Welcome to Query Saturday. Individual authors anonymously send a query to be read and critiqued by the Dear Author community of authors, readers and industry others. Anyone is welcome to comment. Published authors may do so under their own name or anonymously.
Readers, though, the way that I look at it is this: Would the hook itself interest you in reading the book. If yes, what interests you and if not, what would you change to make it more appealing?
Dear Ms. X,
I saw on Publisher’s Marketplace you represent science fiction and romance. You may be interested in my 95,000 word Science Fiction Romance novel, Title Deleted.
Lena McAllister has it all – wealth, fame, family, and a past that has come back to settle a score.
A charming (yet psychopathic) crime lord takes her nieces hostage. To get them back, Lena must assassinate Rogusta’s most respected senator, who just happens to have GIA bodyguards surrounding him at all times. An impossible task gets even harder when she discovers Chief Agent Finn Droverson can read her thoughts – and emotions – like she is a comm display. If the GIA learns of her plan, she’ll never see the girls again.
If only Finn’s superpowers stopped at telepathy. Lena is a bit startled when their hands fuse together, and her knuckles suddenly spurt black hair. The saying ‘two become one’ is not supposed to be literal. This wondrous leap in human evolution has her running for the door.
Lena and Finn soon find their abilities make them stronger, faster, and more powerful than they ever thought possible. Together they attempt to battle double agents, outwit the smartest criminal in the galaxy, save her family, and figure out what their abilities mean for their future – and the future of the galaxy.
My short story, “Title Deleted”, is e-published with Publisher X. I am a mechanical engineer specializing in armament research and development for the U.S. Army.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I’d be happy to send you the manuscript if you are interested.
A Writer in Need of Query Assistance
Interested in participating in Query Saturday? Send your query to jane at dearauthor.com. All queries are kept confidential. We are also going to start a First Page series in which we post the first page of both published and unpublished books to see whether the opening scenes hook you as a reader. If you are an author, either aspiring or published and want to participate, send your first page to jane at dearauthor.com or use our handy dandy input form.