Romance, Historical, Contemporary, Paranormal, Young Adult, Book reviews, industry news, and commentary from a reader's point of view

Thursday Afternoon Haiku Moment: Passion by Lisa Valdez

First DA Request
You guys are killing me here
Haiku seppuku

Cover made me think
That Passion was Spanish gal.
Nope. English Redhead.

042520397201lzzzzzzzStory starts with bang
No really, hero bangs her
After public grope

Valdez likes words that
Make me cringe: quim & cunt. I
Titter like schoolgirl

Hero talks dirty
They have nasty public sex
I am on page…ten?

Her: Call me Passion
Him: I’m Mark, like the Bible
Me: Puke barf puke

Before we go on
Can we discuss Passion’s dual
chambered vagina?

Hero pushes in…
then… further in? Makes me
Check MY lady-parts.

I have had sex, too.
Last time I checked? One
Chamber vagina.

They repeatedly
Have public sex behind screen
It seems so, so wrong.

Book is like train wreck
PASSION, wish I could quit you
But I still read on.

Goes downhill from here
They have sex and sex and sex
Oh plot, where art thou?

Oh wait, here it is
Sandwiched in middle of book
Hero is blackmailed

Mark needs heirs for line
Passion is ‘barren’. Romance codespeak
for pregnancy plot.

He is to marry her cousin
Oh noes! Cue up one hundred
pages of emo

This is a romance
So all is well that ends well
(and sequel bait too)

My over-all thoughts?
Valdez is talented…but
There is too much skeeze.

Hero is a dirty talker
He tells Passion that she wants it
And how, where…and why.

He is less sexy
And more like a date rapist
And Passion? Doormat.

Creepy scenes in book?
Far too plentiful to count
I have not the words

Like when Mark tells her
That he can fill a shotglass
With c!um? TMI.

Or how about the time
She tells him she has played with
her sisters’ girl parts?

Or maybe the time
when she begins to lactate
& he watches with lust?

And then he is so
Turned on, they make love again
Baby pinned ‘tween them

All that is in book
Not making this shit up, folks
Couldn’t if I tried.

Book leaves me speechless
All thoughts burned out by page 50
I feel dirty now.

Was going with “C”
But is an insult to all
C grades. Sorry. D.

This book can be purchased in mass market from Amazon. No ebook format kids.

59 Comments

  1. Corrine
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 17:06:49

    :O I am speechless!

    I had the complete opposite reaction to this book.

    ReplyReply

  2. Miss_Thing
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 17:26:38

    Oh my WORD. I…yeah. Thanks for reading this so I don’t have to? I like my erotica, don’t get me wrong, but I like it to be erotic, not gross!

    ReplyReply

  3. Jia
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 17:30:51

    It’s just one of those days, isn’t it?

    ReplyReply

  4. Sunita
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 17:30:51

    Now *this* is taking one for the team. Not only reading the thing, but then reliving it while composing the haiku, which is so evocative that I too am reliving my experience reading the book. Or at least as much of it as I could get through before I was totally skeeved out. And yes, I read (and like) erotica. This felt like neither fish nor fowl nor good red herring.

    But people are still waiting for Patience. De gustibus and all that.

    ETA: I think I forgot to say: Amazing, awesomely good haiku.

    ReplyReply

  5. Janine
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 17:32:13

    I have had sex, too.
    Last time I checked? One
    Chamber vagina.

    ROTFL!

    ReplyReply

  6. LAmonkeygirl
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 17:39:37

    The scene that squicked me out the most is when Mark is sitting with his equally-hung brother, talking about how hot Passion is, and they both get chubbies, then talk about them.

    Plus, they had some kind of childhood rhyme about finding women who could handle their enormous schlongs.

    I remember reading, perhaps on this blog or another, as to whether or not readers excuse certain behavior from the hero because we know that he will ultimately be the hero and his actions are thus contextualized as budding luurrrve. In the case of this book, the ostensible hero gropes a stranger, then screws her in a semi-public place. Remind me how this is heroic?

    ReplyReply

  7. Bonnie
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 18:02:24

    I read this book quite a while ago, and ultimately, thought it was an okay read.

    As I recall, about halfway through, the plot suddenly appeared, and I really started to enjoy it. The first half? Eh…

    And, yeah, the duel-chambered vagina? Just no. Sorry, but that whole thing sounded painful. Not erotic or sexy at all.

    There’s supposed to be a sequel, but so far… nothing. Valdez has had some issues with the haters of this book. Or something or other. Dunno… I gave up.

    ReplyReply

  8. Jessica G.
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 18:13:24

    ROFL!!!!

    I think this is my most favorite haiku ever!

    But seriously, she had a two chambered bajingo?

    ReplyReply

  9. Darlynne
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 18:15:08

    Haiku seppuku

    This is priceless. Did you use a sword or a pen? Thank you for absolutely making my day. I’ll be reading this haiku forever.

    And let me just add: the comments are equally snort-worthy. DA readers rock.

    ReplyReply

  10. Jill Sorenson
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 18:16:01

    Baby pinned between them?! Hahaha…no. Really? Wow. Still want to read it. Great haiku as always.

    DA has had me laughing all day.

    ReplyReply

  11. Cheryl McInnis
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 18:18:51

    Dear Lord! EEEEWWWW!

    Definitely the best Haiku ever…I think you summed everything up nicely.
    I’ll be sending you some bleach for your brain to erase the memory of this book, LOL!

    ReplyReply

  12. Janine
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 18:19:00

    But seriously, she had a two chambered bajingo?

    I think there was a two-chambered vagina in one of Robin Schone’s books, too.

    ReplyReply

  13. Janine
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 18:20:21

    I would probably give this book a C+ or B-, myself. I thought it was fun in an over-the-top way.

    ReplyReply

  14. Bonnie
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 18:24:52

    Actually, I don’t think she had a two-chambered whooha, but rather it was the way he maneuvered is enormous dong over and around her uterus. Or something.

    It was gross. Really gross. Way too much information.

    ReplyReply

  15. Elly Soar
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 18:55:12

    see that’s funny b/c i absolutely loved this book, with the exception of the whole pregnancy/cousin engagement plot…and I thought the next book sounded even better! of couse i could do without the giant penises that seem to be everywhere these days, but i mostly just ignored that stuff. everyone’s got their own tastes i guess.

    ReplyReply

  16. Lorraine
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 19:04:46

    Hate to admit it, but I find this funny, in a boys will be boys, kind of way.

    Like when Mark tells her
    That he can fill a shotglass
    With c!um? TMI.

    *Can’t help it…I have a juvenile sense of humor sometimes*

    Or how about the time
    She tells him she has played with
    her sisters' girl parts?

    But sister incest…ANY incest, YUCK!

    As always, another fabulous Haiku…thanks!

    ReplyReply

  17. Miki
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 19:18:30

    If any post on your blog deserves a *LOL*, this one definitely does! I’m just glad I wasn’t eating or drinking while reading this, or I would have snorted it all over the computer monitor.

    Oh, by the way – I believe the “double vagina” business was really her way of saying he was SOOOOOOO long that he was pushing beyond the cervical entrance.

    yeah – ick

    ReplyReply

  18. Sayuri
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 19:21:14

    Best. Hiaku. Ever.

    And now I’m off to find this and read it cause man, I just love a train wreck.

    ReplyReply

  19. Scarlett
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 19:28:03

    Great haiku! Hilarious.

    And quite accurate . . . except that I actually liked this book, even with some of the squickiness of the scenes. It’s definitely not for everyone.

    But she didn’t exactly “play” with her sister’s lady parts. There was no incest going on there. The book is pretty squicky at times, but not quite THAT squicky, heh. And no double chambered vagina either, although that’s a funny idea.

    ReplyReply

  20. Victoria Dahl
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 19:36:51

    Yeah, I’ve got to read it now too, damn it. *headsmack*

    ReplyReply

  21. Bonnie
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 19:44:43

    heh… see, now everyone’s got to read it.

    :P

    ReplyReply

  22. Daphne
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 20:20:54

    Oh, writer of my favorite haiku EVAH, thank you so much for indulging my request. Words fail to express how much I LURRRRRRVE you!

    Remind me to buy you a drink if we ever meet…

    ReplyReply

  23. Jana J. Hanson
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 20:46:03

    A hysterically and well-written haiku. Oh my goodness…so funny…

    ReplyReply

  24. Jia
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 20:46:45

    Oh, by the way – I believe the “double vagina” business was really her way of saying he was SOOOOOOO long that he was pushing beyond the cervical entrance.

    That’s what I thought too. Which, um, OW.

    ReplyReply

  25. Kaetrin
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 21:53:25

    Excellent Haiku!

    Am curious about the book (a la Victoria Dahl) but not, I think, enough to read it. Doesn’t look like it’s for me.

    BTW, who are you Guest Reviewer? Your talent shines but you are invisible….

    ReplyReply

  26. Lorelie
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 07:27:11

    I believe the “double vagina” business was really her way of saying he was SOOOOOOO long that he was pushing beyond the cervical entrance.

    My ladyfingers just cringed.

    And yet, I’m 99% positive I will now have to read this book. Damn you, brilliant haiku writer!

    ReplyReply

  27. Lorelie
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 07:43:18

    I meant lady-softness, dammit.

    *sigh*

    *goes searching for more coffee*

    ReplyReply

  28. Kathy
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 08:54:17

    Well, for the second morning in a row you have started it right with unmitigated laughter. Priceless. Thank You!

    ReplyReply

  29. Sherry Thomas
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 08:56:41

    In AAR’s annual poll for 2005 releases, PASSION had a prominent place. It was:

    Most Luscious Love Story
    Guiltiest Pleasure
    Purple-est Prose
    and Worst Read (in a tie with WHAT DO YOU SAY TO A NAKED ELF)

    A book that elicits strong reactions, non?

    ReplyReply

  30. shuzluva
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 09:01:38

    Hilarious.

    I remember reading this book, and being surprised at the rapidity of the sexual encounters. Ya’ll know I love me a good erotic story, but I recall thinking this fell down along the way, partly due to the hero’s lack of heroism, partly due to the high squick level of a few of the encounters. But I had totally forgotten about this until another reader mentioned it:

    they had some kind of childhood rhyme about finding women who could handle their enormous schlongs.

    I can’t stop laughing. Thank you, all!

    ReplyReply

  31. Randi
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 09:05:06

    Best. Haiku. Ever. EVER!

    This is the way to start a Friday.

    ReplyReply

  32. bam
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 11:04:57

    wait a minute… can you go past the cervix? I thought the cervix is supposed to protect your inner girl parts from penile invaders and other such things going deep inside and stabbing your ovaries or something. BAD CERVIX!

    *shudder*

    Also.

    ReplyReply

  33. BevQB
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 12:56:28

    Go Go Gadget bits
    On a man is a given…
    But Lady parts grow?

    Can this be the book
    Whose sequel formed a yearning
    Throughout Romanceland?

    Maybe it was found
    Stuffed in an old trunk somewhere
    But no sequel found.

    ReplyReply

  34. Nifty
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 13:18:09

    Sex without a plot?
    Can’t a girl just be horny?
    Bring it on, I say.

    I haven’t read this book, but this review has made me curious. I’ll maybe have to check it out. My problem is that when I’m reading for sex — there! I admit it! I read erotica for the sex! — the “plot” and “romance” tend to tick me off and get in the way. And likewise when I’m reading for plot and romance, too much sex is annoying. I have a really hard time finding “erotic romance” that works for me. It never really satisfies on either score. Why does sex always have to be rationalized by love? Can’t a girl just be horny?

    ReplyReply

  35. Has
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 14:35:14

    I admit I loved this book! And it was definitely a guilty pleasure LOL
    But aside of the squicky nursing scene at the end and double chamber vag, I think it more of pushing the cervix to one side although I dont think that is possible o__O (Robin Schone definitely had a similar scene.)
    The second half of the book was miles better, but I also enjoyed the sex scenes and I dont think it was purpley prose filled but it was definitely more graphic from what I remembered.

    First half of the book is more sexually focussed but then the characters link and connect with sex then the emotional aftermath is dealt in the second half. And according to an interview with Lisa in the sequels – all the guys have big ding dongs albeit different shapes :D

    ReplyReply

  36. Trish
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 14:54:59

    I chuckled over the haiku and I also enjoyed the book.

    ReplyReply

  37. Debra
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 15:05:14

    The book was much more clever than the haiku

    ReplyReply

  38. Sue T
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 15:06:36

    I’m constantly amazed by the fact that people are driven by these reviews to actually go and read the drivel. So, in other words, you all are contributing to drivel being published since you get a review and decide “I’ve just got to read this!” Even the other astoundingly bad story that received an F has people so excited about how bad it is they just have to go and get it.

    Damn, I want to get a sucky story pulished, have DA review it and give me a D or F (love you DA ladies by the way – this is in no way addressed to you) and watch my royalties sky-rocket. Maybe I’ll submit to Ravenous.

    Yep, being snarky and sarcastic but want to say that for everyone who wants to go out and spend money on a book that stinks so bad – hey, thanks a bunch for perpetuating bad writing and bad plots – this is why they keep getting published – you all keep buying them despite how bad they are.

    Do I sound frustrated? You bet I am. I (and I’m sure others are)working my ass off to write a quality story with great characters, and God help me a plot, and yet, the more awful one is, the more comments and excitement it generates.

    ReplyReply

  39. Gail Dayton
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 15:28:56

    Do I sound frustrated? You bet I am. I (and I'm sure others are)working my ass off to write a quality story with great characters, and God help me a plot, and yet, the more awful one is, the more comments and excitement it generates.

    But–you will notice even here–some of these people liked the book, and it won a lot of votes as a luscious love story at AAR–as well as worst book.

    Awful is in the eye of the beholder, and obviously not everyone agreed with this guest reviewer.

    Valdez thought she was writing a quality story with great characters, and her publisher must have thought so too, or they wouldn’t have bought it and published it. I’m sure she didn’t sit down and say “I’m going to write an awful book that squicks people out.”

    That said, I didn’t like it much either. I have a relatively low squick threshhold about a lot of things…

    ReplyReply

  40. Scarlett
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 15:35:02

    Sue T:

    I get what you are saying, but Passion was an enormously popular book when it was published a few years ago. And not because it was “bad” (although many people think so), but a lot of people really LOVE this book and are anxiously awaiting the sequel (Patience). Passion made the AAR Top 100 romances of all time poll so it has a lot of fans out there.

    The first half of the book is straight up erotica and the second half is old-fashioned weepy romance. The people who bought it thinking it was regular romance were disgusted by the graphic sex and the people who wanted plain erotica were annoyed by the sappy romance. And some people just thought the “moving cervix” stuff was just weird and enjoyed the book anyway. Or not. It evokes strong reactions all around.

    ReplyReply

  41. Nifty
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 15:36:12

    I'm constantly amazed by the fact that people are driven by these reviews to actually go and read the drivel. So, in other words, you all are contributing to drivel being published since you get a review and decide “I've just got to read this!” … but want to say that for everyone who wants to go out and spend money on a book that stinks so bad – hey, thanks a bunch for perpetuating bad writing and bad plots – this is why they keep getting published – you all keep buying them despite how bad they are.

    Sue T: While I can sympathize with your frustration, I have to say that your post comes off as unbelievably arrogant and more than a little petulant and whiny. Readers and reviewers are individuals, with individual likes and dislikes. Just because this book didn’t work for the Guest Reviewer doesn’t mean that it WON’T work for another reader…or several other readers. One person’s “drivel” is another person’s “good book” and all that. This reviewer disliked the book and gave it a D. Over on AAR, they reviewed it and gave it a B. Am I supposed to believe, then, that one review is RIGHT while the other review is WRONG? And who gets to make that kind of decision for the masses?

    I also get the impression that you’re blaming readers for your current professional standing. I don’t know who you are, so I have no idea if you’ve sold lots of books…or no books at all. But blaming readers for your successes or failures is just silly. All you can do is write the best book you can and hope for the best. Period.

    ReplyReply

  42. Sue T
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 15:39:55

    Gail, I definitely agree with you that it did receive good comments and her publisher liked it and I’m happy for her. Maybe it is great but not for the reviewer and like you, I have a very low squick threshhold especially about sex so it wouldn’t appeal to me. Different strokes for different folks is why we have so many stories.

    Besides, having been in it for over 10 years, I know this business is HUGELY subjective. These aren’t my frustations. Well, okay, not ALL of my frustrations :D.

    My frustation and aggravation is those above who were “thrilled” by how awful the book sounded and yet their response is to go plunk down money (maybe some – I realize there are libraries) just so they can see how awful it is. Even as they cringed, they talked about going and buying it. One mentioned she just loves a good train wreck, another said her ladyfingers cringed but now she has to go get it despite all that. That is my issue. Now, if they wanted to go read it because there are others who loved it and they might, that’s different. But to want to read it because someone said it sucked….

    ReplyReply

  43. Sue T
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 15:46:45

    Thanks Scarlett, I’m with you and as I followed up with Gail, it’s not whether the book was truly good or bad – the enjoyment is in the eye of the beholder. It’s just simply that even those who laughed or decried at the prose are eager to go out and buy it.

    Nifty – I might sound petulant. Quite possible – I won’t argue with you on that. And you bet, to some extent, I’m blaming readers – myself including since I’m first and foremost a reader and lover of romance. We are the ones who buy erotic, vampires, werewolves, urban fantasy that sounds all the same etc. so publishers keep buying it. Jane did a write up about how paranormals are all starting to sound the same – she’s correct. That’s how readers contribute to it – we keep buying them. But do they decide my career? Not 100% because I agree with what you said – I need to write the best book I can. However, it’s just as “silly” to say we readers have little effect on a writer’s career – readers most certainly contribute to a writer’s success or failure or why have readers.

    ReplyReply

  44. Has
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 16:17:26

    I think like what Nifty and the others said sums up what I think- Yep I am one of the ones who enjoyed this book but I can see why and understand how it can squick out other readers- but in my opinion it was definitely not as bad as other books I have read or heard about. But reading and reviewing is subjective :)

    I am not a huge fan of Harlequins and they are definitely formulaic but thats not to say there are few gems out there – just like Urban Fantasy right now yep it might look there is a glut of the same old. But I think the problem with the genre is that many authors are joining in the bandwagon and I think its expected that there is going to be alot of that right now. But that is not to say there isnt books/series out there which readers will enjoy. I primarily read UF because its my favourite genre- my main gripe is that some books are UF lite and its a romance disguised as one or vise versa. But that isnt to say I am not a fan of romance its just because I dont like the weak worldbuilding because it feels like ‘lets add vamps and weres and call it an UF/paranormal’ – I want more detail and thought into that.
    But I think with UF right now readers are starting to see this. But romance is a wonderful genre because its one of the few that is able to combine with other genres and subgenres – I am hearing there is going to be more steampunk out in the year which is great because its definitely a change of pace from the usual contemporary/futuristic or fantasy setting.

    Good books will always rise to the top but there will always be someone who disagrees on how good or how bad a book is but thats fun because if we had the truly same old, same old then its something to worry about.

    In the case with Lisa Valdez- I think its a case of bad timing. I think her book came out just when erotic romance was just starting to become mainstream. There are more squicky stuff in Elloras Cave books than what actually happens in this book, and she got a bad backlash. Again its more about marketing and expectations- looking at that cover you expect more of a mainstream historical romance and readers who didn’t expect that created a love/hate thing. If the book was published much later, I doubt it would have got that reaction I think.

    ReplyReply

  45. Nifty
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 16:56:23

    However, it's just as “silly” to say we readers have little effect on a writer's career – readers most certainly contribute to a writer's success or failure or why have readers.

    Of course. This is obviously true. I guess what I meant, though, is that there are lots of elements that go into the making of a Good Book. Writing alone — plot, characterization, technical skills, etc. — isn’t necessarily going to guarantee a spot on the best-seller lists or a prized place in the hearts of romance readers everywhere. Timing, trends, word of mouth, the alignment of the planets in the universe…all that plays a role. And since most writers are probably not blessed with precognition, all they can do is do is pour their hearts and talent and efforts into their manuscript and hope for the best.

    I do understand the concept of “voting with one’s dollars.” I do it all the time. (No Janet Daily books for me!) And I CAN understand your frustration. But while ultimately the romance industry is a finite organism, I do get the impression that it makes room for variety of writing styles and reader preferences. Surely it isn’t a case of “this town ain’t big enough for the both of us!”

    There were elements of the review that intrigued me. I’m fine with squicky sex. I’m fine with erotica that doesn’t have a plot. I don’t need a love story to rationalize the desire to get laid. Multi-chambered vaginas is weird and pushing around the cervix sounds painful, but that alone is not going to repel me. And based on my own piqued interest, and the generally positive reviews for this book elsewhere, this is EXACTLY the kind of story for which I’d be willing to put down money to see what it’s all about.

    ReplyReply

  46. DS
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 17:25:47

    I checked Valdez’s web site and it said she had turned in all but the last three chapters of the next book. I’m not interested in her work, past or future– although I do like a good review of a train wreck. However, it will be interesting to see the reaction to the second book. My reaction to the description of the plot of this book was that it was retro rather than ahead of its time.

    No one seems to talk about writer’s block any more, but I assume that was what happened to Ms Valdez.

    ReplyReply

  47. JulieLeto
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 22:01:27

    SueT, I just want to say…I hear you. Loud and clear.

    It’s a tough market right now. Authors ARE competing for consumer dollars and it’s never been so cut-throat as it is now. When we (authors) see readers get excited over a book BECAUSE they think it is bad and they want to have fun reading it, I know that SueT is NOT the only author who thought, “No! No! Don’t spend your money there…buy MY book because it’s good! I swear!” And I don’t think that’s an unnatural response. Or whiny or petulant. Just honest, IMO.

    And this is not a commentary on PASSION. I’ve read GLOWING reviews of this book…this is actually the first bad one I’ve read. But that makes neither opinion right or wrong. Personally, the sex in the bed with the baby was enough to convince me not to read this book…not even from the UBS or library. Ick, ick, ick. But that’s me…I’m sure other people found the scene emotional and lovely. To each her own!

    ReplyReply

  48. Claire
    Mar 07, 2009 @ 10:09:44

    This is the best DA haiku EVER! Too funny! Thank you for making my morning.

    I thought the book was better than the D grade though. The baby in the middle sex is just gross. Yuck.

    ReplyReply

  49. Lorelie
    Mar 07, 2009 @ 11:13:33

    Not entirely sure why I feel a need to defend myself, but here we go. . .

    I do not read books just because they’re awful. I’ve never touched Decadent (or whatever the name of the in ur ass, saving ur life book is) and I’m not in the least tempted by Knight Moves.

    This is not the first review of Passion that I’ve seen. And others, from reviewers I frequently read, are quite praising.

    However – and here’s where the differences in taste and opinion come in – sometimes one person’s POS is another person’s keeper. Quim, cunt, public sex and a dirty talking hero do not bother me. In the least. The baby smushed in the middle of sex, ok, that’s a little creepy. But I’m assuming it’s in the epilogue and I only basically skim those anyway.

    ReplyReply

  50. Jill Sorenson
    Mar 07, 2009 @ 12:40:08

    What Lorelie said. I don’t buy books just to see how bad they are. I’m genuinely interested in reading this. The guest reviewer did an excellent job of explaining what didn’t work for her–and entertaining me!–in haiku form. But I’m more intrigued than dissuaded. Sometimes I’m in the mood for over-the-top erotic with a side of emo.

    ReplyReply

  51. Victoria Dahl
    Mar 07, 2009 @ 13:32:38

    Sorry Sue, but my book money is entertainment money, not save the world money. I like reading squicky sex sometimes. As a matter of fact, sometimes it is a high point of my day to read an insane sex scene and then call my best friend to howl about it for fifteen minutes. I still laugh when I recall sitting at a fancy restuaurant, sipping martinis during the school day, and pondering the ins and outs of centaur sex with my girlfriend. Good times. And WELL WORTH the $10 I spent on that book. Much more valuable in entertainment terms than a well-written “meh” kind of book.

    So yeah, my entertainment spending doesn’t take your career into account. Sorry, but it doesn’t even take MY career into account. And a well-written squick book can be just as wonderful as an awesomely bad movie. I loved that stripper movie with the girl from Saved by the Bell. (Showgirls?) Fantastical!

    All that said, I haven’t read Passion, and don’t know if it’s good, bad, or fantastical. But I might find out soon!

    ReplyReply

  52. katiebabs
    Mar 07, 2009 @ 13:57:01

    We all know about the mile high club in planes, so all I could think of after reading Passion was the museum high club. Overall I enjoyed the read, breast feeding sex and all.

    ReplyReply

  53. rebyj
    Mar 07, 2009 @ 14:05:59

    I can hear the heroine now ” I have TWO VAGINAS and you want to sex my BUTT? ” MEN! Never enough! hehe

    Great Haiku Guest Reviewer!!

    My book buying budget is $25 a month as far as my man knows and I’m very picky about what I purchase. It’s all about my entertainment ! There are authors whose work I support but only as long as their books are good. If that changes my purchasing habit changes.

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  54. Sue T
    Mar 07, 2009 @ 21:58:56

    Sorry Victoria, you are missing my point. I don’t care that you spend your money for entertainment not to save the world. Does anyone reading romance buy their books to save the world? Don’t think so. If you like centaur sex, sex with a baby held between the couple, anal sex, whatever, I don’t care. Read, like, whatever you want. Howl about sex scenes with your girlfriends and be glad that someone writes them for your entertainment.

    You and others buy books for yourselves – I do too. So, keep doing that – those who like over-the-top squick value, sounds like this is the book for you. It’s not for me.

    But bad on those who would simply buy it because someone else gave it such a bad rating – reminds me of the jokes about lawyers chasing accidents and all those who HAVE to slow down or stop near an accident to see if anyone is hurt or dead (and don’t tell me that’s not why we do it).

    This is my last comment on this subject. I’ve enjoyed the debate and have found it interesting – besides I learned another neat word to put in my distasteful vocabularly (squick – that doesn’t even sound good). I do love how DA always brings out passion in others – good or bad.

    Happy reading (whatever your taste!) and writing!

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  55. Victoria Dahl
    Mar 07, 2009 @ 22:10:45

    I guess I don’t understand. Those of us who might buy it because of an awful review… We’re saying the awfulness might make it enjoyable, therefore making it entertainment. *shrug*

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  56. GrowlyCub
    Mar 08, 2009 @ 06:24:57

    Well, gotta say, if I ever find out who SueT is there’s another author for the never-to-be-bought list. Talk about snotty author attitude!

    I haven’t read Valdez and neither earlier discussions nor this review make me want to go out and read this book, but let me just point out that I bet the majority of the folks who said that they might look it up because they gotta see the ‘bad’ will probably buy it used, borrow it from a friend or the library.

    So all that righteous indignation over ‘money for drivel’ going to Valdez sounds very sour grapes.

    Others have already pointed out that just because this reviewer didn’t like it, this doesn’t make it a bad book and any author coming on a reader forum telling readers off for reading and enjoying a book she considers ‘drivel’ is *way* too big for her britches.

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  57. Rachael
    Mar 08, 2009 @ 14:28:04

    THANK YOU!!!

    THANK YOU!!!

    THANK YOU!!!

    Thank you for finally saying what I said when I read it. On Amazon everyone is just soooo impressed and can’t WAIT for her book….

    I even tried to re-read it thinking I had missed it and couldn’t do it.

    Thanks for saying something I’ve been dying to say
    in such a creative way! :P

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  58. JulieB
    Mar 09, 2009 @ 11:01:50

    Okay, I know there has been enough said on this subject, but I did want to put in my 2 cents.

    First, I loved the haiku. It was hysterical and had me laughing out loud at work (and believe me, I had to backpeddle to cover that up).

    Second, I loved the book Passion, and am one of the many fans who is still waiting for Patience, when and if.

    Finally, regardless of how I feel about the book, no one has the right to tell me where I should spend my allotted ‘book money’. I earned it, and if I want to buy dreck (not that I thought the book was dreck), it’s my business. No one else’s. Frustration is understandable, but blaming readers for encouraging “bad” writing is not.

    Apologies for the snark, but keep up the reviews (and haikus)! Thanks.

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  59. Lillian
    Aug 23, 2009 @ 13:13:00

    The Haiku was fricking amazing!!! I thought it was soooo funny :)

    P.S ‘Passion’ is one of my all time favorite books, and I am getting impatient waiting on ‘Patience’. Lisa Valdez’s website hasn’t been updated since January so I decided to google her in case there were tidbits of information out there.

    Yes, ‘Passion’ was borderline erotica. Yes, the hero was less than heroic. But he redeemed himself in the end, and it was a helluva a memorable read :P

    Have fun reading ladies !
    xoxo

    ReplyReply

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