Apr 24 2006
Dear Ms. Bruce:
The anthologies tell the individual stories of three debutantes who survived a tough love camp called Camp Wilderness. They go on to form a PI firm called Woman Tek. There is ALOT of backstory missing. No explanation as to how this business started and really, where these women come from. I recognize that you have a word count obligation and so I let that issue go. I would like to note that there seemed to be a lot of white space in this book and that you possibly could have gotten more story in if you really wanted to. Sorry, this is me letting the issue go.
Story no. 1 was Wicked Widow pairng up bad girl Nan Harrington-Scott with possible hit man Damon Connolly. (Oh, and this was a problem throughout your book. Your heroines are virtually all bad girls. There wasn’t a huge personality difference between the three of them. They were a bit interchangeable. All former debutantes. All man killers. All sexual adventurous. Back to the plot. Nan’s agency is hired by the wife of a billionaire because the wife believes the billionaire’s life is in danger. Damon is also watching the billionaire or should be but is actuallhy spending most of his time watching Nan. I can’t remember whether Nan was a widow or not. The sex was pretty hot and there seemed to be an equal pairing between the hero and heroine which the last two did not. This would be a B-
Story no. 2. A Man With A Past. Total snoozer. Don’t know quite how I finished because I really could care less about these two characters despite this story having one of my fave themes: young loves reuniting. Geena, the owner of the PI Agency, had a teen age love who left her behind when he went on the lam to avoid being prosecuted for his uncle’s death. The teenage love Cabot Vandermeer II comes back because his other uncle is about to declare Cab dead so that the living uncle can inherit the millions that the dead uncle left to Cab. The suspense story made no sense at all. Cab was alerted to the fact that his uncle was doing this by his cousin (the live uncle’s son). Some forgotten, but important, papers lead to the discovery of who actually killed the uncle but in such a manner as to be totally improbable and inconsistent with what little story was on the pag.
Story no. 3. Love Bites. A little better than the previous story. It features Delia, recently dumped by her philandering husband, losing 30 pounds and out to vamp up a millionaire who is suspected of killing his mistress. The problem in this book is that the millionaire sounds like a whining stooge. Everyone wants a piece of him. Boo Hoo. He soothes his battered soul by having drinks at a local pub where no one wants anything from him or cares how much money he has. They accept him for who he is. Whatevuh. Don’t care (and btw – totally been done before). I didn’t think the sex was so much pity sex between Delia and Ben as much as it was that I couldn’t drum up much emotion to figure out what kind of sex they were having. C
Your heroines are quite strong; but in making them physically, sexually competent, you have emasculated the heroes. I don’t think that you need to do that. I thought when I was reading the second story that we were seeing a role reversal. The hesitant, uncertain and almost timid character being handled by the stronger, more secure, more proactive character. Usually it is the female that is the former and the male that is the latter, but just because there was role reversal didn’t make the tale satsifying. You needn’t make one character strong at the expense of the other. It is infinitely more delicious when you cannot tell who is the seducer and who is the seduced. In saying that we want strong heriones, we don’t want them stronger than the heroes – just as strong as the heroes. I do think I am going to give you another try but probably not at these trade paper prices.