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Re Virginization Is the New Nose Job?

There is an article in MSNBC this morning about re-virginization. For the low low sum of $5,000 you can have your hymen “repaired” so that you can give the “gift” of virginity.

“Have you already unwrapped the priceless gift of virginity and given it away?” asks the Web site for the Pregnancy Resource Center of Northeast Ohio, where Watts began working part-time after she reclaimed her virginity. “Do you now feel like ‘second-hand goods’ and no longer worthy to be cherished? Do you ever wish you could re-wrap it and give it only to your future husband or wife? Guess what…? You can decide today to commit to abstinence, wrapping a brand-new gift of virginity to present to your husband or wife on your wedding night.”

This type of crappy message has to be beaten down. The idea that not being a virgin could result in feeling that you are “second hand goods” and “no longer worthy of being cherished” is about the worst schlock to be passed off to our daughter who already have to deal with tremendous image issues. I think it’s this mentality that makes me hate the virgin widow trope with the heat of a thousand suns.

Jane Litte is the founder of Dear Author, a lawyer, and a lover of pencil skirts. She spends her downtime reading romances and writing about them. Her TBR pile is much larger than the one shown in the picture and not as pretty. You can reach Jane by email at jane @ dearauthor dot com

21 Comments

  1. Keishon
    Feb 28, 2008 @ 11:09:51

    I hear you. I’d heard about this – very bad move.

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  2. jmc
    Feb 28, 2008 @ 11:52:34

    I read about this a while back. Thought I blogged about it at the time, but apparently not. Must’ve just been a discussion on a board — I can’t find it now to link. But pretty much everyone there was squicked by the idea of revirginization. I think most people would probably appreciate the opportunity to “erase” some of the mistakes they’ve made in the past, but that just seems…wrong to me. It’s like pretending or lying or sweeping things under the rug, instead of learning from whatever experience you have or mistakes you’ve made.

    Sez jmc, feeling philosophical and judg-y today.

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  3. Wendy
    Feb 28, 2008 @ 12:37:36

    What JMC said. Like getting “re-virginized” is going to erase the fact that you slept with that asshole after you did one too many Jello shots at a fraternity party. And I don’t know about you all – but um, getting de-virginized HURT! That’s not an experience I’d want to go through again. Just saying.

    Oh and ditto on the virgin widow nonsense. Unless the groom drops dead one minute after saying “I do” at the altar it doesn’t work for me.

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  4. Bonnie L.
    Feb 28, 2008 @ 12:39:15

    Dude, virginity is more than a piece of tissue. These women are wasting their time and money if they think that getting it “fixed” is going to fix the feelings they have about themselves. I think that recommiting yourself to abstinance is just as powerful as abstaining in the first place and at least it admits that there are just some things that you can’t go back and undo.

    Disclaimer: Abstinance is a very personal choice as is having sex. Neither makes you any less or more a good person than the other.

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  5. Kathleen MacIver
    Feb 28, 2008 @ 12:44:38

    Thanks, Bonnie L. You so clearly said what I was trying to figure out how to say!

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  6. Darlene Marshall
    Feb 28, 2008 @ 12:50:22

    “You can decide today to commit to abstinence, wrapping a brand-new gift of virginity to present to your husband or wifeon your wedding night.”

    OK, I’m dying to know what the guys are doing to re-establish their virginity. Going off like a rocket if you look at them funny?

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  7. shamelessreading
    Feb 28, 2008 @ 12:59:35

    Ew. Not enough ew in the world, in fact. A vag tightening (perhaps after pushing out half a dozen kids) is one thing, but this smacks of something you do so your father can sell you off for the proper number of cows.

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  8. AAR Rachel
    Feb 28, 2008 @ 13:41:46

    What is the point anyway? Virginity was supposed to be a purity reference in an era when paternity was of the utmost importance. For those for whom paternity is the be-all-end-all, we have DNA testing now, don’t we?

    Lord help us all if, to be valuable to each other, women have to be virginal and/or decorative. Yack.

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  9. janicu
    Feb 28, 2008 @ 13:44:02

    Thank you Darlene! How do men become virgins again? Do they get an operation because I don’t think so.

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  10. Keishon
    Feb 28, 2008 @ 14:43:30

    Disclaimer: Abstinance is a very personal choice as is having sex. Neither makes you any less or more a good person than the other.

    I loved what you said, period, but wanted to highlight that part and shout a “Amen” to that and add that- I can’t fathom what an intact hymen has to do with restoring your self-esteem but hey, whatever works for you but it’s still a big “ick.” I used to watch Dr. 90120 on occassion and hear young women all the time saying how they felt better about themselves after enlarging their breasts. [eye roll]

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  11. DS
    Feb 28, 2008 @ 15:26:55

    Reminds me of the letters that doctors used to write explaining that a girl’s lack of hymen was due to equestrienne activity or bicycle riding or whatever. You could probably get a letter a lot cheaper and less painful than a recreated hymen.

    So, do you also hang the sheets out the window to prove your revirginity to the neighbors?

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  12. Shiloh Walker
    Feb 28, 2008 @ 17:20:53

    Dude, virginity is more than a piece of tissue. These women are wasting their time and money if they think that getting it “fixed” is going to fix the feelings they have about themselves. I think that recommiting yourself to abstinance is just as powerful as abstaining in the first place and at least it admits that there are just some things that you can't go back and undo.

    Disclaimer: Abstinance is a very personal choice as is having sex. Neither makes you any less or more a good person than the other.

    Ditto, ditto, and double ditto.

    If self-esteem is that bad, then I’m sorry, no surgery will fix the problem.

    Geez.

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  13. Rosie
    Feb 28, 2008 @ 19:45:12

    This is just dumb. All the effort that is made to educate people about women’s equality (EQUALITY NOW) and we have this?

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  14. Janine
    Feb 29, 2008 @ 01:18:55

    OK, I'm dying to know what the guys are doing to re-establish their virginity. Going off like a rocket if you look at them funny?

    LOL!

    this smacks of something you do so your father can sell you off for the proper number of cows.

    ROTFL!

    You could probably get a letter a lot cheaper and less painful than a recreated hymen.

    LOL again!

    I just had to recap some of the great lines in this thread.

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  15. Jackie L.
    Feb 29, 2008 @ 10:55:18

    Women have immigrated here from countries where loss of virginity can equal loss of head (the entire head, like chopped off). Re-hymenization has been performed here already to “protect” these young women when they return home. I don’t think the ad was aimed at your average Jane Public.

    (I could be wrong again as usual.)

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  16. Has
    Feb 29, 2008 @ 11:07:03

    Jackie L – you’re right. The operation is very common in countries like the Mid-east. If a girl is found not to be a virgin – the best that could happen is that she becomes an outcast or the worst is that she could be killed because she has brought ‘dishonour’ to the family. I don’t know anyone personally that had this operation but I have heard stories of young girls who were force to have this procedure- because there are still those Medieval expectations of women being virgins for their husbands. I was horrified to hear that after my cousin’s wedding- her mother proudly displayed the sheets.
    But the operation is also common in other countries – I personally don’t understand why women would want to undertake that but for religious/cultural reasons I can.

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  17. jmc
    Feb 29, 2008 @ 11:39:07

    Jackie and Has, I don’t doubt that the procedure is helpful and life/face-saving for young women of some cultures. But the article I linked to indicated that the majority of the procedures (here in the US) were being done as vanity procedures. According to one doctor who performs the procedure, “Women tell us they want to look like they’re 18 again.”

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  18. Gennita Low
    Feb 29, 2008 @ 16:53:18

    Umm. They want WHERE to look like 18 again?

    :P

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  19. EJ McKenna
    Mar 02, 2008 @ 03:58:28

    Oh dear!
    My first visit to your site and I click on this discussion link!

    Eeeeewwww! and an Ick chaser.

    Apart from that, I once had a discussion with my obstetrician about hymens. I asked her to prove they exist. I reckoned it was all an invention from earliest time to keep women in line. I mean, how perfect is it that you can have some ‘physical’ proof of being ‘untouched’. Cos, you can’t just take a girl’s word for it…

    The obstetrician said some women aren’t even born with hymens. I’ve never seen a picture of one. (And no, that is not an invitation to show a picture to me. There are some things I just don’t need to see!)

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  20. sherry thomas
    Mar 02, 2008 @ 10:10:41

    I wonder if men had a man-hymen that hurts to remove the first time, would there be a similar operation to restore it so it could hurt a second time and bleed a little just to satisfy the narrow-minded woman/family who wouldn’t be satisfied with anything less?

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  21. James
    Jan 29, 2009 @ 08:55:19

    This has to be one of the biggest money wasters i’ve heard of. That is unless your going to be put to death if your NOT a virgin and your husband was to find out on his wedding night.

    ReplyReply

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