.  He also has a debilitating phobia that was tossed in to ensure that despite his top lofty and irrational behavior and the fact he cheated on some bipolar chick when he was in his early twenties,  Will is a “good guy.”

I guess this is like an after school special for single women wherein the moral is always have sex in limos with guys who treat you poorly because underneath their irrational behavior lurks a socially damaged and phobic man whose just waiting for the right woman to keep his pants zipped up.  D

Best regards,

Jane

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As we all know, it’s impossible to be objective about a review. And this is fine, as long as we can be honest about the sources of our lack of objectivity, if we know them. This book has flaws, even major flaws that have been pointed out to me by other really astute readers, and I will talk about these flaws. But I was and am utterly unable to be aware of these flaws as I read this book, no matter how many times I read it — and I’ve read it at least three times by now. This book ripped my heart out, stomped all over it, put it back, then did it again, only harder.

I need plot summary to explain my particular and specific non-objectivity: The story is set at some point during Victoria’s reign — gas lighting and indoor plumbing exist, for example. Lord George Albert Westin, or Wes to his very few friends, is the second son of a very powerful Marquess, painfully shy, reclusive, a brilliant botanist, completely gay, a stammerer, and addicted to heroin that was first prescribed to him by a doctor to control his panic attacks. Michael Vallant is a first class whore, beautiful, and the victim of rape at the age of twelve by none other than Wes’s father. I am giving nothing away by saying this because it’s all revealed very early in the story.

My utter lack of objectively arises from the fact that I was sent the ARC of this book a week after the Penn State/Sandusky story broke. The situation at Penn State broke my heart and made me furious, in turn/together. So the first time I read this book, all I could think of was Sandusky’s victims, who seem to have been lost in the circus of all the other “more important” players of the “scandal.” The most recent time I read this book (for this review) was about two weeks after a very close friend told me about how their heroin addiction destroyed their life and how they’ve struggled to piece it back together. So I have no ability to separate from this book. I haven’t the slightest hope of viewing it with anything close to objectivity or even impartiality. This book is real people to me, desperately vulnerable people and/or people I care about deeply.

This book, if you couldn’t tell, is utterly over the top. Everything that happens, every character, every plot point, every sentence, is designed specifically to rip your heart out and stomp on it. Being the glutton I am, I love this. I’m a Romantic (Big-R, literary movement Romantic) at heart, as well as a romantic (small-R, people falling in love romantic), so I go for the grand gestures, always have. I love Over The Top. This book, therefore, utterly worked for me. But I know that’s what exasperated some of my astute reader friends who read it.

For instance, the stock characters: the villain (Wes’s father) is evil incarnate. He’s not like Sandusky was — everyone’s best friend and buddy. Daventry is only after power. You get the impression he isn’t even really a pedophile; rather, he just gets off on the utter power of “owning” a boy and doing exactly what he wants with him. He’s evil and horrible and that’s the point. Then there’s the pimp with the heart of gold: Michael’s mother (an aging courtesan) sold Michael to Wes’s father when Michael was 12. After the week with Daventry was over, Michael ran away and was saved by Rodger, who was 16 at the time and — of course — a master thief and pimp. Rodger’s basically controlled everything about Michael’s life since then, with Michael’s full permission. He knows all, sees all, controls all. But he loves Michael and wants what’s best for him. And there’s also Penelope Brannigan, the American “social worker” (an anachronistic term I’m using here just to make a point) with the horrible past that’s the reason she’s trying to save the world, one addict at a time.

While these characters are completely from Stock Central, and therefore annoy other readers, they completely worked for me because of their layers. Yes, they’re stock, but stock characters exist for a reason, and really, any representation of a pimp has become a stock representation, ditto a social worker with tragedy in her past that spurs her to do her good work. Cullinan doesn’t leave them at that, though. Rodger comes to realize his mistakes in dealing with Michael and the interaction between them is so well done. Penelope helps Wes overcome his addiction and control his stutter, but at cost to herself. And honestly, people with Over The Top issues like this do actually exist in real life. I know a surprising number of them, in fact. So it doesn’t actually seem over the top to me.

However, the ONE issue I had with this book was with Wes’s brother: if any character was cardboard, it was him, parroting their father’s estimation of Wes, focused on his son as “the heir,” not as a boy. That did bother me and seemed too OTT, even for this book. His about-face acceptance of the relationship between Wes and Michael at the end of the story (remember, this is a historical, so “sodomy” is a crime, etc.) bothered other readers I talked with, but I bought it, considering the specific circumstances (that are spoilerish so I will comment no more).

But really, the love story between Wes and Michael is strong enough that it allows me to say words which might seem unbelievable, but here I go: addiction and child rape aside, this book is about Wes and Michael, two very damaged souls, finding each other and becoming both weaker and stronger together. As always, Cullinan delivers the goods (for me). For instance, Wes (whom Michael calls and thinks of as Albert) is trying to convince Michael to wear his much-needed glasses:

Albert only smiled wryly and held out the spectacles, dangling them from his fingers. “Wh-Wh-Why will you n-not wear them? You p-p-prefer not to see?”

Michael’s cock was pounding as hard as his pulse now, and as he knew neither would get release, he lost his temper. “My lord, I make my living by my looks. How many whores have you met with glasses thicker than most windowpanes?”

He doubted he’d have been able to read Albert’s face even if he could see it. It made him angry, and he would have stormed out, but he couldn’t leave his glasses. He’d fallen asleep before he’d finished the Dickens.

“Wh-Wh-Why d-did you ask m-m-me to k-k-kiss you?” Albert asked at last.

“Because you haven’t kissed me all week,” Michael shot back.

Albert’s reply was measured, careful. “You w-w-wanted me to?”

“Yes.” Michael folded his arms over his chest. “I did.”

Albert took a step forward, his blurry form coming into partial focus. “H-How m-many c-clients h-have y-you m-met with s-s-s-such a c-c-clumsy st-st-ststammer?”

Heat raced up Michael’s cheeks. “You’re different,” he whispered.

“S-S-So are you,” Albert whispered back.

Don’t fall in love with him. Rodger’s words rose up in faint echo, a last warning.

Too late, Michael admitted, frozen in place as Albert lifted Michael’s glasses and arranged them carefully on his face.

The impetus for the story is that Wes and Michael meet by accident at a not-quite-ton party. Michael is there to find tricks (which in retrospect seems odd, considering how much he stays at the brothel during the rest of the book), but is instead being harassed by a rejected customer; Wes is there to see a rare orchid (he’s a botanist) but is unable to control his social anxiety enough to ask his hostess to see it. Wes and Michael are trapped together by Michael’s irate former customer and “talk” to each other on Wes’s notepad, allowing them to have a conversation without consideration for Wes’s stammer. They have a sexual encounter which sends Michael into an unaccountable tailspin of flashbacks to his abuse at the hands of Wes’s father. Unable to earn his keep anymore, Michael asks Rodger to find Wes, hoping that another encounter with Wes will fix him (Michael), just as the first one messed him up. It doesn’t, but after Michael’s panic attack, Wes buys a month of Michael’s time, during which they spend every afternoon together, learning each other, falling in love, and struggling with what life has thrown them.

Cullinan’s writing is brilliant, as usual. Michael and Wes are amazing characters; their relationship is perfect for them. They don’t cure each other. There’s no insta-cure in this book for heroin addiction or for PTSD flashbacks to child sex abuse. But their love for each other makes them want to try to be better, however much they stumble along the way. But I also love how the characters don’t just strengthen each other — they weaken each other as well; their relationship makes things worse for them as well as better. It’s brilliantly done.

Once again, I feel like my review doesn’t begin to do justice to the book. Honestly, yes, the book is over the top and if that’s not your thing as a reader, then this book will NOT work for you. But, you know what, every now and then I’m confronted with the fact that some people’s lives are like this: maybe none of Sandusky’s victims will end up with a recovering heroin addict for a partner, but both deserve happiness just as much as anyone else (except Sandusky himself, of course). Sometimes the love story should be about the victims, the non-Alphas, the ones who are left behind, the ones who aren’t strong — but of course, are the strongest of us all. That is this book. And I adored it.

Grade: B+ (Recommended Read for February)

Best regards,
-Sarah

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England, 1924

It had been love at first sight when Jack Damarell, the Eighth Earl of Crieff, and American artist Lindsey van der Maier met on the steamer to England. Their marriage had been filled with white-hot passion—until Jack’s dark memories of the trenches drove them apart.

Now Lindsey has returned, and Jack has resolved to exorcise her from his heart with one final night of lovemaking to prove that reality couldn’t possibly live up to his memories. But can Jack hold onto his conviction when their sensual encounter exceeds his imagination?

Dear Ms Kaye,

Sometimes Harlequin Undone stories work for me and sometimes they don’t. Here, I just don’t get it. Or don’t see it – one or the other. How the heck did the sudden turn around happen?

The story starts with Jack so determined that He Can Never Love and that he’s over Lindsay. After all, she left him. No wait, he drove her out and then she left him but it’s all her fault. No wait, it’s his darkness left over from the war which he thought her pure innocence could cure but it didn’t and he’s too dark inside and their marriage will never work. No wait, he just needs one night of sex to prove that it can’t live up to the memory of her in his mind – one night to f*ck her out of his life and he’s done here. But wait, she’s grown, she’s matured, she’s ready to take control of the sexing and it’s hot and mind blowing to the point where she ends up entreating for another chance at their marriage. But no, it won’t work and regardless of what he told her about giving them another chance if the sex was hot, it’s over.

At this point, something happens that goes a bit over the line for me. It sounds like stalking and today I’d get a restraining order if this went on much longer. And if it had been Jack doing this I would have screamed bloody murder. To me it really isn’t okay despite the fact that it comes from the heroine. Who again ends up entreating cold, broken, “No this can’t ever work” Jack.

So…she leaves and tries to really get over him, dragging herself along through her days. Until 2 months later, she gets a note to meet him in NYC. She goes to see him and is surprised because he’s changed. He’s over his belief that it’s over. How, I have no idea. Or if signs of his change are there, I totally missed them. He says he knows what his problem was and it’s all better now. What? How? In two months? Six years of shell shock, nightmares, and black outs are over? Cured? What? and HOW?! No, I don’t get this sudden change.

The set up is cool. The time period is great. The sexing is hot – well, I’m still uncomfortable about what Lindsay pulls in London. But I truly don’t believe that Jack is over what was tormenting him to the point that he was willing to give up this love of his life. Lindsay does forgive and forget – he’s her one and only too – but I don’t see the bridge from how the book starts to how it ends. C

~Jayne

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I should probably preface this review by saying that I’ve chatted with you on Twitter and what I know of you, I really like.

Ever since they met in The Dangerous Viscount, book two of your Burgundy Book Club series, I’ve wanted to see Minerva Montrose and the Marquis of Blakeney (known to his acquaintances as Blake) hook up. Confessions from an Arranged Marriage, Blake and Minerva’s story, opens with a London ball in Minerva’s honor.

As a favor to their nephew, Minerva’s brother-in-law, the Duke and Duchess of Hampton have agreed to hold the ball. Their son, Blake, is to open it with Minerva. But Blake is enjoying his mistress’s company, and arrives too late. By the time he dances with Minerva, she is greatly irritated. She and Blake snipe at each other and are both glad when the waltz ends.

Minerva has already picked out a husband – a Member of Parliament named Mr. Parkes whom she believes she can groom into the next Prime Minister. Very much in favor of political reform, Minerva believes she can help bring it about by steering the sober, responsible Mr. Parkes through the waters of politics and diplomacy. But Minerva’s hopes to encourage this courtship are thwarted by a migraine. She takes headache powders and goes to lie down in the library.

Meanwhile, Blake is having an even worse evening. Though handsome, athletic, and heir to a dukedom, he carries a shameful secret. Blake suffers from what contemporary readers will recognize as dyslexia, although back in 1822, its existence was unknown. Consequently Blake believes his inability to read is due to pure and simple stupidity.

Blake does tries to cover up this flaw by pretending to be arrogant, lazy, and disinterested in anything intellectual. To Blake’s misfortune, his family has a long history of being in the thick of politics, and Blake is expected to follow in the same tradition. Relations between Blake and his cool, standoffish parents are therefore strained.

Even more unfortunate, Blake has confided his secret in an Eton friend, Mr. Huntley, and Huntley has used the secret to blackmail Blake. Now, just when Blake’s resulting debt has finally been paid, Huntley corners him. Blake manages to extricate himself from the conversation before Huntley can launch into his next demand, but he feels flooded with shame.

Escaping into an unoccupied room, Blake gets drunk on champagne overhears his friend Lamb planning a tryst with the amorous Duchess of Lethbridge, with whom Blake has slept in the past. As Lamb and the duchess plan to meet in the library in an hour’s time, the drunken Blake has a brainstorm. He and Lamb have a tradition of playing pranks on one another. Wouldn’t it be hilarious to arrive at the library first and take Lamb’s place with the duchess?

In the library, Blake discovers a tall woman lying on the couch, her hand covering her eyes. Believing her to be the duchess, Blake feels certain she is feigning sleep, playing at a naughty scenario. Blake has his head under her petticoats when the woman wakes up and shrieks “What are you doing?” Only a moment after her realizes she is the irritating Minerva Montrose, Blake turns and sees a group of people in the doorway.

Thus Blake and Minerva reluctantly become engaged. But when Blake realizes what his father wants most from him and Minerva is a grandson, an heir more worthy of the dukedom than his son, Blake indulges his hurt and anger with a petty decision: he will refrain from consummating the marriage so as not to give his father his heart’s desire.

Blake also believes all Minerva cares about is whether or not he can satisfy her political ambitions, and at first, he’s not entirely wrong. Minerva is so upset that her hopes of marrying Mr. Parkes were dashed that she is terribly disappointed that her husband will be Blake. Never having seen him read or discuss books or even events in the newspapers, she is not at all convinced that he is intelligent.

Since Blake believes himself lacking in intellect, Minerva’s initial lack of respect for him, and later her desire to mold him into a political figure, something he knows he can never be, hurt him enough that even after they are engaged, he does not dismiss his mistress.

Minerva’s is disappointed and unhappy to learn that Blake was seen with his paramour at the theater. When the two marry and travel to Paris for their honeymoon, there is a great deal of tension between them. Although Minerva is dreading her wedding night, she is also hurt and upset when Blake doesn’t come to her room.

But Blake was tasked by his politically inclined brother in law Gideon with finding which of the French are loyal to the crown and which to Napoleon’s son, and when he finally shares this objective with Minerva, they turn it into a friendly contest. The hunt for political intelligence brings the couple together, and Blake realizes what a fool he was not to touch his smart, confident and appealing wife.

Minerva for her part begins to see that Blake is intelligent as well as handsome, but wonders why he doesn’t apply himself more. She feels certain he could be so much more than he is, and if only he would allow her to persuade him to enter the political arena, they could be a couple to contend with.

Standing in the way of both Minerva’s ambitions and the romantic relationship is Blake’s secret. How can he trust a woman as bright as Minerva with the knowledge that he is stupider than he appears?

Confessions from an Arranged Marriage engaged me only partly in the beginning, because Blake and Minerva were so preoccupied with their personal needs and desires that neither looked beyond the surface of the other at first. While there is something refreshing about a pair of lovers who start out disinterested in one another, I would have liked for a few more hints of attraction to pierce that disinterest a little sooner.

Additionally, though this is a minor concern, the presence of most of the characters from the earlier books in the series during the ballroom scene felt like prequel baiting. While I realize there were natural reasons for them to be there, even so it can still feel artificial when several characters from earlier books appear in the same scene.

(As long as I’m on the subject of characters from earlier books, I’ll add that I felt a little sorry for poor Diana, in her third pregnancy in roughly as many years. I wondered how many children she and Sebastian would have by the end of the 1820s!)

Once Minerva and Blake began their honeymoon trip, though, their interest in each other as people sparked, and I started really caring about them as a couple. The more they started understanding and caring about each other, the more invested in them I became.

Blake starts out self-focused, but he grows up a lot over the course of the book. I didn’t always like him, since his decisions not to dismiss his mistress right away and not to consummate his marriage struck me as insensitive to Minerva. But even at his most immature, I felt for him over the dyslexia issue.

As the story progressed and Blake showed greater and greater maturity and love for Minerva while still fearing to disclose his secret, I understood more and more what a source of fear and shame his belief that he was stupid was, and how sensitive he had always been under his indifferent exterior.

Minerva, though more concerned with the greater good and England’s fate than Blake, and outwardly much more mature, had a different flaw. Her self-confidence was such that she started out certain that she knew what she wanted in a husband and that Blake was about as far from what she needed as a man could get.

But the more Minerva realized that Blake was not an idiot, the more I came to care about her. One of the pleasures of this book was her growth into a woman capable of seeing that intelligence comes in many stripes and therefore, one capable of not just accepting, but also respecting and admiring the man Blake grew into being.

By the middle of the book I was totally rooting for this couple, though their trials were far from over. I smiled at their witty repartee, found their love scenes hot, and one scene between Blake and his father even made me tear up a little for Blake.

Having now read all four books in the Burgundy Book Club series, I can say that your characters’ vulnerabilities, insecurities and quirks are consistently well conveyed. There is a warmth to the writing that comes from acceptance of the idiosyncrasies that make human beings imperfect and human.

I have just one more issue with the book, which is that sometimes I feel that the style of narration has an effect that is slightly distancing. At times I feel I’m being told about the characters rather than experiencing their emotions from the inside.

Even so, I ultimately had great sympathy and affection for Blake and Minerva, and was so glad to see them triumph over all the obstacles their relationship faced. I closed the book smiling and satisfied. B+.

Sincerely,

Janine

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Finding your boyfriend in the shower with another woman isn’t high on Deborah Kemerton’s “best birthday presents ever” list. Her life in London shattered, she retreats to her sleepy hometown to heal her broken heart. There, she’s quickly swept up in planning a pageant to celebrate the 700th anniversary of the village church. Tasked with casting the perfect Samson, Deborah may have found her man in Josh Lancaster—onstage and off…

Fellow committee member Anne Lindsay is convinced a 12th-century crusader is buried under St. John’s. As the story goes, Hugo left for the Holy Land after his true love Maude was given in marriage to his brother. Professor Toby Duggan is equally convinced Anne is wrong, and is determined to prove it. Neither of them counts on their mutual passion for history turning into a passion for each other…

When romantic entanglements and small-town dramatics come to a head, local legend proves to be more than just a story…

Dear Ms Hammond,

A few years ago I read, and enjoyed, one of your Regency novels. At the time, I made a note that I needed to look at what else you had published. Best intentions and all that but it took until now when I saw this blurb and thought, “let’s check out a contemporary of hers.”

Debs starts out really needing some self confidence. But I can understand her as a person in a new environment who is dazzled by this gorgeous man who said he loved her. When she contemplates going back to London – though thankfully never back to Bernard – I did want to shake her a bit. She does become a little more confident as shown when she tells Bernard off at the end and gets mad at Josh when she imagines that he’s making fun of their village or leading her on. Debs approaches her growing relationship with Josh cautiously, as I would expect from anyone so publicly hurt in the recent past. I like this as she’s neither hurling herself at new person – which would have been out of character due to the way she’s been described – nor is she hiding in a shell and totally unwilling to venture into something new. The relationship she has with her father, who obviously loves her, is sweet and the backup she gets from her fellow villagers, who’ve known her all her life, shows the best of small town life. But I’m left with the question of why did Bernard want her back? The office management alone? Can they not find someone else to do this in all of London? I needed a better and personal reason to believe how badly he wants her to come back besides it being needed for the plot as a last minute wrench between Debs and Josh.

Josh is a sweetie who is affronted by Debs’ initial suggestion that he’s only kissing her on their outing because he’s a male and she’s available. Very little of the book is told from Josh’s POV – necessary, I know, to keep his intentions hidden til near the end – but what his friends say about him and his own actions show that he’s a good guy. Plus he’s a cat lover which scores big points from me. I could see Josh’s ultimate placement in the village coming from a mile away but it’s a nice tie up of the issue of what to do with the restaurant, a resolution of Kemmerton’s health issues and Deb’s future.

The second romance didn’t work quite as well for me. More background is shown for Anne than for Toby and thus I was more emotionally invested in her happiness. Toby I didn’t know so much beyond his fixation on the church issue. I can see why Anne wants to investigate and get proof but Toby starts off strident with no reason ever given beyond an academic’s interest in the outcome. Unfortunately it makes him come off as an old fart who is just a stick about it. Then, the morning after of their date is a scene straight out of romance plotting central: hot sex, the Big Mis and flouncing off in a huff followed by a quick make up. Toby just shows up and says “I’m sorry” and Anne apologizes and that’s fixed? I needed a bit more resolution here. As for the Templar Church issue, I figured that “something” would happen in order to finish off this plot thread. Yes, I could see these things coming but still it’s nicely and believably done.

The medieval part of the story is interesting and bittersweet. I’m glad that you let it play out as you did. Any other resolution would have cheapened what Hugo did and how Maude and Andrew reacted. I found it strange that since Hugo was the one who escaped and told the world what happened at the battle it wasn’t known he survived but perhaps that sort of info wasn’t recorded or got lost. As Toby said, voices dim over the centuries.

Lots of romance readers have been indicating that they’re bored with the current worship of small town life. Here it isn’t a problem for me for two reasons: London isn’t denigrated and as an American reader, getting a glimpse of the English countryside is still fun. Gammon steak and Cumberland sausage? I must investigate more about pub food. Everything about the village and its people is important to them. Bernard might think it’s all bucolic nattering about trivial things but to them, it’s central. I kind of hope this small town life isn’t lost as someone needs to care about the St John’s Churches of the world. The pageant, which is a nice coming together of the village, is hilarious and sure to go down in village lore. It also shows that, like everywhere, there are issues and simmering tensions going on as would be expected of a small place where people have grown up being in each others business.

This is more of a sweet type of romance. There is sex but it’s pretty much behind closed doors and it would fit into the genre of “Small town romance.” I found the resolution of one relationship a bit rushed but that of Josh and Deborah is not and get the feeling that they are suited and will do fine. Plus I discovered that a humbug isn’t just a saying for Christmas haters! Love it when I learn something new in a book. B-

~Jayne

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“Georgia, Countess of Maybury has it all, but then her husband is killed in a duel and she loses her homes, most of her possessions, and her reputation as well. Innocent of all charges, she returns to the beau monde determined to regain all through a second brilliant marriage, but a scarred ex-naval officer threatens to tempt her in a different direction.”

Dear Ms. Beverley,

I’m always up for a revisit to your 18th century Georgian world of the Mallorens. We recently had a discussion here about series and as I mentioned then, I enjoy seeing a few of the past characters but am also happy that Rothgar and Diana are peripheral, mainly mentioned but not present. Portia and Bryght have more face time and nice to see them again after an absence of a few books. As always I’m in love with little period details such as the mantua maker’s fashion dolls, the water systems of London, and how the grand lived. Plus when Georgie and Dracy visit with his Naval pals, I felt as if I were in Mrs. Miggin’s Pie Shoppe! The Perriam family is powerful and clever and knows how to manage the Polite World in which they move. The Countess of Hernescroft staging the morning after the duel is enough to scare lesser men. As well the reminder is there of their influence when the inquest is managed.

The basic plot here is a mix of beauty and the beast, wealth vs want plus a touch of a stalker thrown in. Georgie might be a difficult heroine for people to love. She is dazzling, flirty, showy, loves to be the center of attention and isn’t good at deflecting men away and towards other women. She has two main gal pals but gets along fine with men and is the kind of woman who seems to prefer them and their company. She just doesn’t DO the faux kiss-kiss “let’s do lunch” kind of thing. Men love her but most women don’t, especially any woman who thinks herself pretty. That plus the catty beau monde – ready for the next juicy scandal – ensures Georgie a rough time when she tries to slip back into Society after her mourning period ends. But the woman also has backbone. Society viewed her marriage as a constant party filled with a luscious London town home, clothes to die for and a handsome husband ready to indulge her. What it didn’t see – and would never see – is that it was also an escape hatch from her parents.

Georgie isn’t fluff. She’s made of sterner stuff than that – she’d have to be with that mother. Georgie might flaunt a few rules but she’s well aware of them. She thinks through a problem, sees angles and outcomes and doesn’t fool herself- she is eager to get to the bottom of who is threatening her and – what really got me pumped – she doesn’t go missish at the thought of the villain going down for what she’s suffered through. When push comes to shove, she takes matters into her own hands and delivers justice. True there’s a little breakdown sobbing before this when she seems intent on blaming herself For All but by the end, she appears to have got over that.

To contrast with beautiful Georgie there is Dracy who was handsome – still is when viewed from the correct profile – but who’s lost his perfect looks to a war injury. I kind of like that initially Georgie admits that she’d hate to lose her beauty – after all, it’s what she’s known for. But she’s got the guts to look him straight on and never flinches from his face. Part of her growth over the course of the book is to realize and admit that looks aren’t everything. Dracy has chutzpa and doesn’t hide his face – not that he’d do it anyway after mainly being in the presence of fellow Navy men who would be used to this. You’ve made Dracy a military man and thankfully included this mindset and appropriate details as part of Dracy’s personality – how he’s a man of action when trying to discover who threatens Georgie and then proactively protects her once the threat is identified. But also he doesn’t know the beau monde as well and needs some lessons in estate management. These little landlubber touches make him seem more rounded as a character.

Georgie’s family presents some realism of the day. Her sister in law is ghastly, her sister viewed marriage as a social contract with no thought of love, and Georgie is a marriage pawn – controlled and commanded by her parents. Her first marriage wasn’t great in the sack but while she still loved Dickon, truly mourned him – I smiled at this too, she also mourned the loss of her freedom, the money and the perks. You sprinkle some chilling examples of other couples who had made social mismatches so Georgie has plenty of time to think about the step she’s taking in marrying a man of lower rank. But then it’s not as if Dracy is a candlestick maker – she still will be a Lady Something even beyond her courtesy title as the daughter of an Earl. Then I gotta love a woman who lights up at the thought of tackling her husband’s clusterf*cked household account books . I also picture Georgie enjoying extreme couponing 18th century style.

While Georgie and Dracy contrast in looks, they are alike in personality which is shown from early on. Dracy initially thinks he wants a quiet life in Devon with a placid wife who knows about getting rid of moths and sleeping pig sickness. But does he really? The Earl of Hernescroft pegs Dracy and his military personality which relishes a challenge and wants to be stimulated. This is mirrored in the easy way Georgie and Dracy get along from the very beginning. They jest and joke and laugh and the falling in love seems so easy yet there’s still the money issues which Georgie is honest with herself about. Until her friends point out she loves a challenge and what could be better than the little fixer-upper Dracy has for her in the wilds of Devon? The Countess of Hernescroft’s reaction to her future son in law’s house is hilarious.

I thoroughly enjoyed my yearly visit to the Mallorens and watching Georgie and Dracy work out their differences while delighting in their similarities. Still the business of uncovering the vendetta plot had better hold the reader’s attention or they’ll be bored with this one. In the end, Georgie and Dracy are matched in what counts – love, commonality, boldness, laughter and friendship. B

~Jayne

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I’m sitting here shaking my head at the fact that I’ve some how, some way managed to have not read any of your books. Up til now that is. And this one I read with no blurb to lure me or lead me on. Just your rep and the fact that – as mentioned in the first sentence – yours is a name missing on my “I’ve tried this author” list. After finishing “I’ve Got Your Number,” I agree with your publisher that I lost myself in the story and – throwing this bit in myself – didn’t want it to end.

Poppy Wyatt is frantic. At a luncheon “do” with her bridesmaids and wedding planner, her family heirloom “worth a bloody fortune” engagement ring has gone missing. As she drives the hotel staff mental and sends out a flood of phone texts, her day is capped off when her phone is snatched out of her hand by a drive by thief. Staggering back inside the hotel, she notices a phone tossed in the rubbish bin – a perfectly good phone and once something is thrown away it’s fair game, right? Picking it up Poppy quickly transfers her life to it in the form of her contact list after which she sends out the number to everyone searching for her ring. When the man whose business PA the phone belong(s)(ed) – tense depends on whom you’re talking to – realizes Poppy has it, he wants it back – company property, you know. Poppy quickly spins a deal. She’ll keep the phone for a day until she can replace her own and in the meantime, she’ll forward any texts that are sent to Sam – the businessman – via his now defunct PA. Since Poppy scoots out of the hotel before Sam can do anything, he’s forced to go along.

As texts and phone calls start pouring in, and Poppy begins scrolling back to discover the origins of all these threads in Sam’s life, she can’t help but begin to become involved – it’s just the helpful – okay, slightly nosey – way she is. And honestly she’s doing him a favor to respond to the third or fourth requests some people have sent him. Can the man never answer these? Before long, Poppy thinks she knows as much about Sam as she does about herself. Or does she? Corporate hijinks, pre-wedding jitters and a ton of text messages later will Poppy be walking down the aisle towards the man she thought she would be?

When handed a Chick Lit book, I’ve realized my resistance is pretty much futile. It’s like leaving dark chocolate in front of me and thinking I’m not going to at least sample it. Ain’t gonna happen. Still, even though I’m helpless about starting to read one of them, the story and characters had better grab my attention and interest quickly. And I want something beyond the standard ditzy heroine in London with a crap job who makes a prat of herself.

Poppy’s lost engagement ring accounts for her hyperventilation state and neatly sets up the plot which, I’ll admit, has to be swallowed whole in order for the story to keep going. Sam is a very important businessman but it’s quickly revealed he’s also a nice guy as shown when he helps Poppy ace the intellectual Scrabble game she has to play with her brainiac future in-laws and fiance – via the phone of course. And, in a scene that had me busting out laughing, he helps her get a copy of The Ring made in order to buy her some more time before fessing up. I hope he eventually manages to redeem himself in the eyes of the jewelry store assistants.

Meanwhile, Poppy’s efforts on Sam’s behalf do cross the line a time or four but to her credit, from what she can see about it, she really does feel she’s helping Sam at his workplace. This is followed by Sam helping her build her self confidence as he reminds her that she’s just as important as her famous to-be in-laws and that she does great work at the job she loves helping make people feel better. There’s depth here and I can see both Sam and Poppy growing and becoming better because of the other. They work well together, talk to each other and laugh as well. They see the value in each other and help show that to others as hilariously depicted in the finale wedding fiasco. Those last 40 pages had me on the edge of my seat to see how it would get to where I knew it had to go while simultaneously laughing almost the whole way. No doubt about it, Poppy’s near wedding will be a viral sensation. Poor Reverend Fox will probably need a few swigs from a bottle of something potent to get over the shock. Not since the last wedding in “4 Weddings and a Funeral” have I laughed this hard.

It’s obviously taken me far too long to read one of your books but it’s something I’ve finally corrected. And you can bet that in the future I’ll be queuing up as soon as the new one is available. B+

~Jayne

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“There’s sex, snotty people and flamboyant costumes. What more could you want.” – Spanky and John Go to the Movies.

I’m almost hesitant to recommend this film just because I know a lot of people probably won’t like it. Note I’m not saying you won’t get it, just that you might not like it. I had read many of the reviews in which people who’ve seen the film praise it to the heavens – and also say that many viewers won’t get it – or conversely damn it as totally unwatchable. But with the film also getting heaps of praise for its costuming and music I decided to give it a go.

The plot is very complex so I’m just going to steal what they say at Netflix: “In 17th-century England, aristocratic Mrs. Herbert (Janet Suzman) commissions handsome draughtsman Mr. Neville (Anthony Higgins) to produce a dozen sketches of the family estate to surprise her absent husband. Neville accepts the project – in exchange for 12 sexual favors. The exceedingly smug Neville is in control till Mrs. Herbert’s daughter (Anne Louise Lambert) — who has her own agenda — outfoxes the arrogant artist.”

The film is gorgeous to watch. The costumes, which are exaggerations of the current fashions of that day, are fabulous. As one reviewer said as many ribbons and lace as money could buy and then some. Plus wigs which are fantastic in length as well as amazing in the slight horned shape that some of the men wear – and which is very apropos for one of the men in particular if you know what the phrase “made to wear horns” means.

The Jacobean house and gardens used in the production are beautiful and good use is made of all views and angles. Greenaway mentions that the antique tea set seen in one scene belongs to the owners of the house who kindly allowed them to be used and which were insured for more money than the entire budget of the film. The lighting, which is often just candles or lanterns, deserves praise as well as it helps set the mood for many shots.

Greenaway set many of the scenes up as tableaux with few cuts and changes of viewpoint in order to make them look more like staged plays of the age. And the wide angle often used means that the actors’ faces aren’t close up enough for us to gain a lot of insight into what their characters are thinking – thus requiring the watcher to pay close attention to the many meanings of what is being said. I also love the music which riffs on Purcell.

But it’s the layers within layers of the plot that makes you pay attention. I knew to be looking for the little items which appear in the views that Neville is drawing of the house and gardens. Items which on their own mean nothing but which put all together can make a case for murder. Because, yes you guessed it, this is actually a Glorious Revolution country house murder. Someone is dead, someone is going to get blamed for it and lots of people stand to gain from the death. Greenaway presents all the clues, shows who is responsible without coming right out and saying whodunnit and then has the culprits eliminate all those clues in order to wrap things up. And what had started out as a film showing Neville in control suddenly switches to reveal who has truly been in control all along and exactly what was needed from Neville.

But wait, there’s more. Maybe. Even though Greenaway doesn’t mention this in his commentary on the film, a few reviewers have mentioned that the characters can also stand in for the great political figures and tumultuous situations of the day: William of Orange, James II, Queen Mary, Princess Anne, Prince George of Denmark, George of Hanover and England herself. I must admit I had fun listening for these allusions. There are allegories and symbolism in regard to fruit and paintings. The film tackles issues about Protestants and Catholics, servants and masters, sex and power.

The pace is stately, the camera is fairly static, the dialogue – which the actors deliver with careful pronunciation – is period without being too archly stuffy, there is a moving statue – who is mainly naked and pees in one scene, there is no romantic love involved and one can’t mentally drift off or fast forward at the risk of missing something. In short, there are many reasons this film won’t appeal to a broad audience. But if you’re looking for something lovely to look at, beautiful to listen to and a puzzle which will keep you wondering and thinking – and rethinking – on what you’ve seen, this one is superb.

~Jayne

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The Orchid Affair by Lauren Willig – Another satisfying entry in the Pink Carnation series with a strong, quiet heroine and a glasses wearing beta hero who complement each other as they slowly fall in love while trying to survive the final days of the French Revolution before Napoleon became the Emporer. The villain might be a little obsessive but then so was the one in LES MIS. Full review to be posted.

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Loving a Fairy Godmother by Danielle Monsch – the concept is interesting it’s the execution that failed for me. The hero gets turned into a Fairy Godfather, something that the heroine doesn’t like. But others aren’t happy either and the hero, with help from heroine, has to achieve a HEA or it’s ixna and death. I was enjoying the sexual tension and the sparing between them until the first Issue appeared, namely the dreaded “perhaps if I fuck him it’ll get him out of my system.” I hate it when either a hero or heroine does this. This was closely followed by another Issue which is the “we must fuck for the sake of the plot.” Hate this when it happens too. But I was prepared to continue until the third Issue arose. The HEA which the hero has to achieve involves Cinderella – yes, THAT Cinderella. After dipping into her dreams – which Fairy Godpeople do in order to see how to best go about achieving happy endings – he realizes that she knows nothing about physical relations between men and women and that is part of why she’s so wary of men. This must be fixed before she can be wooed by Prince Charming and the requisite HEA obtained. How are H&H going to go about this? Why let her watch them! Or at least that is what appeared to be in the cards. At this point, in an effort not to have this story ruined for me the way the Gingerbread Man story was for Jane, I tossed in the towel. I did not want a vision of a sexual voyeur Cinderella to need to be bleached out of my brain. Perhaps this isn’t what actually happens but I wasn’t sticking around to find out.

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If It Ain’t Love by Tamara Allen – Sunita has done an excellent round of of this free story (from Smashwords) so I’ll just say that I’m glad I finally read it and wish I hadn’t taken so long about it. Beautiful descriptions and lovely characterization together with a touching plot about peoples’ better natures in the face of the Great Depression equals a novella that I didn’t put down until I’d finished it. Reading this woman’s stories is a delicious treat.

Love and War by Patricia Hagan – this is a reissued, old skool bodice ripper (1979) from Samhain about the American Civil War, a feisty heroine, and, I think, a love triangle between a wimpy Southern gentleman and a Yankee who vows to tame the heroine. The heroine is beautiful, has breasts that can be seen from Saturn and a waist that can be spanned by either hero with one hand. She can also ride, hunt and shoot better than most men and is a dab hand at delivering a calf. She has to do this because their freed black servant announces to her “I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no calf…” After I managed to snap my hanging jaw shut and decide whether or not I wanted to continue the book (this is from page 2, mind you), it slowly, very very slowly slid downhill. Lots of telling and little showing plus an endless replaying of the same three things for the first 107 out of the 618 pages the ebook formatted to on my reader: the heroine’s parents repeatedly bickering and sniping at each other, the heroine sneaking off with the wimpy guy though never losing her virginity as that has to come later, plus the Secesh neighbors arriving at the heroine’s poor homestead to threaten her father into joining the Cause. The story started in the late fall of 1860 and over 100 pages later the damn war had yet to even start! Considering the fact that when I peeked at the end and Sherman was now marching through North Carolina – I knew there was going to be a ton of condensing to get through 5 years of fighting. Fans of meaty historicals might want to check it out – it’s described as a saga – but I had had my fill.

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*****

Let the Right One In – Shot in a palette of blah – so the crimson blood shows up better?, there are no sparkly vampires in this one. Instead Eli the vamp is a perpetually twelve year old girl who moves into an apartment complex with an older man and who then befriends a downtrodden – also – twelve year old named Oskar who is bullied at school. When the older man – who’s been killing to supply Eli with blood – is caught, Eli has to resort to jumping her prey like a jungle cat before messily slurping their blood. The film ends with Oskar and Eli headed off – somewhere – to – I guess – live by themselves though no mention is made about how two twelve year olds are supposed to do this. Whatever romantic feeling I felt was erased by the comment made by another Netflix user who posits that Eli is merely grooming Oskar to take the place of the man who had been her blood supplier. I found the film depressing and boring.

Priceless (Hors de Prix) – A woman who makes a living sponging off of rich older men mistakes a bartender at a ritzy hotel for another mark. By the time she learns the truth, she’s lost her sugar daddy and he’s lost his job and his life savings which he quickly blows through trying to keep her happy. She then hooks up with another man while he dabbles in being a gigolo to a wealthy woman. But true love conquers all and the film ends with them admitting what we’ve known all along – namely they’re in love. In order not to mess with the HEA vibe however, it’s best not to think much beyond this stage as they’re both still penniless and jobless.

William and Mary – This is a British TV series about an undertaker who meets a midwife through a dating agency. It starts nicely then bogs down in the family issues and squabbles as middle class William and working class Mary date, fall in love and attempt to blend their families. William also deals with trying to keep the family business afloat while Mary militantly clashes with her superiors over work conditions. I made it halfway through before Mary’s self righteous selfishness, combined with the increasingly outlandish twists and turns of their families began to irritate and – because those were fairly predictable – bore me.

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2. What Jayne is reading/watching in early September
3. What Jayne’s Been Reading and Watching – November and most of December

In a way I wish I had read Trouble at the Wedding before the first two books in the Abandoned at the Altar series. The Edwardian setting, pairing of the bourgeois heroine from the American South and the titled but impoverished English duke, and mixed cocktail of the marriage for money and the reformed rake plots add up to an ambitious vision. But I’m not sure whether my expectations were set higher after the first two books, or if what struck me as fresh earlier now seems a bit worn, but whatever the reason, I found this third installment to be a bit of a kitchen sink of tropes and clichés, more interesting and successful in the concept than the execution.

Annabel Wheaton may have catapulted from near poverty to great wealth, and from Gooseneck Bend, Mississippi to New York City, following the death of her father, but she still feels like the “poor white trash” she’s been called most of her life. A smart, independent, business-minded young woman who has already been burned by what she thought was true love, Annabel is determined to marry into the British aristocracy, trading her money for a respected title and a sedate and secure life overseeing her husband’s English estate and raising their children. The man she has chosen, Bernard Alistair, Earl of Rumsford, is not particularly exciting, but then that’s the point. Annabel has had her fill of exciting men, and she frankly doesn’t trust them. Instead, she’s looking forward to a life of security, which she is certain will more than compensate for a lack of passionate romantic love.

Not everyone is on board with Annabel and Bernard’s upcoming wedding, however, which is set for six short days away on the ocean liner Atlantic, a compromise solution to the problem of whether to hold the ceremony in New York or London. One of the dissenters is one of Annabel’s trustees, her uncle Arthur, who believes that Annabel deserves a better match and is determined to get Annabel to see how ill-advised her choice of husband is. Which brings Christian Du Quesne, the handsome, rakish, and nearly broke Duke of Scarborough into the mix, hired by Arthur to talk Annabel out of the wedding in exchange for a half a million American dollars, a sum that will substantially rehabilitate the family estate, which fell into deep debt under the control of his older brother Andrew, whose death has brought the ignominious and unenthusiastic second son into the title.

Christian does not have to stretch the truth in articulating his disdainful view of life in England, especially for the dissolute aristocracy, and once he makes the acquaintance of the lushly beautiful Annabel, his attraction to her, combined with his dislike of Rumsford, generates an urgent personal interest for Christian in convincing Annabel that she doesn’t want what she thinks she wants. Annabel, who is well aware of her tendency to fall for the bad boy, doesn’t want to believe the things Christian is telling her about the unsuitability of life as an English countess, and especially as the Countess of Rumsford, but because Christian promises her he will tell her all the unwritten rules of the life she is choosing, she cannot stay away from him long enough to remain immune to either his charms or his admonitions.

As is the case in many Romances featuring two outsiders, Christian and Annabel have a rapport that is evident to both of them, despite their mutual insistence that they would never suit as a couple. Still, that rapport creates a kind of fast friendship, which tolerates a great deal of mutual honesty and fosters a powerful mutual attraction. Christian tells Annabel of his own past, married to a young heiress who killed herself after miscarrying their baby, while Christian was traveling and partying with friends. Annabel tells Christian of her own humiliation at the hands of the town rich boy, who took Annabel’s virginity and then unceremoniously dumped her.  Which makes Annabel even more determined to go through with the wedding and take the life she wants, and even as Christian admits defeat and drinks himself into a stupor, he inexplicably finds himself standing up at the wedding and calling it a “farce and a lie,” humiliating Annabel a second, devastating time and necessitating, in Christian’s mind, a proposal to save Annabel’s reputation.

But Annabel isn’t going to meekly accept Christian’s loveless sacrifice, and instead she engineers a strategy by which Christian will retroactively become one of Annabel’s trustees, thus making his wedding protest one of avuncular protection rather than scandalous insinuation. And in the meantime, Christian’s sister Sylvia volunteers to bring Annabel more fully into London society, where she can make an appropriate match and ultimately resuscitate her original ambition.

In many Romances, all of this set-up would have occurred in the first quarter or third of the novel, with the remainder of the story dedicated to unraveling Annabel and Christian’s true feelings for each other. Actually, many novels would likely turn the plot into one of marriage of convenience between the protagonists. That this particular plot occurs at the halfway point of the novel is indicative of its ambition, as does Annabel’s incredibly independent focus and resolve:

“First of all, let me say I owe you my most sincere apologies. My conduct was reprehensible”

“Which part?” she asked in a tart voice. “The part where you agreed to take money for talking me out of marrying Bernard? Or –“

“You know about that?”

“Uncle Arthur told me. Needless to say, he’s not feeling inclined to pay you that money now, so is that what you’re apologizing for? Hoping he’ll give it to you anyway? Or maybe it’s breaking up my wedding that you’re sorry about? Or maybe it’s because you called it a farce and a lie, and hurt my reputation? Or maybe it was the fact that you hauled off and kissed me last night? Which of those reprehensible things is the one you’re apologizing for?”

. . .

“We should become engaged.”

. . .

“Thank you for your gallant effort to save the day,” and the sweet drawling sarcasm in her voice told him his hope of an easy solution was rather out the window. “I appreciate it so very much, Your Grace. But I think I’ll pass.”

“You’re saying no?” He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised. No doubt she felt a bit let down by the idea, for he knew he hadn’t made any effort to put a romantic gloss on it. Nonetheless, she couldn’t really refuse. “But we have to become engaged. It’s the only way to avert a scandal.”

“It’s not the only way. It’s the simplest way, and the easiest way for you because it doesn’t affect your life at all.”

I really liked this Annabel. I was even willing to overlook the sitcom sorghum character of her Southern accent and idioms, as well as the cliché-ridden prose and conversation. I liked the fact that the book took a somewhat unexpected turn at this point and that Annabel seemed to be the engineer of her own rescue.

Then it all fell apart for me. Annabel and Christian find themselves in that push-pull of attraction and resistance, with Annabel literally begging Christian to stay away and then feeling disappointed when he complies. Christian is torn between doing “the right thing” and pursuing his own desires, even as he knows he doesn’t want another marriage to a woman who supposedly deserves better than a rake like him. Rinse and repeat.

I have recently been thinking about certain Romance character pairings where you have an almost unresolveable conflict. For example, a heroine who deserves to be loved for who she is and a hero who is destined to let any woman who loves him down. As often as we see these kinds of conflicts, I’m not sure they’re usually resolved by means that don’t seem almost supernatural, often in the form of a crisis that clues the hero in to how much he loves the heroine and wants to be the man she deserves. I have, of late, been pining for more realistic resolutions to these complex conflicts, and one of the things that frustrated me about Trouble at the Wedding was the way in which the dramatic tension in the second half of the novel is generated in part by Annabel’s increasing desolation over the depth of her feelings for Christian and his inability to love her in return.

Not only does this dynamic weaken Annabel’s character and undermine her independent resolve, it accomplishes this by manipulating the reader into desperately hoping that Christian will come to his senses and accept his own feelings are more than simple lust. It became a problematic dynamic for me in this novel because I kept feeling like I was put in a position where I had to depend on Christian for Annabel’s happy ending, which contravened so much of what appealed to me about her character. While that is typical Romance form, it was constructed at the expensive of a character who, for me, at least, was appealing to Christian for that precise independence that the romantic trajectory of the novel undermined.

Part of the issue may have been the relatively short time and page frame in which the second half of the novel proceeds. But I also think there was a difficult pairing of plot and character ambition and genre mimesis that went too far out of balance in the second half of the book. I also felt that there was more infodump in this novel than in the previous two, with passages that sounded almost like they were powered by cinematic adaptations of Edith Wharton novels or Wikipedia:

The door banged again and the young woman below looked back over her shoulder. “There you are at last!” she exclaimed as a girl about ten years old came into view, her age evidenced not only by her more diminutive stature, but also by the shorter length of her skirt, the sailor motif of her dress, and the fact that her dark hair was not put up.

As much as I appreciated the details provided, their integration didn’t feel as easy as in previous novels set during this same time, and that added to the kitchen sink feel of the novel for me. Still, had Annabel’s happiness not depended so very much on Christian’s change, I think I would have overlooked so much else in the novel. But that substantial disappointment made other elements seem more pronounced, undermining my appreciation and enjoyment of the more unexpected and ambitious elements of the novel. C

~ Janet

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Related posts:

1. REVIEW: Wedding of The Season by Laura Lee Guhrke
2. REVIEW: Secret Desires of A Gentleman by Laura Lee Guhrke
3. REVIEW: Scandal of the Year by Laura Lee Guhrke

We at Dear Author get sent a lot of requests to review books and many of us have lamented at the frequency of Jane Austen themed ones. Yet, despite that, another reviewer and I were interested in the description of your book “Definitely Not Mr. Darcy.” A reality dating show with a 1812 theme and $100,000 at stake for the lucky contestant who “nabs” the handsome Regency guy? Could be fun.

Chloe Parker is a 39, divorced single mother with a failing business who desperately needs to win the grand prize of the contest which she’s been selected to be a part of. A long time Jane Austen fan, she can quote the books, knows the details of life in Austen England and thinks having the chance to actually live as a Jane Austen heroine for the duration of the show is a dream come true. But the reality of life without hot showers, deodorant, modern bras and hampered by chaperones turns out to be more than she bargained for.

And then there’s her main rival among the contestants who won’t stop at breaking the rules but stoops to sabotaging Chloe at every turn. If that weren’t enough, Chloe finds that the accomplishments of a Regency Miss are harder and less interesting than they appear on film. Sebastian Wrightman is a hunk in his skintight breeches though and with her business needing a serious cash infusion, Chloe pursues him like a hound does a hare. If only she could stop thinking of his intelligent, younger, and penniless, brother Henry.

The PW blurb for the book promises sidesplitting faux pas as Chloe attempts to play a young woman on the hunt for a man in 1812 England. Well, amusing at times? Yes. Bust a gut laughing? No, not me. It’s also kind of sad in a way to watch as Chloe’s infatuation with the era is slowly stripped away though after watching some of the historical “reality” shows on PBS and the BBC, I kind of knew it was coming. Modern comforts are hard to let go of, as Chloe discovers. But along the way, she does discover something much more interesting – herself. She also unearths some business savvy and a well of inspiration that will allow her to save her business herself which I quite liked.

Now as for the romance…even if I hadn’t been a bad girl and skipped to the end to confirm my guess on who Chloe would actually fall for, as the story progressed it would have been pretty obvious. I was surprised that she didn’t bother to Google Sebastian Wrightman before leaving Chicago but then the book would have been over before it began. I like the man she falls for and who falls for her but since the reader must be kept in the dark about a lot of things, we never see his POV, or in fact anyone else’s, throughout the book. But, once Chloe knows what is going on, I have to agree wholeheartedly with her reaction. Clotted cream to the face wouldn’t be enough for me, though the way she tells him off in public is satisfying. Still, to be manipulated that way no matter what the reason would leave a bad enough taste in my mouth that any forgiveness would be a damn long time in coming. I was reminded of Patient Griselda from The Clerk’s Tale – a story I’ve always despised.

As a humorous tale about what life in Regency England was really like, “Definitely Not Mr. Darcy” has its moments and entertained me. As a romance, the hero leaves a lot to be desired no matter how much money he was or how much he enjoys Jane Austen books. I finished the book thinking Chloe deserves more which is not a good thing for this genre. C

~Jayne

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Related posts:

1. REVIEW: Darcy’s Story by Janet Aylmer
2. REVIEW: Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart by Beth Pattillo
3. REVIEW: Me and Mr. Darcy by Alexandra Potter

It’s no secret that I love your very British voice, your brilliant characters, all completely different from each other, and your wonderful stories. So I was excited to see you had another story out. And part of me thinks this one is different from your others, but then, I don’t think you really have a “style” or a theme you keep coming back to, or a particular way of writing.

This book is a Gothic romance. It’s a contemporary-set m/m Gothic with some fascinating twists, but it felt to me like the characters were being pushed to act in or even to BE certain ways in order to fulfill the Gothic conventions and requirements. The characters were true to themselves, don’t get me wrong. They don’t act out of character at all — I think you’re too good an author for that. It’s just that their personalities are constructed to fill a particular role in the novel, rather than constructed organically.

Will Golding is visiting his old summer vacation place, the Isle of Wight, with his best friend Edward Barrie, or Baz. They’re there because Baz, a journalist, is supposedly researching a book about ghosts on the island. Except he’s not really. What he’s really researching is a notorious, decades-old murder/suicide, but he doesn’t tell Will that. Will is a personal trainer in London and he’s had a crush on Baz for years. They’re friends with very occasional benefits (almost entirely Will blowing Baz and Baz reciprocating with a handjob). Will knows he’ll never get more but was looking forward to the week with Baz nonetheless. So he’s pretty ticked off when Baz immediately takes up with a woman at the campsite they’re at.

The first night on the island, Will sees a “ghost” swimming in the ocean. He realizes later, when Baz interviews him, that his “ghost” was really horror writer Marcus Devereux, owner of the local “house on the hill.” Will thought Marcus was a “ghost” because Marcus has albinism, which means he doesn’t go out during the day because it’s too bright for his eyes…but also because he suffers from severe social anxiety. Marcus is also kept virtual prisoner by his guardian, Leif, who is very overbearing, even when he’s not there, keeping Marcus psychologically isolated.

The problem with the story is that Baz is an asshole, Will’s a bit thick, and Marcus is a shrinking violet who can’t stand up to his overbearing guardian. I liked Will and Marcus when they were fumbling their ways to each other. Suffering from social anxiety as he does, Marcus isn’t very good with people. So he attempts to reconstruct a scene he had with Will:

But while he was supposed to be writing about scary things happening, all he could think about was Will. He kept turning the evening’s conversation over in his mind. Had he behaved reasonably? Damn it. Pretend this was a scene in a book. A conversation between two characters. Call them…call them Martin and Bill. How would one expect the reader to react to Martin’s behavior?

Marcus started to type.

Scene: Bill has just helped Martin, in manner of Willoughby in Sense and Sensibility (is this foreshadowing? Might Bill turn out to be Willoughby-type rogue and/or cad?)

Martin: Thanks for helping me. Why don’t you come in for a drink?

Bill: Thanks, I will.

Martin: *Leaps upon Bill and sexually harasses him*

Bill: Why don’t we get to know each other first? *Performs highly competent First Aid* Oh, and I think you should know my friend has been asking strange questions about you.

Martin: *In manner of outraged maiden aunt* Get out of my house and never darken my door again.

Oh God. Oh God Oh God Oh God. Marcus wanted to pull a cushion over his face. Maybe he’d suffocate and die and not have to live with this excruciating embarrassment… He’d been an idiot. Will must think…Oh God, Marcus did not want to dwell on what Will must think of him.

Marcus and Will together are sweet, endearing, and funny. Will is utterly unable not to be perfectly forthright. If something’s bothering, he comes right out with it. Marcus is trying to figure out how to have a relationship. Will thinks Marcus is beautiful, Marcus loves how safe he feels with Will. They’re great together and I enjoyed those parts of the book.

But Baz is too much of an asshole and Will too much of an idiot when he deals with his friend, and Marcus too tentative with his guardian for me to enjoy the whole story. And there was too much mystery-type sleuthing of Baz and Will interviewing people all over the island about Marcus’s story. This is very well done, in fact — Marcus would never tell Will about the story, because he’s too private. He doesn’t have to break character for us to get the story, and that’s great. But it doesn’t really forward the relationship at all. Or tell us much else about Marcus’s and Will’s characters, besides the fact that Will is a bit too stupid to figure out what Baz is doing, which was just annoying.

And then the murder attempts start and it all just gets in the way of Will and Marcus together and I didn’t much care for it all. I still loved the two main characters, but I personally don’t like mysteries — go out of my way to avoid them — and this felt too much like a mystery to me. So if readers like mystery that’s more like suspense, actually, with a lot of Gothic thrown in, with their romance, they’ll probably jump all over this. I…don’t. But that’s me.

Grade: B-

Best regards,
-Sarah

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Related posts:

1. REVIEW: Camwolf by J.L. Merrow
2. REVIEW: Muscling Through by J.L. Merrow
3. NOVELLA REVIEW: Pricks and Pragmatism by J.L. Merrow

Though I’ve been back to reading romance for over 15 years now, there are still way too many authors I’ve yet to try. In one of the latest big ol’ boxes of books that Jane sent me was a copy of your newest book “A Catered Affair.” For some reason I don’t examine too closely, a blurb about a Big Event gone Horribly Wrong will always snag my attention and the featured one here promised to be a doozy. With a public meltdown to look forward to, I settled down to enjoy the show.

London lawyer Tally and her doctor fiance Josh have finally set the date which propels her mother and Nana Ida into a frenzy of Jewish wedding planning. Tally’s been aware of Josh’s long issues with commitment due to his father walking out on the family when Josh was a teen but everything seems to be “Go” and “Full Steam Ahead.” The dress is beautiful, the flowers look fabulous, the food promises to be divine and the reception for 200 ought to be the culmination of a wonderful day. Except that Josh is a no show.

Blindsided Tally decides to let the reception go on, after all the food is already there and paid for, and with the help of more than one bottle of wine, she makes it through. When the evening winds down though, all she wants to do is be alone and lick her wounds. Until she spies the caterer, Kenny. Drunk enough not to care, she snags him for one last dance, propositions him, passes out on him and wakes up the next morning to discover he spent the night with her in the wedding suite holding her hair back and the champagne bucket under her head as she hurled – repeatedly.

Despite their rocky start, the two find common ground in both having just been dumped by their S.O.s and begin to spend mate-y evenings together. But they’re Just Friends as Tally tells everyone ad nauseam who senses the vibes they produce when together. Tally knows from her parent’s experience that two people need to be well matched for a HEA future and Kenny just doesn’t fit her preconceived plans for a hubby. But could Tally be wrong about who her Mr. Right is and will she wise up in time to keep him?

From my experience reading lots of other Chick Lit-ish books, I expected that the set up for the story would take roughly 30-40 pages then it would settle into the post-bolting-groom stage for the majority of the book. After all, from the blurb we know that Josh is not going to be the hero. Yet, in a move that some might find refreshing and others dislike, you give us 100+ pages of Tally and Josh’s relationship plus wedding arranging. I find myself in the “dislike” camp and wondered why the need for that amount of space devoted to a we-know-to-be-doomed couple. I mean it just went on and on before the kablooey scene.

After Tally’s reception implosion leading to the getting-to-know-you night with Kenny, the book progresses more like I’m used to reading. Only I discovered that there are major aspects of Tally I didn’t like. I don’t mind a flawed heroine but Tally takes the wedding cake as far as her romance with Kenny. Tally, for lack of a better way to put it, is a snob. And she’s a snob for the last 250 pages of the book. Tally is amusing in that underplayed English sarcastic humor way, she’s a hard working lawyer who deeply cares about her clients, she loves her family and is a great friend but…she’s a snob. And her seemingly overnight change (see more of this below) doesn’t work for me. Kenny is sweet, a hard worker, a good friend, seems to be a great lover who takes pride in his cunnilingual (is that a word?) talent and, in my opinion even at the end of the book, far too good for Tally. That’s bad in a romance book.

The book and its characters are chock full of issues. Issues are good as they make the people seem more well rounded to me but! those issues need careful resolving for me to keep that realistic feeling. That doesn’t happen here. It’s full on problems/dilemmas both professional and personal for most of the characters up to about the last 20 pages of the novel. Then, with a wave of the authorial wand, everything is suddenly Happy Days and resolved too neatly and too perfectly. It’s almost Mary Sue in its perfection. Too easy, too pat and too unrealistic. No one’s life smooths out this way. And this goes double for the Big Mis final confrontation scene which rears its ugly head complete with protestations that the relationship is over for all time only for Twue Love to hang a 180 degree turn the very next day!

My disappointment in the opening third of the book, coupled with not truly liking the heroine’s treatment of the hero for the next – almost – two thirds of the book finished up with a rush to solve all the conflicts/issues so that sunshine can beam from everyone’s ass leads me to an unhappy grade for “A Catered Affair.” Sorry but D for this one.

~Jayne

Related posts:

1. CONVERSATIONAL REVIEW: An Affair in Paradise by Matthew Haldeman-Time
2. REVIEW: A Black Tie Affair by Sherrill Bodine
3. REVIEW: An Affair Before Christmas by Eloisa James

Before I started this book, I hoped that my reading experience wouldn’t continue the pattern of the previous three books – loved “Inheritance,” thought “Engagement” was just okay, enjoyed “Invitation.” In other words, up then down then up then maybe down again. Well, I liked “Homecoming” but definitely not as much as books one or three.

Newlyweds Penny Nichols Laidley and her husband Jeremy have just returned to their home base in London from an extended honeymoon when their next sleuthing case lands in their laps. Despite their vow to each other to carefully consider taking on any cases involving either family or Very Important People, this investigation promises to do both. Penny’s grandmother willed her lovely Cornish estate to the small town of Port St. Francis with the idea of the town using it for the good of the community. They’ve done this for years but now the place, indeed the entire town, is at risk from developers who want to spiff it up and thus probably run up property taxes to the point that the natives and working class people of the area will be priced out of the market.

A certain Royal Personage along with the desperate locals are hoping Penny and Jeremy can find proof that Will Shakespeare did indeed Sleep There and thereby qualify the estate for protection from the massive Improvement Plans the sleazy and slightly scary developers have for it. With the hopes of the town riding on them, can Penny and Jeremy save the day?

This is a good series for people interested in mystery plus sleuthing plus history plus some romance but without the eeevil villains often found in romantic suspense books. It continues to feature more “off the usual beaten path” locations – in this case Cornwall rather than being totally located in London. I also like that the mystery involves something that’s not too far fetched and which is part of the location. Penny’s knowledge of history and antiquities plus Jeremy’s legal skills together with something that’s already in the area are what save the day rather than some “rabbit out of a hat” unbelievable solution to the problem.

I had some problems in “Engagement” with the way facts needed for the case were worked into the story and that is also the case here. At times it seemed like I was reading a travelogue of Cornwall. I am all for tidbits of local color in a story but lots of the stuff here just comes across as “gee whiz, look at this fun trivia!” At times Jeremy and Penny split up to research and investigate and their breathless reports to each other come off more as school research papers. Some of their dialogue also sounds too earnest as if they’re actors in a drama class. Also Penny’s mother is English and she’s vacationed in Cornwall before moving there so some of the things she appears to be ignorant of don’t make sense. More than once I thought, “I’ve never been to England but even *I* know [insert fact] so why doesn’t Penny?”

Jeremy and Penny are still in the besotted newlywed phase which is fine with me. I enjoyed their teasing as well as Jeremy’s determination to protect Penny during an event that occurs with their Cousin Rollo – who does always seem to be around when the best brandy is being opened and poured. Yet, it was almost a relief when they actually had a bit of a tiff since up til then these two were almost more sympatico then identical twins.

Even though this book didn’t quite match my hopes for it, I’m glad that the series is still ongoing and – I hope – will continue to do so. Intelligence and brains solve the conundrums rather than shoot outs and though Jeremy and Penny might be in danger at times, they’re never really in serious peril of their lives. There are times when I’m in the mood for sensual and times when I’m not and the “A Rather…” books provide a sweet, no sex mystery series. With Sir Francis now on board to help, I’m sure Nichols & Laidley will be up to something interesting soon. C

~Jayne

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Related posts:

1. REVIEW: A Rather Curious Engagement by C.A. Belmond (7/08)
2. REVIEW: A Rather Charming Invitation by C. A. Belmond
3. REVIEW: A Rather Lovely Inheritance by C.A. Belmond

What caught my attention about this book is that you, and English author, are writing an American heroine. I’m so used to the reverse – especially historicals – that I wanted to see how well you’d pull it off. Um, still a few issues and / or word choices here or there to give the game away but those didn’t end up being the main issues I had with the story. Let me get to that in a minute.

Honor has arrived in England and rented a small house near Brighton for a few months to get away legal issues dogging her from things that happened at home in Connecticut. Her introduction to Martyn, her landlady’s relative isn’t a pretty one as Honor discovers that falling asleep for hours in the sun leads to nasty sunburns wherever you might be. Now this handsome man’s first view of her is as a lobster red woman two shakes from sunstroke.

Honor’s stated intention for coming is to find out information about her English mother who abandoned her as an infant. Who is the woman, where is she and why did she up and leave with no further contact for all these years? While searching for those answers, Honor takes menial jobs to pay the rent and begins to fall for Martyn who returns the interest until he discovers something that initially puts him off a romance with Honor.

As Honor begins to fit into everyday life in the small English town, she and Martyn finally give into their feelings. But when old secrets and past relationships come home to roost, will they even want to work out a future?

Honor does come across as more American than English yet because she’s half English and – here’s the important part – has apparently spent lots of time in England – I would expect, and did find, more Englishness to her than I would expect from someone who had no ties to the country and who hadn’t been there. Yet, there are UK English phrases in her speech that threw me as well as UK spellings I found jarring such as in an email from her US father. Cases for suitcases, “down tools” for stopping work, prawns for shrimp – all these struck me as things the average American wouldn’t say.

One thing, as an American, that I wondered about was the ending of the small town names in the area – Rottingdean, Eastingdean, Saltdean. I would have been curious about that and inquired into it. I had to laugh at how the locals were ready to rip off American tourists.

Honor seems to drift. She drifts into a relationship with her husband Stef because of their childhood past and how he protected her from bullies. But I don’t recall her ever saying she was madly in love with Stef. She puts off contacting her family and ending the relationship with Stef until events force her to do that. Even after Stef shows up in the story, she still sort of drifts around dealing with him being there and creating havoc. Honestly, this annoys me about her and seems to be something that is habitual for her. When she seemed almost ready to let Stef blackmail her into another go at their marriage, I wanted to smack her.

I do like how Honor doesn’t back down in certain situations like when attacking the bullies with fish and chips and then telling Martyn’s friend off when he lewdly inquires about her sexual fantasies. This part jibs with her statement that she has anger management issues while her drifting around relationship with Stef doesn’t. But she does finally deal with Stef once and for all before starting over with Martyn so I guess she learns something over the course of the book and puts it into practice.

Then there’s the whole thing Big Secret. There are scads of clues there but, wow, how can Honor manage for that long and not give any clue about it to anyone, even in her private thoughts? And when Martyn, bless his heart, finds out I can understand his anger. Honor’s reasons for keeping her secret just don’t match with the sheer “ick” factor floating around from all this.

Martyn’s family background is Catherine Cookson – and weird. It took me aback for a while after the technicals about it got explained. Both of them had bizarre family backgrounds but still had loving family members just the same. Though I honestly doubt the FBI would have gone after Honor’s mother had she taken Honor with her. Good for Martyn that he doesn’t want to get involved with a married woman on principle. Just because he’s gorgeous, doesn’t mean he’s a dog. Thank God Martyn tells Honor to sort her relationship with Stef out before they get involved. Martyn is initially attracted to Honor because she’s hot though he skitters away when he learns she’s married and doesn’t resume anything physical until she tells him her marriage is off. They feel a physical connection – that part is obvious but when does it slip into something deeper? I’m not sure I felt this bit.

As an exercise in how well you can write an American heroine, I think you did okay but with room for improvement. It certainly is an eye opening reverse example of what UK readers have complained about from portrayals of their own by American authors. However, the Major Reveal and the flow towards the HEA in the romantic relationship though are what ultimately didn’t work well for me. C+

~Jayne

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Related posts:

1. REVIEW: Starting Over by Sue Moorcroft
2. REVIEW: All that Mullarkey by Sue Moorcroft
3. REVIEW: Freedom’s Touch (Legacy of the Celtic Brooch Book 2) by Sarita Leone

Unnatural Fire by Fidelis Morgan – I picked this one up and enjoyed it though I didn’t love it like a long lost rich relative. See posted review.

Swept Off Her Feet by Hester Browne – This one hit all the right notes for me and makes me determined to see what else this author has already out there. Second or maybe third generation Chick Lit style with Scottish reeling! See posted review.

A Catered Affair by Sue Margolis – A bit different in story timeline than I was expecting and not in a good way. The heroine also didn’t work for me until too late to believe her sudden change. Full review to follow.

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Cafe du Jour by Lillian Darcy – I think this will be a love it or leave it book for most. The writing style and “feel” of the book worked for me as one woman’s exploration of her life and her sister’s recovery from a horrific road accident. Though a romance is promised, it comes way at the end and felt like a tack on to me. Full review to follow.

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Make Me Believe by Crystal Jordan – hot hair dresser is herded together with hot firefighter by paranormal forces for lots of hot sex. My interest in the story was to see how the author would get two romance gun shy characters together. With lots of sex, that’s how. Full Review to follow.

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*****

Confetti – this is a mockumentary of themed weddings and the need for couples to have that unique wedding that sets them apart from all others. Sometimes the simplest weddings are the best. I think this would be enjoyed by people who’ve liked “Waiting for Guffman” or “Best in Show.” I saw lots of UK actors I like and had a great time. Warning – one of the couples practice “naturalism” and there’s tons of full frontal here.

Sanjuro – I went ahead and changed my mind, as I warned I do, and watched this as my next Kurosawa film. Though I’d read how much more of a comedy this is than Yojimbo, I actually found it a bit darker in the plot and ending. In Yojimbo, both sides the ronin was playing off each other were bad which made him the only good guy and I didn’t feel that it would be wrong for either side to lose. Here the sides were good vs evil and a family was at stake. The final fight only brought home the wise words the older woman stated earlier in the film which I will paraphrase as: powerful warriors need to be careful as when they unleash their killing skills, people die.

Mrs Miniver – Someone – forgive me I can’t recall who or on what Friday Movie thread – recommended I try this one. I think this one stands as a testament to how life was in England at the time – boy have things changed – and as an example of the “chin up, we can do it” type of films being made to lift spirits and keep the home front bravely supporting the troops during WWII. It also shows its age and not in a good way at times.

The Harmonists – this is about an six man all male singing group in Germany during the turbulent late 1920s and early 1930s. Half the group is Jewish so we see how the changing politics affected the country through their experiences. It has lovely period costumes, lots of music (I think original recordings were used) but the film has the feel of being almost totally shot on a soundstage which gave it a very artificial feel to me.

Related posts:

1. What Jayne is reading/watching in mid August
2. What Jia is Reading, Week of August 8
3. What Jane Has Been Reading, Week of August 29

“I love you, Victor Maynard.” – Roger, a parrot

It’s got a hit man, an inept thief, a forged Rembrandt, a lost young man, the second best assassin in the business, a mother with high standards, a pink cat, a stolen bullet strafed car and a lesson about cleaning your gun. What more could you want in a film?

Victor Maynard (Bill Nighy) is 54 years old, the best assassin in the business and assigned to kill Rose (Emily Blunt) who pulled an art heist fast one on Mr. Ferguson (Rupert Everett) a ruthless real estate tycoon. But as Victor follows her – do I see a smile? Yes, I do – he is intrigued by her free and easy “all for me” ways and doesn’t pull the trigger. As his exacting mother tells him, in order to restore the family reputation, he needs to finish the hit. But when he goes after Rose again, it’s to discover that someone else has been assigned the job.

Ferguson’s bodygoons botch the business and Victor, Rose and Tony (Rupert Grint) – a young man who witnessed the whole thing – find themselves on the run from Dixon (Martin Freeman) the second best assassin, now hired to kill them. Can Victor stay one step ahead of Dixon, instruct Tony as his new apprentice, win the girl and get his mother’s (Eileen Atkins) approval of her?

Bill Nighy’s movies either work for me or spectacularly don’t (Glorious 39, Pirate Radio). In this case, like “Love Actually,” it works brilliantly. Here he plays Victor, a man as stiff as a board, who shrink wraps his furniture – and I don’t just mean the upholstered pieces – but who can give a mean foot massage and who looks after his mother. It’s a joy to watch him slowly thaw even as he’s trying not to strangle Rose who is unlike anyone in his life, ever.

Emily Blunt plays Rose as someone who in a romance novel would be described as delightfully infuriating. Just watch her larcenous stroll down a street market or listen to her droll sarcasm and shoulder shrugging nonchalance in the face of Victor’s uptight efforts to keep her alive. But she wakes Victor up and makes him question where he is in life. Then “just enough” happens to make her fall in love with him.

Rupert Grint is sort of a Robin to Batman in the movie. Grint gives Tony a youthful, earnest enthusiasm that also catches Victor’s interest and in a way he becomes almost the son to Victor’s father figure. He and Rose get to squabble like children as they both breathe life into Victor’s up-til-now quiet life. Eileen Atkins is brilliant as usual. I love this woman in almost everything I’ve seen her in. She’s determined that the family standards be maintained and don’t underestimate her with an eight inch knife or a gun.

Rupert Everett is delightfully sinister as the thwarted tycoon who is more dangerous than the goons around him. As Dixon, Martin Freeman is given a lesser role and unfortunately, I don’t think as an assassin he’s nearly as interesting as Victor. Though his goon is quite funny at times.

There are so many moments in the film I love. Listen out for some football commentary which also applies to what’s going on between Victor and Rose at the moment. And watch for the crib mobile that Victor’s father made for him and the parrot who overhears too much. And definitely pay attention to the French phrases Victor is practicing – not only are some hysterically funny in relation to his hits but they’re also poignantly telling of his emotional state.

So should a hit man, a thief and an apprentice hit man be rewarded in the end with success and the beginning of “one big happy family?” Oh, yes indeed. I might wish that the deus ex machina wasn’t as blatantly telegraphed, that Grint weren’t quite so clueless at times, that the second best assassin had as much flare as Victor and that there was a commentary tract – this movie just cries out for one – but overall I’ve enjoyed it each time I’ve watched it. B+

~Jayne

Related posts:

1. Friday Film Review: Corpse Bride
2. Friday Film Review: Grosse Pointe Blank
3. Friday Film Review: Moonstruck

I had started reading the first book in the Countess Ashby de la Zouche mystery series a few weeks ago but had put it down for other books. With an indefinite power outage from Hurricane Irene mucking up my day, I decided to apply myself and finish it. Once I refreshed myself about the basics of the plot, the book flew by.

Lady Anastasia Ashby de la Zouche is on the far side of 50 in 1699 England. She’s also somewhat unstable financially and, along with her loyal maidservant Alpiew and somewhat loyal retainer Godfrey, she lives in her lifehold house in London. Reduced to selling society gossip to a weekly news sheet, she jumps at the chance offered by a suspicious wife, Elizabeth Wilson, to discover what the woman’s husband has been up to these past few months.

After following the man for less than 48 hours, Lady Asbhy and Alpiew already have a whole host of bizarre behavior to sort out. At the roughly 48 hour mark things turn bloody as they stumble across his corpse and first Lady Ashby then Mrs. Wilson are arrested for the crime. Though she’s quickly cleared and released, Lady Ashby and Alpiew are in a race against the justice system to save a woman they believe innocent of killing her husband as they attempt to find out who killed Wilson and why.

When I mentioned this book in my reading post, a few people commented about how bawdy it is and agreed with my description of “warts and all” 17th century life. No hygiene, caked on makeup, privies, horse dung, spoiled food, muck of every description – it’s all here and waiting to dazzle the reader. There’s also a wealth of period detail that doesn’t condescend too much to those who don’t know it nor, I would think, would overly bore those who are already in the know. Yet there are also anachronisms – deliberate, or not? – that I easily picked out which then makes me wonder about the rest of it. I’m no expert on the era and I don’t think any of these would affect the plot but historical sticklers might get their feathers ruffled.

As the story progresses clues begin to pile up but nothing begins to add up until very late. When all the clues do begin to fall into place things get wild with all sorts of bizarre occurrences and people who are and aren’t what they seem. The end is a crazy ride to the finish and only then can the reader sit back and think “that was weird and what about….?” Loose ends have to be tied up with information that I’m not sure how Lady Ashby could have gotten about what the dead man saw and did that lead to his death. But I will say that the plot depends on things such as alchemy and the succession which would have been important in the day.

When reading a mystery, liking the protagonists is as important to me as the plot and how the mystery is solved. In Lady Ashby and Alpiew, I think you’ve created two multifaceted people. They’ve got strengths and weaknesses but also intelligence and that drive to know the truth and see justice done. Once “Unnatural Fire” gets going, it’s compelling to keep reading and try to figure out the complicated plot. In order to discover “whodunit” and why, the reader has to remember to trace the usual path of money, power and revenge which, honestly, really hasn’t changed much whether in that fascinating age or this. B-

~Jayne

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Related posts:

1. REVIEW: Demon’s Fire by Emma Holly
2. REVIEW: Celtic Fire by Joy Nash
3. REVIEW: Fire and Ice by Julie Garwood