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Tony Perrottet Interprets the Biblical Sex Guide

Church thinkers like Saint Jerome announced that carnal relations were "filthy" even within the bounds of holy matrimony: "The wise man should love his wife with cool discretion," Jerome opined, "not with hot desire- Nothing is nastier than to love your own wife as if she were your mistress."

So writes Tony Perrottet in the introduction to his interesting, funny and informative piece on appropriate coitus in the Middle Ages. The Church was so obssessed with sex that it actually took to writing policies on appropriate positions and punishments for sinful positions. Only one position, of course, was appropriate. Positions not appropriate (with accompanying punishment):

Dorsal sex (woman on top): three years
Lateral, seated, standing: 40 days
Coitus retro -’ rear entry: 40 days
Mutual masturbation: 30 days
Inter-femural sex -’ ejaculation between the legs: 40 days
Coitus in terga -’ anal sex: three years (with an adult); two years (with a boy); seven years (habitual); 10 years (with a cleric)

Wow. Having sex with a woman on top is as bad as having anal sex with a woman but not as bad as having anal sex with a boy.

Jane Litte is the founder of Dear Author, a lawyer, and a lover of pencil skirts. She spends her downtime reading romances and writing about them. Her TBR pile is much larger than the one shown in the picture and not as pretty. You can reach Jane by email at jane @ dearauthor dot com

2 Comments

  1. Kimber An
    May 23, 2008 @ 07:02:11

    Oh, ick.

    Obviously, this idiots were taking advantage of the fact that few could read the Bible back then. If they could, they would have turned to the first few verses of the Book of Solomon (right after Psalms ans Proverbs) which reads, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for his love is sweeter than wine.” “With hi right he embraced me…” And so on. The Bible is actually rather romantic and even Erotic, if you read it yourself instead of relying on others to twist it around to suit their own ambitions.
    ;)

  2. AndreaS
    Jun 11, 2008 @ 13:45:43

    Wow. Just another fact to support how the church was afraid of dominant woman.

    It also just gave me a great idea for a spin-off on the Kama Sutra books they have! I’ve seen one with difficulty ratings, now we get one with “Level of sin ratings”. It could be so much fun…

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