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First Page: Unpublished manuscript – Erotic Memoir

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I think I am going out of my mind. It has been seven years I felt the heat of man. His lips tasting the icing of cake off mines, his weight lying on top of me and my ass pressed against his balls in doggy style.

“ Hell I got to do something about sweet punishment.” I thought that night.

I was trying to sustain from sex that night until he had given me my ring as promise. It made all the sense in the world to make him wait even if I was not a virgin. I waited this long since my ex lover. Plus I did not want to be another girl on his long list we talked in private about. I had the kind of jobs that mistakes was not taken lightly. Nevertheless Emmanuel had a well respected career as a teacher, minister and a choir director at his local church. The problem of telling him no that night was that I wanted to go all the way. At least that is what the little sip of alcohol said that night. I do not drink but I would have looked lesser than the women he dated if I would had hand him the drink back.

While lying down with him with the seat pull back , we could only talk of the past while the alcohol wasted me. I never knew that just a few sips would have me confessing like a Catholic school girl. I made excuses after excuses why I would not commit to soon. My sister had the crazy idea he was with someone else and we did not know each other that well. Since I would not commit so fast he honestly said he was thinking about someone else.
That he could not keep waiting for me and next December might be to long to wait for an engagement.

I wanted my family to be alright with him and my ex not to give me a hard time either or make up lies.
Tonight it happen all to fast. It was a late birthday party for me but I cared about Emmanuel so it did not matter.
There were times a man would not even buy me a birthday card.

“What about just a little taste tonight?” he remarked as I could taste the cake he brought along.
He was feeling my breast real tight. I figure it was the drink that got him so horny that night.

I decided to get out of his car. I had nothing on but my night gown when I came to greeted him.
I knew he was a busy man because lately he never made anytime for me. He was always handling work and church functions, his other mommy drama, and counseling broken homes.

I did not notice he had followed me back to house with white cake and white and purple icing. White not my favorite color but he use it to say I was pure. Maybe pure in acting but not so pure with other things. Deep in my state of sleep or coma it happen and I decide to take the cake and rub it on his ear. I licked it off with my tongue slowly.

He rip off his pants and he knew the secret that I enjoyed it one way and one way only.

“ I’m the Great Dame.” I said as I stood on a dining chair table.

He did not say a word for a minute. We locked lips once again holding each other tight.

“ I want teach you something.” he whispered in my ear.

I giggle again in my little Barbie girl voice. I ran my fingers though his hair.

“ Yes, Sir.” I grab him closer one more time to kiss him.

Emmanuel was the man I loved. He took as a rubenesque red woman. He was like a Greek god that night and I would be anything from a goddess or least to have in between my thighs.
Emmanuel slide his hands over the red V lace on my gown touching my breast.

“ What does it take for me to get you out of all that red.” he smiled while raising my silk gown up.

I thought closer as I look at the colors that highlighted his hair. Who could he call all red? I was a strawberry blond with flip curls. I had taken off my wig cause tonight all I had was my pride. I could lose nothing else since I lost everything.

“ Oh I really do need to laid.” I began by unbutton his shirt.

God mad the heavens strike me down if I moan out tonight. I never was this turn on with my ex lover. Since I had no experience with no other man would I fail the teacher’s test.
I was anxious as a two year old and wondering so much like a three year old. I became a mess almost falling off the chair. It was my ass he wanted to see. I was ready for the six foot height man that stood behind me. I got on my knees on the dining table. How did he reach the spot I do not know. He was tall enough that he would not need a chair anyway.

“ Are you ready for daycare” Emmanuel said throwing my education book across the table.

It was then I felt his huge cock in my pussy. It hurt so bad but I wanted more. If he was going to be my husband than I was going to have to take it. I was praying to stars in the skies that my pussy would become wetter.

“ You told me you was not that big?” I said grasping for air.

The more I pump back and grinded him deep in my pussy I got wetter and hotter.
The more I moan but I could not get his name out. It was clear he was on a mission impossible. That my tight pussy could handle him.

“Mmm.” I screamed as he put the cake in my mouth.

He started to laughed as he grasp for oxygen He was taking so fast. The need to want to stop I could not do. His firm hands latch on me tight. This is what I wanted all the time.
I was sick of masturbating or sneaking little pictures of my vagina to him so he could satisfied his need some where else.

Emmanuel was moaning slightly as I began to cum over his thighs like ice cream.
Emmanuel pull me off the table. It was rough hit to the floor but he turn me over.

“ I want deep penetration.” he said as I laid down on the floor.

“ Whatever your order.” I remarked as he closed my legs tight together.

It felt like heaven. I could not control myself any more. I grab on to his hands tight and I went around with my vagina like a hurricane. I closed my vagina to make it bite. Always make him never forget who I was. Emmanuel took it out slowly. I could hear him breathing hard. I simply tried turning around to see if he was fine.

“Turn around.” he said as he turn me back over.

Emmanuel place his not so hard any more cock in my anus. The more he went in the more harder he grew.

“ I told you I only tried it once.” I remarked as he got harder.

Slowing pushing it in and out. He began to kiss me on my back. I stayed laying on my stomach while his kisses flowered me from my neck to my butt. I felt his wet tongue touch my wet pussy. He made me hotter as he licked on my pearl tongue. Emmanuel stuck his cock in my pussy once more. This time he grind-ed it over and over.
I tried to keep my woman live ego that I could handle a man and not moan like most women who say they can handle any size.

Jane Litte is the founder of Dear Author, a lawyer, and a lover of pencil skirts. She spends her downtime reading romances and writing about them. Her TBR pile is much larger than the one shown in the picture and not as pretty. You can reach Jane by email at jane @ dearauthor dot com

30 Comments

  1. Kate Sherwood
    May 04, 2014 @ 06:32:17

    I don’t really know what to say about this.

    I mean, there are some serious grammar and word-choice issues that need to be addressed. Too many to start listing them, really.

    After that – I think to be classified as erotica, there should be some tension, some emotion, and some depth to the characters. If it’s a memoir, those elements should all be available to the author, but I’m not seeing any of it on the page right now. I think I’d suggest focusing on those parts of the story and letting the physical descriptions take care of themselves.

    Right now I’d say this is better classified as porn. No judgement, there – porn can be great! But as I understand it, porn is a different market than erotica, with different expectations.

    That’s about all I’ve got on this one, I think!

  2. Anne Gresley
    May 04, 2014 @ 06:58:50

    I debated long and hard about whether to comment because I’m not sure I have anything constructive to say. Author, you need to learn the basics of English grammar and semantics because, without those as a foundation, there’s no way to tell whether you and your story have any promise. Sorry I can’t be more helpful.

  3. SAO
    May 04, 2014 @ 09:32:50

    This makes no sense. You’ve got language issues, but that’s not all that making it so difficult to figure out what’s going on. However, reading through this unedited, un-proof-read nonsense to try and figure out what to fix is a waste of my time.

  4. Michele Mills
    May 04, 2014 @ 09:36:36

    After reading the first paragraph, I was turned off immediately by the missing and/or misspelled words. Sorry, I was unable to continue. This is still valuable feedback though- it helps you to see how crucial craft/clean copy is -without it, you lose your reader!
    Good luck with your writing! Thank you for submitting!

  5. Carol McKenzie
    May 04, 2014 @ 09:43:07

    Hi Author,

    I’m not sure where to start. The English is poor and at some points, it reads like a bad Google translation of a different language. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but this is very difficult to read. There are multiple grammar errors, and just plain wrong word choices.

    Aside from that, it’s not erotica. It’s porn with words, and it’s bad porn. And there is a niche for all three, somewhere. But if you’re looking for erotica, you’ve missed the mark completely.

    Erotica is not just blatant descriptions of well-endowed men having sex with willing women. Word choice alone does not erotica make. You need the emotions and passion behind the act that drives the characters, the sexual tension that develops, all the stuff that happens well before your characters take their clothes off.

    Think of all of that as written foreplay for your reader. I write erotica (and sometimes porn with words) and I might have pages of steamy dialog, teasing between the characters, foreplay…anything that ramps up the sexual tension of my characters before they actually do anything. And when they do finally come together, it’s never a blow-by-blow description of every single movement of each character. Most people know how sex works. Overly descriptive sex scenes just go back to porn with words, or get so clinical all the erotic is sucked right out.

    Aside from that, you’ve got tropes that take this out of erotica and back to bad porn. Women describing themselves as thinking or being like small children, references to a Barbie-voiced protag, him mentioning daycare. None of that is sexy. All that does is reduce the woman to that detestable image of woman as eternal child. And that’s the furthest thing from erotica. It’s just gross.

    And your protag was right; no six foot man can reach a woman on her hands and knees on a dining room table. I suspected you wanted coffee table, or some other piece of furniture. But if your protag wonders how the heck he got it in, your readers are going to not only wonder, but probably laugh at the visual image that passage elicits. Just because he’s well-endowed doesn’t make him magically able to reach his intended goal.

    The question is usually whether we’d read more after reading first pages. I’m sorry to say no, I’d really not want to read more of this. If I picked this up (and I doubt it would ever get published as is traditionally, which means I’d be reading a sample on Amazon) the first sentence would be enough to make me put it back, simple because of the poor grammar.

    Even if the grammar were impeccable, still…no. While starting a story en medias res is a popular way to begin a story, starting in the middle of sex is not, unless you can finesse the hell out of that opening scene.

    Suggestions? Learn good grammar. Then read good erotica. A lot of it. Then go back and start over with this. Because under all the stuff that’s not working, there may just be a memoir here that’s worth uncovering.

    And make sure it’s a memoir you’re really writing…there is a difference between a memoir and fiction.

  6. theo
    May 04, 2014 @ 10:08:52

    This is a complete mess. I couldn’t read past the first few sentences so I just skimmed. The grammar is mashed, the tenses are off, the sentences are badly constructed and I agree that this is not erotic. This is porn. Bad porn. I’m not even sure Playboy or Hustler would accept something like this. Well, Hustler…maybe…

    The point is, you need to understand grammar to communicate and when you write, you’re communicating. Thoughts, words, stories, what have you, you’re giving someone else, in some form, information they want or need. In this case, the information is so cobbled as to make it unreadable.

  7. cleo
    May 04, 2014 @ 10:46:34

    I agree with the other comments – this is a mess. I don’t think it’s even porn / stroke fiction yet, because it’s so hard to follow the sex – I wasn’t aroused by it because I couldn’t figure out what was going on.

    If I’m reading this right, the protag hasn’t had sex in 7 years and wants to get engaged to Emmanuel before sleeping with him. For some reason I don’t understand, he comes over, she greets him in a red night gown, something happens involving alcohol and white cake and then they have uncomfortable sounding sex in the dining room(maybe?).

    The characterizations are inconsistent and the action is choppy and strangely dreamlike. I half expect to discover that this is either a fantasy or a role playing set up. It doesn’t read like something that actually happened (or would happen).

  8. cleo
    May 04, 2014 @ 10:48:12

    Ack. I wrote a great comment but the system thinks I’m a spammer. If my old comment went to spam, could so wine fish it out?

  9. Linda
    May 04, 2014 @ 10:57:12

    I second everything the previous commenters said about spelling and grammar. I would like to add that I was left with the impression that this was written by a teenage boy who has never actually had sex with a woman (and fears them slightly). Freud would have a field day with “I closed my vagina to make it bite.” Stay in school, kid.

  10. Carol McKenzie
    May 04, 2014 @ 11:12:59

    @Linda: I totally skimmed over the vaginal hurricane with teeth. That’s what happens when there’s bad grammar…skimming and skipping. And no writer wants that.

  11. cleo
    May 04, 2014 @ 11:22:52

    This is what I think happens in the story. The protag hasn’t had sex in 7 years. She wants to wait to sleep with Emmanuel until they’re engaged. For some reason, he comes over, she greets him in a red night gown, something happens involving alcohol and white cake, and they have sex (maybe in the dining room).

    It’s really hard to follow. The characterizations are wildly inconsistent and the action is choppy and dreamlike. I was half expecting this to be a dream or a role playing scenario. It doesn’t read like something that actually happened (or would happen).

    Good luck with this and keep writing.

  12. theo
    May 04, 2014 @ 11:47:43

    One other thing, after thinking about this, I looked it up to be sure, but there was a series of porn movies in the mid to late 70’s with the protag named Emanuelle. If this ever gets edited so it’s readable, I’d think about changing that name…

  13. Annette
    May 04, 2014 @ 12:08:53

    I usually look so forward to Dear Author’s First Page. Today, I’m sort of annoyed that the author of this piece could have so little respect for the readers’ and critiquers’ time. I’m sorry I’m not as generous as the other commenters today. I don’t come to DA expecting porn. And at the very least, have the thing proofread before submitting.

  14. Ridley
    May 04, 2014 @ 14:23:47

    I spend a fair amount of time reading free stroke fiction on Literotica and elsewhere. I love porn and I love erotica.

    This piece’s problem is not that it’s porn. The problem is that it’s very poorly written.

    The grammar is a mess, the plot timeline is undecipherable, the euphemisms are unintentionally funny… I could go on and on. To say “this is just porn” is to smear those who write porn well. Porn engages you, excites you, lets you escape into its world for a bit. This submission just confuses you.

    OP: Please read more and find a good writing community to join. Read what you want to write and read about craft. You’re not hopeless if you want to learn, but you have work to do to make your prose work for you.

    Commenters: Please read more porn and learn more about what makes it work before dismissing it out of hand. Just like with romance there is good porn and there is bad porn.

  15. Erin Satie
    May 04, 2014 @ 14:44:22

    I don’t comment on these much because I’m not a pure reader anymore & haven’t published, so I think my advice is at its most useless.

    That being said–the comments have hit all the negatives. I won’t go over them again. The commenters are right. This is really hard to follow.

    BUT.

    I thought there were some striking images. Here are a few sentences that I really liked:

    “There were times a man would not even buy me a birthday card.” — There was an honest pain in this sentence that really struck me. It felt real & it made me want to invest in the heroine, to care about her future.

    “At least that is what the little sip of alcohol said that night.” — No, the grammar here is not perfect, but there’s something sly and teasing about the phrasing. ‘the little sip’ — we all know it’s not a little sip. Nicely done.

    “‘I’m the Great Dame.’ I said as I stood on a dining chair table.” — Okay, so the technical aspects here need some work. Punctuation of dialogue, it’s either a chair or a table but not both. However, this little snippet works for me as something both grandiose and embarrassing, a little antique and a little mortifying. I like it–I think it could be really sexy.

    “God mad[e] the heavens strike me down if I moan out tonight.” — And this was my favorite sentence in the whole page. It’s fantastic–simple and powerful.

  16. Meljean
    May 04, 2014 @ 14:45:42

    @Linda: Freud would have a field day with “I closed my vagina to make it bite.” Stay in school, kid.

    Aw, I really liked that line. It’s like something out of a Sylvia Plath poem.

  17. Kate Sherwood
    May 04, 2014 @ 14:50:19

    I agree with the last two posters, without changing my mind about my own post…

    I think there IS an interesting voice, here. It’s buried DEEP, but it’s there, and I saw it in a lot of the same places the previous posters did. And it’s not a white-bread, university-educated, traditional voice, which is cool.

    The writing needs a LOT of work before the voice can be heard and appreciated, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there. So, author… the work may be worth it, if you’re willing to put in some serious effort.

  18. Sandypo
    May 04, 2014 @ 16:29:30

    This is horrific writing. I couldn’t tell if the woman was supposed to be some kind of poor, bayou dweller who had no knowledge of grammar or if the author only had a 1st grade education but either way it’s truly awful. Don’t quit your day job, whoever you are.

  19. QC
    May 04, 2014 @ 17:41:06

    We all start somewhere. This submission needs a ton of work, but I also sense a voice in this writing. I suggest that the author take classes, learn the nuts and bolts of writing, so that he/she can get the story onto the page.

  20. Shiloh Walker
    May 04, 2014 @ 18:28:40

    Okay, I wasn’t going to comment on this…but I changed my mind. Here we go. There are some interesting visuals in the writing. Visuals that could be made into something worth reading, but to the writer who wrote them, first you have to learn the mechanics of writing.

    Everybody starts somewhere, and you did start. It’s an old bit…you can fix bad writing, but you can’t fix a blank page. You don’t have a blank page, so if you’re serious, take a few things to heart…you HAVE to learn the mechanics. First you need to get a handle on basic grammar–

    I think I am going out of my mind. It has been seven years I felt the heat of man.

    His lips tasting the icing of cake off mines, his weight lying on top of me and my ass pressed against his balls in doggy style.

    You’re pushing too many things in here and missing words.

    Break this up.

    Personally, unless that cake is crucial? I don’t see how we need it. It’s jarring and since they are going right into the hot and heavy, this scene is already jarring enough so I think we can lose it. Take it or leave it, by doggy-style doesn’t really evoke sexy thoughts, IMO. Makes me think of the song “DOING IT DOGGY STYLE” and I’d laugh if I came across it while I reading.

    I think I am going to go out of my mind. It’s been seven years since I felt the heat of a man.

    I can feel his weight atop me, my ass pressed up against his balls.

     From here, we go to this…
    “ Hell I got to do something about sweet punishment.” I thought that night.

    You need commas and if she’s thinking it, use italics to show that…don’t tell us she’s thinking. Too many tags draw people out of the story.

     

    Hell, I have to do something about sweet punishment.

    The italics let the reader know she’s thinking, and you can drop the tags.  Too many tags make things choppy and we don’t need the ‘that night’ either.  She’s not thinking it tomorrow, because we’re reading about what’s happening in the now.

    I was trying to sustain from sex that night until he had given me my ring as promise. It made all the sense in the world to make him wait even if I was not a virgin. I waited this long since my ex lover. Plus I did not want to be another girl on his long list we talked in private about.

    Several things here… if he’s snug up against her butt, and she’s that out of her mind, is she really thinking about…

    a) a ring and her ex-lover, because if so, that doesn’t say much about the guy she is with

    b) is she withholding sex to get him to marry her because that speaks to her character and can lead to sticky situations…

    c) again, on grammar and now, tenses-past and present.

    I was trying to sustain from sex that night until he had given me my ring as promised. It made all the sense in the world to make him wait even if I’m a virgin (your tenses all over the place but this tightens things a little.  Now, we have no backstory, but if you’re serious with this, you need to make the reader understand why it makes sense to make him wait…and then why she gives in so easy…does she love him that much?  Is he that hot?  Nothing in this scene convinced me of that.  It was written just to make them have sex and it wasn’t very appealing sex  Writing sex isn’t easy, so you need to work this out, and figure out the sex angle, too.)

    I’ve waited this long since my ex lover. Plus I did not want to be another girl on his long list we talked in private about. is she really think about this when she’s getting it on with him? If I’m with a guy and these are the things I’m thinking about? He’s probably not that good at what he’s doing)

    Somebody else remarked on this…

    There were times a man would not even buy me a birthday card.

    It’s a good line. It’s simple, it cuts to the heart of the matter. That’s what good writing can do.

    Emmanuel place his not so hard any more cock in my anus. The more he went in the more harder he grew.

    “ I told you I only tried it once.” I remarked as he got harder.

    Slowing pushing it in and out. He began to kiss me on my back. I stayed laying on my stomach while his kisses flowered me from my neck to my butt. I felt his wet tongue touch my wet pussy. He made me hotter as he licked on my pearl tongue. Emmanuel stuck his cock in my pussy once more. This time he grind-ed it over and over.
    I tried to keep my woman live ego that I could handle a man and not moan like most women who say they can handle any size.

    Now THIS is why you need to read more erotica, and if floats your boat, do what Ridley said, seek out some reading material on literotica. Porn, plain and simple, isn’t my deal, but good writing is good writing, regardless of what you’re reading..and, bad writing is bad writing. The thing is, bad writing doesn’t have to stay bad, but you have to figure out WHAT you are writing and what you want to write, and you also need to learn some basics.

    Anal without lubrication isn’t wise and it also isn’t fun. It’s painful, period. If he’s a huge as you’ve made him out to be, it can also be dangerous, because she’s going to tear, and that’s not sexy.

    There’s also a big safety issue, which I’ll touch on, plus some very weird sexual contortionist acts going on. It’s like he’s able to give her anal and go down on her at the same time. Which isn’t possible unless he’s not human and has some weird sort of anatomy.

    Emmanuel put the head of his cock against my anus. He wasn’t as hard as he had been. ( or something…not so hard any more just doesn’t work…that is acrobatic even to read and takes the reader out of the story, which isn’t what a writer wants. Good grammar doesn’t just look better…it makes the story easier to read. )

    “ I told you I’ve only done this once.” He was getting even harder. (if she’s only done once, she’s going to be uncomfortable and he either needs to prepare her or he’s just an asshole, period.) He started to slowly push it in and out, kissing me on my back.

    As I lay on my stomach, his kisses flowered me (this is nice imagery) from my neck to my butt (this isn’t possible. He can’t be flexible enough to kiss her butt while he’s giving her anal and then he goes on to…—>. I felt his wet tongue touch my wet pussy.

    He made me hotter as he licked on my pearl tongue (what is a pearl tongue?.

    Emmanuel stuck his cock in my pussy once more. This time he grind-ed it over and over.

    And now…this is why you need to understand anal. This kind of thing can get nasty, and fast. In your situation, you’re setting your heroine up to get sick, and quick. The anus, even if she’s has an enema, is going to have traces of fecal matter-poop, to be blunt. The urethra, where urine comes out, is right next to the vagina, and that opening leads to the bladder, which leads to the kidneys, two of the most important organs in the body.  You DO NOT want to mess those up. Going from anal to vaginal without taking the time to clean up can lead to an urinary tract infection. Not sexy…and an infection from E. Coli (which is found in fecal material) can make a person really, REALLY sick. If it’s untreated, it can lead to a kidney infection. From there? It can get even worse.  Untreated kidney infections can lead to chronic kidney failure and if you don’t know what that means, google it.  It’s not pretty.
    It wouldn’t be grinded. It would be ground.
    I know this, and a lot of the other comments have been harsh. If you want to write, you’ve got a lot to learn and this is just the beginning. You need to learn the basics of proper English and grammar before anything else. Then figure out what you want to write. If you’re going for erotica, learn what erotica is. If you’re going more the porn angle, that’s cool…but learn what that is as well.

    Read a lot.  Write more.  Find some beta readers or a critique partner who’ll be honest with you.   I’m personally not a fan of creative writing courses, but you need to figure out how to structure sentences, so it might be benefit.  You might be able to find a lot of the stuff you need online for free, though, if you look.

    You need to learn some other basics and as lame as some people might think it sounds, sexual safety falls into that realm, anal, condoms, etc.  I’m a nurse and if I read a book with this in it, even polished up and in publishable form, I’d never touch the author again–I have read this kind of thing and it’s on the top of my pet peeves.  And there are LOTS of people in the medical field who read.  I’m not the only nurse who reads erotica, romance…etc.  

    Hope that helps and if you’re serious about writing, good luck.

  21. Shiloh Walker
    May 04, 2014 @ 18:29:37

    The system has determined that I’m a spammer. I think it’s an error. Can somebody find my comment? ;)

  22. Kaetrin
    May 04, 2014 @ 19:07:28

    What the heck does “I went around with my vagina like a hurricane” even mean? She’s spinning on his dick? Seriously?

    This page is all kinds of terrible. Just, nonononononono.

  23. Jane Lovering
    May 05, 2014 @ 05:31:25

    ..and I think ‘sustain’ should be ‘abstain’.

  24. Sheryl
    May 09, 2014 @ 19:22:58

    @Linda:

    Thanks for the comment. I am a female. I haven’t had sex for years.
    I was debating should I write erotica, young readers, or just stick to writing song lyrics.
    Maybe who know just give it up. I am 39.

  25. Sheryl
    May 09, 2014 @ 19:25:55

    I am sorry ladies. I am from the south and black at the same time.
    I went around like a hurricane means going around and around like your grinding.
    You guys are such experts on advice since I am a high boy than you should be a pro in the bed and tell me how you say I lift my pussy up and grind it. I understand if some of you never heard R. Kelly Bump and Grind. Maybe you should check it out on YouTube.

  26. Sheryl
    May 09, 2014 @ 19:28:36

    Thanks for the advice Walker. I am actually taking classes at this time. I hate to say to some of you I just recently took English Composition and I did good with an A. I must say with anal sex if you have cum enough and him you don’t need any jelly. I know I had a lot when I was active.

  27. Sheryl
    May 09, 2014 @ 19:41:23

    Carol McKenzie. WOW. I will tell you my name is Sheryl.
    I guess Nicki Minaj (Ninaj) is sick cause she hard core rap sex and she is barbie.
    I have not met no one who do not like Super Bass. That includes whites, blacks, Hispanic, and Asians and maybe aliens too. If you are a 100 years old… I got the link because I am sure your grandchildren listen to it. Hey little girls went on TV Ellen to rap it . What century do some of you guys live in.
    I know it most be old fashion 10th century if so cause you show don’t know karma sutra.

  28. Sheryl
    May 09, 2014 @ 19:48:58

    As I lay on my stomach, his kisses flowered me (this is nice imagery) from my neck to my butt (this isn’t possible. He can’t be flexible enough to kiss her butt while he’s giving her anal and then he goes on to…—>. I felt his wet tongue touch my wet pussy.

    Yes, while she facing down. I am sorry I might need to draw it for you since you all never had sex but face to face. It simple mean lay on your stomach. The male use his lips to kiss your neck, he move to your back, he keep moving to your lower back, and than he reach your buttock. The male opens her legs while still laying on her stomach. He takes his tongue from out of his mouth and lick the vagina from behind. I mean you so dumb at sex they should wrote sex for dummies and title it just for you. Go listen to partition by Beyonce, than explain to me to do you understand what she said? If not let me know. I worked at a sex clinic with a lot of wild stories and positions you could not write on paper. So please someone give her SEX FOR DUMMIES.

  29. Sheryl
    May 09, 2014 @ 19:58:01

    I’M BLACK PEOPLE.
    It wouldn’t be grinded. It would be ground.

    BUMP AND GRIND

    IT SICK THAT SOME OF YOU NON BLACK WOULD EVEN LISTEN TO LADY GAGA FORGIVE EVEN IF SHE REALLY NEVER TRULY WRITE ALL HER SONGS..
    HOW CAN YOU LISTEN TO DO WHAT YOU WANT TO MY BODY
    AND DON’T KNOW R. KELLY ARE BUMP AND GRIND….
    I KNOW WHITE MUSIC BUT WHEN IT COME DOWN TO RACE IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY.
    I WORKED IN MEDICAL FIELD ALSO. THE DIFFERENCE IS I COME FROM A BLACK SIDE AND NOT A WHITE SIDE TO MY STORY. SORRY FOR THINKING THAT ALL HUMANS WAS THE SAME AND SINCE RICH MEN GO ON THE OTHER SIDE TO CHEAT WITH NOT SO RICH WOMEN… LIKE RN’S THAT SEX WAS SEX.

  30. Jane
    May 09, 2014 @ 21:06:55

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