Jan 14 2012
You wouldn’t believe how long it took for me to find a LOLCat capable of expressing the rage and hatred that all of romancelandia is feeling today toward stupid fathead Merlin Bracks, who revealed that she has been using a million aliases and faking reviews all over the place. Is this the work of one crazy author? Or a conspiracy against all readers? Only one (I can’t read the rest of what should be here because the screen cap cut off)
Apparently some author with the initials MB who is a redhead has been keeping diary of her behavior which is incredibly
hilarious appalling. So appalling that I can’t help but express my dismay in LOLCat pics.
According to her diary, she is hassling her publicist, editor, and god knows who else.
Woke up. Googled self. Found a new positive review. Sent quote on to publicist.
Compiled all quotes ever received and sent to publicist. Just in case she lost the last quote. Cc’d to editor, and editor’s assistant. Bcc’d to self, in case they pretend they never received them later. I will know.
Becomes enraged over a pig farmer who left a review complaining about pacing. I think MB’s book was insulting pig farmers and didn’t really portray pig farmers accurately (I mean, she had them wearing Hunter boots instead of Carhartts. Everyone knows that Carhartts are the only boots worn by pig farmers. I remember grading that book down for being farming inaccurate. I even made up a name: #infarmaccuracy.) Anyway, MB makes up anonymous accounts to attack pig farmers:
If you are trying to be anonymous, why blog about it? On day 2, she downrated the positive reviews on her “competitors’” reviews.
On Day 3, MB discovers a group called “Let’s Make Authors Cry” but I couldn’t find it on Yahoo. It must be a hidden group. MB plots revenge on readers by using
cliffhangers cheating heroes oh she has run out of ideas.
But we can’t look away from the train wreck:
And while gawking and spending hours talking about the book and the author and the author’s book, to the exclusion of other books, including ones we love, we vow not to buy the book (but try to borrow it from the library).
Day 4 reveals a shocking discovery. Apparently MB is the entire internet except for a couple of people. I’m wondering if she is secretly me. Would I know? Have I been possessed?
Also, why would a reviewer use the name Jealous Cow?