Thursday Afternoon Haiku Moment: Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan
The following is a spoiler filled tale in the spirit of Green Eggs and Ham.
I am a zombie fan!
Zombie fan I am
I do not like that Forest of Hand (and Teeth)!
Do you like
The village and Mary?
I am not being contrary.
This story is not
believable or scary.
Would you like Mary
On the run?
I would not like her
On the run.
I did not find the story fun.
I did not like
The escape plan.
I did not like it, as a zombie fan.
Did you like the love story?
Did you find the ending gory?
I did not like the
I did not like the ending,
I did not find it gory.
I did not like the vagueness
of the undead.
I did not understand what was going
on in Mary’s head.
I did not like her
I did not like
This Forest book.
I did not like it,
Would you like it if the author
A little more scary?
Not in the new place.
Not with zombies in her face.
Not behind the fences please.
Not in a platform in the trees.
I did not like Mary
here or there.
I did not like her anywhere.
I did not like her selfish outlook.
I did not like this Forest book.
Why not? What’s wrong? Everyone else loves it.
It’s the tale of the zombie apocalypse! And how Mary overcomes it!
I did not enjoy it. For others, it might be a hit.
You may like it. Read it again!
Everyone else gave this book a ten!
I cannot like it, you cannot make me.
The world-building made no sense! Hide from zombies in a TREE?
I did not like how Mary was never satisfied
No matter how hard Travis or Harry tried
I did not like that the zombies are hardly shown
We are barely given a severed limb or groan
I did not believe in the world that was given
I did not like how the characters were driven
I did enjoy the appearance of Gabrielle, so bold
But her real story is never $%%&&* told!
On the run! On the run!
What about when the characters go on the run?
They find another village
Weren’t you stunned?
Not in the new town nor in the old!
Not at the ocean! I am still not sold!
I did not like Mary.
I did not like how she insisted that they end her sister-in-law’s life
I did not like how she mooned over her friend Travis.
Even though she was practically Harry’s wife
I did not like the glimpses we were shown
And then never told us about. This made me groan.
If you like this book, you must assume.
Assume some zombies are fast! No reason! Just are!
And that despite all these safe paths, no one ever went that far!
This zombie apocalypse did not feel very ‘apocalypse’ to me.
I did not like it, zombie fan though I be.
Say! What about the zombies?
Weren’t they scary?
Didn’t that part of the book appeal
Even if you didn’t like Mary?
I did not find it super-scary. I thought the characters were not
What do you mean? Did you read every scene?
I read every scene and thought Mary was dense.
If there’s a zombie apocalypse, why stick your hands through the fence?
She doesn’t get hurt. Someone always saves her tail.
I would have let the zombies eat her. TSTL Fail!
You did not like the Forest book?
I did not like it or the vague end.
But I like Ryan’s writing. Or is it too late to defend?
What grade would you give it? This Forest book?
I’d probably give it a D, given my sour outlook.