REVIEW: Take Two by Evangeline Anderson
Dear Ms. Anderson:
This is the third and last book that I have of yours that I read. I bought it back in November when it came out, still thinking about the Dangerous Cravings book. I figured that any excessive porniness that existed in Dirty Girl would surely be stamped out by the editing at Aphrodisia. I also thought that a sci fi erotic romance would be a fun read. I can safely say that every thought I had was wrong, wrong, wrong.
Sadie, the girl with no last name, is a reporter from the planet IO. She wants to make it big as a journalist, but her chauvinistic boss won’t let her investigate any good stories. She uses her vacation days to infiltrate the prostie-borg plant in hopes of writing a career making expose. This is awkward for her because she is raised in the morally upright colony of Goshen by a mean and uncaring Aunt, but her unnatural sexual desires led to her fiance leaving her.
Her plan falls apart when her “Overlook Me” chip starts breaking down (isn’t it convenient that they make a chip like that?) and she is chosen to service two miners. These two miners, though, are really undercover cops from Old Earth’s Vice squad investigating illegal mind transplantations from live individuals into the prostie-borgs. David Blakely and Christian Holtstein are a Tandem Unit based upon a chip that was implanted in their bodies. This chip makes it so that they could read each others emotions and make them a better team. It is defective in that the chip requires a third, a woman, to complete the circuit.
The world building was inconsistent and weak with gaping holes. This futuristic world contains other colonies but Sadie, a denizen of another planet, uses terms like “human interest” in describing the type of pieces she usually works on. When she meets one of Blakely, she immediately recognizes that he has a “Brooklyn” accent despite hardly ever leaving the planet of Goshen. She dreams about winning the Solar Prize but then later refers to it as the Pulitzer Prize. All of the characters say “Goddess” for some reason although there is no explanation of why that particular references is used. Why Old Earth’s Vice Squad would be involved in the making of prostie-borgs on another planet isn’t explained.
The majority of the story focuses on Sadie saying “I’m not that kind of girl” before, during and after multiple sex acts with the boys. The police investigation of the prostie-borg is entirely an after thought and serves only to setup situations in which Sadie MUST couple with the boys in order to save herself or them. It’s a tiresome in its repetition. Sadie is the epitome of a TSTL heroine. She goes undercover without telling anyone and without any escape plan. She doesn’t even have money to get back to Goshen. She has no skill as an investigator but still creeps out on a dangerous planet to follow Blakely and Holt. She constantly says she “isn’t that type of girl” but paragraphs later is telling the boys to clean her off with their tongues.
As for Blakely and Holt. Gah. These two talk, think and act like gay men. They actually refer to each other as “babe”.
“You joining the party, babe?” he asked his partner, his voice low and sensual.
They sleep together in a king sized bed. Straight men do not sit next to each other in the movie theater. They don’t like restaurant booths. A straight man is not to look at another man peeing in the urinal next to him. Given the choice of sleeping together on a bed and sleeping on the floor, the straight man is sleeping on the floor no matter the discomfort. Sadie, of the no last name, is nothing more than a prostie-borg regardless of the attempts to make me believe that they are all falling in love together. D.