First Page: Unpublished Manuscript – New Adult
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I knew that he saw the sweat glistening on my forehead and beading between my breasts. Romeo smirked when I pulled the zipper of my sweatshirt up higher, and wrapped my arms around myself to ward off the chill.
“Ma, I think your body might be confused right now. It’s gorgeous out here and you’re sweating while them goosebumps all fucking over ya’.” Romeo laughed, knowing damn well why my body was reacting like this.
I hated my drug dealer. The sound of his deep voice was slightly slurred from having a few half gram bags of heroin tucked in his mouth, between his cheek and teeth. Dealers do this often so they could swallow the drugs and get rid of the evidence if the cops ever showed up.
“Don’t call me Ma, my name’s Gabby, and quit the games, Romeo. You know exactly why I’m like this right now. I’m hurting and I need your help,” I snapped.
“Get some dough and you can fix that shit right now,” he told me and crossed his arms over his chest, signaling the end of the conversation.
I shook my head, “I don’t have any money. Can’t you front me?”
“No dough, no dope. You know that shit, G. And don’t act like you don’t already owe Cahko for that finger. He wants his loot.”
I opened my mouth to protest but dry heaved instead. The look on Romeo’s face was one of pure disgust even though he dealt with people like me on a daily basis. I wiped the spit from the corners of my mouth with the back of my sleeve and looked at Romeo with pleading eyes. “I’ll do anything Romeo,” I started lowering the zipper of my hoodie despite my chills. I knew nothing was sexy about a dope sick girl, but his nasty ass couldn’t get pussy any other way.
Romeo’s eyes lit up with understanding, but held a hint of uncertainty. “I don’t want your ass puking on me when you’re giving me some brains.”
I fought back the revulsion I felt about touching this dude, and focused on the prize. “Maybe you can hook me up with a little shot before we get started? And when we’re done, you can give me that other bag.”
After a brief moment of hesitation, Romeo scanned the area and nodded his head for me to follow him. I struggled to keep up as we weaved our way in and out of the Pine Projects. My heart was pounding and my body was screaming, knowing that it was about to get the release it’s been begging for. Even though I’m yearning for that shot containing the power to fix my problems, my conscience always found a way to rear its ugly head and try to show me reason. Even with all the fucked up things I’ve endured throughout my life, there’s still that part of my brain that shouts what I’m doing is wrong. I don’t have to do this.
But if I didn’t get high, I’d be dealing with things a lot worse than screwing my dope dealer. Heroin blocked out the terrified screams of my friends before their last breath was stolen. It hid the images of sadistic and cruel men hovering above me, men that were supposed to be my friends. It’s as if there was a never ending list of all the things that heroin could dull the pain of. When my choices were between constant pain and suffering versus about fifteen minutes of letting this man have his way with me, I chose being this dude’s toy. It would just be added to the list of things heroin blocks from my mind.