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Jane Litte is the founder of Dear Author, a lawyer, and a lover of pencil skirts. She spends her downtime reading romances and writing about them. Her TBR pile is much larger than the one shown in the picture and not as pretty. You can reach Jane by email at jane @ dearauthor dot com

9 Comments

  1. (Jān)
    Jun 24, 2008 @ 00:25:59

    Why do I picture the members of this society to be a bunch of guys with premature ejaculation problems sitting around a table deciding on a good time range, one guy insisting that they keep lowering it until they hit three minutes?

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  2. Moira Reid
    Jun 24, 2008 @ 04:01:29

    Honestly? Imagine what constitutes “good sex” for a second. Something like this works for me:

    He picks you up in his very clean, good looking car: 5-20 minutes
    You drive to some place nice (movies, dinner, the awaiting limo where you fly to your destination, etc.): 5-120 minutes
    He gets you from the car into the location, covering your hair if it's raining, holding your hand or resting his hand on your lower back allowing for your slower walking time in those fantastic Manolo Blahniks you splurged on: 10-20 minutes
    You dance, you have wine, you eat fabulous food, you watch movies and share popcorn-’whatever you do, he flirts with you with his eyes and doesn't even notice the gorgeous young waitress or Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader convention: 60-180 minutes
    He returns you home: 5-120 minutes
    You decide that oh yeah, he's a keeper: (no time wasted here…you've figured it out about 10 minutes in)
    The actual “sex” part: 3-30 minutes
    He says you are the most beautiful and amazing woman he's ever seen in his life and is practically rendered speechless by you: 3-30 minutes

    Add all that up…NOW we've got ourselves some good sex, and we're looking at anywhere from an hour and a half to over 8 hours.

    All the therapists in the world don't know what romance novelists know…it's not the in-and-out that gets it done. It's everything before and after…if you're lucky, YEARS after. :-)

    Looking for a good free read where the “sex” takes the whole book? Check out my website… and have a great day. http://www.readmoore.com

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  3. Anion
    Jun 24, 2008 @ 05:15:59

    *shrug* I agree. I go numb after a while, frankly.

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  4. Keishon
    Jun 24, 2008 @ 08:39:33

    LOL, I reported on this when it came out. It was a very popular hit. Very interesting article. All the men are cheering out there.

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  5. Antti-Juhani Kaijanaho
    Jun 24, 2008 @ 08:40:43

    The study is talking about vaginal intercourse length, which, I am told, is just one part of sex :)

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  6. veinglory
    Jun 24, 2008 @ 18:58:31

    Quite. And most romance books realise there is more to sex than an uninterrupted period of vaginal intercourse. Assuming, that is, that the female wants to come as well which tends to take 20 minutes or so on average.

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  7. Stephanie Z.
    Jun 25, 2008 @ 12:02:58

    Jan, I think I agree with you.

    What WERE the demographics of the group? And how did they define ‘good’?

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  8. SonomaLass
    Jun 25, 2008 @ 17:06:48

    “From the perspective of sex therapists, three minutes in the vagina before ejaculation is fine.”

    Okay, I’m down with that part. It’s how much time we spend doing *whatever* BEFORE that, and AFTER that, which this study doesn’t address, that matters to me.

    I do think that some erotica and pornography paints an unrealistic picture of the length of that one sex act — in my [limited] experience, it’s the stuff written by [and for?] men that focuses on “how long he lasted.” Romance, romantica, erotica written by and for women tends to look at the bigger picture, and the thrill is derived from the whole series of actions, not the one we’ve been conditioned to think of as “the main event.”

    How sad to be a man who feels inadequate because he “doesn’t last,” when the real inadequacies are, from a woman’s perspective, very different. Studies like this would do a service if they de-bunked that particular myth; I just wish they could do that without bolstering the myth that “real sex = vaginal intercourse” and the rest doesn’t matter.

    I’m with Moira; hours, even years, and it’s good for me.

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  9. Kalen Hughes
    Jun 25, 2008 @ 17:25:43

    Anything from 10-30 minutes (and I suppose longer) is “Seriously, Houston, we've got a problem.”

    Wow. Good to know most of the men I’ve dated had a “problem”. *rolls eyes* Seems more like this is propaganda for premature ejaculators (cause you know men should never be made to feel bad/inadequate about their penis or what they can do with it).

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