Oct 18 2008
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Misogyny has been very, very good to me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a woman hating woman by any means. I love my sex (although not in the bedroom sense: totally hetero in that arena) but I’d even go so far as to say that I believe in most things, excepting upper body strength and math, women are generally superior to men.
So how has misogyny been my friend? Well, have you ever heard of Jackson Horner? Yes, the same author whose Dodge Hart series is the biggest load of feminist bashing, Neanderthal male propagandizing piece of crap to ever find a publisher. It might come as a surprise to learn: I am Jackson Horner.
Actually I’m Terri Mitchell, 34 years old, single, and aspiring romance author. At least that’s what everybody thinks. The truth is that Dodge Hart has paid for my house, my car (although it is a used BMW) and he continues to pay my way. If the teenage boys and potbellied armchair warriors knew that it was estrogen and not testosterone that drives Dodge, there would be a severe decline in my standard of living.
I really, really like my standard of living.
So on an ordinary Wednesday I expected nothing more than to sit in my kitchen drinking endless cups of coffee and browsing blogs on the internet. I knew I really should start working on Dodge’s new adventure but I’d grown a little tired of Dodge. It’s hard to sustain a relationship with a man under the best of conditions but Dodge wanting to take over Washington, DC is hard to get my mind around.
The doorbell is a wonderful excuse to momentarily run away from my laziness based guilt. And when I’m lucky it’s the UPS man and I get the pleasure of brown shorts and nice legs. UPS really is the best company in the world. I once suggested that they should use a new slogan: We Deliver – Your Fantasies, but the UPS driver I suggested it to just said "Sign here ma’am" and otherwise ignored me.
It wasn’t UPS at my stoop but rather a nice package in khakis and a button down shirt (top buttons open just enough to give a glimpse of chest hair), navy blue jacket stretching nicely over broad shoulders and a scowl just scowly enough to make his Prince Charming face appear much more Shrekish.
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