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The following is an explicit excerpt. Please do not click if this will make you uncomfortable.
I wish I could live forever in this one moment. I’d like to burn his face in my mind: the twist of his expression as he’s lost in the release of painful need. I flex my fingers a slight bit more and his grunt is music.
My hand is buried in his ass. I see other couples like us, strangers meeting in this house and sharing our secret. We are all undressed and the erections look like party favors.
For a brief moment I think of Jimmy and my joy staggers into pain. We all have our painful pleasures; thinking of Jimmy is mine. Knowing how much he’d hate me being at a fisting party, a party full of strangers sharing their bodies in this way, he’d move away from me with his arms folded across his chest to protect himself.
Jimmy lives his life protecting himself from me.
My partner has a yellow ponytail that swings over his shoulder and grazes the barbell through his nipple. I prefer men who are darker, I like Latinos and black men. This pale blonde man whose ass has swallowed my hand is pasty and much too white for my interests.
I hope he can control his muscles when he cums. The neophytes can sprain your wrist or entire arm when they shoot. The dangers of enjoying having your fist up some dude’s ass. Maybe I could write a column about that. Maybe I could write a whole damned book.
I really wish Jimmy hadn’t left.
I wish I could enjoy myself more.