Romance, Historical, Contemporary, Paranormal, Young Adult, Book reviews, industry news, and commentary from a reader's point of view

Thursday News: Austrian law student sues Facebook, Romance novels and “fisting,”...

The suit attacks Facebook for multiple violations of European data protection law and, because every user outside the U.S. and Canada has a contract with Facebook’s Irish operations, most of the world is able to join in. Issues covered by the suit range from Facebook’s surreptitious tracking of people’s web use and weak consent requirements to its alleged participation in the NSA’s PRISM scheme. –Gigaom

Romance authors know exactly what they’re doing when it comes to hair tugging and florid descriptions of the first moments of old-fashioned, penis-in-vagina fucking. However, they have a serious blind spot where fisting is concerned. They don’t seem to know that “fisting” means putting your whole hand in someone’s vagina or butt.

The first few examples are the most common mistake: using “fist” instead of “grab.” This just isn’t used in modern parlance, except when someone places something pointy in her fist to make a weapon, as in, “When the assailant got close, she fisted her key, preparing to strike.” Outside of clueless romance novelists, that’s literally the only time people fist things other than butts and vaginas anymore, and it’s still pretty rare and weird. –Vice

If you order now, you get My Parents Open Carry for the discounted price of $9.99. But wait! There’s more! For a limited time you will also get a free copy of a book by some dude named Doug Giles called Raising Boys Feminists Will Hate! We wish we were making up that book, but alas, it is very, very real:

Parent, if you have a young son and you want him to grow up to be a man, then you need to keep him away from pop culture, public school and a lot of Nancy Boy churches. If metrosexual pop culture, feminized public schools and the effeminate branches of evanjellycalism lay their sissy hands on him, you can kiss his masculinity good-bye because they will morph him into a dandy. Yeah, mom and dad, if – if – you dare to raise your boy as a classic boy in this castrated epoch, then you’ve got a task that’s more difficult than getting a drunk to hit the urinal at Chili’s. Read this bold and hard-hitting guide by Doug Giles, the politically incorrect master, on how to raise your son in a world which more and more seems to hate masculinity. –E! Online

isn't sure if she's an average Romance reader, or even an average reader, but a reader she is, enjoying everything from literary fiction to philosophy to history to poetry. Historical Romance was her first love within the genre, but she's fickle and easily seduced by the promise of a good read. She approaches every book with the same hope: that she will be filled from the inside out with something awesome that she didnʼt know, didnʼt think about, or didnʼt feel until that moment. And she's always looking for the next mind-blowing read, so feel free to share any suggestions!

18 Comments

  1. Laura Jardine
    Aug 07, 2014 @ 07:36:10

    I heard about “My Parents Open Carry” a few days ago. The Amazon reviews are hilarious.

  2. Lin
    Aug 07, 2014 @ 07:56:05

    As a non-US citizen, American gun laws completely baffle me. So with regard to those books: no. Just no.

  3. library addict
    Aug 07, 2014 @ 08:11:31

    It makes me sad. I will never understand why so many equate being pro-female with being anti-male. They are not the same thing.

  4. LG
    Aug 07, 2014 @ 08:53:26

    “To clench into a fish” should probably be “to clench into a fist.” Although I do like the typo – it sounds like something from a stuffed fish recipe for stressed people. :)

  5. cayenne
    Aug 07, 2014 @ 08:53:49

    There was a reply to that Vice article on Jezebel. Some of the comments are pretty awesome.

    http://jezebel.com/um-yeah-romance-novelists-know-what-fisting-is-1617149178/all

  6. Isobel Carr
    Aug 07, 2014 @ 09:05:55

    @Lin: As an American our gun laws completely baffle *me*. Our Supreme Court can’t even seem to correctly diagram and comprehend a basic sentence with two clauses.

    Also, some guy’s ignorance is now MY problem? To quote my friend Danny: “Crack a fucking book.”

  7. Isobel Carr
    Aug 07, 2014 @ 09:13:00

    @cayenne: I am destroyed by CaptainBromerica in the Jezebel link!

  8. Mzcue
    Aug 07, 2014 @ 10:31:30

    Re: “fisting” I have to admit that when I first started reading contemporary romance a few years ago, I was taken aback by the way writers were using the word. There are other verbs that seem less silly—grasped, clutched, entangled—and would call less attention to themselves. I guess that there is a sense of tension associated with “fist,” that makes it appealing to writers doing sex scenes. I don’t think that I was ever confused about who in the story was doing what to which body part, but it isn’t very tidy usage.

  9. Karenmc
    Aug 07, 2014 @ 11:26:24

    Colbert did a sweet shredding of the open carry book the other night. Now I’m going to check out those Amazon reviews.

  10. azteclady
    Aug 07, 2014 @ 11:30:35

    @cayenne: oh that was so awesome! Thank you!

    The Carry and the other book scare me, frankly. I live in a fairly conservative state, and I can easily see people going for them.

  11. Jody W.
    Aug 07, 2014 @ 11:43:50

    Let’s have a race to see who can be the first one to find a copy of one of these fun kiddie books at a thrift store!

  12. Lucy Woodhull
    Aug 07, 2014 @ 11:48:15

    @library addict: I think some in power equate being pro-female with being anti-male in a disingenuous way, not because they necessarily believe it, but because pro-female-ness (not a word, I know) takes power from the Patriarchy, which they want to reinforce at all costs. That’s what these books are to me. Same shit, different century.

  13. Janine
    Aug 07, 2014 @ 12:33:03

    @Karenmc: Yes– it was hilarious. Here’s a link to that Colbert clip for anyone who missed it and wants to catch it.

  14. Robin/Janet
    Aug 07, 2014 @ 12:57:59

    @LG: Hahahaha, I’m not even going to correct it now.

  15. Karenmc
    Aug 07, 2014 @ 14:55:10

    @Janine: Yes; Sendek would surely have appreciated “Where the Wild Things Were”.

  16. Laura Jardine
    Aug 07, 2014 @ 15:08:28

    The Colbert clip was good :)

  17. Janine
    Aug 07, 2014 @ 16:38:22

    @Karenmc: Yes! I also loved what he had to say about the clothing descriptions in My Parents Open Carry!

  18. Susan
    Aug 08, 2014 @ 11:43:53

    I’m late to the discussion, but just last evening I came across the phrase, “I fisted the fabric. . . .” in a UF novel. Honestly, right or wrong, I see this usage with some frequency in numerous genres and it doesn’t even faze me anymore. It’s probably on its way to becoming an acceptable alternate usage. That’s how language evolves–the same way the term initially evolved to include the definition Mike Pearl uses. He may not approve of that, but it certainly seems wrong on many levels to single out romance writers for ridicule.

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