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RITA Trash Talkers: The Contemporary Novelists

This is hilarious. These women are in it to win it. Oh and if anyone has the story about the Nora Roberts/Susan Elizabeth Phillips smackdown, I want to hear about it in the comments. Even if you have to make it up, I want to hear about it.

Link here if the embedded video doesn’t work.

There’s something wonderful about these homegrown videos. My vote for the Contemporary Rita would be Holmquist Holquist but I admit to actually not having read any of the other finalists so my vote is pretty invalid but, hey, we should have a poll for the RITAs. Will start that tomorrow.

Jane Litte is the founder of Dear Author, a lawyer, and a lover of pencil skirts. She spends her downtime reading romances and writing about them. Her TBR pile is much larger than the one shown in the picture and not as pretty. You can reach Jane by email at jane @ dearauthor dot com

47 Comments

  1. Diana Holquist
    Jun 17, 2008 @ 22:50:27

    Holmquist sucks. She’s so bad, she can’t even use a semicolon. She is going down like Cassie Edwards in a ferret-chewed canoe.

    Now Holquist (without the ‘m’) she’s not half bad.

    : – )

    –Diana

    ReplyReply

  2. Kristen
    Jun 17, 2008 @ 23:18:53

    I know Leslie and if I were the other finalists, I’d be verra verra afraid. LOL

    ReplyReply

  3. Jane
    Jun 17, 2008 @ 23:27:32

    You say tomato. I say tohmahto. And this is why I would be a terrible street team member-I can’t get authors’ names right.

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  4. SonomaLass
    Jun 17, 2008 @ 23:30:55

    She is going down like Cassie Edwards in a ferret-chewed canoe.

    Hahahaha!! I know better than to eat or drink when reading DA or SBTB, but I choked on that one anyway!!

    ReplyReply

  5. Gennita Low
    Jun 17, 2008 @ 23:40:38

    I can’t wait to see the duel on stage. Heels for weapons, ten spaces. I’ll put my bets on that Kelly woman. She lives close to me, after all…dangerous woman ;-).

    ReplyReply

  6. Natalie
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 06:04:31

    Well I never knew you Yanks were soo fiery over a statue… hang on it’s the RITA, I wonder if we have something similar here in Oz. Would love to see the Nora/Susan smack down.

    ReplyReply

  7. Lara Santiago
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 06:33:44

    LOL Great video!
    And my money’s on Leslie Kelly.
    Don’t mess with “Lone Wolf” Les. :):)
    Lara

    ReplyReply

  8. Leeann Burke
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 07:13:13

    Loved the video. This is going to be a tough category. I’ve read about half the titles in it and enjoyed them all. Who would I pick as winner? My money is on Diana Holquist followed closely by Kristan Higgins.

    ReplyReply

  9. Kat
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 07:28:32

    I wonder if we have something similar here in Oz.

    We have the R*BY awards, but it’s voted on by readers and is restricted to A/NZ authors.

    ReplyReply

  10. Leslie Kelly
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 07:47:54

    All I can say is that Gibson chick better watch her back. I’ve hired a lip-reader and she’s got a world of hurt coming her way once I find out what she really said. :snort:

    ReplyReply

  11. Leslie Kelly
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 08:04:53

    The Roberts vs. Phillips showdown?

    Yow. I remember.

    It all started on Rita night when they wore the same dress, didn't it? Phillips said something about Roberts not having the “back” to fill it out, and Roberts told Phillips she didn't have the face to. Phillips threw back the old “my butt and your face” thing, then the shoes came off and started flying. Somebody got impaled by the heel of a Blahnik (I think Roberts suffered 10% loss of hearing in her right ear from that?)

    Then their editors jumped in and started throwing around “Your author wouldn't know a point of view if she fell over one” and “Well yours is never gonna hit a bestseller list putting out only one book a year” stuff.

    It was the year Morgan Fairchild guest hosted because someone shoved her and she fell backward and tipped over a mannequin holding one of Princess Di's gowns that was on display. There was an Enquirer headline about her having tried to steal the dress and she threatened to sue everyone.

    Anyway, in the end, Debbie Macomber had to pull a fire extinguisher off the wall and hose Roberts & Phillips off to break it up. I think the picture of the two of them bloody and bruised, with their dresses torn to rags, covered in fire suppressing foam made the cover of the RWR, didn't it? Anybody still have it?

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  12. Darlene Marshall
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 08:48:43

    She is going down like Cassie Edwards in a ferret-chewed canoe.

    Somebody owes me a keyboard…

    ReplyReply

  13. Jill Monroe
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 08:52:45

    Too, too funny!

    ReplyReply

  14. MaryKate
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 09:09:56

    That was priceless. I had to close my office door so no one could hear me laughing.

    Thanks, ladies.

    And…best of luck!

    ReplyReply

  15. joanne
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 09:26:53

    Leslie Kelly you are SO FULL OF IT…..

    It was Jayne Ann Krentz who pulled the fire extinguisher off the wall….. but other then that: SO FUNNY, Thank You for that!

    ReplyReply

  16. Gennita Low
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 09:30:35

    Leslie,

    You’re killing me here. And I’m reading this on a roof.

    Pst, you forgot the part where La Nora tripped La SEP at the escalators, which started the whole front-back of gown thing. Ah, YOUTUBE, where were you then? ;-)

    ReplyReply

  17. Marian Griffin
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 09:38:33

    I know Leslie can take ‘em even with a fake sword! Remember the force. . .
    “Your author wouldn't know a point of view if she fell over one” LOVE IT, love it.
    Marian

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  18. diana holquist
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 09:57:21

    Leslie!

    Too funny. Stop! I am getting no work done today from all the laughing.

    BTW, I think I saw that RWR cover going on Ebay for $200…

    –Diana

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  19. Leslie Kelly
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 10:18:42

    Oh, yeah, JAK, I forgot. Debbie was the one going for bandages and the first aid kit. She’s such a loving care-taker. And Gennita–I’m sure somewhere somebody’s got this on some ancient VHS tape or something. You know, pre-technology days.

    Marian–you’ve met my hubby. And my kids. Do you really think they’d give him a fake sword for his birthday? Puh-lease. That sucker’s real.

    Diana…as I recall, you started this. Thanks again, it was loads of fun!

    ReplyReply

  20. Toni Blake
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 10:27:43

    You know, I used to like Leslie Kelly, but all this sword business is making me nervous ; ) Hey Kelly, be careful with that thing around my fancy dress!

    Seriously, though, just chiming in to say how much fun this video was to make! All the ladies involved rock! Fun to see it here!

    ReplyReply

  21. Jaci Burton
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 10:37:02

    Omg. *dying*

    Love all these authors and their books. This was classic.

    And I want to know what dress goes with the sword, Leslie. I’m so sorry I won’t be in San Francisco this year. I really hate that I’m going to miss this.

    ReplyReply

  22. terrio
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 10:50:09

    I was pretty excited about going to San Fran, but now I’m so glad I get to see this smackfest in person. LOL! You ladies are a hoot. BTW – love the dress, Toni!

    Thanks for the 411 on the LaNora/SEP encounter. I had no idea there was bad ink there. LOL!

    ReplyReply

  23. Jessica Barksdale Inclan
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 11:07:48

    This was fun! I am looking forward to the award roller derby smackdown in SF!

    ReplyReply

  24. BethanyA
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 12:14:02

    Leslie!

    Too funny. Stop! I am getting no work done today from all the laughing.

    BTW, I think I saw that RWR cover going on Ebay for $200…

    -Diana

    I think it went for even more than that at Brenda Novak’s auction!

    ReplyReply

  25. Rachel Gibson
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 12:46:21

    RWA conferences are not for sissies. The SEP vs Nora cat fight wasn't the first in RWA history. Some of you might be too young to remember the whole Virginia Henley Beatrice Small smack down. I believe it was in 93-94 and started over who was the biggest queen of steam. Press On Nails and dirty martinis flew that night. It got really ugly when VH put BS in a sleep hold. Truly frightening.

    rachelg

    ReplyReply

  26. Leeann Burke
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 13:12:57

    Who needs TV when you read entertaining blogs like this one. I’d love to see the cover picture of that fight.

    Thanks for the laughs ladies.

    ReplyReply

  27. Julie Leto
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 13:34:02

    Rachel, I was there. VH is not someone I’d want to mess with, that I can tell you. That woman can scrap.

    My money of course is on Leslie Kelly. But then she’s my RWA roomie and could kill me in my sleep. Trust me, the sword is real. Toni’s dress is also quite lovely.

    Diana…awesome idea!

    ReplyReply

  28. Leslie Kelly
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 13:40:47

    But then she's my RWA roomie and could kill me in my sleep.

    Only if I smother you with a pillow because you’re snoring.

    Now get back to bed, missy, no blog hopping for you. Or else I’m going to have to send down some of those big, strong male nurses to hold you down.

    Hmm…

    ReplyReply

  29. Susan Andersen
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 14:06:02

    Forget the heels. This babe is going for roller skates. Better for those hit and run body slams. Hey, I’m not from Seattle, home of the Rat City Rollergirls for nuthin.

    I’m dying them to match my RITA dress, natch.

    ReplyReply

  30. Barb Ferrer
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 14:09:56

    Good heavens, ladies– am I going to have to pull out the riot gear in order to present the award? *g*

    ReplyReply

  31. Keri M
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 14:12:53

    That was hilarious!! :-) I hope Susan wins!

    ReplyReply

  32. Gennita Low
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 14:49:07

    Ladies, as usual I’ll be in the corner, chomping on my cigar while calling the bookie, so bring your cash. You know the secret number to get the Vegas odds for each fight nominee. I’ve a feeling it’s going to be close between the sword and the roller skates. OTOH, I know Gibson keeps secret weapons.

    ;-)

    ReplyReply

  33. Rachel Gibson
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 16:10:38

    That’s right Gennita. Gibson is from Idaho. Land of pyros potatoes and gun nuts.

    ReplyReply

  34. Amie Stuart
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 16:34:47

    I'm dying them to match my RITA dress

    *Howling*

    Someone should send this to MSNBC… but they don’t deserve to see it.

    ReplyReply

  35. cindy gerard
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 16:50:43

    Holy canole. I have to sit beside Gibson at the Literacy signing each year and now it looks like I’m going to be smack in the middle of a knock down drag out. Did someone say they’re bringing the popcorn? I also get to present a RITA. THANK GOD it’s not this category. I don’t think I have the stamina. Jennita – save a cigar for me, would ya?

    ReplyReply

  36. Julie Leto
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 18:54:27

    Huh…like a little major surgery is going to keep me away from DA and SB.

    However, feel free to send the male nurses.

    ReplyReply

  37. Natalie
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 05:26:11

    I had to look up what Cassie Edwards and Ferret chewed canoe meant (I thought it was some sort of Americanism). Funny though. I hope you all have fun at your conference, it sounds like a blast, I wonder if the RWA Australia will have a few smackdowns in Melbourne in August… that would be interesting Anna Campbell throwing books at Christine Wells or Maybe Anna Jacobs… I think I’ll suggest it to them.

    ReplyReply

  38. Nora Roberts
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 05:35:51

    Please. Like I couldn’t take that skinny-assed Phillips without breaking a sweat.

    ReplyReply

  39. terrio
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 07:24:07

    OMG. I just snorted coffee out my nose…

    ReplyReply

  40. Caren Crane
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 10:13:36

    No way would Anna Campbell heave tomes at Christine Wells. They’re both far too nice! *ZAP* Sorry, that was lightning striking very close by. Regular visitors at Romance Bandits know how badly behaved those two are. The R*BYs should be quite exciting this year!

    Meanwhile, Anna, Christine and the rest of the Romance Bandits will be watching the throwdown in San Francisco. I’m bringing a video camera!

    ReplyReply

  41. Jo Robertson
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 12:05:01

    OMG, that You-Tube video is homegrown hilarious!

    I shudder to think what would happen if Banditas Christine Wells and Anna Campbell got in a dust-up over the historical category. Those are two fiery, no-holds-barred Banditas. As Mama of the group, I should know. They’re forever being sent to their corners, uh, time-out corners, that is.

    OTOH, the Rita is some big booty. Come on, girls, bring it on!

    ReplyReply

  42. Joanie T
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 12:40:18

    I don’t know. “The Kid” seems a bit intimidating and you always have to watch out for the sweet ones aka T. Blake in her pretty RITA dress.

    As to Anna Campbell and Christine Wells smacking it down in Oz I’m thinking not. Because they keep giving each other kidneys. I think the running total is Christine owes Anna about four….

    LOL, Caren…how valuable will THAT video be?

    PS I think ya’ll ALL should win on sheer inventiveness alone!

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  43. Joanie T
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 12:42:16

    I don’t know. “The Kid” seems a bit intimidating and you always have to watch out for the sweet ones aka T. Blake in her pretty RITA dress.

    As to Anna Campbell and Christine Wells smacking it down in Oz I’m thinking not. Because they keep giving each other kidneys. I think the running total is Christine owes Anna about four….

    LOL, Caren…how valuable will THAT video be? The contemporary finalists in compromising situations with our RB cabana boys?? Hmmmm….

    I think ya’ll ALL should win on sheer inventiveness alone!

    ReplyReply

  44. Susan Andersen
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 13:38:48

    Please. Like I couldn't take that skinny-assed Phillips without breaking a sweat.

    Girl’s got a point. Always back the chick who was raised with brothers. That’s my motto.

    ~Susan

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  45. Leslie Kelly
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 15:17:32

    Always back the chick who was raised with brothers. That's my motto.

    Or the ones with swords.

    ReplyReply

  46. Toni Blake
    Jun 20, 2008 @ 07:57:38

    I don’t know – maybe you guys should pay attention to what that very intelligent Joanie T. said. That’s all I’m sayin’ …

    ReplyReply

  47. Zoey Diaz
    Oct 05, 2010 @ 14:05:57

    once a week i use a roller skate as my exercise ‘”,

    ReplyReply

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