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Wondering What to Get Your Lovely Valentine?

Via Gizmodo

First off I want you to know I can’t believe this has even been patented.   Or maybe I shouldn’t be so naive.   But for guys out there that have a brain that freezes when trying to think of a unique gift for their wife/girlfriend maybe they should be hoping that patent holder Paul Lyons finds a manufacturer for his “condom that plays music with every thrust”.   And if that isn’t appealing enough to your loved one, you would also have the possibility to add your own prerecorded messages.   Ladies (or men), does this sound appealing?

Ned Litte

is Jane's long suffering husband who enjoys high fantasy novels and the occasional romance that Jane disguises as a fantasy book. He is also the photographer and artist of the multimedia reviews here at Dear Author.


  1. Jayne
    Feb 07, 2008 @ 11:27:40

    I’m imagining the “Hallelujah Chorus” or “1812 Overture.”

  2. Jaci Burton
    Feb 07, 2008 @ 11:41:47

    Or “Oh Yeah” by Yello.

    So not telling my husband about this……

  3. Jill Myles
    Feb 07, 2008 @ 11:49:20

    I was thinking more along the lines of AC/DC. “I’ve Got Big Balls…”

  4. Jane
    Feb 07, 2008 @ 12:19:02

    Would the pre-recorded message be used on a vibrator? I can’t imagine why you would want a pre-recorded message.

  5. Meljean
    Feb 07, 2008 @ 14:42:48

    A message from a slutty hero to his heroine:

    “My dear Valentine,

    You have to use this now, because I’ve just been diagnosed with herpes. I did not have the guts to tell you in person.

    Your hero”

  6. Jane
    Feb 07, 2008 @ 14:53:48

    Wouldn’t that be the slutty former boyfriend that turns the heroine into a man hater that only the super smexxy hero can overcome?

  7. Jaci Burton
    Feb 07, 2008 @ 15:21:18

    So Meljean, would that be the prerecorded message playing on the condom? Because that could be a serious mid-event mood killer.

    And now that I’ve spent the better part of my day pondering this condom singing apparatus, wouldn’t the songs and prerecorded messages be muffled somewhat considering their locations when thrusting?

    Clearly I have way too much time on my hands and I should go write.

  8. Sherry Thomas
    Feb 07, 2008 @ 16:10:15

    I want it to say “I’m too sexy for this fuck.”

  9. Shannon Stacey
    Feb 07, 2008 @ 16:58:34

    How ’bout the ‘I like big butts’ song?

    Not telling my husband about this, either.

  10. azteclady
    Feb 07, 2008 @ 17:15:35

    I'm imagining the “Hallelujah Chorus” or “1812 Overture.”

    So of course, I had to go to youtube.

    Gotta say, the soundtrack doesn’t improve the mental image this think evokes.

  11. Ann Bruce
    Feb 08, 2008 @ 01:57:15

    Can it play back Alan Rickman reading a Shakespeare sonnet or well, pretty much anything?

  12. Jules Jones
    Feb 08, 2008 @ 07:34:18

    There is already a vibrator on the market with one of those sound-recording chips that allows people to record a message for their loved one. (Get your minds out of the gutter — I know about this because I know people in the silicon chip industry.)

  13. Shiloh Walker
    Feb 08, 2008 @ 09:42:22

    You know, I’d like to say I’m surprised by that… uh… toy.

    But I’m not.

  14. Bev(QB)
    Feb 08, 2008 @ 09:50:12

    There’s also that vibrator that connects to your iPod and pulses/vibrates to the beat of the music.

    Now THAT’s when you want that 1812 Overture to be playing!

    Giddy-Up Lone Ranger– YEE-HAW!

  15. Shannon Stacey
    Feb 09, 2008 @ 10:42:18

    There is already a vibrator on the market with one of those sound-recording chips that allows people to record a message for their loved one.

    So…theoretically one could put on the Serenity DVD and hit the record button just as Mal says “I aim to misbehave”?

    Just a research question, of course.

  16. Teddypig
    Feb 11, 2008 @ 16:32:57

    Test Testing 123

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