Aug 14 2007
The Surgical Wonder Bra: The Next Best Torture Device for Women
Medical scientists in Israel have devised a new silicone implant that works as a permanent bra. So now you can be uncomfortable all the time. It’s one thing, I suppose to have permanent eyeliner, permanent lip liner and so forth, but still another to have an implanted bra.
The researchers say that all the women want to be the first one. ” It was like a fire in the fields! Everyone was very enthusiastic about the idea.” After reading about how the procedure is done? Not me.
What we’ve done is build a silicon bra, insert it into the body and attach it to the ribs and to the fascia. It’s like a normal external bra,” he continues, “where a strip lies on the shoulder and attaches around the body. We attach it to the ribs instead of to the shoulder, and to the fascia in the lower part of the body.
Via Isreal21c through Gizmodo.
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Aug 14, 2007 @ 11:40:09
Thank you. No. I think I’ll just stick with my primitive torture devices.
Aug 14, 2007 @ 11:49:33
Oh hell no. People are morons. I can’t imagine having a bra permanently attached. I’m thinking…ouch.
Aug 14, 2007 @ 11:58:19
Since the first thing that comes off when I walk in my house is my bra, I’ll pass. Hate them. And…ow. That looks vile.
Aug 14, 2007 @ 12:07:01
And can I just say, “Eww?”
Aug 14, 2007 @ 12:23:39
Just had a thought. At mamagram time that thing must be a HUGE regret! OUCH!
Aug 14, 2007 @ 13:12:20
First I want to see the permanent codpiece for men . . .
Aug 14, 2007 @ 15:50:07
Holy. Cow. I can’t believe anybody would do this to their body willingly.
Aug 14, 2007 @ 16:49:00
YEOWWWCH!
To be honest, it would be kind of nice to be perky, without being completely immobile. Silicone or saline can make you look like you have immovable mounds of flesh on your chest. This looks like it would at least give you more natural bounce. And who wouldn’t want to not have to wear something strapped to your chest forever.
Speaking as a 40-something mom who nursed her kid for almost a year, a little built-in lift-and-separate may not be so bad. But owweee! Look what they do to you.
Aug 14, 2007 @ 19:04:39
Yikes. But you know, it still doesn’t solve the “headlights” problem. THough if the doctor is male, he probably considers that a “perk”.
Aug 15, 2007 @ 01:51:04
Headlights problem? I’ve never understood that one. They’re just nipples. Everyone has them. Why am I supposed to pretend they don’t exist?
Aug 15, 2007 @ 08:08:44
Well, they may just be nipples, but I’d rather avoid the chest-staring as much as possible.
Aug 15, 2007 @ 08:44:29
Yes, I like to pretend they don’t exist in many situations such as business meetings so that the parties to the meeting will listen to me instead of staring at my chest. There are many a body part that “everyone has” that aren’t displayed for many reasons.
Aug 15, 2007 @ 12:15:17
The mammogram issue is a good one. When you have implants, they have to, um, shift them out of the way to get a shot of your breast tissue, but this bastard is anchored.
So your breasts rot off from undiagnosed invasive carcinoma… at least they’re perky!
“A fire in the fields”? I think they misinterpreted the situation. People run away from a fire in the fields.
Aug 15, 2007 @ 21:46:05
This must be the answer to the saggy implant problem. After 20 years or so, even rock hard implants head south. When I do a breast exam, I always think, did you, like, um, actually pay for that mess?