Name of debut release: The Haunting of Maddy Clare

Release date: 03/06/2012

Publisher: NAL

2 sentence summary: In 1920′s England, a girl working for a temp agency is assigned to be assistant to a ghost hunter. When they investigate the ghost of a dead servant named Maddy Clare, they get more than they bargained for.

Genre: Gothic, romance, mystery, historical, paranormal

Characters: Sarah Piper is a shy, lonely temp who is swept up in her very first ghost hunting case. Alistair Gellis is a young, rich, eccentric World War I vet who is obsessed with ghosts. Matthew Ryder is Alistair’s assistant – dark, damaged, and haunted by his war experiences.

What makes this story different: It’s a mix of genres. It’s a gothic ghost story, set in the 1920′s, with a romance and a mystery in it as well. The ghost story is the chilling, old-fashioned kind and it’s blended equally with the other elements.

Is this a series?:

Why you wrote this book: I love ghost stories, but most pure ghost stories don’t have a romance plot. I love old-school gothics and wanted to read one that was creepy and scary and romantic at the same time. I couldn’t find exactly what I wanted to read, so I wrote it myself!

Why is this your first published book? How many did you write before? I wrote two full manuscripts and half of a third before this one. The first two were rejected everywhere. I was halfway through my third manuscript and really struggling with it when the idea for this book came to me and wouldn’t let go.

As for why it was published, I think that the top reason was that after two and a half manuscripts, I found a voice that really worked for me. Once I settled into my voice, the writing flowed more easily and got noticed by first an agent, then an editor.

What’s your writing process? I have a day job so currently my writing process is “any way I can, at any time I can scrounge.” I usually start a manuscript longhand in a spiral notebook, because it’s easiest to carry everywhere and never runs low on batteries. Commuter trains, lunch breaks, whatever it takes. Once I have a good handle on what the book will be, I sit down at a computer and type.

When I’m on deadline, it consumes all of my evenings and weekends. I haven’t watched television in well over a year!

Your next published book. An Inquiry into Love and Death, NAL, March 2013

The last book you read that you loved. Just one? Oh gosh. Dark Road to Darjeeling, by Deanna Raybourn. Can’t Buy Me Love, by Molly O’Keefe. And yes, I just cheated.

The last book you read for research. Aside from dry World War I texts? The Pursuit of Love, by Nancy Mitford. Anything about or by the Mitfords is not only great research for the early twentieth-century era, but incredibly entertaining as well.

The romance book character you most identify with. Any Mary Stewart heroine ever. If I had to pick a favorite, possibly Nicola Ferris in the Moon-Spinners or Vanessa March in Airs Above the Ground.

You can check out more about Simone St. James and her books at http://www.simonestjames.com

Related posts:

1. Debut Print Book: The Wedding Beat by Devan Sipher
2. Debut Print Book: Don’t Let Me Go by J.H.Trumble
3. Debut Print Book: Under the Same Sky by Genevieve Graham

There are two major updates in the DOJ lawsuit.  An additional 17 states have sued the publishers and Apple.  Judge Denise Cote denied  Apple, Penguin, and Macmillan’s motion to dismiss.  You may want to read the Primer here if you haven’t already before going forward.

States Attorneys General Amended Complaint

1)  An additional 17 states have joined the existing states that have filed suit against the major publishers and Apple bringing the total number up to 31. Those states include: Texas, Comiecticut, Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Delaware, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Louisiana, Maryland, Michigan, Missouri, Nebraska, New Mexico, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, South Dakota, Termessee, Utah, Vermont, West Virginia, and Wisconsin, the District of Columbia, and the Commonwealths of Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Puerto Rico, and Virginia.

Highlights from the amended lawsuit include a more detailed description of all the alleged concerted action and more damning quotations.  Prepare for your mind to be blown. Mine was.

•  Collectively the Big 6 account for approximately 60% of all revenue generated from print titles sold in the U.S. and 85% of all revenue generated from the sale of NYT Bestsellers.  In 2009, the publishers’ market share broke down as follows:  Random House (17.5%), Penguin (11.3%), Hachette (10%), HarperCollins (9.8%), Simon & Schuster (9.1%), and  Macmillan (5.4%)
• In 2009, Amazon held up to 80% of the digital book marketshare. (Judge Cote’s decision said 90%).
• Amazon’s price point of $9.99 “stoked intense competition among e-book retailers as its rivals priced at or near Amazon’s price point to remain competitive.  As a result, prior to January 2010, consumers could generally purchase NYT Bestselling e-books for $9.99″ (This is an important point because Cote points out in her decision that the price for digital books is identical from retailer to retailer post agency pricing)
• An executive of the parent corporation of one publisher met with other Big 6 executives “to discuss a joint venture” that would compete with Amazon and hopefully raise prices. (I wonder if this was/is Bookish).
• Windowing is referred to as “the first collective attempt to raise prices.”
• “Months before announcing that they would experiment with Windowing certain titles, certain Publishers shared information among one another about which titles they would Window and their anticipated delay period for e-book publication.”
• Carolyn Reidy shared information “confidentially” to another publisher of S&S’s plan to window Stephen King’s Under the Dome.  The executive shared this with his boss via email.  ”At the conclusion of the e-mail, the executive urges his boss to ‘double delete’ this e-mail from his files.”
• Carolyn Reidy emails Les Moonves, CEO of S&S’s parent corporation CBS, regarding windowing and the need to “‘gather more troops’ and ammunition first.”
• “[T]he Conspiring Publishers considering Windowing referenced themselves in one email as “the Club!”
• “On December 10, 2009, Simon & Schuster CEO Carolyn Reidy discussed systematic Windowing of e-books with Macmillan executive Stephen Rubin, a friend and former colleague of Reidy’s.  In an e-mail to Macmillan CEO John Sargent recounting part of their conversation, Mr. Rubin wrote, “In the nicest possible way, she’d [Carolyn Reidy] love for you to join them. She feels if one more publisher comes aboard, everyone else will follow suit.”
• John Sargent asked Eddy Cue from Apple to take a reduced cut on hardcover first releases because under the new Agency model, revenue would decrease from $14 per book to $9.00.  (This is important because Judge Cote uses this as an example of how anti competitive the actions were – that they would intentionally take a much lower figure in order to slow ebook adoption and raise prices).
• An executive to another executive in a parent corp. shared via email that Eddy Cue had indicated that Random House was out “and that ne [sic] need the five majors in but maybe four.”
• On Saturday, January 22, Penguin CEO David Shanks contacted Apple’s negotiator Eddie Cue.  As Mr. Cue reported to Steve Jobs, Shanks ‘wanted an assurance that he is 1 of 4 before signing.”
• One executive (it must be Hachette by process of elimination) called John Sargent to confirm whether Macmillan was in. Sargent affirmed but the executive told Sargent that the executive’s company would not likely agree.
• Sargent and Reidy had a conversation wherein Sargent told Reidy he was signing the Apple agreement and would pursue the agency model.
• Eddy Cue asked Steve Jobs for help reeling in one recalcitrant publisher (whom I am assuming is Hachette).  Jobs writes to an executive at the parent company of the publisher “As I see it, [Conspiring Publisher] has the following choices:  1) Throw in with Apple and see if we can all make a go of this to create a real mainstream ebooks market at $12.99 to $14.99″  Within three days, the recalcitrant publisher threw in.
• The publisher contracts with Apple were virtually identical, particularly as it relates to the maximum price floor, definitions for bestselling titles, commission rate, and the most favored nations clause.
• Penguin could not switch to Agency Model until June 2010 so it withheld from Amazon all newly released ebooks until Agency Model implemented. (AH HA! Seriously I remember this panicked time a few years ago).
• “The higher retail prices benefitted Apple because it would earn higher revenues from its commissions on each sale. Insulated from e-book price competition with other Outlets, Apple could earn gross margins up to several times higher than in the Wholesale-Retail Model.  The Publishers achieved their long-running collective goal: higher retail prices for e-books.”
• After Macmillan had its buy buttons removed from Amazon following its demand to go Agency, publishers began to email “John Sargent needs our help!” and “Macmillan ‘has been brave, but they are small. We need to move the lines. And I am thrilled to know how A[mazon] will react against 3 0r 4 of the big guys.”  The same executive emailed Sargent saying “I can ensure you that are not going to find your company alone in the battle.”
• The CEO of Barnes & Noble emailed Sargent to let him know that B&N had Macmillan’s back.  ”Barnes & Noble would ‘go to the mat’ for Macmillan. In an attempt to assist Macmillan during the negotiation process, B&N moved its titles to the top of its merchandizing pods & search results on the Nook.”  (these things are so dirty)
• Amazon learned that five of the six publishers agreed to the Agency model and that these five accounted for about half of Amazon’s ebook business and thus Amazon caved to Macmillan.  (In Judge Cote’s decision we find out that Amazon was presented with this information on the same day (Jan 20) by four different publishers)
• When Random House refused to move to Agency, David Shanks of Penguin went to Barnes & Noble “I would hope that [Barnes & Noble] would be equally brutal to Publishers who have thrown in with your competition [Amazon] with obvious disdain for your welfare.”  B&N continued to promote RH titles and so Shanks went back to B&N.  ”Following this contact, B&N’s management decided not to feature Random House in any future advertising.”
• Random House eventually caves.  I actually feel sorry for Random House for some reason.

Mind blown?

Judge Cote’s Denial of Apple, Penguin and Macmillan’s Motions to Dismiss

2)  Judge Cote issued a ruling denying Apple, Penguin and Macmillan’s motions to dismiss in the civil class action.  The civil class action has been stayed against Hachette, Simon & Schuster, and HarperCollins, pending the outcome of the state attorney general lawsuits.  A motion to dismiss is measured against a standard that does not favor dismissal. Every pled fact is assumed true and every inference is read in favor of the complainant (or plaintiff).  The short version is that Judge Cote found that the class action petition made a plausible claim for per se antitrust violations based on horizontal price fixing agreements.  That is doom, in my opinion, for the publishers and Apple.  In fact, reading Judge Cote’s decision, my first thought was that she might reject the settlement because it doesn’t go far enough to protect consumers and punish the conspiring parties.

Here are some highlights from Judge Cote’s decision

•  ”By the Fall of 2009, the Publisher Defendants had come to see the growth of eBooks, combined with retailers’ discount pricing strategies, as a significant threat to their business model and to the publishing industry as a whole.  Traditionally, hardcover book sales have been publishers’ most profitable product.  Hardcovers typically provide publishers with the highest margins per unit of sale.”
• The Publisher Defendants feared that low-cost eBooks sales would cannibalize sales of physical books, especially hardcovers, eat into publishers’ profit margins, and harm brick- and-mortar retailers.  They also feared that in the future, Amazon might use its market power to reduce publishers’ share of the profit margins for eBooks.  Most fundamentally, the Publisher Defendants worried that Amazon’s low price point would condition consumers to believe that a book was only “worth” $9.99, and that this consumer expectation would exert powerful downward pressure on prices for eBooks and physical books alike. In the face of these pricing pressures, the Publisher Defendants feared that their business model would prove unsustainable over the long term.”
• Windowing decisions were announced by 4 of the big 6 within days of each other.  Dec 4 – Hachette; Dec 7 –  S&S; Dec 10 – HC; and Dec 16 – Macmillan.
• “In January 2010, Apple signed nearly identical contracts (the “Agency Agreements”) with each of the Publisher Defendants. Each of these Agency Agreements allegedly included four major elements.  First, each Agency Agreement specified that beginning with the launch of Apple’s iPad and iBookstore on April 3, 2010, the publisher would sell its eBooks in the iBookstore under the agency model.  For each sale in the iBookstore, Apple was to receive a commission of thirty percent of the sales price. Second, the contracts included MFN clauses.  These clauses stipulated that the final sales price for eBooks sold through other distribution channels could not be lower than the prices for those titles in the iBookstore.  Third, each Agency Agreement set the prices for eBooks according to a formula tied to the list price of physical books.  Under this formula, the eBook prices would range from $12.99 to $14.99 for most newly- released general fiction and nonfiction titles.  Lastly, each Agency Agreement explicitly required the Publisher Defendants to use the agency model when selling eBooks through other vendors of any meaningful size beginning on April 1, 2010.”
• The complaint alleges that the Publisher Defendants’ average per unit revenue for eBook sales decreased by 31 percent following the adoption of the agency model.
• After adoption of the agency model, the price of new bestselling eBooks increased by forty percent on average, even though there had been no corresponding increase in costs.
• “The CAC plausibly alleges that Apple and the Publisher Defendants took part in a conspiracy in restraint of trade, that an object of this conspiracy was to raise prices for eBooks, and that this restraint was unreasonable per se.  The Complaint describes specific conversations from which it is fair to infer that the Publisher Defendants had agreed among themselves to adopt a joint strategy to force an increase in the price of eBooks.  These include Hachette’s representation to Amazon on December 3, 2009 that the “industry’s” problem with eBook pricing would be solved if Amazon raised its prices by two or three dollars, and the separate meetings on a single day, January 20, 2010, in which four Publisher Defendants each presented Amazon with the identical demand that it adopt the agency model.  There are ample allegations that Apple became an integral member of this conspiracy and well understood that the upshot of its participation would be the elimination of price competition at the retail level, forcing consumers to, in Jobs’s words, “pay[] a little more” for eBooks. (my emphasis)
• “Although the Complaint does not claim that Apple had an interest in higher retail prices, per se, it does plausibly allege that Apple had an interest in limiting retail competition.  The Agency Agreements were a means to accomplish both these goals through a single tool.  The switch to the agency model meant that the Publisher Defendants could control retail prices, whereas the MFN clauses protected Apple and its 30 percent commission from price competition by other retailers.”
• The hub in a hub and spoke conspiracy need not be a dominant player.  (This was one of my concerns about the hub/spoke conspiracy.)  Judge Cote said ” Second, the above-quoted dicta in Dentsply does not establish that a hub must be a dominant purchaser or supplier; it merely states that this is “generally” the case. This observation should not be surprising: a hub’s existing market power provides an obvious incentive to horizontal competitors to sign agreements in restraint of trade. In this case, however, existing dynamics in the publishing industry provided powerful incentives for the publishers to sign such agreements.”
• Cote also wrote (and I think this is important) ” These arguments do not address the fundamental claim in the CAC. It alleges that the defendants conspired to eliminate retail price competition and to raise the price of eBooks above the $9.99 price set by Amazon. This states a claim for violation of the law. That the eBook prices may now fall within a range, albeit one typically well-above $9.99, does not render the Complaint’s description of the conspiratorial agreement implausible. Similarly, as explained in the Complaint, the publishers perceived that their financial interests and business model, taken as a whole, were better protected by raising the prices of eBooks even if it meant reducing their profit margins in that line of their business. In the words of Macmillan’s CEO, the publishers believed the agency model would allow them to “have a stable and rational market,” and that the tradeoff was in their long-term business interests. “
• Cote ultimately found that the price restraint allegations were horizontal (between firms) and not merely vertical (within the firm) & conscious parallelism and thus measured under a per se standard but that even under a rule of reason would be illegal.

Judge Cote pointed to elements that she felt were supportive of an agreement (the essential ingredient for a horizontal cartel)

• Specific conversations from which it is fair to infer that the Publisher Defendants had agreed among themselves to adopt a joint strategy to force an increase in the price of eBooks.
• Signing agency agreement with Apple and demanding the same from Amazon would not have been in the publishers’ self interests unless there was a conspiracy of action.
• The rapid and simultaneous switch to the agency model — a model heretofore unknown in the publishing industry — by multiple competitors with every major eBook retailer was similar to the frowned upon action in Twombly.  Twombly, 550 U.S. at 556 n.4.

Other notes of interest

Penguin argued that it was entitled to arbitration based on the user agreements between the customer and retailers like Amazon.  This is based on the premise that Amazon is merely an agent of Penguin and thus any agreement a customer  has with Amazon passes to Penguin.  According to the docket, Penguin appears to be abandoning this claim.  Penguin was ordered to advise the court by April 30, 2012, whether it intended to proceed with its arbitration argument.  No filing by Penguin exists in the record which likely means that Penguin has waived the right to arbitrate.

 ORDER: ORDERED that, unless Penguin advises the Court by April 30, 2012 that it wishes its March 2 motion to stay proceedings and compel arbitration to be addressed, the motion will be deemed withdrawn. IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that in the event Penguin files a renewed motion to arbitrate, any party opposing the motion may present any arguments that are appropriate, including that Penguin has waived its right to arbitrate. (Signed by Judge Denise L. Cote on 4/25/2012) Filed In Associated Cases: 1:11-md-02293-DLC et al.(djc) (Entered: 04/26/2012)

The emphasis on windowing is new to me and I don’t know why I missed it. It’s genius of the DOJ/States Attorneys General to argue this because it sets a pattern of concerted behavior regarding price controls. In this study by Yu Hu and Michael D Smith, the scholars collected quotes by major publishers regarding windowing:

Table 1: Delaying Ebooks

Event	Quote
September 2009: HarperCollins delays the ebook release of Sarah Palin’s memoirs by 5 months after the hardcover release date.	“The publishing plan is focused on maximizing velocity of the hardcover before Christmas.”Brian Murray, CEO HarperCollins
November 2009: Viacom/Schribner delays the ebook release of Stephen King’s new novel by 6 weeks after the hardcover release date.	“We think that this publishing sequence gives us the opportunity to maximize hardcover sales”Adam Rothberg, Spokesperson Schribner
Early 2010: Hachette Book Group delays the ebook release of nearly all of its titles by 3-4 months after the hardcover release date.	“I can’t sit back and watch years of building authors sold off at bargain- basement prices.”David Young, CEO Hachette
Early 2010: Simon & Schuster delays ebook release for 35 major titles by 4 months after the hardcover release date.	“The right place for the e-book is after the hardcover but before the paperback,”Carolyn Reidy, CEO Simon & Schuster

My guess is that the publishers felt like discussing windowing and plans to window books wasn’t illegal collusive behavior because there was no price discussed but the objective remained the same – how to raise digital book prices.

What’s Next?

Discovery is next as well as the approval or rejection of the settlement.I wouldn’t be surprised if the DOJ or the States Attorneys General ask for a temporary injunction to halt any agency agreements based on the language in Judge Cote’s decision.  The publishers would be hard pressed to argue that they couldn’t make a change quickly given how they were able to move from Wholesale to Agency.

A denial of a motion to dismiss merely means that a case can proceed forward but the explicit finding by Judge Cote that the evidence supports a per se violation makes it difficult for the defendants.  They are going to have to convince Judge Cote and then a jury (if they get by Cote) that there was no agreement.  Business justifications are not allowed in a per se claim.  Cote points to these facts as supportive of agreement:

the early efforts to induce Amazon to raise its prices for eBooks, first through Hachette’s request on behalf of the “industry” in December 2009, and when that proved unsuccessful, through windowing eBooks, are principally relevant as evidence of the willingness of Publisher Defendants to work together to effect market change, and specifically, to raise the prices of eBooks through collusion. That evidence of earlier jointly undertaken activity render more plausible the claim that the Publisher Defendants were indeed colluding when they acted to end the wholesale model for distribution of eBooks and thereby to raise the prices of these books.

I think that the defendants (Apple, Penguin and Macmillan) have two options here. Settle now or take their slim chances to jury where I am convinced they will lose and hope that the 2nd Circuit slaps down Judge Cote’s per se finding on appeal.

Documents in PDF form.

• Amended States Complaint
• Judge Cote’s Decision

Related posts:

1. Antitrust Primer for the Publishing Price Fixing Lawsuit
2. New Report Says Author Presence Online Is Important
3. Publishers Get Wise, Undercut Amazon prices

After Kati D reviewed Knight for Dear Author, I had to read it myself. It was rough but Ruthie Knox, in the comments, suggested I give Sweet Dreams a try and I did. Sweet Dreams is an interesting story and one that I am going to review later but I actually went on to read several of your books and I wanted to start writing reviews with Rock Chick. Rock Chick is the beginning of a series of books that are interrelated. (another author used the word “Daisy Chained” to describe books that are loosely connected by a series of characters). Rock Chick is one of your better works and it also contains nearly every one of your signature writing features so that if readers like Rock Chick, they are likely to enjoy most of your writing. If they don’t like Rock Chick, then it is probably best for readers to pass on your extensive backlist.

Rock Chick reads like Stephanie Plum fan fiction for the Rangerettes (the shippers who wanted a pairing between Stephanie and Ranger). There is the intrepid heroine who rushes into danger.  There is the hot, mysterious security guy.  There are drag queens, irascible older people, people getting shot at and cars exploding.

India Savage, known as Indy, grew up loving Liam Nightingale. The Savage and Nightingale families were close. The parents knew each other. Allie Nightingale was Indy’s best friend. Their mothers, especially, wanted the two families tied together by marriage. Indy pursued Liam relentlessly as a teen until Indy finally got the message at the age of twenty that Lee (as he is known to all) would never want her back. From that point on, Indy made a point to avoid Lee at as much as possible. When Indy’s life is endangered, Lee steps in and declares to all and sundry that Indy is his woman and sets out to convince Indy of this new to her truth.

The storytelling is conversational, as if Indy is sitting next to you in her bookstore, Fortnum’s in Lower Downtown Denver. It’s as if you’ve made a new friend and she is telling you all about her crazy mixed up love life and how she got the man of her dreams.  It works exceptionally well. The best part of all these books is the unapologetic brashness of the characters. Indy, in particular, is a bold.  Indy is a full figured woman with great T&A.  She is comfortable in her skin.  She is independent, has a great group of friends, likes to wear tight clothes and lots of makeup.  Also, she is in danger and every guy, even the bad ones, wants her.  While Indy meets the definition of a Mary Sue squarely, she also represents a complete change (at least for me) from the demure, never been kissed, heroines who shy away from loving their body and appreciating their own personal agency.

Ranger, err, Lee is a more reserved guy who owns a security firm that does things like skip tracing and bodyguard work, amongst other security tasks.  On more than one occasion, he wades in to save Indy from a dangerous scenario arising from some impetuous act.  Indy describes Lee as badass, several times. Despite how bold and independent Indy is, there is a vague tone of msygony that runs through these Rock Chick books. It might be totally unintentional but the men, like Lee, look at the women with benign amusement.  They frequently make demands  that result in female capitulation. All the demands seem to end in an imperative “get me?” either in tone, eye contact, or verbalization. (I.e., do you get what I am telling you?)  Lee cuffs Indy to the bed more than once in order to prevent her from engaging in behavior that he thinks will endanger her (and given her past record, maybe the cuffing is justified).  But just about the moment that I (and Indy) are ready to blow our stacks, you have Lee (and the other men in your books) say something completely endearing, making themselves vulnerable:

“Jesus,” he buried his face in my neck, “there’s nothin’ better in the world than hearin’ you say my name when I’m inside you.” He slid in deep, filling me. “I’ve been waitin’ years to be right here.”

Holy crap.

His mouth was at my ear.

“I could be on assignment, in a desert as hot as an oven, in a jungle as close as fuck and sometimes I’d get through it dreamin’ of you sayin’ my name like that.”

I told a friend of mine that these books read a little like old school Linda Howard.  Lee is full of take charge machismo.  He’s written as if he can do anything including negotiate a detente with a criminal who is after his woman. No lock can keep him out.  No situation is too dangerous for him.   It’s only dangerous for those that oppose him.  The characters drink a lot of beer, curse a lot, watch sports on TV, gossip with their girlfriends, party regularly, and in every aspect seem ordinary and relatable and somehow so very different than many characters I’ve read in contemporary romances of late.

Indy is a good match for Lee.  She stands up for herself and pushes back against Lee. The secondary characters are well drawn even if they are exaggerated eccentrics.   Plus, Indy’s exchanges (especially the ones with Ally) are funny:

“Did you bring me a Sushi Den outfit?” I asked Ally.

You didn’t go to Sushi Den in jeans and cowboy boots. Sushi Den demanded something else entirely. Clothing… black. Shoes… stiletto. I had a full section of my closet devoted to Sushi Den clothes.

“You bet your ass,” Ally replied.

and

“You just hung up on my brother?” Ally asked, sidling into bitch smackdown mode in defense of her sibling.

“Ally,” Kitty Sue said placatingly.

“We’re on a break,” I told Ally.

“You’re on a break? You’ve been together a week!” Ally yelled.

“We’re on a break,” I repeated.

“I don’t believe this,” Ally snapped, her hand at her hip, countdown to bitch smackdown mode hitting critical.

“Ally,” Kitty Sue put in, “it’s none of your business.”

“What do you mean it’s none of my business? Lee’s my brother, she’s my best friend.”

“She means it’s none of your business,” I told Ally, “back off.”

“Back off? Did you just tell me to back off? I’ve been waiting twenty-two years for this!” Ally was back to yelling. “You can’t be on a break. That’s ridiculous! Hank’s never gonna get married, there’s no one perfect for him. You’re perfect for Lee and you won’t sort it out with him. I’m never gonna get a niece named after me.”

“For God’s sake, Ally, make your own babies,” I yelled back.

“No please, don’t do that. Not until you’ve found someone special,” Kitty Sue threw in.

“Um… I don’t mean to interrupt your asinine conversation but, are we gonna let those diamond earrings just sit on the counter?” Tex asked.

I laughed out loud at several points in the story even as I was simultaneously worn down by the non stop description of Indy’s every outfit, of Indy’s every meal, and of every street in Denver.  Your books really need an editor. There are many sentences like this dispersed throughout the book “A body like mine isn’t difficult to maintain, just feed it loads of crap to keep the curves but keep in shape because you’ve got to lug it around everywhere.” I’d often have to read the sentence twice to ascertain its precise meaning. Anytime a reader stops to puzzle out the meaning of a sentence is a break in the mood, the fantasy you are creating.

The stories need a content editor that will help to smooth out some writing tics and to introduce some brevity. Some of the characters make epic long speeches. Speeches so long I wonder at their lung capacities.  The stories need a copy editor and a proofreader to eliminate the typos, misspellings, and grammatical inaccuracies. The blurbs for these books are some of the worst I’ve read. You are a great storyteller and I think you are telling stories that aren’t out there right now. Unfortunately, every time I give a recommendation for one of these books, I have to be up front and tell my reader friends that the writing is really rough, that there are serious periods of momentum lulls, and an unholy amount of repetition.  (And its repetitive from book to book. In nearly every Rock Chick book there is a time when the hero will go through a litany of things that they love about the heroine and end with an “you’d be a pain in the ass.”

“Honey, it’s good you’re gorgeous or you’d be a pain in the ass.”

Here’s one writing tic that I find challenging (and by challenging I mean difficult to follow and thus annoying)

But, twenty minutes ago, my employee, Rosie, told me something I didn’t want to hear. Rosie could be difficult but this was ridiculous.

And he’d involved another employee (and one of my most favorite people in the world), Duke.
* * * * *

Then, five minutes ago, Rosie and I locked up and stood at the front of my bookstore, Fortnum’s, wondering what to do about that something.

Then two guys came up to us, we had a chat that did not go well (and if I’m honest, the reason it didn’t go well is because of me) and then they shot at us.

Shot.
At.
Us.
With guns.
Guns filled with bullets.

Another writing tic is to use the word “after”

After, we had pie.

Then, we had a shower.

What with wet, soapy, naked bodies, especially with one of them being Lee’s, things got out of hand and we tumbled out of the shower onto the bath mat.

After that, I said a silent thank you to the unknown Judy as the bathroom was sparkling clean and the bath mat smelled of fragrant drier sheets.

Later, we were in bed and I was pressed up against his side, his arm around my waist ….

I’ve read all the Rock Chick books. I’m not going to do a full review for each of them, but instead do a summary review of the next 6 in tomorrow’s post.  Obviously I was captivated by your writing, but I can’t give a full throated endorsement. Instead, I feel it necessary to caution readers and hopefully arm them with enough information so that they can make their own decisions. I’d love to grade this book higher but even though the storytelling was engaging, I just can’t.  C

Best regards,

Jane

AmazonBNSonyKobo HQN ARE

Related posts:

1. REVIEW: Knight by Kristen Ashley
2. REVIEW: Rock Star by Roslyn Hardy Holcomb
3. Joanna Trollope Gives Chick Lit Some Props

Once upon a time, in a seedy bar, many years ago, I met a man, fell for him on the spot, married him, and decades later count myself lucky to have and hold him as my own. And yet, as I read your book, the wonderful A Different Kind of Forever, I found myself wondering, what if my life had turned out differently. What if I were divorced, trying to raise my kids as a single mom, loving my work, surrounded by great friends, but, romantically, sexually, alone? If I were, if I had that life instead of the one I do, I pray to the gods I, like your forty-five year old divorced heroine Diane Matthews, would have the great good fortune to one day, walking in the park, meet twenty-six year old Michael Carlucci.

Michael isn’t just any twenty-six year old. He’s “Mickey Flynn” the creative genius behind and the keyboard player in one of the world’s most successful bands, NinetySeven. He and his band have come back to their home town to play the last concert of their current tour. A few weeks before the concert, he’s walking his dog Max in the park and Max, who has a serious obsession with pastrami, smells the sandwich Diane is eating and begins dashing toward her. Diane, standing on the picnic table she’s jumped up on, decides her lunch isn’t worth being tackled by a very large dog, and gives Max her sandwich just as Michael finally catches up with his marauding pet.

Diane stared at the animal in amazement, then turned as the owner came running up to her. He was completely winded, gasping, bent over with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.

“I’m so sorry,” he panted. “But my dog really loves pastrami.”

Diane stared at him. “That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard.”

The owner of the dog nodded his head. “Oh, I know,” he gulped. “It’s probably the silliest thing I’ve ever had to say.”

Diane began to laugh, a tickle that began in her throat and bubbled up. She felt tears streaming from her eyes. No one would ever believe this. The owner started to laugh with her. He seemed very young, dark hair cut short and as he lifted his smiling face, she saw startling blue eyes, an angular jaw. Suddenly, she stopped laughing

“Oh, my God. I know you.”

He was still breathing heavily. “I’m Michael Carlucci, and this is Max.” The dog had finished and was sitting quietly at his master’s feet. Michael gazed up at her. “I’m very sorry. Can I help you down?”

“Oh. Yes, please.” She felt suddenly awkward, and reached down to take his hand. She climbed down off the table carefully, her skirt riding to mid-thigh, heels unsteady on the grass. They were suddenly eye to eye. He was not much taller than her, slim, in a white polo shirt tucked into faded jeans, a thin belt around his waist. His arms and hands were beautiful, she noticed, sculpted and strong-looking.

““I’m sorry,” she said, smoothing her skirt. “I thought you were somebody else. You look just like Mickey Flynn.”

He grinned sheepishly. “Yeah, that’s me. Michael Flynn Carlucci. I was named for my Irish grandfather.”

“I thought it was you. There’s a life sized poster of you in my daughters’ bedroom.

Diane is the mother of three daughters. While the eldest, Rachel, has outgrown her obsession with NinetySeven, her younger two, Emily and Morgan, ages fourteen and sixteen, have not. Michael, as a peace offering for his dog’s thieving behavior, offers Diane free tickets to the concert, and, after talking with her for a few minutes, asks if he can buy her lunch. At lunch, he throws in backstage passes as well. Diane isn’t sure he’s serious, but sure enough, the next day, a large envelope arrives at her house with eight VIP tickets to the show. Then, that night, Michael calls her and asks her out to dinner. Diane, nervous but attracted, agrees to meet him but doesn’t tell anyone she’s going out with him.

The date though, is perfect. Michael tells Diane his life story, she tells him hers, they drink, laugh, and, when Michael walks her to her car, he kisses her until she can’t breathe and tells her he wants to see her again. They agree to meet backstage after his concert this coming Friday night. Diane, her friend, and their daughters go to hear the band—Diane isn’t sure what to expect. She hasn’t been to a concert in years and all week she’s thought about Michael, his kiss, his smile, and how much she’s wanted to see him again. The concert is great—Diane is astonished at how talented Michael is. As the music winds down, Michael comes out onto the stage—it’s a band tradition: at the end of each show he tells a story. This night, he tells the story of meeting Diane,

“So, last week, I’m back home and I figure I’ll take Max out to Bloomfield Park. I got the Frisbee, I got tennis balls, we’re ready for anything, you know? So, we’re on the ball field, the park is practically empty, we’re having this great old time, and suddenly the wind shifts. Max freezes, and takes off like a shot and I know, man, I just know.” He paused and dropped his voice. “Shhhiiiit. It’s pastrami.”

Diane sank lower into her seat as Sue hit her excitedly on the arm.

“So Max is flying, and I am pounding after him, and there’s one, lone woman, sitting at a picnic table, eating a sandwich.” Laughter. “I yell, ‘he wants your sandwich’, and the woman jumps up on the picnic table, and she sticks out her hand and Max leaps like a gazelle, gets the sandwich, and it’s gone .” The audience started to clap and cheer. Michael was shaking his head, one hand on his hip. “So I’m looking up at this woman.” He got in closer to the mike, and dropped his voice again. “Sensational legs.” Diane glanced over at Emily, who was open-mouthed. “And this great tattoo right above her ankle.”

The crowd roared and hooted. Diane felt the blood drumming in her ears.

“Since she didn’t say anything about suing me,” Michael went on, “I bought her lunch and invited her to the show.” He shaded his eyes and looked down at them. “Are you girls having a good time?”

Megan, Emily and all their friends shrieked and waved excitedly. Michael nodded.

“Good.” He turned to the stage hand that had walked onstage with another microphone and an acoustic guitar. “Thanks, man.” He slipped the guitar strap over his shoulder and adjusted the mike.

“Now I’m going to tell you all about my sisters. I have three, all older, and they were all into music, and I spent my whole childhood sneaking into one of their rooms, and listening to whatever they were listening to. That’s how I began to love music. That’s when I decided to make it a part of my life.”

His voice had dropped, grown softer, and Diane could feel everyone leaning in, straining to hear.

“When I was five, I started taking piano lessons, because everyone in my house took piano lessons. But I wanted to play guitar. Angela, my youngest sister, was taking guitar lessons. I made a deal with my Dad that I’d go to my piano lesson like a good little boy, if I could also go with Angela. So she took me along with her, I’d sit in the corner and listen, then we’d go home and practice together, and that’s how I learned to play the guitar. Angela had this big, old Lennon-McCartney songbook, and we learned every song.” The crowd burst into applause. As they quieted, he went on.

“My sisters all loved the Beatles, especially Paul. I would play and they would sing along. And that is just about as perfect a memory you could have.” He had been looking down as he spoke, his hands folded over the curve of the guitar. He suddenly lifted his eyes and his smile went out across the audience. “I had forgotten. Diane with the sexy tattoo reminded me. I want to thank her for that. So this song is for the Carlucci girls, who are responsible for so many of the good things in my life.”

He began to play ‘And I Love Her.’

Michael, you see, fell in love with Diane the moment he met her. He believes there is one true love out there for each of us and, for him, he’s sure Diane is his. He woos her with everything he has.

Diane though is, well, forty-five. She’s been married—is happily divorced– and has been in love once since her marriage broke up—he was married, so, despite believing she’d found her true love, she wouldn’t get involved with him. She thinks Michael is wonderful but damn, he’s young.  And she has her daughters to think about—she’s afraid to tell them about Michael, fearing somehow, they will see his youth and fame as inappropriate for her. And, in fact, the first time the two come close to making love, not only is Diane overwhelmed, she is horrified to be interrupted by her eldest daughter Rachel who bitterly points out Diane is old enough to be Michael’s mother.

But Michael doesn’t give up and slowly but surely pulls Diane into his arms and then his life. The latter is made easier by the fact Rachel is living in the City for the summer and Megan and Emily are spending the summer on the Long Island Shore with their father and his new wife and baby. They spend almost every day and night together. Diane, an academic and a playwright, is putting the final touches on a play that will be opening in the fall. Michael is working on an incredibly challenging project—the score for a movie being made by one of England’s most famously difficult directors. When not working, they make love—God, Diane loves making love with Michael—sail, visit with his friends and family, and, in general live each day to the fullest.

But when the summer comes to an end, the ease with which Diane and Michael have been together unravels. Michael must go to London to work; Diane’s daughters, who, with exception of Rachel, know nothing about Diane’s relationship with Michael, return home; and, most challengingly for Michael, Quinn, the married man Diane once loved is now divorced and is back in town while Michael, lonely and unsure of Diane’s feelings for him, is a continent away from the woman he loves.

So many things in this book worked for me. I liked the way the jobs Diane, Michael, and others do in A Different Kind of Forever is portrayed. The creative work Diane and Michael do is wholly believable as is the context that work exists in. It was interesting to see Diane as both an academic and as a writer. She’s good at both professions, both require different skill sets, and both are shown in realistic detail. The entire context of this book–the neighborhoods Diane and Michael live in, the meals they share with others, even the way the weather is described–seemed credibly genuine. The world you’ve written is the world many of us live in–full of laundry, bills, swing-sets, arguments, and traffic.

The novel is filled with characters, all of whom have parts to play in the story, and are convincingly and compassionately rendered. Diane has complex relationships with her daughters, especially her middle child, Emily. Emily’s anger and hurtfulness is written realistically–and plays beautifully into Diane’s concerns about the choices Diane is struggling between. Diane’s friends and co-workers are also well-done–I was impressed with your ability to write different voices all of which are original and fully formed.

Most importantly, Michael and Diane are remarkably real people.  I’ve read countless contemporaries with famous, sexy young men—rock stars, athletes, bazillionaires–Michael is one of the most genuine. He’s a man–a young man–first, a musician second, and, several steps down the list, a rock star. His love for Diane seems impossibly idealistic and yet authentic. He’s fallen in love for the first time in his life—his joy and hope are breathtaking… and somewhat unbelievable to Diane. As she points out to him, their life together, were they to make a permanent life together, faces all sorts of pitfalls.

Diane’s fears, of course, aren’t unfounded, and that’s one of the very best things about this book. For Diane to partner with Michael, she has to believe not only in his love for her but in herself. We live in a culture where beauty, youth, and wealth are prized over their counterparts. Michael will always have more of all of those coveted assets than will Diane. She likes herself and yet, at one point, she hies herself off for a full spa makeover because, as she tells one of her best friends,

“A couple of nights ago, Michael and I went to the movies, and afterwards, I went to the bathroom, and you know how those lines are, so I was in there for a while, and when I came out, this incredible girl was talking to Michael. Sharon, she was gorgeous, legs up to her neck, boobs out to there, swinging all this long hair around. I just looked at her and felt, well, old and run-down. So I figured I’d treat myself to a little sprucing up.” “Shit.” Sharon said angrily. “You look fantastic, Diane.” Diane looked at her friend. “I know I do. I think I look great for my age. But I’m still forty-five, you know? My boobs sag, I’ve got those great little lines around my eyes, my jaw line is soft and puffy, not to mention the gray hair.” Sharon snorted. “Now wait. Your hair always looks terrific. I haven’t seen gray on your head in a long time.” Diane made a face. “I’m not talking about the hair on my head,” she said wryly. Sharon sighed. “Oh, that gray hair. Yeah, that really sucks.”

Yep, it does.

I don’t know if this book would resonate with younger women in the way that it did with me. If you’ve never, in an irate moment, seen age as just giving you more to shave, perhaps Diane’s fears might seem overblown. After all, she’s got a gorgeous, sweetheart of a man who loves her and has the sexual stamina of a twenty-six year old. But Diane’s fears and doubts are portrayed so well, so realistically that, honestly, I wasn’t sure how the book would end. But as I turned the pages, reading late in to the night, I hoped that Michael and his conviction of true love, would be stronger than Diane’s fears. I give it a B.

Sincerely,

Dabney

AmazonBN

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I thought the idea of themes is a great one for the book club so in June, we’ll have a friends to lovers themed book club. If you have your own suggestions, please email them to me jane at dear author.com

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3. Best First Book Nominee: Private Arrangements by Sherry Thomas

I have long been a fan of your books, particularly your Elemental Witches series. I find that your voice lends itself well to building paranormal worlds, and I’ve always appreciated your ability to build a fascinating mythology while never losing sight of the main couple’s romance. Which is why I was disconcerted to find myself struggling with your new book, Embrace of the Damned.

A damned Viking warrior.
Centuries ago Broder Calderson committed murder. As punishment, he was given over to the dominion of Loki, the Trickster God, made part of the Brotherhood of the Damned and condemned to an immortal life of battle against the Blight, blood-drinkers from Hel.

A mysterious woman he can’t resist.
One thousand years to the day he was damned, Loki allows him a woman as reward for his good service and repentance of his crimes. Once Broder sees Jessamine Hamilton, he is overcome with need. But Jessa is no ordinary woman, and the truth of who—and what—she is could have dangerous consequences.

A tormented man she can’t deny.
Though a future together is impossible, the warrior’s touch ignites an irresistible passion in Jessa. But every heated kiss pushes them closer to destruction. Forced to return to the brutality of his Viking past to protect her, will Broder surrender forever to his darkest impulses?

Jessamine Hamilton is shocked to find herself attacked one night while on a clandestine visit to the City Clerk’s office. While walking through a parking lot, she finds herself chased and cornered by what could only be described as a demon. Just as she thinks her life is about to end, the demon is destroyed by a hulking man, who stabs the demon causing it to turn to disintegrate into ice. This man is Broder Calderson, and he is a member of the Brotherhood of the Damned. A thousand years ago, Broder committed a crime so atrocious; he was damned to eternal service to the Norse god, Loki. During his servitude, Broder feels nothing. He has not been with a woman in a thousand years, and has lived for a promise made by Loki, that once he’s completed a thousand years of service, he will be given a woman as a reward. Little does Broder know when he rescues Jessa that she is that woman. He knows she’s in danger, and isn’t quite sure why the Blight (demons) would be after her.

Jessa has lost the only family she’s ever known, and has been manifesting strange abilities, particularly an affinity to electrical equipment. She can make any broken piece of electrical equipment work again. She’s always been an outsider who yearned to part of something, but was never able to connect with those around her. So when naturally, when Broder rescues her, she’s suspicious. When he tells her that she will surely die if she goes back to her previous life, she’s infuriated. Sure, she’s grateful that he saved her, but she wants no part of this new and terrifying world she has been exposed to. For his part, Broder is miserable. He’s desperately attracted to Jessa and wants her with a single-minded desperation, but she pushes him away constantly. Once he kisses her, he can taste that Jessa is a witch. The reasons why she was taken away from her clan is a mystery, and Broder believes returning her to that family before she is ready to fight for herself would be a huge mistake. He takes Jessa to his home in Europe and arranges for her training. The longer they are around each other, the more the connection between them grows. But Jessa realizes that she will be leaving Broder soon, and is very reluctant to begin any kind of involvement with him knowing that soon she’ll be joining her family.

On paper, this book is exactly the sort of paranormal romance I enjoy. I love alpha heroes, and deeply appreciate smart heroines. Where this book fell down for me was in the execution. The external conflict worked for me, and I quite enjoyed the fact that Norse gods, whom we don’t see much of in paranormal romance, were used as the foundation for the world building. Unfortunately, I found that there were a number of strands that were never picked up on, particularly Jessa’s ability with electrical equipment. While there were a few throw away scenes where Jessa’s ability came into play, unless I’m missing something, it was never utilized as a tool to propel the story forward. This felt like a wasted opportunity.

Another missed opportunity for me was the connection between the hero and heroine. While I’m all for sexual tension, and many of my favorite romances feature heavy doses of it, this book felt to me like the heroine was a bit of a tease. With every encounter she would go farther and farther with the hero, only to pull back at the final moment. This didn’t feel like sexual tension so much as a power play on her part. I never really understood her motivation for pulling back. The result for me was a belief that the heroine was childish and immature, which of course made me wish that Broder would move on without getting involved with her.

My final gripe with the book was the deus ex machina employed at the end of the book. I really hate stories where a magic wand is waved to give the couple their happily ever after. In this case, I felt like a character that really had no role in the book other than backstory “saved” the relationship. While I understood why you did it, it felt too easy for me. Particularly for a couple whose connection I didn’t completely buy in the first place.

All of that being said, I am intrigued by the world, and there is quite a bit of sequel bait here. I found your use of the Norse gods fresh and new, and enough to make me want more. Given that I am a long time reader of yours, I will continue with the series in the hopes that the next book will work better for me. Embrace of the Damned gets a C- from me.

Best wishes,
Kati

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Reading for and writing the reviews have kept me sane and made me utterly crazy. They’ve helped my academic work and kept me from it by keeping me up all night reading. I’ve discovered authors whose work I adore (K.A. Mitchell, Heidi Cullinan, A.M. Riley) and books that made me want to scream in anger and frustration — thankfully more of the former than the latter.

As much as I adore reviewing for DA, though, things have shifted in my life. For various convoluted reasons, I’ve started a business, Alphabet Editing, doing freelance fiction editing and BDSM consultation for authors. I’ll be working with self-publishing authors on their upcoming novels, and in the last two days, I’ve contracted with Riptide Publishing to work as an editor for them. As such, Jane and I came to a completely mutual decision that this presents too much of a conflict of interest for me to continue as a DA reviewer.

This step in my life would not be possible without my time at DA. Reviewing for DA helped me recognize wooden dialogue and dubious motivation at thirty paces. But I’m now transferred my reviewing skills to editing, hoping to catch those problems before the books are published, rather than after.

I will not be leaving the DA community — spending time with you guys is too much a part of my regular daytime procrastination — but I’ll be participating in it as a reader, just like the rest of you. And I might still be sharing with you some brilliant books (NOT ones I’ve worked on!) through some more Guest Reviews, bringing my time here full circle.

I want to thank Jane and the rest of the DA crew. I want to thank all you authors out there for sharing your characters and their journeys with us. But most of all I want to thank the DA readership. You guys are the best. I’ll still be sharing books with you, I promise. Just in slightly different ways.

-Sarah
Twitter: @sarahfrantz
Email: alphabetediting at gmail dot com

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I don’t know that you’ll find a better voice in the blogosphere for YA books and SFF books that Thea and Ana from The Booksmugglers.  I’m not the only one who believes this.  The Booksmugglers are one of the most trafficked book blogs on the internet.  They are bloggers at Tor.com and are now the featured writers for Kirkus’ SFF section.  They are not writers but cool ass readers.  So cool ass, Ana was one of a select few bloggers invited to Alnwick Castle to have tea with Duchess of Northumberland in the Castle’s State Dinning Room.   I asked them to tell us a little about how the two met, what they think about blogging and what books we should be excited about.  Here’s what the duo had to say:

DA: How did you two meet/set up the blog

TBS: We love it when we are asked this question as it gives us a chance to geek out! We met on a LOST Forum (yes, the television show LOST). We were (ok, still are) huge LOST fans and we used to spend hours every single day posting on this forum, geeking out with other fans, searching for spoilers online, creating theories about the showsand its characters. (Seriously, Thea came up with an awesome Grand Theory of Desmond which is basically a long essay about how important the character was for the show. Let’s pretend the actual ending didn’t happen.) Anyway, we met online and for the most part talked about LOST until we decided to create a Books thread…and then realised that the two of us were the most assiduous visitors to said thread. We then started to exchange private messages in which we realized that, unbeknownst to each other, we had both developed a sneaky habit to circumvent the angry, prying eyes of our significant others. Both of us had, independently and simultaneously, developed the perfect con – we would buy ridiculous amounts of books from Amazon, have them delivered to our respective offices, and then we would smuggle them home in enormous handbags and covertly hide the contraband on our ever-growing TBRs. All this was done to avoid the incessant complaints from our significant others about lack of space and how our books were taking over the house. Hah, you should see our houses and offices NOW. (Obviously, four years deep into The Book Smugglers, the proverbial cat is out of the oversized handbag! Our respective partners have learned to deal with the inevitable pile of books. Mostly.)

Around this time, Ana started reading and loving Romance novels – in a single order from Amazon, 10 Julia Quinn books were delivered. While searching online for more romance recommendations, she discovered the awesome world of blogging through blogs like Ramblings on Romance, Smart Bitches, an many more. With each passing day, Ana discovered more and more blogs until she was convinced that it would be a great idea to start her own blog to write about all the fantastic books she had been discovering, buying, and reading. She told Thea about this crazy blogging idea, Thea got super excited, and four years later, here we are.

Given our aforementioned smuggling activities, picking a name for the blog was the easiest thing in the world.

DA: What type of content you feature and how are books allocated for review?

TBS: We review a lot of different genres. When we started there was definitely a heavy focus on Romance (Ana) and SFF/UF/Horror (Thea). With time, we expanded our genres of coverage, changing to a heavier focus on Speculative Fiction and YA. Ana still reads the odd Romance novel (favourites remain Loretta Chase, Julie James, Rose Lerner, Meljean Brook), but her tastes have gone through some pretty dramatic shifts over the years!

In addition to reviews, we also do interviews, guest posts, cover spotlights, giveaways, as well as essays and other assorted ponderings. We also have regular seasonal features, such as our annual Halloween Week and our end of the year celebration, called Smugglivus (name inspired by Seinfeld‘s Festivus, of course). We also started a monthly newsletter this year.

Because we usually read different things, allocating books for review is pretty simple: we each pick what we want to read and put it on the calendar. When we both want to read the same book, we do a joint review. Simples! The only real problem arises when just one of us has a copy of a book that we both want to read (this usually happens when a book is released on just one side of the pond), or if one of us goes rogue and reads a highly anticipated book before the other. It has happened a couple of times. No one is pointing fingers but Ana is usually the culprit.

While we do receive a number of review copies and galleys from publishers and authors, we still purchase a shameless amount of books (both ebooks and print books).

DA: Did you have a vision for it or did your vision evolve?

TBS: When we started the blog, we had *no* vision whatsoever. The original plan was to post one review per person each week. We never kept that “plan” as we are both equally anal and obsessive about doing things. This is actually one of the most awesome things about us as a duo: we are equally engaged and dedicated to the blog and we have never had a single fight about one of us slacking off. Heck, we usually tell each other off for trying to do too much.

So yeah, in the beginning, there was no real vision or plan. We just read and reviewed what we felt like. Then something extraordinary happened: an author contacted us and offered an ARC for review (cue us, frantically googling the term “ARC”). At that point in time, we had no idea what an ARC was, nor were we aware of the fact that bloggers could have relationships with authors or publishers! With time, we began to learn more about the industry and eventually were contacted by authors and publishers about review opportunities, interviews, giveaways, blog tours, and more.

As we continue to grow (and as Thea now works full time in the publishing industry), the possibilities for The Book Smugglers in the future are endless! We have a vision of a future in which we’ve somehow helped the existing publishing industry figure out how to connect with bloggers and readers (without being alienating or, well, stupid about it). We have a vision of a future in which we – bloggers, not just The Book Smugglers – are a vital, vibrant part of an increasingly digital book ecosystem,spreading the word about the best books, and finding new ways to connect with other bloggers, readers and authors.

Vision is tough. Agenda is another matter. If you ask what our agenda is, that’s easy: world domination, one review at a time.

DA: What do you think that sets The Book Smugglers apart and/or what’s your favorite Book Smuggler feature?

Ana: Personally, I think what sets us apart is the same thing that sets Dear Author apart: we take any book seriously, regardless of its genre and review it in depth, critically, honestly and always with the aim to help our readers making an informed decision about which books to read. My favourite Book Smuggler feature? I have a soft spot for Smugglivus. It is always so much fun and there are so many awesome guests with great book recommendations.

Thea: Ditto to what Ana said about our – sometimes awkward and painful! – reviews. We aren’t happy-go-lucky bloggers that give five froot loops to every book we feature. We strive to be as detailed, critical, and personally honest about each and every book we review, and I think that is huge differentiation factor.

As for my favorite feature, I have to go with our “On the Smugglers’ Radar” posts. I have so much FUN scouring the interwebs for new pretty covers and fascinating forthcoming releases.

DA: What do you love about blogging? And is there anything you hate about it?

Ana: This might sound crazy but I love how busy we are with blogging! I love it when Thea and I have one of our “Organisation Parties” in which we list all the books we have, add them all to our shared calendar, and decide which joints we will be doing.

As for anything I hate about it…there isn’t anything really.

Thea: I love our Organization Parties, too (seriously, that’s what we call them. We are DORKS.)! Most of all, I think I love the feeling of reading a truly excellent book, writing a review, and then (hopefully!) watching the comments come in from people that haven’t heard of the book and now want to buy it, or from people that have read the book and also loved it, or from people that have read the book and hated it. The discourse and the different reactions to reviews are so intensely awesome, and I love seeing the range of opinions. It’s wicked cool.

DA: How much time does it take to keep it going?

TBS: Honestly? The Book Smugglers is a second full time job. We blog from work, we blog from class, we blog whenever we have an iota of free time, and we check emails CONSTANTLY. We read other blogs all the time, we (well Ana) tweets constantly, we tumblr blog, and we obsess about what to feature in our next newsletter or what else we can be doing to keep growing as a platform and make ourselves bigger, better, and stronger. We read and write whenever we have free time: when we wake up, before going to bed, on lunch breaks, during our commutes, while watching TV, on the treadmill, on weekends and when travelling, Thea has perfected the art of reading and walking at the same time while carrying multiple handbags AND an umbrella…well, you get the picture. It is a lot of work. It is ALL the time.

And we love it.

DA: What is the one thing you would do for your blog if you had unlimited funds?

TBS: If we had unlimited funds, we would probably just quit our day jobs and dedicate ALL OF OUR TIME to the blog.

DA: Books we should be on the lookout for?

Ana: There is this one book that I have been raving about and thus far it is the BEST book I read in 2012. It is called CODE NAME VERITY by Elizabeth Wein and it’s about two women – a pilot and a spy – and their friendship during WWII. It is just SO amazing in terms of story but also in terms of narrative. Just one thing: make sure to have tissues at hand.

Thea: The best book I’ve read in 2012 so far is N.K. Jemisin’s The Killing Moon, which is a truly marvelous fantasy book set in a world inspired by Ancient Egypt, with a POC (persons of color) cast, and a remarkable sense of politics, action, and worldbuilding. Book 2 in the duology is out this summer! Also awesome: Jennifer Nielsen’s The False Prince, which is an unexpectedly fantastic twist on a Prince and the Pauper type of sensibility and should appeal to fans of Megan Whalen Turner.

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Your novella, Gaijin, caught me by surprise. A friend recommended it to me on Twitter and then loaned it to me through my Kindle. I had heard about it and investigated purchasing it once before, but shied away from making an actual purchase. Somehow, I wasn’t expecting as much thoughtfulness as I got.

To begin with, I want to make it clear to readers of this review that Gaijin is in no way a romance. It is erotica, but whether or not a reader finds it erotic will likely depend on that reader’s feelings about reading rape scenes. All the sex scenes in Gaijin are non-consensual, and for me, the novella’s strength was that it doesn’t shield readers from that knowledge, and yet, despite its toughness, it was bearable to read.

There is not much plot to Gaijin. Instead, there is a situation, and it is a tough situation.

Jennifer awoke to a dull throbbing pain in her chest. She opened her eyes to blackness and felt an immediate flare of panic. She wasn’t at home; this wasn’t her room, her bed. The pain in her breasts, a hot, pulsing, generalized ache, was all that distracted her from the strangeness she had found herself in. Someone, something had tried to hurt her.

Instinctively, she tried to pull her arms up to cradle her chest, but her arms wouldn’t move. They felt frozen and useless, numb, behind her back. Another bright bloom of panic surged up her throat and exploded in her head and, this time, no amount of pain could stop its eruption. Jennifer rolled onto her side and screamed into the darkness.

Jennifer has been in Japan for a year, working at a place called the Blonde Chicks bar. Now she has been kidnapped by a man whom she had refused to serve instead of the table she was booked to work at. Shindo has had Jennifer’s nipples pierced while she was passed out, but he has waited until she is awake to rape her.

I don’t want to spoil exactly what befalls Jennifer and what she does to try to change her situation. Instead, I would rather talk about the novella’s themes. At 57 pages it is pretty short, and it comes to an end quickly, but what I liked about it was that it left me thinking.

At its center were two issues, rape and culture clash. No character was fully sympathetic, not even Jennifer, despite her plight. She has little cultural sensitivity and seems to have been drawn to Japan for its surface beauty and then stung by a bad case of culture shock.

She knew nothing about the Japanese male psyche. A year of flattering them hadn’t given her any insight into what made them tick, really. All she knew was that, at some level, they were all insane; the outrageous lengths they would go to, just to avoid having their pride hurt, their “face.” Face, she didn’t understand it. She only knew that their whole world revolved around it. And how would piercing her nipples and then killing her save anyone’s face?

Here’s what I liked about Gaijin: how in one paragraph you can take me from feeling alienation from Jennifer’s racism, to feeling terrible pity for her and almost understanding her warped point of view.

I wasn’t sure if I was meant to share her perspective or meant to revile it; in a discomifiting way, I was reminded of my first year as a new immigrant in the US, when, at age eleven, I hated the fricking squirrels because they were so alien to me. For me, Jennifer’s hatefulness toward Japanese men was at once horrible and believable and in no way justified Shindo’s treatment of her.

Jennifer isn’t the only ethnocentric character in the story. Shindo and his cohorts throw around the term gaijin a lot, and it feels as though some of them don’t see her humanity or acknowledge her suffering.

Shindo is a mystery, in that we never get his POV and like Jennifer I didn’t quite know what to expect from him. He seems to have some kind of obsession with Jennifer, he rapes her over and over and demands to know why she is cold, yet his demands came across as absurd, since there is far greater coldness in his actions toward her far than in her honesty with him.

There are moments when we glimpse Shindo’s humanity. For example, at one point in the story we learn that Shindo’s father was in one secondary character’s view, far worse than Shindo. In a lesser book, this would be our cue to sympathize with Shindo – to pity him for having possibly been abused. Here, it’s just one more signpost on a road to purgatory. Nothing, not Jennifer’s racism, not Shindo’s crappy childhood, and not the orgasms he inflicts on his victim, serves to justify his actions.

The friend who loaned me the story said that it was almost an exercise in forcing reality on the reader through Jennifer’s POV, and one that casts a harsh light on the rape fantasy. That was how I felt about it too. It didn’t matter to me that the sex was erotic at times. In some books with non-consensual scenes, I consent for the heroine. Here, I couldn’t consent, but what enabled me to keep reading was the beauty of the language.

He sat up, straddled her hips, and began to unbutton his shirt. Jennifer turned her head, fixing her gaze on the snow beyond the window. Now it was dark, all she could see was the flurry of white particles, illuminated by the light inside, brushing chaotically against the black pane.

Life was like that, she thought as she heard the fabric of his shirt rustle, sometimes you got elected president, sometimes you got raped. Life was mindless chaos.

“Look at me.”

It was hard to drag her gaze away from the window. There was something stupidly Zen and comforting in the fact that she hadn’t done anything to get here. She was a snowflake that had brushed up against a plane of black obsidian.

“Look at me!” he barked.

Gaijin isn’t perfect. There are some copyediting errors and the novella feels abbreviated, more of slice-of-life vignette than a story. Also, at $3.99 for 57 pages, the price seems kind of steep. For me it was worth reading nonetheless, thanks to the discomfort I felt at what happened and the odd comfort provided by the imagery and words. B.

Sincerely,

Janine

PS Since a spoiler was requested in the comments, I have added one below:

[[Visit blog to check out this spoiler]]

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I somehow forgot I bought this game last year. Since I was in the mood for a game set in Jane Austen’s fictional universe, I was all for it. Even when I discovered it’s not an adventure game, but a RPG (role-playing game) or strategy game. I hadn’t played this type of game before but hey, it’s Jane Austen. So I was willing to try.

Right off the bat, the game opens with a tutorial to explain that you’re the heroine in the world of Pride and Prejudice – which includes some elements from other two Austen novels: Persuasion and Sense and Sensibility – and your actions will determine your matrimonial path, and blah blah blah. I was impatient enough to leap over the rest of tutorials into the game.

A big mistake.

Because I somehow ended up marrying someone I didn’t expect to marry. To say that my jaw was on the floor would be the understatement of this century. I’d expected to marry Mr. Darcy himself. Oh no, Matches and Matrimony won’t make it that easy for the likes of me. Well chastened, I went back to the game’s tutorials and dutifully read all before trying again.

Matches and Matrimony: A Pride and Prejudice Tale is essentially a dating sim that revolves around your decisions in how you would pick an activity for each day of your five-day week — depending on your path, there are potentially fourteen weeks in total per game — and how some characters who might like you more or less, based on your responses. And this would affect the percentage of your sum and subsequently influence your matrimonial path.

Each activity has points, plus or minus, for each of nine characteristic traits: Willpower, Wit, Talent, Kindness, Propriety, Sensibility and Energy.

If you select ‘Go Visiting’ for one day of your week, it’ll increase Kindness (+6) and Propriety (+4), and decrease Energy (-10). And ‘Read a Book’ for another day, which would increase Wit and Sensibility while decreasing Willpower. ‘Rest’ for one day would mean Energy 40+ alone.

Note: sometimes it’d reverse unexpectedly. When you might expect more points for certain traits, it’d go in the opposite direction and decrease those much-needed points. (I later figured out why that happened, so you’ll probably figure out yourself, too.)

At the first try, I had no strategy – none whatsoever – so I randomly clicked on an activity for each day and hoped for the best. Oh, I did have a bit of a strategy: I’d made sure that I was nice to everyone. Never rude or confrontational. Good manners, always.

And that, readers, is how I ended up with that dreadfully dull cousin, Mr. Collins, as my husband.

Oh, the horror.

So, how you choose activities for your heroine each week does affect your path. Sometimes, crazily so. Likewise with your interactions with various characters throughout the story as their reactions will influence your path, positively or negatively.

To begin with, you get to name the heroine – clearly based on Elizabeth Bennet – however you like. I found this rather disconcerting, to be honest. I mean, ‘Fia Bennet’ doesn’t sound quite right, does it?

I did later have fun by naming my heroine after my baby brother, ‘Alasdair Bennet’, though. Pretty immature, but so fun.

While most characters are from Austen’s fictional universe, the details of some characters are different. Such as Mr. Wickham, from Pride and Prejudice, is renamed as Mr. Wickeby for this game, but everything he says and does in this game resembles those of Mr. Willioughby from Sense and Sensibility. Mr. Bingley’s first name went from Charles to Edward. For a while, I didn’t notice this change until I vaguely remembered that Edward is from Sense and Sensibility and that his surname is Ferrars. It explains why Mr. Bingley seems a combination of Charles Bingley and Edward Ferrars. I don’t think there are any more significant changes. Not as far as I can recall, anyroad.

Well, not all characters from Pride and Prejudice appear in this game. Younger Bennet sisters – Mary and Kitty – don’t show up. So, along with the Bennet parents, it’s just Elizabeth (you), Jane and Lydia (who’s renamed Lydianne for this game).

Did all those changes mess with my head? Yup. I think the game designers did it to make the game unpredictable for various paths to the nine possible endings.

In other words, what you know about Austen’s novels may work against you.

My sketchy recollections of the novels had clearly worked against me because I kept marrying the wrong suitors, from Colonel Brandon (Sense and Sensibility) to Captain Wentworth (Persuasion), or ending up alone as “an old maid”. I mean, I was left pretty nonplussed when I somehow managed to marry Mr. Bingley as well. And that cad, Mr. Wickesy (a.k.a. Wickham from Pride and Prejudice and Williboughy from Sense and Sensibility). I also ended up being well liked by the dreadful Bingley sisters and thoroughly disliked by my supposedly best friend, Charlotte.

The competitive cow in me was annoyed enough to replay the game to correct all that as well as to achieve the ultimate goal: marry Mr. Darcy.

Although the game itself was easy to master, finding the Darcy route wasn’t that easy. In fact, it was so challenging that I ended up playing the game repeatedly for a couple of hours, trying every possible route.

If you play this game just right, you’ll be involved with all main key plot points of Pride and Prejudice including the awesome confrontation with a certain snobbish Lady and the famous first proposal scene with Darcy and Elizabeth (you).

I oddly felt thrilled whenever the red line in Darcy’s ‘attachment’ bar increased. He likes me, he likes me! And I let out a little cheer when I finally married him. I admit I did feel a little pathetic afterwards but hey, I nabbed that surprisingly elusive bloke.

 I don’t think I’d have enjoyed replaying the game so much if it wasn’t for the game’s Skip function, though. This function allows you to speed through all dialogues and scenes you’d already seen until a new dialogue line or scene appears.

So you can replay the game until you reach your chosen ending.  I read somewhere online that three endings involve Darcy, but I had managed to reach just six out of the nine endings so there are two more Darcy endings I haven’t tried yet. Gah. At least it shows that this game’s replayability value is pretty high.

The game also has an option to save a spot any time throughout the game, up to 10 slots. And believe me, readers, you will definitely need this option.

Because when you realise you don’t like where your path is heading, you can’t return to change your selection of activities for that week. Once you’ve made your choices, your path is determined. So each time your heroine says “Now is probably the best time to save your game” before you could make your selection of activities, do it! You can save a game over a previous save when you run out of the save slots.

The game’s options page is pretty basic as it has functions for you to control the Music and Sound Volume, ‘After choices’ (stop skipping or keep skipping), Display (full screen or windowed mode), and Text Speed.

Also, bundled with the game are Austen’s full novels: Pride and Prejudice, Persuasion and Sense and Sensibility, that you can read within the game.

And of course, it has information guides (mostly to explain each character trait) and character profiles.

While it’d grown on me during the game, I found the general art rather frustrating. This sort doesn’t usually bother me, but since we  see the background art repeatedly throughout a game? And when we see Darcy’s supposedly magnificent home? It can make one wish the game makers had invested in a better artist.

Some dialogue exchanges – especially the ones involving Mr. Collins - were a tad long-winded. I did wonder if this was intentional, though. Occasionally, some parts felt repetitive but I can’t tell if it was due to my impatience or the pacing of the game itself.

It’s quite a short game, too. Perhaps between twenty to forty minutes per game, I’d say? Well, it depends on each path. The ’best’ path lasts roughly fifty minutes while each of ‘bad’ paths varies between twenty to thirty minutes. The shortest – and the worst – path is the Mr. Collins route, which typically lasts twenty minutes. Of course, it also depends on your pacing preference. I’m a speedy gamer, so it was a quick play each time. Well, except for that damn Darcy route.

And I really don’t understand why the game creators set Jane Austen’s novels in “Victorian times” (see left for the ‘TALENT’ screenshot). I don’t know much about period costumes, but I’m pretty sure some background characters are wearing 1880s-era clothes and hats, too.

Anyhow, the competitive cow in me quite enjoyed playing the game repeatedly so it deserves a B from me.

Suitable for all ages and ideal for players who are looking for a fun dating sim. Also for those who like simple RPGs with a bit of a challenge. Some parts of the game might have Austen purists twitching, but Matches and Matrimony: A Pride and Prejudice Tale is honestly a gentle fun and sweet-natured game.

Available in Windows and Mac at all major online retail stores including Big Fish Games ($2.99), Amazon US/UK/etc. ($6.99) and iWin ($6.95).

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Personal Note: Self publishing mentality creeps into other creative venues. Louis CK did it with stand up comedy. Now musicians via kickstarter. It’s all about the platform now.

In E-Reader Age of Writer’s Cramp, a Book a Year Is Slacking – NYTimes.com – “For years, it was a schedule as predictable as a calendar: novelists who specialized in mysteries, thrillers and romance would write one book a year, output that was considered not only sufficient, but productive. But the e-book age has accelerated the metabolism of book publishing. Authors are now pulling the literary equivalent of a double shift, churning out short stories, novellas or even an extra full-length book each year. “ NYTimes

Personal Note: Because it is all about platform and platforms are built on constant (but good) content.

A Non-Book Smuggler Survey: The Results | The Book Smugglers – “Highlights
• Predominantly female audience (95%)
• Young (31 years old), international, educated, and with disposable income
• Overwhelmingly read ebooks (81%); purchase at least 4 books per month
• Ideal price for ebooks is $4.00-$6.99
• Do not care (and will not pay a higher price) for enhanced ebooks/enhanced content
• Highly likely to purchase limited edition/collectible hardcover editions”The Booksmugglers

Personal Note: A must read data compilation by Thea from the BookSmugglers (a graduate student who wrote her thesis on ebook prices). She compiled responses from over 919 respondents.

If You Think The Cost Of ‘Piracy’ Is High, What About The Cost Of Enforcement? | Techdirt – “Take, for example, the predecessor to SOPA/PIPA: the ProIP Act, which passed in 2008. A report by the Congressional Budget Office showed that the cost of this bill, which is almost entirely focused on increased enforcement was $435 million. Yes, you read that right. Taxpayers have been on the hook for nearly half a billion dollars for the increased enforcement initiatives — like the spectacular flop known as Operation In Our Sites. Is this really a wise use of taxpayer resources? “ Techdirt

Newly discovered Mayan calendar goes way past 2012 – USATODAY.com – Newly discovered wall writings found in Guatemala show the famed Maya culture’s obsession with cycles of time. But they also show calendars that go well beyond 2012, the year when the vanished civilization, according to popular culture, expected the end of the world. “So much for the supposed end of the world,” says archaeologist William Saturno of Boston University, lead author of a study in the journal Science, which reported the discovery on Thursday. USA Today

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I found this story by clickingclickingclicking through the various posted responses to our post about M/M romance and Fan Fiction. Heidi gives good blog and then I was intrigued, as I always am with prison stories, by the short she wrote with Violetta Vane. This story is fabulous, I’m so thrilled I found it, and I can’t wait for more from this pair of authors.

Click for a larger NSFW image

This summary doesn’t do much to explain how GOOD this story is. The writing is brilliant, gripping. The characters are engrossing. The story’s told entirely from Troy’s deep third-person perspective, but Daniel’s still a great presence.

Two weirdnesses:

1. If you buy the book direct from Storm Moon Press, it’ll come with an outtake, a blowjob scene from the middle of the book. Reading this scene after reading the story, I can’t understand why it was taken out. It’s integral to the establishment of the characters of both Troy and Daniel and to their relationship dynamic. It makes the betrayal later in the book more devastating, it makes the ending more magical. This is a perfect example of how erotic scenes, when done right, can NOT just be cut out without damaging the rest of the story.

2. The ending is a HFN/HEA, but only through a measure of magical realism that is hinted at, but by no means an integral part of the rest of the book. This book is firmly contemporary-set, but the only way these men are getting their HEA is through paranormal mumbo-jumbo, so it’s necessary to the book, worked in well, but a little unusual. My literary self both loved the implications of the way the ending was done, but had also enjoyed the story and characters so much that I would have been content with a non-HEA ending. And I never ever ever say that.

Grade: B+

P.S. Cover is horrible, but I love that Troy is actually depicted as Middle Eastern, as he is in the book.

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Honestly, if someone told me a week ago that I’d be reading a book about a woman with a crappy life who survived a car wreck with only a concussion that now lets her communicate with a pet lizard and that in order to pay the astronomical medical bills pilling up to keep her comatose young niece in a speciality hospital has taken up a mobster’s offer to undertake a hit, I would have told them, “Are you shitting me?!” No, wait that’s not emphatic enough. It would probably have been more like, “Are you shitting me and are you on crack?!” But here I sit having just finished “Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman” and all I can pant is “Give me more!” And, “What happens next?!”

So how did I make the decision to read the book? Jane sent it along with a bunch of others and frankly I needed to weed through them all and clear out the “no f’ing way” ones to make room for the new boxes that arrived. With my mission in mind, I began reading the back blurbs and opening chapters. The back blurb of your book sounded like it could be awful. Settling in beside a towering pile of paperbacks, I dug in thinking, “one chapter and we’re probably done here.” Only the next thing I knew, it was 50 pages later. Let me say that the back cover, while certainly accurate, doesn’t give a hint of the style that kept me compulsively turning pages or the plot that grabbed me by the throat and wouldn’t let go.

You certainly do have a “voice” and I completely enjoyed my time listening to it. But I’ll say that it’s probably not for everyone and that since a lot of people don’t like 1st person POV, that won’t help further the cause much. But I loved it. Maggie is a breath of sardonic fresh air. But beyond the deadpan humor and sarcasm, what kept me reading is that Maggie isn’t always right and certainly isn’t perfect. But her heart is in the right place and she tries. And for her little niece, she’ll do anything even if that means buying live crickets for “Godzilla” Katie’s brown anole lizard pet who speaks to Maggie in the voice of Alan Rickman. Maybe a little too much time spent watching Snape?

The fact that I enjoyed the bizarre paranormal aspects of the plot is amazing since I generally run a mile to avoid them in the books I read. However, “God” as he prefers to be called, is a truly delightful character though I wonder how he and Doomsday will work out the living arrangements. Then again maybe they bonded over the second hit Maggie had to carry out with the help of Patrick the detective/mob hitman? Which leads me to another reason I shouldn’t have liked this book because if there was ever any more rock solid conflict standing between two people who crackle with chemistry, I haven’t come across it. Talk about a fucked up family life that Patrick deals with…And let’s not forget Maggie’s meddling aunts, her father in the State Pen, and her mother in the psych ward – these people have issues.

Some might say you kinda cop out by giving Maggie and Patrick the power to turn down hits they don’t want to carry out or that the two people who are killed in the book are made to be such obvious villains with no redeeming qualities but there are limits beyond which I won’t go in books I read for fun so I’ll accept all this. And reiterate that I can’t wait to find out 1. How crappy the bridesmaid dress Maggie will have to buy will be. 2. If Paul has come into Maggie’s life for the reason I think he has. 3. If “God” will help Doomsday with her grammar. 4. Does he talk to Katie too? and 5. At whose wedding will Maggie have to take out her next hit? I’ll be waiting for answers. B

~Jayne

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This is a long article. Grab a cup of coffee and settle in.   I wrote this article and sent it to the RWR but it wasn’t suited for publication so I thought I would share it with you.   The right to sever a copyright grant after 35 years came to my attention when Evan Schnittman mentioned it briefly at the end of one of his articles.   I went off to research the issue because I found it fascinating.   This is what I learned.

A new author enters a publishing contract with very little negotiating power. She is presented with a contract with stock terms and an offer of an advance in exchange for an assignment of her intellectual property rights to the publisher. Often she is in the position of either taking the contract with little changes or not publishing. The Supreme Court noted that “authors are congenitally irresponsible, [and] that frequently they are so sorely pressed for funds that they are willing to sell their work for a mere pittance.” Fisher Music Co. v. Witmark, 318 U.S. 643, 656 (1943).

Congress, who is responsible for setting the parameters of the copyright law in the United States, recognizes the economic imbalance between authors and publishers and has tried to include provisions to correct the imbalance. One of those provisions under the current copyright law is the right of termination of a previously granted copyright.

Historical Background

Initially, the 1909 Copyright Law allowed for renewal terms. The 1909 Copyright Law was based, in part, on the Statute of Anne, the very first law that provided protection for the creative works of authors. The Statute of Anne granted authors 14 years of protection and the 1909 Copyright Law doubled it. The creator of a work registered for a copyright and was granted protection for 28 years. At the end of 28 years, the creator could renew the copyright for another 28 years. The need for renewal allowed the creator to renegotiate the original grant of copyright, usually for better terms. As the end of the two year renewal terms loomed near, Congress began debating extension of the copyright.

Congress passed the Copyright Act of 1976 and added 19 years to the copyrights which were created under the 1909 Act giving those works 75 years of protection. New works were granted protection for the life of the author plus fifty years (which was the international standard at the time). In the Copyright Renewal Act of 1992, Congress did away with renewals added an additional 47 years of protection. This essentially made copyright protection for all works published under the 1909 Act to have a copyright term of 75 years.

Sonny Bono Copyright Term Extension Act (known as CTEA) added an additional 20 years of protection to all copyrighted works. Works produced on and after January 1, 1978 were granted life of the author plus seventy years. Works created prior to January 1, 1978, and either in the first or second term of renewal, were granted an additional 20 years of protection.

The longer term both helps and hurts authors. It helps authors in that they and their heirs are entitled to more revenue from their creative works, but it hurts because there is no time in which an author can renegotiate her rights if that is not a provision in the original grant language.

Essentially the renewal period in the 1909 Act allowed for a natural reversion of rights. Renewal was complicated for an author. Many missed the renewal deadline, failed to follow the procedure accurately, and signed away their expectancy in the first time instead of waiting. Congress, when it eliminated renewals and extended the period of protection, included a reversion of rights through a termination procedure.

Section 203:

In the case of any work other than a work made for hire, the exclusive or nonexclusive grant of a transfer or license of copyright or of any right under a copyright, executed by the author on or after January 1, 1978, otherwise than by will, is subject to termination…

Upon the effective date of termination, all rights under this title that were covered by the terminated grants revert to the author, authors, and other persons owning termination interests…

17 U.S.C.A.  § 203 (a) (2009).

The purpose of Section 203 is to provide authors a natural reversion of rights so that they get a second bite at the bargaining apple. It allows any author, or a person assigned by the author, to terminate the original grant during a five year period beginning 35 years after the publication was made or 40 years after the grant of rights, whichever comes first.

The key difference between Section 203 and section 304 is who has the right to terminate the grant of copyright. Section 203 applies only to contracts signed by authors and only the author and the author’s assignee via a will or other document would have the right to exercise the termination provision.

Ostensibly, Section 203 limits the duration of a grant or a maximum period of time in which a grant can be effective. After that maximum period of time has expired, the author recaptures her rights and has the ability to put them on the marketplace once again. Contractually, an author and her publisher can grant a shorter period of time. For example, a standard author contract has an “out of print” provision which requires a publisher to keep the work in print for a period of time. If the publisher allows the work to go out of print for a period of six months or more, the author may request by written notice that the work be placed back into print. If the publisher fails to do so within a proscribed period of time, then the grant is terminated and the rights revert back to the author.

Each contract must be examined for reversion of rights language and how reversion of rights is to be effectuated. “In print” is defined by the contract and standard terms may include language such as “in print if it is in stock or available for sale in any edition of the Publisher or any of its licensees”. The timing or occurrence of reversion of rights can differ for print v. digital rights, or territorial rights. Digital rights will often revert if, during a period of time, royalties do not exceed a specified floor.

If the publisher is keeping the work in print, however, rights would never revert back and, therefore, an author is entitled to reclaim those rights through the exercise of Section 203 termination.

What Can You Terminate Under Section 203?

In the case of any work other than a work made for hire, the exclusive or nonexclusive grant of a transfer or license of copyright or of any right under a copyright, executed by the author on or after January 1, 1978, otherwise than by will, is subject to termination

An author can terminate almost any transfer of her copyright if the grant was executed on or after January 1, 1978. The grant must fulfill the following qualifications:

a) Not be a work for hire
b) Executed by the author and no one else
c) Not a grant made via a will

Problems arise if the original grant was open ended. The Rano v. Sipa, 987 F.2d 580 (9th Cir. 1992) case suggests that an open ended contractual grant cannot be terminated except for that 5 year period defined in Section 203. Walthal v. Rusk, 172 F.3d 481 (7th Cir. 1999), determined that a contract for an indefinite period of time can be terminated by the request of either party to the contract. Thus in some states, unless the original grant is for longer than 35 years, the contract will not be terminable until the conditions of Section 203 are satisfied.

Further, derivative works that were made pursuant to the grant cannot be terminated.

Who Can Terminate?

Basically, the author and the author’s heirs are the only ones entitled to terminate a grant made after January 1, 1978. In the case of an anthology, or joint work, a majority of the authors must execute the notice for termination.

This becomes more complicated if the author has died, in the case of either a solo or joint work. For example, for the heirs to terminate a grant, they must hold more than 50 percent interest in the work. If the author has a spouse, the spouse is entitled to the entire interest, but if the author has children, the spouse is entitled to only 50 percent and the remaining 50 percent is split between children and grandchildren (obviously this is an issue ripe for a book!). In Larry Spier, Inc. v. Bourne Co., 953 F.2d 774, 777 (2d. Cir. 1992), the author included his mistress as a beneficiary in his will, but the court found that the mistress was not entitled to a termination right because the statute applied only to spouses and children.

When Can You Terminate?

Termination of the grant may be effected at any time during a period of five years beginning at the end of thirty-five years from the date of execution of the grant; or, if the grant covers the right of publication of the work, the period begins at the end of thirty-five years from the date of publication of the work under the grant or at the end of forty years from the date of execution of the grant, whichever term ends earlier.

17 U.S.C.A.  § 203(a)(3) (2009).

An author is entitled to terminate the grant 35 years after the execution or 40 years after the first date of publication, whichever comes first. In order for termination to occur and rights to revert, notice must be timely given. According to Section 203, notice must be within 10 years, but no less than two years before the effective date of termination provided in the notice.

Equation:

Date of Execution of Grant + 40 = X
Date of Publication + 35 = Y

Compare X and Y.   Which is the earliest date?
Earliest date – 10 = first date you can send in your termination notice

Earliest date   - 2 = last date you can send in your termination notice

Example 1:

Book rights are sold to a publisher in 1980 and the book  is published in 1982

1980 = date of execution of the grant
1982 = date of publication

1980 + 40 = 2020
1982+35 = 2017

2017 v. 2020 = 2017 being the earlier date
2017 -10 = 2007 is the first date upon which to terminate a grant
2017-2 = 2015 is the last date upon which to terminate a grant.

How Do I Terminate?

The termination shall be effected by serving an advance notice in writing, signed by the number and proportion of owners of termination interests … or by their duly authorized agents, upon the grantee or the grantee’s successor in title.

17 U.S.C.A.  § 203(a)(3) (2009).

The Code of Federal Regulation  §210.10(b)(2) lays out in detail the contents of the termination notice. It does not provide a form. A termination notice should include the following for each work (other provisions apply if it is the heirs who are terminating the grant):

• Name and address of the author or authors heirs
• Date of the execution of the grant (often this will be the date of the signed contract) and the date of the first publication of the work.
• Title of the work and the author. If it is a joint work such as anthology, the notice should list all the authors who are requesting the termination.
• Original copyright number, if possible.
• A statement describing the original grant.
• The effective date of the termination.
• Signature of the author or authors or duly authorized agent.

Each termination notice must be recorded with the Copyright Office with the correct information and during the correct time frame. Failure to properly record a termination may result in the termination being invalid. In other words, this is not something you should try at home, but rather contact an entertainment lawyer or your agent to effectuate the termination. Once those rights are reverted back, the content creator has another opportunity to sell their valuable works.

Only Terminate Once

While Congress wanted to protect authors, it is determined that the authors are only entitled to one chance at renegotiating their contracts. In Penguin Group (USA) v. Steinbeck, 537 F.3d 193, 204 (2nd Cir. 2008), the court noted that the termination provision could only be used once by authors and their heirs:

It should be noted that under our view, authors or their statutory heirs holding termination rights are still left with an opportunity to threaten (or to make good on a threat) to exercise termination rights and extract more favorable terms from early grants of an author’s copyright. But nothing in the statute suggests that an author or an author’s statutory heirs are entitled to more than one opportunity, between them, to use termination rights to enhance their bargaining power or to exercise them. See 17 U.S.C.  § 304(d) (permitting exercise of termination right only “where the author or owner of the termination right has not previously exercised such termination right”).

Conclusion

It is increasingly important to obtain one’s rights in this changing publishing period. The second chance to negotiate one’s work can result in a higher royalty rate, new advances, and other economic opportunities.

Disclaimer: A short article can never address all the legalities of termination and the following is only intended to provide an overview. Those that have questions about a specific grant should seek legal counsel as soon as possible. The works that are subject to a pre January 1, 1978, grant must follow the termination clause provision in Section 304. Those works that were subject to a grant post January 1, 1978, must follow the termination clause in Section 203. This article addresses only Section 203 provisions.

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From Flickr account ĐāżŦ {mostly absent)

Copyrights, particularly lengthy ones, benefit the corporations that license and/or those copyrights.  The Copyright Extension Act of 1998 isn’t called the Mickey Mouse protection act because it is designed to protect individual creators.  It is designated as such because it benefits one of the largest owners of intellectual property, Disney.  As of 1998, the term of copyright extends from 50 years for an individual and 75 years for a corporation to life of an author plus 70 years and 120 years for a corporation or 95 years after publication, whichever occurs earlier.

The reason that this is problematic is that when authors sell or license their works to a publisher, it is ordinarily for the term of copyright.  When a new author or an author with little following enters into negotiation with a publisher, she rarely holds a position of power.  This has changed given the new options available to authors such as digital first or self publishing but the fact remains that an individual’s ability to negotiate differing terms from the boilerplate is challenging.

Even the Supreme Court acknowledged this in Fisher Music Co. v. Witmark, 318 U.S. 643, 656 (1943).  The Court said  “authors are congenitally irresponsible, [and] that frequently they are so sorely pressed for funds that they are willing to sell their work for a mere pittance.” Id.

As a result, authors are allowed to reclaim their copyright after 35 years.  I wrote an extensive article about this in 2009 (which I am reposting today).  A longer term of copyright protection helps because value from the  author’s creative works can pass to his or her heirs.  The longer copyright hurts authors because it does not allow for a period of renegotiation.  We have seen the backlist of authors become valuable but not exploitable by authors.

Marsha Canham noted on her blog that  the backlist titles are bound by old contracts wherein the royalty rates were 6-8% of “net”.

What does the author get out of that, you ask?  Well…remember that these are backlist books, so the author probably has an old contract that, in some cases, gives the same royalty rate for ebooks (which were just a glimmer on the horizon ten years ago, and twenty years ago not even a glimmer) as for print books, which would be between 6-8%  of the *net* price.

..

But I digress again. NOT counting any net mumbo jumbo, we now have $52,300 for those books. Out of that, the author *should* get 25% which would work out to $13,075. But using Publisher Math, they only get $6537. And if the contract is older, and we’re working off the 8% royalties…that number zooms  down to $4184, which, using Publisher Math, can become finostigated down to around $2K.  Even if it’s left at the 8%, the publisher still gets the lion’s share of $48,116. And if it’s left at 25%, they keep $39,225.

$39,225 for the publisher, $13,075 for the author, and that’s using rose colored glasses for the 25% royalty rate on 10,000 downloads of a $7.99 ebook without any finostigating. Take off the glasses, use the 8% and the numbers change to $48,116 for the publisher and $4184. for the author.

The current standard royalty rate for digital books are 20-25% of net.

A shorter term of copyright, such as 14 years with several renewal periods of 14 years a piece would allow an author to renegotiate a contract every 14 years, taking advantage of the changing landscape in publishing.   It may be to the author’s benefit to sell every renewal period up front or she could preserve her renewal periods and take a lower offer initially.  However, a shorter copyright period with subsequent renewal periods would endow the author with additional bullets in her negotiating weapon.

The time period for reclaiming one’s copyright has passed for some books published in 1978. 2013, for example, will be the last year for some authors to exercise their termination rights.  The termination right is a valuable option for authors, but one that requires affirmative action.  A shorter copyright term would automatically limit the length of the grant of copyright and allow for renegotiation which would better reflect the rapidly changing market.

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I’m a big Edgar Allan Poe fan. Any book with a title referencing him is always going to get a second look from me. Combined with a striking cover, it’s almost guaranteed I will pick it up. I initially thought Masque of the Red Death was a debut, but your name sounded familiar so I did a quick search. I discovered I’d reviewed your debut (a contemporary YA) a few years ago. And while I didn’t much care for that novel, I’m always willing to give an author another try, especially if their next work is something different.

Masque of the Red Death takes place in a neo-Victorian, steampunk city reminiscent of New Orleans. It’s a decaying metropolis, practically in ruins, in no small part due to a highly contagious plague that’s afflicted the populace. Our protagonist, Araby Worth, is the daughter of a scientist. Her father invented the masks that allow people to travel out in the open without fear of contracting the disease. This allows her a position of privilege.

You see, only the wealthy can afford the masks. The poor are left to fend for themselves. Of course, the rich take all this doom and gloom seriously. With death and disease all around, most of them spend their time at the Debauchery Club where they can forget their pain through drugs and meaningless sex.

Araby’s reasons for going to the Debauchery Club, however, are more personal. She once had a twin brother and we’re led to believe he died from the plague. Araby feels both responsibility for his death and guilt because she survived. She intends to live the rest of her life in stasis, forgoing everything and anything that her brother will never experience. (Yeah, it’s a little overkill but teenagers can be pretty dramatic.) But Araby’s existence is shaken up when she meets Elliott, her best friend’s older brother. Elliott wants to start a revolution and he needs Araby’s help to make it happen.

If there’s one thing I like about this book, it’s the atmosphere. It’s dreary, which suits the premise. An extremely contagious, and extremely lethal, disease is sweeping through your city. There is no cure, and only a select few have access to the one thing that has a chance of preventing infection. I’d be hopeless too.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t appreciate this as much as I’d like because I spent a good chunk of the book utterly confused as to when and where it takes place. I admit it’s the fantasy reader in me. I like the setting clearly defined and portrayed. I never could figure out if Masque took place in an alternate historical earth featuring steampunk technology or if it was a constructed, secondary fantasy world. There are aspects of the setting that can even support a post-apocalyptic setting. It’s almost as if the setting attempted to be everything for every reader, and that never ends well. Readers who aren’t as fixated on setting probably won’t mind the vagueness but those who do pay attention to that sort of thing may run into some issues.

Araby is a frustrating protagonist. The angst stemming from her survivor’s guilt makes sense for the majority of the book but when the big revelation comes towards the end, I couldn’t help but think the degree to which she self-flagellated was blown out of proportion. In many ways it makes sense for her to go through life, merely existing and trying to escape, but while that’s a realistic course of action, it often ends up being dull to read about.

When Araby gets pushed out of her comfort zone, I should have cheered. Instead I ended up boggling over some of her decisions. For example, why in the world would you steal things from your parents because a guy you just met (and who you don’t even like) told you to? There’s no logic here, and it makes Araby look a bit dim. She also goes along with many things that would normally set off warning bells. There’s being naïve and sheltered, and then there’s having no sense of self-preservation. It’d be nice to think these actions are due to Araby’s survivor’s guilt, which in turn has fed a sort of fatalistic attitude but I’m not convinced that was intentional.

There’s also a love triangle. I’m sure no one is surprised by this, given the state of the genre these days. Araby is initially taken by Will, a bouncer at the club she frequents with her best friend. Will seems like a nice guy — he’s kind to Araby, despite the obvious difference in social class; he takes care of his two younger siblings. I truly liked the portrayal of the relationship between them. But when Elliott was introduced and began to take up more page time with Araby, I knew Will’s viability as a love interest was going to plummet.

This irritated me because Elliott is a jerk. He’s not nice. He tells Araby not to trust him but he also expects her to do all these things he asks. He’s jealous and possessive for no good reason. There’s a memorable scene in which he threatens to drop her into a river filled with hungry crocodiles. None of these things scream love interest to me. They do, however, scream Get away. I will never understand the allure of the jerk love interest. Maybe I’m supposed to excuse Elliott because of his tragic family history but that’s not going to happen. Araby’s family history is just as tragic and she doesn’t treat people the way he does.

But my biggest complaint about the book has to do with its execution. While I really did like the dark, gloomy feel of it, many aspects did not ring true. Like many other people, Araby goes to the Debauchery Club to forget her sorrows. For some people, this means having meaningless sex with strangers. For others, like Araby, this means getting high. Pretty edgy material, right?

Except it doesn’t read edgy. Nothing about how the club is portrayed is believable or authentic. Araby is constantly getting high but her drug trips never actually read like drug trips. She was always passing out or falling asleep. That’s not getting high. That’s being sedated or getting roofied, neither of which I think is the intention. Looking back, I realize I had a similar complaint with your previous novel. I really dislike the inclusion of “shocking” content to be edgy without actually going all in and being edgy. If things like drugs and meaningless hook-ups are going to be portrayed in novels, then it needs to be more than just for show.

I had high hopes for Masque of the Red Death. Maybe too high. It had a lot of elements I like: gothic atmosphere, plague, and references to Edgar Allan Poe. But the execution left a lot to be desired. Combined with frustrating characters and a love triangle lacking any subtlety, I regretted being lured in by the pretty cover. D

My regards,
Jia

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Related posts:

1. REVIEW: Handcuffs by Bethany Griffin
2. REVIEW: Keturah and Lord Death by Martine Leavitt
3. REVIEW: Death, Taxes and a Skinny No-Whip Latte by Diane Kelly

Chapter 1: Death of a Legend

A full moon illuminates a cloudless black night sky. A sixty foot long wooden hulled airship floats lazily in front of the moon; its ninety foot cigar shaped helium filled gasbag holds the double decked airship secure against the aether. Below, the city of Baltimore sleeps in the late night hours. The March winds blow steadily and the airship’s propellers twirl lazily keeping the ship at its station.

‘All hands, attention’ says Captain Turner. The portly thirty year old man strokes his thin close cropped beard before thrusting out his chest and both chins.

The airmen stand around in their sky blue uniforms staring expectantly at the Captain and the taller, muscular man beside him. A cool wind blows across the smooth wooden deck.

‘I know we have not been together long, but, I have been given an important task tonight and I am sure you men will acquit yourself admirably. I should hate to have anyone figure poorly in my report’ he says in a thin voice.

‘Ah, beggin’ the Captain’s pardon, but, what are we doing floating above an empty rail station?’
‘I’m glad you asked, Midshipman. There is a train due to arrive shortly carrying an important cargo. The USS Cerberus has been ordered to provide escort and see the train safely from Baltimore to Washington, DC.’

‘A train at this hour? Should we run out the guns or be on the lookout for English airships; seems too far inland for those boys’

‘Ah, good questions. Commander Whyte will handle the details of the mission and your preparations. I will be leaving him in charge, but, I have every confidence in all of you’ says Captain Turner before walking across the deck and entering the upper deck and his elegantly furnished Captain’s Cabin.

The muscular man straightens the white cuffs of his dark blue uniform jacket and picks imaginary lint from the gold braid of his sleeves before turning to the airmen.

‘Now, let’s stop polishing the brass and get to your stations. Midshipman Hampton, have your crews man the port and starboard gatling guns. Jefferson, I need you in the Crow’s Nest, shout out when you see the train arrive. I am not sure what manner of threat the USS Cerberus is suppose to guard against, but, I want all of us prepared for any threat. Hopefully, this will prove to be quiet night’s sailing and we’ll be able back at the airfield by morning’ says the Commander.

‘Commander Whyte, sir. Any chance we will be back at the airfield in time to attend the ten year celebration?’

‘Let’s hope so, Midshipman. I do believe my daughter’s beau has finally worked up the nerve to ask for her hand in marriage. It will do my heart good to know she will be well provided for’

‘Ah, Midshipman Jones, sir? He is a good match for Miss Pearl, if I may be so bold. I only mean that he is a fine young officer with a good future in the Aeronautical Corps ahead of him, sir’ says Midshipman Hampton. The young man looks down at the holy stone polished deck and absently rubs the back of his neck beneath his black hair.

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To avoid a repeat of that tl:dr trauma, and because I am a Geek and a Nerd and a Dork with NO LIFE, I decided take the opportunity to use a social media site I’ve been dying to try. Because this is ALL. ABOUT. ME.

Read With Me Vicariously: Live-Tweeting & Storifying Badass by Sable Hunter

Prologue and Chapter 1
In which a Texas preacher’s daughter runs away to Shady Lady Ranch in Nevada for Self-Imposed Slutification under the tutelage of mentors Destiny, Desiree, Roxy and Claret.

Chapter 2
In which newly-slutified Avery Rose Sinclair and her pink Miss Kitty sleeping bag and her pink Miss Kitty suitcase full of sex toys arrive back in Kerrville on a Harley Sportster. Bar fight, blow job in hotel room, ecstasy, hero leaves.

Chapter 3
In which our heroine displays her Shady Lady Stripper Skillz, news of Slutification hits local headlines, deflowering occurs and our hero shows his true colors as a Manwhore McCoy.

Chapter 4
In which our heroine outs herself as an erotica writer named SABLE HUNTER and then gets a microphone stuck in her mouth.

Chapter 5
In which we enjoy granny panties, Braveheart, bacon and glitter.

Chapter 6
In which we meet villain-bait stock characters, enter our hero’s Secret Basement Playroom, push up through the Valley of Delight, rejoice in our heroine’s expanded vocabulary, and get called up to the Big Leagues of Sex. Also, plot moppet puts Sub collar on family dog.

Chapters 7 & 8
In which I attempt to distract myself from Tuesday’s clusterf–k in North Carolina with a hermaphrodite, sex on a mechanical bull, ooey-gooey pumpkin butter cake, some unexpected and inexplicably good writing (!) which segues into bizarre POV switching with the family dog, then yet another Tebow kidnapping but this time foiled by family dog, and, finally, swelling organs during HEA.

I just saved you about 15 pages of narrative plot recap. You’re welcome.

First impressions….

I didn’t hate it. I even LIKED parts of it. I’m in Book Review Purgatory, actually considering a C- grade. But what if my enthusiasm is merely disguised relief that it wasn’t a FLAMING CESSPOOL OF CRAP like the last book? I need to think about this. My worldview has been disrupted. My personal paradigm has shifted. I might need a sabbatical in Kerrville, Texas, to reconnect with my Inner Bitch Goddess.

If my doctor does recommend Cowboy Immersion Therapy, my first shrine of worship will be Hardbodies Bar. If they don’t have Isaac’s black leather Dom hood with the Tebow Rockin’ T ranch brand embossed on the forehead on display, I’m going to be REALLY disappointed.

Also, I’m 99 percent sure that me and the mechanical bull should stay far, far apart. But what’s a mental health sabbatical without a visit to the emergency room?

Let’s make it a road trip. You know you want to come with me. No, wait, a bus trip. That way we can drink heavily and let someone else do the driving.

Second thoughts….

It’s going to have to be a D+. *sigh*

I wanted to give Isaac a C, I really did. He is by far the most evolved male in the family. We have the usual “baby” talk, but for the most part he treats Avery as an equal in the relationship, even conceding her power as a submissive over him in their sexual encounters. He thinks she looks sexy in her flannel granny nightgown. He teases her, but he respects her. I know, right???

Also, he feeds the dog under the dinner table, and I’m a complete sucker for that sort of thing.

Our heroine Avery Rose continues the painful Hell Yeah! tradition of naïve, childlike virgins. But in this case, her backstory actually makes sense – she’s a “church mouse” who’s been overprotected and repressed by her ultra-conservative parents. She might be a bit of a dumbass in stressful situations (see below) but she’s not a doormat:

“Do I need to remind you that just a couple of days ago; you couldn’t wait to see the last of me? Do you think I’m stupid? It doesn’t take a genius to know the only reason you want to marry me is because you feel guilty.”

For the first time in the Hell Yeah! series, I felt a real connection between the hero and heroine. Their struggles were much less manufactured than in the previous books – they’ve lusted after each other for years, and they both think they’re not good enough for the other. They’re both willing to adapt to make the relationship work, and not just in the bedroom.

The Bad Sex is considerably toned down in this volume, as is the rampant infantilization I found so appalling in the previous books. Oh, there’s misogyny all right, but only a small part of it comes from the hero or his brothers (see “Humiliations Galore” below).

But before we address that issue – again – let’s take a look at an excerpt from the beginning of Chapter 8:

The scene: Bro # 2 Jacob (he who rescues naked pregnant virgins) confronting Bro #5 Noah (the Uptight Self-Righteous Accountant) about Noah’s knee-jerk condemnation of our hero Isaac:

Jacob: “Your brother is a damn good man. He may walk to the beat of a different drummer – but so do you. And I hate to tell you this, but I much prefer his cadence to yours….”

Noah: “Jacob, I…”

Jacob: “No, let me finish. I don’t often speak my peace – and this has got to be said. I love you and I have forgiven you, but I can’t completely forget that your reluctance to accept Jessie almost cost her life – and me my world. You push too hard, Noah. You’re too unyielding. You think you have all the answers and like black and white are the only two colors in the rainbow. Even you have to admit – you were wrong about Jessie, as wrong as wrong can be. And you’re wrong about Isaac and Avery. After Jessie was kidnapped, it was Isaac who stuck with me through thick and thin. He never left my side. I don’t discount what you did – you fixed up the nursery for her and you were the first on the scene and were wounded so that she could be saved. But – and this is a big but – it wouldn’t have happened at all, not like it did, if you hadn’t interfered and said things that made her believe I didn’t love her. Now, you’ve pushed Isaac away and he, in turn, has pushed Avery aside. What if they’re supposed to be together and what if your unyielding spirit and narrow-minded bullshit tears Isaac from our lives and destroys their happiness? How would you feel then?”

Where the HELL YEAH! did that come from? Except for the peace/piece thing and some odd punctuation, that right there is pretty damn decent writing. Stuff like that pops up out of nowhere in all four books – it’s like there are two different people writing them. Or maybe one person with multiple personalities.

Or maybe the author is teasing me on purpose just to fuck with my head.

Which brings me back to the downgrade to D+. Despite the much-improved characters and plot, and a few other flashes of good writing, the frequent applications of excruciating drivel completely ruin the credibility and likeability.

Ultimately, this book gets sucked back down into the author’s inevitable death spiral of insulting misogyny wrapped in cutesy twaddle. For example….

Self-Imposed Slutification: A Girl’s Guide to Gittin’ Girly

Step 1: Determine your goal.

The way she saw it – she had a choice. She could either give up on Isaac McCoy, forever, or she could attempt to transform herself into a woman he could be attracted to.

In other words, she’s Sandy from Grease!.

Step 2: Apply for admission.

“Operator. May I assist you?”

She took a deep breath and plunged in. “Yes ma’am, I’m looking for a number in Nevada for the Shady Lady Ranch.”

There was a pause and then the grandmotherly sounding operator had to put her two cents in. “Honey, you have a sweet little voice. I can tell you’re a nice girl. Do you realize you are enquiring about the number for a house of ill repute?”

Avery cleared her throat, stuck her chest out and stood up for herself. “Yes, ma’am, I am. I need that number, if you don’t mind. I’m tired of being the good girl. I want to learn how to bad.”

I learned that the Shady Lady Ranch [NSFW, obviously] is a real place. But the telephone operator? We had a teaser of that scene in Book 2, and I was sure it had to be a joke. It wasn’t.

Step 3: Complete an internship.

“That’s right. Now, suck the head like you’re eating a big ole juicy plum.” Three of Nevada’s finest ladies of the evening leaned over Avery as she yummed down on a pink plastic Jackrabbit.

…She stood up and wrapped the dildo in a paper towel, so she could remember to clean it properly when she got back to her room. It had been a new one, of course. They had allowed her to take it out of the plastic sealed container. The ladies had all been very nice to her, and she wasn’t a germaphobe, but she was cautious. Despite knowing the sheets were carefully laundered, Avery slept in the childhood sleeping bag she had brought from home. That sleeping bag had seen some action, lately. Even now, just thinking about Isaac made her nipples puff up and beg for attention. Last night, Avery had touched herself. After her bath, she had lain on her pink kitty sleeping bag and rubbed her breasts. It had felt so good. She hadn’t made herself come, but she had given kitty something to think about. Avery was determined that Isaac would give her that all-important first orgasm. Perhaps she was being sentimental, but it seemed necessary to her that she save all of those momentous experiences to share with him.

Her PINK KITTY SLEEPING BAG. In the WHOREHOUSE. Giving Kitty SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.

Who is the intended audience for this book? How is that romantic? I don’t understand. I honestly cannot comprehend how other readers can find this type of characterization endearing.

It’s like we’re in a weird existential erotica version of The Emperor’s New Clothes and NO ONE has the balls to tell the author that stuff like this isn’t just over the top – it’s FUCKED. UP.

Step 4: Graduate with honors.

“I’ve stocked this with a bunch of goodies and a list of reminders of the new weapons you have in your repertoire. Remember, you now can do a mean lap dance, you know how to work a stripper pole, you are proficient in oral sex and seductive moves, and you know more sexual positions than the writers of the Kama Sutra.”

The sex toys and portable stripper pole are stored in the heroine’s little pink MY KITTY SUITCASE.

At that point, I threw up in my mouth. And then I decided I need some of whatever the author and her five-star fangirls are smoking.

But then I changed my mind again because that might weaken my defenses and I’d become ONE OF THEM. They would ASSIMILATE ME LIKE THE BORG.

Plus, recreational drugs probably wouldn’t be a good addition to all the Xanax and alcohol it takes to survive these books.

Step 5: Share your knowledge.

In the quiet hours of the night, she had penned her first erotic story and sent it off to her publisher before she could change her mind. It had been called, “Cowboy Heat” – and of course, Isaac had been the hero. All of the girls had downloaded the free eBook reader app and had bought her stories. A few had even asked for her autograph. She had to admit she sort of enjoyed the attention. It had been difficult never sharing that part of her life with anyone. One night they sat up until the wee hours of the morning talking and laughing. She told them the plots of several more novels she had in the works and showed them how to find her website and her blog.

A few key takeaways from this lesson:

1. Our heroine makes the hookers pay for her books. She doesn’t give anything away for free.
2. The title of our heroine’s first naughty romance book is Cowboy Heat. Sound familiar? [More on this below.]
3. Our heroine publishes ebooks. She has a website. She has a blog. And yet she had to call directory assistance to get a phone number for a brothel? Is there a Google blackout in the Texas Hill Country?

Step 6: Conveniently forget knowledge when confronted with a REAL LIVE PENIS.

“Did you know there’s a wet spot at the front of your thong?” he asked gruffly.

What? That wasn’t the reaction she was expecting. Every bit of the bravado left her body. Cripes! “Sorry,” she crossed her arms over her breasts – now she was embarrassed. “I don’t understand…”

Avery might have missed the class on feminine moistness, but at least we don’t have to sit through the lecture and PowerPoint presentation.

Kinky Stuff: BDSM Info-Dumping Sponsored by Wikipedia

In the Texas BDSM world, he was known as Badass – and it was a title he had earned. Isaac was a badass. He liked his sex rough and hot, but most importantly he had to be in control.

If you’ve read my previous reviews, what’s coming next won’t be a surprise.

“I’m no DOM, ya flea-bitten varmint! I’m Riff-Raff Sam, the riffiest riff that ever riffed a raff!” – Yosemite Sam, Sahara Hare (1955)

“I ain’t no DOM. I’m a pirate – Seagoing Sam, the blood-thirstiest, shoot ‘em first-iest, doggone worst-iest buccaneer that’s ever sailed the Spanish main!” – Yosemite Sam, Buccaneer Bunny (1948)

“Any one of you lily livered, bow legged varmints care to SLAP LEATHER with me? In case any of ya get any idears, ya better know yer dealin’ with. I’m the hootinest, tootinest, shootinest, bob tailed wildcat in the west.” – Yosemite Sam, Looney, Looney, Looney Bugs Bunny Movie (1981)

God, I love the internet. Yes, I took a few liberties with the original scripts. It’s called creative license. Where were we?

In this book, “rough and hot” sex means spanking and mild bondage. And giggling. Lots of giggling.

I guess inaugurating the brand-new mechanical bull could be kinky, but mostly it’s more of a “how exactly does that work?” kind of thing. And then of course I obsess about why they’re not cleaning it with hospital-grade antiseptic. Gross.

Anyway: Not sure what BDSM is all about? Here’s a helpful getting-started guided:

“What I’m telling you is that your penchant for being in control, especially with a partner who craves to submit – is no shame at all. No more so than those who prefer to drive a foreign car over a domestic.” He knew she preferred foreign cars, herself. [Kindle location 992]

Huh? What? That was a conversation between our hero Isaac and Nana Bogart, Voodoo Queen of New Orleans, whom we met briefly in the previous book. Nana drives a Lexus.

Why…? Never mind. It doesn’t matter, because it’s filler.

Remembering what she had read in the very basic article on BDSM, Avery sank down in a classic slave position – on her knees, hands behind her back and head bowed. [Kindle location 2167]

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Writing Erotic Romance, Chapter 20 (Page 217): Getting Wild and Kinky.

Isaac didn’t know what to say. But, he had to say something. “Don’t judge her too harshly. Food is good, but gluttony is bad. Beer is good, but an alcoholic’s life is miserable. The relationship between two people that enjoy a power exchange may be more beautiful than you realize, but even that can have its dark side. Any form of addiction or extreme overuse can be dangerous. Harper may not be able to control her craving for domination, that doesn’t mean she’s beyond help. [Kindle location 2662]

Bro #5 Noah’s ex-girlfriend Harper is the conveniently convenient S&M pain junkie in question. Because we need to read about a stock character being nearly beaten to death to understand The Dark Side of Kinky Sex.

He had never been one to collar a woman, but he knew what it meant. It was a visible, recognizable sign of possession, ownership and commitment. Among his kind, it was as meaningful and binding as an engagement ring – more so. [Kindle location 2979]

AMONG HIS OWN KIND??? The little I know about this lifestyle I learned from Sarah F and Cherise Sinclair, but I’m guessing that’s probably not an appropriate way to refer to the BDSM community.

The scene: Master Isaac and his Dom-in-training Levi, are discussing a new acquaintance. [Kindle location 3041]

Isaac: “So what did you hear about the lovely Miss Baker? I saw quite a few cowboys checking her out. If you’re gonna throw your hat in the ring, you’d best do it in a hurry. Is she into kink?”

Levi: “Hell, she gives kink a whole new meaning.”

Isaac: “Well, don’t leave me hangin’.”

Levi: “That’s the whole problem – she’s hangin’.”

Isaac: “What are you talking about?”

Levi: “She’s pretty, you know – I mean real pretty. And I was attracted to her, big time.”

Isaac: “So, what’s the problem?”

Levi: “Man, I mentioned to Terence Lee that I intended to ask her out and he laughed at me…. He said that it’s rumored Pawnee has a . . . damn, a cock – a little one, but a cock, nonetheless. Supposedly everything else is there and all of it functions perfectly. It knocked me for a loop, I tell you.”

Isaac: “That beautiful woman is a hermaphrodite? I thought they were, you know, rougher looking. She seems so – normal – beautiful, I mean.”

…Isaac had seen a lot of things. He knew transsexuals, bisexuals, homosexuals, even some who claimed to be asexual, but never had he met someone with both male and female genitalia.

Isaac: “God, I bet she’s lonely.”

Yes, it’s actually handled quite sensitively. But why do we need a hermaphrodite in this story? We don’t. What does this have to do with the plot, the main characters or BDSM? Nothing. Do you feel insulted that the author felt it necessary to use this for a throwaway bit of unresolved melodrama? I do.

A Cry for Help: Inserting Yourself Into your own Romance Novel

Feeling insecure? Need to justify your own existence?

Or maybe you’re slightly on the narcissistic side and love to see your own (fake) name in print as often as possible?

For either case, try a little subtle self-reference in your next writing project:

Writing romance novels was fun as well as fulfilling. A tiny smile played over her lips. During the past year, she had become a pro at promoting her books. With meticulous care, she had researched the markets and what types of books were selling and which ones weren’t as popular. It amused her that the hottest, fastest growing market was erotic romances. [Kindle location 1113]

“I just hope it doesn’t get out that I write racy romance novels…. I write love stories, most of them are mild – but the last one was a bit risqué. But don’t worry, only the girls know my pen name – Sable Hunter.” [Kindle location 1721]

No time like the present – after all, they were sharing everything else. “I write romance novels. Most of them have been just contemporary, but I’ve started writing erotic novellas, and they’re selling like hotcakes. I’m a smut writer!” she announced proudly. [Kindle location 3012]

Turning, Avery opened a drawer on her nightstand and handed her friend a book. “There you go. I hope you enjoy it. Remember, it’s sort of risqué – not as spicy as my current WIP’s, but pretty racy, all the same.” “Sable Hunter, I like that name. Neat.” [Kindle location 3099]

Need another example of literary self-referentiality for comparison? Try this more ironic representation.

Sworn to Secrecy: Protecting Your Super-Dom Identity from Evil-Doers

Keeping his involvement in the BDSM world from his brothers hadn’t been easy. [Kindle location 2665]

“I have been known to wear a hood and a cape and gloves – it makes it rather medieval. Except, if you look closely – there is the McCoy brand in the middle of the forehead.” [Kindle location 2734]

NOW do you know why I want to go to Kerrville so badly?

“Do you have the hood? We need McCoy’s hood if this is going to work.”

“Yes, I have it.” He pulled it from the inside pocket of his jacket. “The last time I cleaned Isaac’s playroom, I took it. It wasn’t hard; he keeps it out in plain sight.”

“I knew he would. It was custom made. If you’ll look, their brand is in the forehead like the mark of the beast – damn rocking T. I had seen him wear it too many times – I knew he would still have it.” [Kindle location 3558]

Avery stopped in her tracks. “Isaac!” There was no one else he could be. He wore his costume. The one that he had shown her and told her it was reserved for special occasions. The cape and hood made him look dangerous and mysterious and when he lifted his gloved hand and beckoned her to him, she almost broke into a run. He was back! And he wanted to see her! [Kindle location 3650]

Logic, cleanup in Book 4. Stand by for further fuckups.

Me Likeum Squaw: Stereotyping for Fun & Profit

Last week someone rightfully called me out for a lazy and offensive analogy about developing countries. Consider me smacked.

For my plea bargaining, I will utilize the “Yes, I’m a dumb shit, but HEY LOOK OVER HERE >>>” line of defense:

“Skye is something else, Isaac. Hell, she’s just about fuckin’ perfect. I don’t know if it’s that Indian blood or what – but she makes my heart beat like a war drum.”

“So, paleface, is it okay if I tease your little Indian princess?”

If I was Skye the Indian Princess, I’d beat Noah the Uptight Self-Righteous Accountant with something a LOT harder than a war drum.

Shit My Dog Says: Baffling Your Readers with Bizarre POV Switching

Kindle location 3613-3643:

Lady was hungry. Not just for meat – that was good, but there was always meat to be had.

So the women get called “baby” and “doll-face” and “kitten,” but the DOG gets called LADY? Yeesh.

…The people were hopping around and holding on to one another – sometimes they seemed so silly. Oh, yeah. She could smell it – dessert.

…Time for a whine. Licking the lips couldn’t hurt.

“Are you hungry? Do you want some candy? I’ll share. It’s not chocolate, so it won’t hurt you.” She set down the treat and Lady grabbed it.

“She” being our heroine Avery. In case you were confused.

Wow! That was one of the best things she had ever had in her mouth. I want another one!

This time – the very next sentence – “she” is Lady the family dog. Then we get a double switch from third- to first-person voice.

“You have a sweet tooth, don’t you? Here’s one more, but that’s all. I don’t want to make you sick.” Avery gave her another tasty morsel.

…Lady opted to put a paw on her knee. Affection never hurt. “You’re a sweetie. Aren’t you?”

That was Avery asking the question, not the dog.

Yes, I’m a sweetie. And I want more candy. Maybe, if I set up and look cute.

…“Lady, do you want to walk with me?”

Yeah, why not. I like you, Avery. You’re nice. Lady followed Avery through the crowd hoping she’d drop one of those candies. That’d be nice.

First back to third back to first. Completing the full circle of literary hell.

…Where are you going? Lady kept up. Don’t go over there. We don’t know that man. And he doesn’t smell right. He has family smells on him, but he’s not family. Stop! “Woof! Woof!”

Who exactly is the audience for this book? I don’t understand. I’m confused. Again.

Ruining the Moment: From Dumbass to Kickass and Back in 0.3 Paragraphs

“You son-of-a-bitch!” Avery lashed out, hitting him in the face with her bound hands.

Ooooh, finally a Hell Yeah! heroine gets to kick some ass!

…She had never feared death, but she had assumed she would live to get married, have children – possibly pass away at an advanced age with some heart ailment or least get the chance to choke on strawberries.

Please don’t ask. I have NO clue.

“You are Ajax – the man who hurt Noah and Harper. Mostly, you’re a coward.”

Hostage negotiation protocol courtesy of CSI: Kerrville.

…”I may just fuck you before I carve you up. How would you like that?”

“No!” Being beat was one thing, being raped was entirely different. “I would hate it! Just the idea of your filthy body touching mine makes me want to throw up!

Yeah, that’ll stop him. He wouldn’t want you to hate him.

“Bitch – I’ll make you sorry you were ever born.”

“I can’t stop you from hurting me, but you can’t steal my memories. Isaac was wonderful to me, I love him and you can never make be sorry I was born. Loving him was worth it all.”

…Tears sprang to her eyes, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of crying out. Instead, she made him regret he hadn’t chained her feet first, because she brought her knee up hard and tried to jam his balls up into his throat.

Oh, HELL YEAH!

“Isaac is a good man – you’re a sniveling eunuch. I’ll bet you can’t even get it up, can you? Is that why you do this? Is hurting women the only way you can get off?”

Never mind. *headdesk*

Another blow. But what he said stung worse. “You may love him, but does he love you? I know what kind of woman Isaac McCoy craves – a real submissive – and that’s not you. You’re not worthy to be McCoy’s woman.”

And suddenly our vicious bad guy turns into Dr. Phil and examines his victim’s feelings. W. T. F.

All the tenseness – all the fight left Avery’s body. “You’re right.” She submitted to the bonds that fettered her, and bowed her head.

My head is bowed too. Over the toilet.

Humiliations Galore: Demonstrating Your Utter Contempt for Women

Example 1: Women belong in the kitchen.

The set-up: Part of the ongoing engagement party festivities for Joseph and Cady (MCs of the previous book) include daily hunting trips. It’s like a Regency country house party but in Texas. Apparently women are actually allowed to handle weapons because Syke the Indian Princess bagged a big one.

“Skye, you sure did get a good deer yesterday. That buck dressed out at a hundred and a quarter. I saved the antlers for you – and I saved something else, if you want them.” He held his hand out – palm up – with those two round buckeyes lying in the center.

…she rolled them between thumb and forefingers. “These are very nice, but they don’t belong to my deer. These balls are a little small for my deer. Have you felt between your legs to see if you’re missing anything?”

See what I mean about the good writing popping up out of nowhere? She’s really really good with the funny stuff.

But then – *~*sigh*~* – we immediately fall backwards into the quagmire of drivel:

Jessie jumped up and took Skye by the hand and they began planning dessert for the evening.

Oh NOES. A GIRL is making jokes about TESTICLES! Quick, put an apron on her!

Example 2: Condoms are needed only when having sex with slutty women.

He took a condom from his nightstand drawer and sheathed himself.

“I’m on birth control,” she whispered.

Isaac didn’t say anything. There was no use hurting her feelings, but pregnancy hadn’t been his first thought – it was how many men she had given pleasure.

You know that classic Seinfeld episode called The Subway where Elaine is on the way to a lesbian wedding and her subway stalls in a tunnel and she’s counting “one banana two banana” trying not to freak out and then the lights go out out and she screams “MOTHER-BLEEEEEEP” internally? The exact pitch and intonation of that “MOTHER-BLEEEEEP” was my precise reaction to reading that.

If I didn’t love Frances (my Kindle) so much, she would have HIT THE MOTHER-BLEEEEEPING WALL. Fortunately, that bit appeared at the top of the page, and the next bit was visible at a glance:

“Damn.” She was a virgin! How in the fuck was that possible?”

He knows she’s a virgin because she displays all the symptoms of Hymen Mislocation Syndrome.

Example 3: Women still belong in the kitchen.

A brief set-up for this one: Our heroine Avery used some of her book profits to go into partnership with her BFF Tricia in a floral design business.

“You’re going to make bouquets with Tricia Yaeger? That’s what you want to do with your life? You’d rather do that than be with me?”

But before you judge our poor hero too harshly, you should know that Isaac said that only because…

“ – deep down – he questioned his value as a man.”

I believe the lesson here is that a heroine’s purpose in life is to stay at home and prop up the vulnerable ego of her man.

Example 4: The Microphone Mishap.

Kindle location 1881:

At this very moment, she was so mad at him she could spit. But – unfortunately – her mouth was otherwise occupied.
Her tall, broad-shouldered bad-boy was laughing at her. “How did you get your lips stretched around that big old thang, darlin?” He looked at her with a twinkle in his sapphire blue eyes.

There was no way she could talk with the broad, round head in her mouth – so she glared at Isaac for all she was worth.

My Kindle note: “WTF is going on here???”

Good gravy, he was trying to help her. Avery felt her face flame. “Can you open your mouth any wider, baby? I can’t seem to pull it out.” A loud guffaw from behind him made Avery clamp her teeth down on the smooth surface instead of trying to let go. It was obvious that Isaac’s double entendres were not going unnoticed. “Now, don’t you bite down on my Peavey, sugar.” Titters of amusement floated across the stage and Avery growled, making Isaac laugh all the harder. “What kind of engagement party can we have if you swallow the microphone, dumpling-doll?”

At this point Avery takes the name of Elvis Presley in vain, which gets her another BIG RED X on my Badass scorecard.

And the humiliation wasn’t over – oh, no. It just kept getting better. “You know, there are better things you could have between these lips. All you had to do was ask.” A knowing look from him told her that he knew he was pissing her off, royally. Arrgghh! With a gasp of indignation, her jaws opened just wide enough for Isaac to pull the microphone free. “That’s my girl,” he praised her.

And WHY did she attempt to swallow the microphone in the first place? Because she’s a Closet Smutographer, that’s why.

Avery couldn’t think of a believable lie, so she stuck with the unbelievable truth. “Before I came over, Tricia had teased me about how big my mouth was. She said I couldn’t keep my mouth shut to save my life.” What she wouldn’t tell him was the secret Tricia warned her to keep – about her erotic romance writing.

Is it just me, or did that explanation make absolutely NO sense whatsoever? Is it just me, or does it seem like the author grasped for any possible excuse to write about using a microphone as a sex toy?

After compiling all of that, I’m downgrading again. D with no +.

Example 5: The Glitter Incident.

“If you tell that story in mixed company, Aron, you will wake up tomorrow with your manhood all dressed up and nowhere to go. Do you understand me?”

The scene: Avery is being inducted into the McCoy Joy Club by her future sisters-in-law. No, really, the club was mentioned in the previous book, but I completely forgot to beat it to death with my mocking stick.

ANYWAY, to welcome Avery to the family, Libby [heroine of Book 1, fiancee of aforementioned Aron] shares her latest most giggly blushing moment. I have to use a complete and un-ellipsed excerpt [Kindle location 2493-2513] to make sure I do this justice:

“I’m waiting to hear the story of what you did, Libby.” Jessie [Book 2] had sat patiently while the niceties had been taken care of.

“Me, too,” Avery admitted shyly. She sat out cups and arranged tea bags and sugar and cream for everyone to help themselves.

As the kettle hissed – Libby entertained them. “I made a fool out of myself, that’s what. Cady – this party is going to be great, but I’ve gone overboard, I guess. You know I was making those individual place cards with everybody’s name done in glitter.”

“I told you that you were going to too much trouble,” Cady [Book 3] was emphatic. “I am the happiest woman in the world to be marrying Joseph – I didn’t need any fancy decorations.”

Jessie shooed Cady, “We know – we know – Joseph is a sex god. They all are. Let her finish the story.” Granny Fontenot whooped at the sex part. She might be old, but she wasn’t dead.

“Anyway…” Libby continued. “I had been working down in the craft room and I had scattered glitter everywhere. As I was trying to clean up, the phone rang. I had been wiping down the counters and when I ran to our bedroom to get this checklist for the caterer, I had that washrag in my hand. I laid it down on the vanity counter next to the sink. When Aron got it in his head that I had to keep the doctor’s appointment, I did a quick wash up just to make sure I was clean . . .” her face fell, and she looked sheepish. “I used the wrong rag.”

“Oh no,” Jessie yelped. “I can see where this is going.”

Yes, so can we, god help us all.

“Yes,” Libby leaned over and held her head in her hands. “When the doctor got me all spread out like a filleted pork chop, he cracked up and said – ‘Well, hello there. This is the first time anyone’s ever decorated it for me.’ I had glitter everywhere.”

Stay seated…. We’re not done yet….

“You were Vajazzeled!” Avery laughed. “When I was out at the Vegas cathouse, I heard all about it.” Now all eyes had turned on Avery.

“What were you doing in a cathouse, pray tell?” Jessie was having the time of her life. She loved being in this family. There was never a dull moment. The giggles and the titters grew to mammoth proportions as Avery explained what she had been up to and Libby continued describing the doctor’s red face and Aron’s shock that she had presented her lady parts in full glitter glory.

Angrish: A character [or READER] is so angry, PISSED OFF, or shocked that he or SHE is LITERALLY UNABLE to form a coherent sentence. Other strong emotions are sufficient to render a person [READER] unable to speak proper English (or whatever language is being spoken at the time), but shock, ANGER, and PURE RAGE are the most common. It usually takes a little while for him or HER to recover, at which point he or SHE explodes into rage normally. The technical name for this rhetorical device is “aposiopesis”.

Source: TVTropes.org

I don’t care how many people I piss off with this statement, but if you think that scene is a humorous depiction of female solidarity, YOU ARE WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG. You and ^THAT BULLSHIT^ and the author are so F’ING WRONG that I am already having another SPASM of APOSIOPESIS.

It’s demeaning. It’s belitting. It’s patronizing. It’s condescending. It’s bullshit.

Now, let me be clear that I’m not condemning the Vajazzeling. If you’re into that sort of thing, go for it. Take pictures and post them on ratemyvajazzle.com. And then send us the link so we can vote. [Seriously – I am *wildly* curious about this, because all I can think is “OMG, itchy. Getting itchier. I need to scratch. RIGHT NOW.”]

I can respect a glittery hoohah only if it’s a choice.

If, however, you’re an author who inflicts unsolicited Vajazzling for the sole purpose of demeaning even further an already marginalized female character, you will receive a Flailing of Angrish that will rival the infamous Tapestry of Obscenity produced by Old Man Parker that has been hanging in space over Lake Michigan since 1949.

I’m so full of APOSIOPESIS I have no idea of that sentence I just wrote is grammatically correct. That’s how Angrish I am.

I’m adding the Accidental Vajazzling AND the Microphone Mishap to the Falling Head-First into the Bubble Bath episode from the previous book as proof that a female author can indeed be revoltingly misogynistic.

And now I’m DOWNGRADING AGAIN to a D-. The only thing saving this book from an Big Fat EFF (F) is the fact that it wasn’t nearly as painful as the last one.

Now let me tell you what I REALLY think….

I think I’m going to change my mind yet again and track down one of those fan-girl squee bongs before Hell Yeah! Book 5: Skye Blue is released.

For now, I’ll just take my ANGRISH and APOSIOPESIS (my new favorite words) back to my Mean Girl Cave of Righteous Indignation and let the author herself enlighten you on the State of Modern Erotica. If you like FULL GLITTER GLORY, you’ll find lots of it on Sable Hunter’s website.

The following is an excerpt from her blog post in early January. Punctuation, spelling and grammatical errors and ALL CAPS are hers; bold and [ANGRISH] are mine.

I cant seem to write a story where the heroine is a woman with experience. So far, it just hasnt worked for me. I cant really explain it…but I thought I would delve into the possibilities, just to see if I could work it out. Im not sure about my motivation…after all, Im not a virgin and I havent been for a long time. Maybe, I wish I were. Thats a strange thought.

I tend to write my romance novels with the hero in mind. For some reason, Im more sympathetic to his viewpoint and I love to tell whats on his mind and how he is feeling. That may be because Ive never met a hero (in the flesh, anyway) and every time I write a story, I create the man of my dreams. Holding out for a hero is more than a song…its a life…long yearning for some women. So, I tend to write my romance novels, delving into the heros psyche. But what kind of hero have I created? I formulate the men in my stories to be honest, strong, possessive, faithful…all qualities of a good dog…plus gorgeous and sexy as hell. They have never breathed a word that they expect their chosen woman to be an innocent. But I tend to reward their good behavior and sterling qualities with a pure woman.

I got amused as I planned this article. It made me think some wild thoughts about why a man would want a virgin…get this…ala William Shatner…TO GO WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE.

Or every man loves to explore VIRGIN TERRITORY. Or the value of a woman increases if she is AS PURE AS THE DRIVEN SNOW. After all, said hero would get to initiate her, wow her, train her in his likes and dislikes and know that no man had ever enjoyed what he had claimed as his own. I actually used the term in a novel I just released he POSSESSED WHAT HE HAD ALREADY CONQUERED.

Something is terribly wrong with me.

Now, Im kidding here…for the most part. I guess the truth is…I love to write about virgins. And sometimes I go to great lengths to make my heroines virgins. Although every scenario is possible…some of them I had to work to get them to sound plausible…

I write about virgins…I am compelled to write about virgins. And not only are they virgins…but by the end of the books most of them end up pregnant. So…the hero gets to conquer, and stake his claim in the most enduring way possible…by fathering a child.

I think this stems back to the time when I read sweet romances. While I was growing up I inhaled romance novels. Sometimes I read two a day. My school backpack was always full of Harlequins and Loveswepts…I had one teacher that condemned by reading choice…so for her I would read thick, brainy novels and discuss them in depth with her…but at night, under the covers…with a flashlight, I would visit worlds where love conquered all, right prevails over wrong, and holding out for a hero is not an impossible dream. I guess Im an incurable romantic.

My readers like my virgins…and they like the fact that they usually end up pregnant. I know this because theyve told me so. My books usually can make you laugh, cry, and sweat.

I try to weave humor in with poignancy and spice it up with sex hot enough to make you sleep in a bathtub full of ice. I know the sex is hot…it turns me on…if it didnt, I would be doing something wrong.

Bottom line, I write what I like to read. There is something about an innocent woman placing her faith and trust in a macho, alpha male who teachers her that she is his perfect woman…that just turns my heart inside out.

Final (and this time I mean absolutely finally final) grade: D-.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A shamelessly self-serving footnote that wasn’t actually cited anywhere in the above text and therefore really isn’t a footnote, it’s more like a P.S. and I told DA Jane she could edit it out so if you see this and think it’s obnoxious blame her not me:

Our blog mistress Jane apparently doesn’t understand sarcasm when she sees it on Twitter, so now a lovely little m/m “romance” called Red Knight Rising is plugging up my TBR queue. The author’s name is Alex Ironrod. Ironrod. Alex IRONROD. I’m pretty sure the publisher is deliberately fucking with me. Go ahead and read the excerpt – I triple dog dare you. Except if you’re at work, because it’s so very very Not Safe For Work. But even if you only look at the description page, don’t stare at the cover too long; it would be like the eyeball equivalent of getting your tongue frozen to a metal flagpole.

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Unraveling by Elizabeth Norris.
I enjoyed this one a lot. I’m hoping books like this one means we’re moving away from the YA dystopian trend and more towards YA thrillers. The heroine reminded me of Veronica Mars in many respects. Actually, the book itself is something like a cross between Veronica Mars, 24, and X-Files. It is a big book, I suppose, but it reads extremely fast. Loved that the insta-love romance plot here made sense to me. Review here.

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Shadows of the Moon by Zoe Marriott.
Kind of like a Cinderella story set in a fantasy world loosely based on (what I think is) Heian era Japan. The heroine, Suzume, survived the slaughter of her family, and I thought it was a pretty realistic depiction of that sort of trauma. Her mother also survived (she was away when the attack came) and eventually remarries, taking Suzume with her. But then Suzume discovers that her new stepfather is the one responsible for the murder of her family and soon embarks on a quest for revenge. I liked how the book interwove all the different guises and lives Suzume adopts for herself, and blended the original Cinderella story with the culture and Suzume’s revenge tale. Review to come.

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What about you guys? Read any of these? What did you think? What are you reading now? I’m currently reading Spirit’s Princess by Esther Friesner, which portrays the story of the Japanese shaman-queen, Himiko.

Related posts:

1. What Sunita was reading in March and April
2. Reading/Watching/Baking List by Jayne for March and early April
3. Dear Author Recommends for March

I’ve always been fond of your voice but often found the narrative running away. In Sheltered, the balance between the deep point of view and the emotional arc of the characters was better tuned here and for the most part this emotional journey was engaging. DA January and I engaged in an email discussion about this book and thought we would present a joint review.

Evie is a nineteen year old who lives with her parents. She is sheltered, as the title suggests, but not in a comforting loving fashion. Evie’s parents rigidly religious and she operates under deep fear. There is a ominous tone that hovers around Evie’s thoughts, suggesting she might be the victim of serious abuse. “It wouldn’t even be the belt, for a creature like this in the house with her. It’d be a hole dug in the garden and her in it.”

From her yard she can see a young man buying pot from the next door neighbor. She’s intrigued by him and ventures outside of her comfort zone to speak to him. Everything about him is different. He has a tattoo on his neck, piercings in his eyebrows, a strange haircut. His appearance could not be more different than her own with her Mary Janes and long skirts.

Tyler Vandervoort or Van, as she learns, is attending college and dreams of being an artist. Evie’s dreams are much smaller. She dreams of being freed from her home, her parents control, and perhaps even herself.

JANUARY: Overall, I thought this was a really fun story. It was hard to put down when I was reading it, but after I finished it, I was left unsettled by a few things. Evie seemed inconsistent at times and I had doubts about the HEA. But for a ‘first love’ sort of read, this was excellent. I actually really liked that Van and Evie seemed like realistic teenagers/college-age adults with those sorts of problems. I think this story was told all from Evie’s POV and I enjoyed that, because we got to see her mentally blossom and her anxiety as she struggled to cope with the forbidden hopes and feelings she had.

I really liked this story but I felt both characters ‘slipped’ in their characterization repeatedly. Evie is raised so deeply religious that she refuses to touch herself and rubs against pillows. And yet, she uses the words ‘cunt’ and ‘fuck’ while imagining sex. This was jarring. I understand that it would not be sexy if she talked about touching her pee pee, but I also needed the story to be realistic, and this took me out of the realistic every time.

My biggest problems with the book were two fold. First, the dark cloud of Evie’s parents hung over the book but nothing bad ever happened to Evie. Not when she was smoking pot on their front porch, a scent that can linger not only in the area but on her clothes. Not when she and Van made out on the porch for the neighbors to see. Not when she and Van were alone in the house on several occasions. Evie remained relatively untouched during these days and adventures.

Second, Evie desired freedom or so we were told but she essentially trades one caretaker – her father – for another – Van.

JANUARY: I did think she used the father thing as an excuse quite a bit. The father and mother were rarely on screen and it was very convenient for Evie and Van to get together without anyone finding out. But this didn’t ring as contrived as some of Evie’s statements about how sheltered she was. At one point she comments that her parents took her to an orphanage where Oliver Twist ate gruel and she was made to sit and eat with them to teach her about bad children. But this is someone that bikes to college and likely went to public schools. Surely she would have some knowledge of how things worked? This, again, was totally inconsistent for me. I could have understood it more, perhaps, if Evie had been homeschooled all her life and was taking classes online. Then I might understand the total shut-in mentality that she was supposed to have.

I did think that once the two ‘got together’ and they shared a smoke, the sexual chemistry went wild. I really liked how the two of them got together and took it slow, and they seemed to be hiding out together and exploring each other like teenagers, which felt very well done. The second half of the book is excellent. The first half is lukewarm for me.

I did have issues with the ending and am concerned for their future together. Evie has no funds and she has traded one man’s safekeeping for another. The amount of money that Van has in the bank is a decent amount, but when you think about two people and college, it doesn’t seem like nearly enough. If these were my relatives, I would be concerned for them. I think I ended up liking the concept more than the reality. Plus, I was a little concerned that while the sex was hot, he was very into Evie because she was so inexperienced. What happens when she is no longer the wide-eyed virgin and just another girl? Will he lose interest? This did not sit well with me.

JANE: Yes, exactly, her “liberation” was being taken care of by someone else instead of truly stretching her wings.  However, like you I appreciated how different the book was.   One thing a Stein story excels at is scene tension. Each scene is fraught with the possibility of discovery. The tension makes each interaction between Van and Evie vibrate.    B-/C

Best regards

Jane and January

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