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Friday News: All American Boy; Gender gap in college; First female...

The comments are tender from the person who says that this video was a true representation of his own love story and he didn’t have to change the gender or pronouns in the song to make it his to critical “He’s super hot but that does little to change the fact that it’s still country music.” HA!

As the new season swiftly approaches there hasn’t been anyone in the NFL who came out, although a well known NBA veteran did. But perhaps a new boundary will be crossed if 39 year old Sarah Thomas becomes the first permanent female official next year. There is no physical reason why a woman couldn’t do the NFL reffing job. It might be the closest a woman might ever get to the NFL field.

“Of the 3.2 million youth age 16 to 24 who graduated from high school between January and October 2012, about 2.1 million (66.2 percent) were enrolled in college in October. For 2012 graduates, the college enrollment rate was 71.3 percent for young women and 61.3 percent for young men.

[labor force participation rate (the proportion of the population working or looking for work)] for male and female graduates enrolled in college were 34.4 and 41.6 percent, respectively.

There are no hard and fast answers for the male decline. Some assert that the result is because males are moving toward more trade oriented work right out of high school but overall employment, either post high school or post secondary school.

Another theory is that boys are not finishing high school at the same rates that women are so the problem starts even earlier.

Despite this, women still earn 79 percent of the weekly salary their male counterpart does.

The two males responded that she should get back into the kitchen and get herself raped. This prompted the husband to write the blog post for wherein he called out male players for their ignorance and disgusting behavior. The post has gotten a lot of play so hopefully it goes beyond flygirlgamers to the mainstream game playing world.

The point is that there shouldn’t BE a time when a female gamer has to be subjected to that kind of vitrol and smack talking for no other reason than she logged on…and she has a vagina. It should never be that the answer to getting bested by a female gamer is to tell her to get back into the kitchen or worst yet: get raped. Female gamers just like any other gamer should be able to enjoy the experience of gaming without feeling uncomfortable. Without being subjected to misogynistic taunts for no other reason than she logs on! Now I know what many of you apologists are going to say to that:” man that’s just how gaming is, we trash talk, it’s not personal.””

In light of what I suspect will be an increasing economic disparity between men and women, I would envision that there will be a period of time when male response to female independence will be to engage in more shows of attempted sexual dominance. In other words, I expect this male behavior in game play and out to get worse rather than better in the near term.

Jane Litte is the founder of Dear Author, a lawyer, and a lover of pencil skirts. She self publishes NA and contemporaries (and publishes with Berkley and Montlake) and spends her downtime reading romances and writing about them. Her TBR pile is much larger than the one shown in the picture and not as pretty. You can reach Jane by email at jane @ dearauthor dot com


  1. Eliza Evans
    Jul 05, 2013 @ 06:35:40

    Aw, the video is sad!

  2. Kaetrin
    Jul 05, 2013 @ 08:26:15

    I choose to believe he gets a HEA after the end of the clip! I’m so happy this song/clip is out. Loved it.

  3. Sirius
    Jul 05, 2013 @ 08:44:59

    I loved the song too, thank you.

  4. hapax
    Jul 05, 2013 @ 09:29:13

    I’m not much of a sports romance reader, but a contemporary about a romance between, say, a female ref and a male coach or sports rep (I think a player would be TOO much of a conflict of interest) could have some very interesting dynamics.

  5. Meri
    Jul 05, 2013 @ 10:00:05

    I don’t read too many sports romances either, because many of the ones published seem to get it wrong and/or just don’t appeal to me personally. I would not read a romance between a coach and a referee; it is no less a conflict of interest than a ref/judge/umpire and a player, that is, completely inappropriate. I would consider reading about a ref and a broadcaster, or anyone else involved in that sport but not part of any team’s on field or front office operations or with any direct ties to players (e.g. agents). It pretty much sets up a conflict of “who will give up their career for the relationship”, and I can’t say I’d appreciate that.

  6. mari
    Jul 05, 2013 @ 10:30:37

    Can’t help but wonder if the growing acceptance of homosexuality, the rise of women in the previously dominated male fields (and hobbies), and the decline in male educational levels are combining in the decline of traditional marriage and the falling birthrate. I guess many folks here consider this a good thing. I wonder…if the oft quoted statistic that that women continue to earn less than male counterparts is true, than men not wanting to get married is a real problem for women, particularly if women want children and financial security from their husband and most do.

    Sometimes wonder if romance books are a fantasy, but not in the way most people mean.Sometimes I think as the traditional marriage continues to decline and more and more women remain single, romance books will continue to surge in popularity. Marriage, as we know it, goes away, but continues to be a happy dream, as documented in the literature most women read.

  7. Jane
    Jul 05, 2013 @ 10:42:14

    @mari – not sure if you are questioning the validity of the off quoted study, but its from the BLS (Bureau of Labor Statistics) –

    On a not seasonally adjusted basis, median weekly earnings were $773 in the first quarter of 2013. Women who usually worked full time had median weekly earnings of $704, or 81.2 percent of the $867 median for men. (See table 2.)

    What statistics show a decline of interest by men wanting to get married. Men tend to remarry after death and divorce at a higher rate than women ( Health studies have shown that marriage is beneficial to the male. ( Also your statement “women want children and financial security from their husband and most do” isn’t born out in any scientific research that I’ve seen. Women are increasingly becoming the breadwinners in families. (

    In sum, I don’t get your generalized statements and they don’t appear to be backed up by science or any studies that I’ve seen.

  8. Jane
    Jul 05, 2013 @ 10:43:19

    @Meri –

    It pretty much sets up a conflict of “who will give up their career for the relationship”

    This is a conflict I don’t like much. I actually actively avoid those books because while the conflict is really high, authors have a hard time convincing me that the sacrifice the one party makes for the other is equitable.

  9. Darlynne
    Jul 05, 2013 @ 11:08:55

    @mari: Birth rates decline as education levels increase; it is an absolute and documented fact.

  10. Ridley
    Jul 05, 2013 @ 11:28:59

    It’s tiresome to see, yet again, an elevation of male voices over female ones. Female SFF authors and female gamers have been speaking out about sexism en masse for ages, yet it isn’t until a man takes it seriously that anyone outside the fandom takes notice. I’m glad for the signal boost from Scalzi and this gamer guy, but the media is showing its own sexism with how it chooses which sources to privilege.

    (This isn’t a criticism of Dear Author. You’ve covered Anita Sarkeesian and the female SFF authors objecting to SFWA’s sexist crap.)

  11. Isobel Carr
    Jul 05, 2013 @ 12:25:23

    @mari: Like Jane, I have no idea what you’re basing your opinion on, but it doesn’t seem to be on facts. There have been no studies showing a linkage between marriage equality and a decline in heterosexual marriage rates (in fact, the opposite is true).

    Marriage remains strongest (and divorce rates lowest) among the educated, which would seemingly put paid to your concerns about women entering “male dominated fields” killing marriage (and given the educational statics of DA readers would also call into question you assertion that we as a group would think the decline of marriage in the working class is a good thing). The studies I’ve seen show that one of the main impediments to marriage these days is the lack of decent paying blue collar jobs. This was all summed up quite nicely (with links to the studies) on CNN and in the NY TIMES:

  12. Lindsay
    Jul 05, 2013 @ 17:31:51

    @Ridley: I so hear you on this. It’s incredibly frustrating, and at the moment I find I have to feed my husband lines to get people to listen to facts when it comes to sexism and so on — if I say them myself, I get talked over or told it can’t possibly be true. If he says it, it’s accepted as fact without question.

    It’s getting better, especially amongst friends, but because we’re both game developers for a big studio, these conversations come up ALL THE TIME at work. I’m grateful for him as a strong and outspoken ally who will defer to me and will flat-out tell people to ask ME, not him, but it’s still extremely frustrating that I have to use him as a mouthpiece sometimes if something is extremely important and needs to be settled.

    On the other hand, the office is a very progressive environment and tends to weed out the truly active misogynists… I’ve worked in very hostile environments before coming here, and sadly still regard most of multiplayer gaming at large as a hostile environment. The fact that HR won’t ever say to me “But you might get pregnant, and then we’d lose you for a year, so we can’t give you a raise” at this office shouldn’t be saying something about quality of life here, but it is.

    For the song, it’s lovely, and about time — I’ve always liked Country music but it has been way too heteronormative, and even though you can switch the pronouns and still have a great song, I prefer not having to. And I want to think the video has a HEA too, off-camera. :)

  13. Janine
    Jul 05, 2013 @ 17:52:49

    I love the video. Nice song too, though I’m not a fan of country music!

  14. k8899
    Jul 05, 2013 @ 22:34:25

    @Meri –

    It pretty much sets up a conflict of “who will give up their career for the relationship”

    Like Jane I avoid these. Especially since we know who will be giving up their career 99% of the time (in het).

  15. Kaetrin
    Jul 06, 2013 @ 02:30:56

    I’m sorry (not really) but I can’t see any correlation between the rising acceptance of homosexuality (hooray, about time and yay for the downfall of DOMA) and a decline in marriage rates.

  16. Shelley
    Jul 08, 2013 @ 19:29:25

    @Ridley: Excellent point.

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