REVIEW: Mauvelous by Jerri Drennen
Dear Ms. Drennen,
There’s no way to sugarcoat this review. I found “Mauvelous” to be just ghastly. Sorry but that’s the word that comes to mind. This book is bad. It’s supposed to be about some agents from a security firm called Aztec. I have no idea what they do but mention was made of villains being traitors so I guess there’s some tie in with the government. If they’re what’s standing between civilization and anarchy then God help us all.
The hero comes across as a smarmy used car salesman with a bad toupee who still thinks he’s the hottest thing on two legs where women are concerned. He smirks when women check out his “package,” drives a muscle car because it seems to be a projection of his manhood, and flubs up almost everything he tries to do.
Mauve, the heroine can’t get her mind off the one night of hot luvin’ they shared and the multiple orgasms he gave her. Never mind he was blowing off enough booze fumes to fell an ox, damn he gave her some fine sex. Oh, what…watch for the villain. Yeah, but she’d rather think of the sex.
The plot? These idiots are going to try and find out if the supposed villain is up to no good not by tailing him, or wiretapping him, or breaking into his home. No, they’re going to (ineptly) try and get into the pants of the girl they think he’s seeing. The hero is going to try, that is, though he bombs out more than once while trying despite being Mr. Smooth Operator. And this will do what? Honestly I never got that far. Well, when hero runs out of ideas and his efforts to get Cadence to fall for him by exploring Mauve’s tonsils in front of her don’t work (wonder why!?!), he just asks her. Real secret that. Major undercover work.
Do these agents bother to warn all the other Aztec agents that the head Aztec guy is worried might be in danger? Not that I could see. Do they keep tabs on the man known to be a killer and suspected terrorist? Nope. They just blunder around thinking of sex all the time.
The witty banter the book description promised me is mainly the hero calling heroine a bitch when he isn’t watching, groping or thinking about her tight ass and wondering how great the night of sex was with her because, oh right, he was too drunk to remember. Her response is to call him a bastard when she’s not remembering those multiple orgasms. Gosh, he’s the only man who’s ever given her multiple orgasms like that.
I kept stopping and debating whether this book was supposed to be serious or if it was a satire. I’d waver back and forth. Surely, you couldn’t be serious about agents this idiotic but then there wasn’t enough intentional humor for it to be a comedy. It’s book two in the series and I’m glad I missed book one and will not look for any further stories. And what’s with the womens’ names? Mauve and Cadence? DNF
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