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SB Sarah Invades

Hello, Dear Author readers! I don’t know how much you know about me, Candy, Jane, and the other women who run Smart Bitches and Dear Author, but we are some busy, busy women. Jane and I along with Dr. Sarah and many others are parents with full time jobs outside the home, and in between all the responsibilities that entails, we also help run web communities like this one and the currently offline hot pink house of Bitchery. One would think that I’d be happy to have two days off while the site gets a behind-the-scenes upgrade and some routine maintenance.

OH MY HOLY CRAPPING PLATYPUS I MISS MY BLOG.

So, I’m over here now. I have a login and access to the back end of Dear Author and while I know fuckall about Word Press I want to run off and be alone with it for awhile. Our site runs on Expression Engine, which is pretty spiffy but requires a presumed and sustained knowledge of PHP and the EE tag language to do tricksy stuff. WP is like, “Hi. Wanna blog? Ok. There you go!” Wow, WP, you are some sexy stuff. I might have to hang out back here for awhile.

So while I’m here, what shall I do? Review a book? Nah, that’s pretty much covered. Do the pee-pee dance of anticipation over what crazy ass things Amazon.com might reveal on Monday? Meh. I know! I’ll embarrass the ever living shit out of Jane!

Oh, this is going to be funcakes.

I’m continually in awe of what Jane accomplishes. The organization. The ideas. Seriously, she’s like a one-woman thinktank of awesome. If she wasn’t wearing a cape and defending her state on a daily basis, she’d be sequestered with a laptop, a wireless card and a cell phone so all her ideas (and base) would belong to the mad scientist who stole her away. From book sales opportunities to marketing techniques to examinations of plot trends, Jane is on it.

But I think the best part about knowing Jane is that she has to wear skirts to contain her big brass balls. Between you and me, I’ve never seen her in pants and I know why. Not enough room for her massive, swinging cojones.

And really, we need more ballsy women in romancelandia. A lot of people dislike Jane because she states her opinion and backs it up with facts and does not ever couch it in softness and polite excuse. There needs to be more of that online, and in general, really. Hell, my underlying rhetoric is usually that you’re free to disagree with me because I’m as full of shit as anyone, but just because I disagree with you doesn’t mean I dislike you. I think one of the things that rubs folks the wrong way about Jane’s writing is that she states her opinion as a fact, and I think women in particular are taught and pressured to state opinions by underscoring them as “just my opinion.” But you can still disagree with her. And me. (Except we’re never wrong, but you knew that).

I think women online, and in romance, need room to say, “I disagree. I think you’re wrong. What you just said is incorrect and here’s why.” One of the aspects of Jane’s site that rocks my socks is that she’s willing to go toe-to-toe about difficult subjects- but you can meet her at the bar later.

Which is why I’m looking forward to RT and RWA this year. Jane and I will be wrestling in a kiddie pool of red jello and selling the video rights afterward for charity. I think what Jane and her crew of excellence have accomplished with their site provides a forum of debate and discussion that is rare to find online. I can’t tell you how aweswome I think Dear Author is, even if I’m a lurker who rarely comments.

Now I’m going to go play in the DA back end (hur hur) and wait until the hot pink palace is back open for business. See you on the internet.

33 Comments

  1. Jane
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 11:10:37

    When I said you could come and play on the blog and noodle around DA’s backend, I certainly thought you knew that our secret love affair should remain, well, secret. And everything I know about blogging, I learned from you (and other bloggers).

    ReplyReply

  2. jude
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 11:16:29

    Amen! Jane is hands down my favorite blogger in Romancelandia. How she finds time to stay on top of industry trends, gather facts and present them in an objective coherent manner plus review books so thoughtfully plus her day job/nonDear Author life is a thing of wonder. I can barely get the ingredients together for toast most mornings.

    ReplyReply

  3. Barb Ferrer
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 11:17:26

    But you can still disagree with her. And me. (Except we're never wrong, but you knew that).

    I disagree with your ass all the time.

    But I can do more if you like.

    think women in particular are taught and pressured to state opinions by underscoring them as “just my opinion.”

    Oh, and this is because I live with a man who has a dual degree in philosophy and psychology.

    You wanna have some fun arguing?

    ReplyReply

  4. SB Sarah
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 11:17:41

    Oops. Ok, well we can stage a big fight and end our not-secret-but-still-secret love affair in public but continue it behind the scenes.

    IN YOUR BACK END MWAHAHAHAHA.

    ReplyReply

  5. Angela James
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 11:17:59

    I’m not paying for the damage red jello causes to the Las Vegas suite at RWA. That stuff STAINS.

    ReplyReply

  6. Sherry Lewis
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 11:21:19

    I couldn’t agree more, Sarah. A well-reasoned, intelligent discussion on opposing viewpoints can be absolutely fascinating. In fact, I enjoy those kinds of discussions and have been known to change my own opinion in response to a reasonable, intelligent, well-presented argument. I rarely change my opinion in response to an emotionally charged tirade, though. I have many dear friends with brass cajones, all of whom I’ve disagreed with on more than one occasion, but our disagreements are always assertive, not aggressive. That makes all the difference.

    ReplyReply

  7. joanne
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 11:22:20

    I think women online, and in romance, need room to say, “I disagree. I think you're wrong. What you just said is incorrect and here's why.”

    You’re wrong and here’s why: Well, slightly wrong….Jane’s balls are solid gold. Oh yeah, ask anyone who tells her how she should think/talk/respond.

    And how fun is this to see SB Sarah on DA? Huge.

    ReplyReply

  8. Silver James
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 11:24:50

    SB Sarah, I’ve resorted to quaffing Pepto Bismol to get my fix of pink. WHEN will the Bitchery be up and running?!? *whine*

    I agree. Jane is awesome. So are you. *sucks up*

    Angela, I’ll go halfsies on the damage deposit just to see those two in red Jello…. Just sayin’.

    ReplyReply

  9. Courtney Milan
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 11:31:55

    @SB Sarah:

    IN YOUR BACK END MWAHAHAHAHA.

    Saving Jane’s life?

    ReplyReply

  10. Bookwormom
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 11:32:37

    This is great! Maybe there could be more ‘cross blog pollination’ in the future? If you’re both going to be at RT & RWA, I think I need to make a serious effort to go..

    I think women online, and in romance, need room to say, “I disagree. I think you're wrong. What you just said is incorrect and here's why.”

    This is true for women everywhere, I think, not just here online. I know I’m not as assertive as I should be.

    @ Barb Ferrer

    I live with a man who has a dual degree in philosophy and psychology. You wanna have some fun arguing?

    Sounds exhausting! Making up could be fun though. :)

    ReplyReply

  11. Annmarie
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 11:34:23

    I had another theory about the skirt thing but the giant balls certainly fit. Speaking of women with giant balls…I wish I had giant balls.

    Seriously, when I want to get straight talk and facts, I turn to Jane. She is clearly super smart and I love that I get to see the super smart in action.

    ReplyReply

  12. jude
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 11:39:10

    If only we had something better than “balls/cojones” when describing a woman with courage/chutzpah. I know some people use the corollary of “ovaries,” but since it’s not slang, it doesn’t have the same impact.

    ReplyReply

  13. rebyj
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 11:41:23

    one-woman thinktank of awesome.

    I want that on a T shirt !

    My mouse keeps auto clicking on my SBTB bookmark. It’s like an addiction. I can’t quit you! So I’m glad to see the cross posting LOL.
    Twitter updates have helped offset the DT’s.

    ReplyReply

  14. LauraB
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 11:42:18

    Why balls? Do we have to ape men to describe our fearlessness? Couldn’t we say brass/gold labia?

    I love SmartBitches and am glad to see my two favorite blogs fuse even if only for a day.

    Do I have to wait until tomorrow to find out the results of the Willig contest?

    ReplyReply

  15. Kalen Hughes
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 12:02:33

    Thachers. As per Stephen Colbert. Jane (and Sarah, and Candy) have big ol’ Thachers.

    ReplyReply

  16. MoJo
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 12:10:31

    @Barb Ferrer:

    I disagree with your ass all the time.

    I disagree with MY ass all the time!

    A friend of mine suggests “cast-iron cunt.”

    ReplyReply

  17. SB Sarah
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 12:21:48

    I also like: “stone ovaries” but it implies there’s something cold and dead about them, which isn’t what I”m trying to say.

    Brass Ovaries? I mean, testicles are descended ovaries with the application and use of androgens during fetal development….

    ReplyReply

  18. Amy Redwood
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 12:24:04

    If not for the Smart Bitches and DA, I wouldn’t know where to lurk. And, I just switched to Word Press and think it’s the cat’s pjs.

    ReplyReply

  19. Kalen Hughes
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 12:26:18

    When called a bitch (as I often am) I like to respond Bitch and a half!

    ReplyReply

  20. BethP
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 12:32:10

    Jane, and the rest of the Dear Author gang, is (are?) absolutely fabulous. I hit the site a few times a day, every day, to keep informed and entertained with their insightful and intelligent postings.

    @Courtney Milan – oh my god. I spewed my lunch through my nose !!

    ReplyReply

  21. Melissa Blue
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 13:04:52

    Jane is hot when she gets all legal beagle. And, I don’t go for women, but now that you mention she has balls that may explain a lot.

    Now, as for not being assertive, one could make the argument this behavior is taught from mother to daughter, sister to sister, friend to friend. It all goes back to the basic need of acceptance, being a part of the pack.

    ReplyReply

  22. karmelrio
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 13:43:40

    And how fun is this to see SB Sarah on DA? Huge.

    Fun, yes. But … I have to admit that, just yesterday, I was wondering whether it was just my imagination that there seemed to be an increasing amount of overlap between the content of Smart Bitches and Dear Author websites.

    But I agree with the point Sarah is making. As someone in a technical field who is used to assessing data and communicating conclusion,s the way that female-dominated groups communicate with each other seems unnecessarily circular and kinda wimpy.

    ReplyReply

  23. Keira Soleore
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 13:54:14

    Sarah, you’re everywhere. A jello wrestling match at RWA?? RT, I can definitely see, but RWA? That should be an event to watch. Where can I buy tickets?

    Sarah’s talking about plots we always love at http://keirasoleore.blogspot.com. Do stop by and give her some love.

    ReplyReply

  24. Sherry Thomas
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 14:23:01

    Come to think of it, I’ve never seen Jane in pants either. And now I’m scared to. :-)

    IN YOUR BACK END MWAHAHAHAHA.

    But naturally. Isn’t Jane’s Smart Bitch title Countess Inurasse? Or should we change it to Countess Inurasse-ee to denote the hmm more passive aspect that Sarah is implying?

    ReplyReply

  25. Lleeo
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 15:06:36

    I can proudly say that I am a Jane fangirl. Just watching her reasonably argue something/with someone gets me all hot and bothered and makes my inner feminist proud that she is a strong voice in Romanceland. ;)

    ReplyReply

  26. Lleeo
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 15:07:59

    P.S. All of the other Janes are spectacular as well. ;) ♥

    ReplyReply

  27. K. Z. Snow
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 15:28:18

    Being a writer AND outspoken in Romanceland . . . it is not a good thing. So we do need other voices, other Brave Tongues, to lay on that razor-sharp, potentially eviscerating line. Good thing we have some.

    ReplyReply

  28. Jessica G.
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 15:32:43

    I want to have a drink with you ladies. I have a feeling it would be fun. By ladies I mean the SmartBitches, Jane, and all of you in Romancelandia.

    ReplyReply

  29. Sarah Frantz
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 15:42:36

    SB Sarah’s at TMT too! Boy, does SHE sleepget around!

    ReplyReply

  30. Barb Ferrer
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 15:43:27

    @MoJo

    I disagree with MY ass all the time!

    My ass and I haven’t been on speaking terms since the holidays.

    ReplyReply

  31. Robin
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 17:25:24

    “Fuck You, this is how it is” was pretty much my MO through my teen years, and I have to say it didn’t work all that well for me most of the time, lol.

    Now I have so much pedagogical theory pounded into me that it has seeped into all those dark corners of my mind, well beyond the classroom, and it has definitely changed my public voice. For me the most difficult thing is to ride the line of assertiveness without dropping over into aggressiveness. I doubt anyone would ever refer to my online voice as mild.

    I definitely would love to see more confidently assertive female voices online. But I also think that if those who have ‘em swings those brass balls too close to someone’s head you can bust out their hearing. If that makes me a wuss, so be it.

    ReplyReply

  32. Lisa Hendrix
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 19:36:24

    WP is like, “Hi. Wanna blog? Ok. There you go!” Wow, WP, you are some sexy stuff.

    Precisely why I use WordPress…lets me devote brainage to matters other than learning code.

    And I absolutely and utterly agree about Jane’s balls and their wonderfulness, but I do think you’re not giving yourself credit. You have massively big, brassy balls also and apply them in a most gratifying manner. Hell, you even managed to convert a mocking male into a romance blogger. Not at all shabby.

    ReplyReply

  33. Janine
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 20:00:35

    Gotta agree with you Sarah, Jane is awesome. Her innovativeness has blown my mind more than once. And you have made me oh, so happy, that DA is run on WordPress not Express Engine.

    @Robin,

    I definitely would love to see more confidently assertive female voices online. But I also think that if those who have ‘em swings those brass balls too close to someone's head you can bust out their hearing. If that makes me a wuss, so be it.

    ITA with all of that. We can be wusses together.

    ReplyReply

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