Oct 7 2006
Dear Ms. Drake:
Your novella has a little more going on in terms of characterization but again because of the length, 4558 words, there isn’t much more to this story. Arielle is a witch who works for the FBI. Her partner is Jackson, a vampire. They are sent out to investigate demon activity in the swamp. During this short 24 hour period, Arielle and Jackson discover their latent love for each other and defeat demons. But this is nothing more than a chapter in a longer story. There is an excerpt for another Jackson/Arielle tale that picks up where this one left off. Perhaps if you were doing a serialization, it would be a better story as you would spend some time fleshing out details of how long the two were partners, what the latent attraction was, the world building and so forth. In 4558 words, however, this story lacks any real meat, or heat for that matter. D+.