Dec 12 2007
Dear Ms. Black:
I have to say that the cover of this book was hot. It looked Decadent, just like its title. Unfortunately what was inside the covers was more of a hot mess. I’ll admit that the sex scenes were all that was advertised, but everything around the sex scenes was incomprehensible, and not in a good way, if being incomprehensible can ever be denoted positively.
The heroine, Kimber, drives 100 miles to ask a favor of a guy she hasn’t seen since she was 17. The favor isn’t, “I’m new to town, introduce me around”. Instead its “I’m in love with a guy who lives the menage lifestyle and so I need some training in the menage lifestyle so I can show the guy I am in love with that we are meant to be together.” I know that authors want readers to just go with the setup, to have an open mind, but already I am thinking that Kimber is not the brightest lightbulb in the Costco 12 pack. The man she is supposedly in love with is Jesse, a rock star, and her relationship with Jesse is best characterized as pen pals.
To make matters even less understandable, Kimber’s backstory with Deke includes having a crush on him, making advances, and then being rebuffed. Kimber was extremely hurt by this but despite her hurt feelings, goes to ask him to introduce her into the “depraved” lifestyle (her connotation) so that she can be the appropriate spouse for her rocker boyfriend/pen pal. I’m thinking to myself (amongst other things) why she just doesn’t go to the man/pen pal she loves and tell him that she wants to see if she is ready to fit into his lifestyle? Why track down someone who has rejected you years ago and ask for training to see if you would fit with the man/pen pal you love?????? (I could not put enough question marks here to appropriately express my total confusion and WTF-itude).
If this setup isn’t bad enough, Kimber is a VIRGIN and she wants to maintain her virginity for her rocker boyfriend who is into menages. So if Deke chooses to fulfill her favor of being introduced to the menage lifestyle, he must do it without breaking the hymenal barrier. Everything else is okay though, but the pussy canal is sacred and not to be exposed to penile flesh that does not belong to the rocker boyfriend/pen pal. Other flesh is okay though. This is proof of Kimber’s love for her boyfriend/pen pal. I know, it is time for the insertion (no pun intended) of more ??????????????. As a friend of mine said “If vaginal intercourse were a requirement to losing one’s virginity, then there must be thousands of virgin gay men in the world.”
Deke isn’t up for it. I mean, of course he is “up” for it, but he’s had a thing for young Kimber for a long time and isn’t really thrilled with the idea of grooming her to go off with some other guy even though Deke’s cousin, Luc, is all for it. But Deke is really perfect for Kimber because of his past sexual hangups, Deke cannot penetrate the pussy of a woman for fear that his super sperm may impregnate her and then lead her to her death. For years, he’s had sex with a woman only with Luc. That’s some fierce sperm there. Despite being fearful of the negative consequences of his men getting free, Deke does not cut off the source. “He’d considered a vasectomy. He’d even had an appointment once. Then… something had stopped him. He’d never known what. Never looked at it too hard, figuring condoms and menages would cover his bases.”
Deke and Luc, of course, cave to her demands and Kimber, after being scared off a bit, comes back to the house for her training. The way in which Kimber is described, though, is quite childlike. Maybe that explains the total lack of reasoning that Kimber displays. She was all “promise of sweetness, white lace and innocent sighs.” She even has a “sweet, litle girl voice”. Err. But then Deke says three paragraphs later that her voice had a “husky sound.” I’m not sure how I reconcile the “sweet, little girl voice” with “husky”. I guess if the little girl smoked three packs a day for a few years, she could have a sweet, little girl voice with a husky sound.
One thing about Kimber, though, is she is consistently and relentlessly lacking in good sense. Deke treats her like she’s lower than dog poop on his shoe and Luc treats her like she’s a goddess. He cooks for her, is totally inexhaustible in bed, and holds her when she needs to be held. Kimber, of course, likes being treated lower than dog poop and prefers Deke.
As an aside, it’s really special that in this threesome, one of the guys is dark and one is tawny haired. I think that there must be some rule that threesomes involve two different looking guys – one light and one dark. Maybe a guy’s fantasy is that the two women look the same – you know, like twins – but women’s fantasies are way evolved and include two DIFFERENT looking guys. Just another way women are totally superior.
What capped off my complete confusion was that at the end of the book and pages and pages of threesome activity, Kimber and Deke go it alone, as if having a happy ever after with three people is too depraved for even the menage lifestyle. It’s a conundrum, like most of the rest of the book. D.
This book can be purchased in trade paperback. No ebook format that I could find.