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Our LOLCats Will Express Disgust Over M.B.’s Behavior

You wouldn’t believe how long it took for me to find a LOLCat capable of expressing the rage and hatred that all of romancelandia is feeling today toward stupid fathead Merlin Bracks, who revealed that she has been using a million aliases and faking reviews all over the place.  Is this the work of one crazy author? Or a conspiracy against all readers? Only one (I can’t read the rest of what should be here because the screen cap cut off)

Apparently some author with the initials MB who is a redhead has been keeping diary of her behavior which is incredibly hilarious appalling.  So appalling that I can’t help but express my dismay in LOLCat pics.

 

Oh Noes MB Has Lost It

wearing herself out googling her name every day

According to her diary, she is hassling her publicist, editor, and god knows who else.

Woke up. Googled self. Found a new positive review. Sent quote on to publicist.

Compiled all quotes ever received and sent to publicist. Just in case she lost the last quote. Cc’d to editor, and editor’s assistant. Bcc’d to self, in case they pretend they never received them later. I will know.

Dear publicist are you reading my emails?

Becomes enraged over a pig farmer who left a review complaining about pacing. I  think MB’s book was insulting pig farmers and didn’t really portray pig farmers accurately (I mean, she had them wearing Hunter boots instead of Carhartts.  Everyone knows that Carhartts are the only boots worn by pig farmers. I remember grading that book down for being farming inaccurate. I even made up a name: #infarmaccuracy.)  Anyway, MB makes up anonymous accounts to attack pig farmers:

If you are trying to be anonymous, why blog about it?  On day 2, she downrated the positive reviews on her “competitors’” reviews.

 

On Day 3, MB discovers a group called “Let’s Make Authors Cry” but I couldn’t find it on Yahoo.  It must be a hidden group.  MB plots revenge on readers by using cliffhangers cheating heroes oh she has run out of ideas.

http://meljeanbrook.com/blog/archives/6658

http://meljeanbrook.com/blog/archives/6656

But we can’t look away from the train wreck:

can't help gawking at the meltdown with our internet friendz

 

And while gawking and spending hours talking about the book and the author and the author’s book, to the exclusion of other books, including ones we love, we vow not to buy the book (but try to borrow it from the library).

Not buying book evuh

Day 4 reveals a shocking discovery.  Apparently MB is the entire internet except for a couple of people.  I’m wondering if she is secretly me.  Would I know? Have I been possessed?

 

creating dozens of anonymous accounts

attacking unsuspecting readers

Also, why would a reviewer use the name Jealous Cow?

not a jealous cow
Days 5 through 365, internet meme catches on and MB goes into hiding.  She may be writing again.
http://meljeanbrook.com/blog/archives/6732
In sum, you may want to check out exactly what kind of writer this MB really is!

Jane Litte is the founder of Dear Author, a lawyer, and a lover of pencil skirts. She spends her downtime reading romances and writing about them. Her TBR pile is much larger than the one shown in the picture and not as pretty. You can reach Jane by email at jane @ dearauthor dot com

30 Comments

  1. Manga Maniac
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 10:22:36

    Thanks for the laugh :)

    ReplyReply

  2. Elyssa
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 10:33:55

    Hilarious!

    ReplyReply

  3. library addict
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 10:54:58

    That was great. Thanks for the links.

    And as much as I love the LOLcats, I think the cow is my favorite. Poor cow.

    ReplyReply

  4. Meri
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 11:01:08

    I liked the multiple account kittens. But it was all fantastic.

    I would totally buy Meljean’s books due to her being so awesome, but sadly, am geoblocked. So I will merely express my admiration instead :)

    ReplyReply

  5. Berinn Rae
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 11:31:16

    Meljean is pure awesome :)

    ReplyReply

  6. Angela
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 11:41:08

    tee hee, thank you for this! I love it when jokes interweave, so kudos to you for picking up Meljean’s baton she left for y’all yesterday :)

    ReplyReply

  7. cecilia
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 12:29:08

    I loved those MB diaries. Am thinking of changing my Goodreads name to JealousCow.

    ReplyReply

  8. Estara
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 12:30:53

    ^^ Aww nifty! I thought this was one of her photo-shopped screen shots. Kudos for all the work and finding so many fitting LOLcats ^^

    ReplyReply

  9. courtship
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 12:53:20

    WOKE UP. GOOGLED SELF.

    Whenever I feel down now I think of this and it makes me laugh. :)

    ReplyReply

  10. blodeuedd
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 13:36:47

    LOL!

    ReplyReply

  11. Jane
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 13:52:34

    @Estara: She did originally photoshop the entry and I thought I would make it real.

    ReplyReply

  12. Shiloh walker
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 14:00:07

    The cow is awesome

    ReplyReply

  13. MarieC
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 14:43:42

    LOL! I love the ‘Hiding in Starbucks’ and the Cow!

    ReplyReply

  14. Lori
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 14:50:39

    Woke up, googled self. That has to be the world’s best opening ever.

    ReplyReply

  15. cleo
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 15:06:31

    So much fun. Love Meljean and love you for “making it real”. And love, love the lolcats. Not Buying Your Book Evah!

    ReplyReply

  16. Patricia
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 15:21:22

    I can’t believe you did it! If I wasn’t secretely in love with Dear Author already (and with Brook, but that’s so not a secret) I’d be now!

    ReplyReply

  17. Author on Vacation
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 16:59:29

    *stares in horror*

    This is actually a joke, isn’t it?

    ReplyReply

  18. msaggie
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 17:16:10

    Thanks so much for linking us to Meljean’s Diary of an Author. Seriously, you (or MB) should have a warning sign “please make sure you are not drinking your coffee or munching on anything while reading this blog entry” as it really is LOL and in fact several posters who commented did have to clean up their keyboards. I loved the HEA ending!! And all those proposals of marriage from commenters all over!

    ReplyReply

  19. The Book Vixen
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 17:19:54

    OMG at first I thought this was a serious post. And I was like ‘No, not that author!!!’. A nice dose of laughter during this time of YApocalypse (as another author put it).

    ReplyReply

  20. eggs
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 19:06:56

    Holy shizznuckle, but that was funny! Comedy gold! I laughed so hard I think a little bit of wee might have come out. Thanks for posting the link.

    ReplyReply

  21. karlynp
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 20:20:44

    Oh man, thank GOD this was a joke. At first I too thought Meljean Brooks really was the latest author to behave badly. I almost started to panic! (OK, I *did* start to panic!) It would kill me to boycott her steam-punk series.

    ReplyReply

  22. Lada
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 21:09:54

    Take a bow, Jane!! Giving fake credence to MB’s hilarious mad diary? Genius. COW IS AWESOME!!

    ReplyReply

  23. Jane Davitt
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 22:04:22

    Loved this and the original diary. I snickered and kept quoting bits to any family members wandering by and the cats.

    ReplyReply

  24. Vi
    Jan 14, 2012 @ 22:50:26

    This is why I love romancelandia!

    ReplyReply

  25. Kaetrin
    Jan 15, 2012 @ 05:39:09

    Loved it. Thx to MelJean and DA. :)

    ReplyReply

  26. Estara
    Jan 15, 2012 @ 08:15:42

    @Jane: Hah! Cool ^^

    ReplyReply

  27. Christine M.
    Jan 15, 2012 @ 08:35:06

    @Author on WVacation: It’s a joke based on what’s actually been happening on the InterWebZ for the first two weeks on January. So it’s fake MB, but inspired from true stories.

    ReplyReply

  28. Darlene Marshall
    Jan 15, 2012 @ 10:20:15

    Lovely frosting on MB’s blog of awesome cake. Thanks for the LOLs and the LOLCats.

    ReplyReply

  29. Sherry Thomas
    Jan 17, 2012 @ 09:33:21

    I see Missy has been let out again, even though her name was not specifically mentioned. :-)

    Long live Missy!

    ReplyReply

  30. Stumbling Over Chaos :: In which linkity contemplates the merits of winter hibernation
    Jan 20, 2012 @ 02:09:37

    [...] The final Diary of an Author entry by Meljean Brook. Dear Author responds. [...]

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