Apr 22 2006
REVIEW: Chunkybuttfunky by Dakota Cassidy
Dear Ms. Cassidy:
When I came across your book the other night I was dumbfounded and then, strangely enough, curious. What could this book, with its shockingly funny title, possibly be about? I want to harangue you about your title choice but ultimately, the shock tactic worked on me so would I be pot or black in this instance? But in all seriousness, this is why it is hard for readers to handsell ebooks. Even if this were the best book evuh, I would have a hard time telling all my friends to go and buy it.
I am guessing that you were offered an opportunity to be part of a series. Harlequin does lost prince and princess series and Changeling Press does the Paranormal Mates Society series. Your cover is the class of the bunch, if that is saying anything. But what is with the strange nordic couple posing for the PMS ad? Sorry, was completely distracted there. Your story is about a vampire who falls in lust with a werewolf who wants to be with only werewolves. Candace poses as a werewolf. They meet and 3 minutes later (or was it 5?), they are groping each other and hitting the sheets. Of course, Candace fears coming clean but Collin, the werewolf, has a secret of his own.
I figured by the name of the book that this was a story not to be taken seriously and I tried hard to read it in that vein but certain things bothered me. For example, about 3 pages in, there is a three paragraph promo explaining the pricing structure of Paranormal Mates. Who cares? It was like reading spam in the middle of a book. I glossed over it, needless to say (see RBOR #2).
On page one, there is the note that says “the dating thing was becoming her favorite pasttime. The emails were enough to keep her amused for centuries on end.” A page later you have her saying “She’d rather be dead than read one more flippin loser’s email.” So which is it? Are the emails entertaining or bothersome to the degree that you have the character flipping the bird to the computer? And all the names start with C. Candace Cranston, Carter from England, Collin Grayson. I have a little brain. I need my names to start with different letters else I get very confused.
So why did I keep reading? Because parts of it were funny. I liked your voice. The plot twist was a surprise to me (but possibly not to others – see above reference to smallness of brain). Your characters talked like real people. I think that I could like some of your books but this isn’t one of them. Probably not the kind of online buzz that ebook writers want but I guess I can promise to try another one. C- for you.
Best regards,
Jane
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Apr 22, 2006 @ 21:47:13
What’s funny is I just bought a DC Changeling Press book too (I had credit left over from ages ago in my account). I picked Confessions of a Wannabe Witch. I started it, but haven’t finished it.
But oh…the covers are just awful.
Apr 22, 2006 @ 23:24:12
I started, but never finished Confessions of a Wannabe Witch. It was funny enough, so I’m not sure why I stopped reading. Probably because I never transferred it to my palm and my home comp doesnt get a lot of ebook reading use. I should pick it back up.
Apr 23, 2006 @ 20:47:54
Hmm. I think Cassidy is worth at least one more shot.
Apr 28, 2006 @ 18:17:44
Dear Jane,
LOLLOL–well, thanks, I think. I’ll take my C and smile while I do. You know what’s funny? The moment Angie told me I had a review–I immediately clicked on your C reviews for mine. I kinda figured after you said mean stuff about my title it would be listed here :)
Yeah, my characters talk like real people. That is a HUGE compliment. Also something I can’t seem to help. That’s probably just what I’d say if I were in the same situation. Yes, there was an ad for the dating site in the book because all of the books were part of an intertwining series. Each book released at a particular time (3 a week) because the e-mails the characters received were part of the next book in the series. This also established the online date site, so if someone bought only book 6–they weren’t confused.
And yes, I was offered a part in the series because I thought it up after my RL online dating stint :)
And they fell into bed at least ten minutes later. How could you not have timed that? As a reviewer, I’d say that was a slip. LOLLOL. Loads of people fall into bed when they meet at an online date site. So, in my research and what I discovered when I talked to some of these guys I met (at Starbucks–mind yourselves LOL), I figured it wasn’t too much of a stretch.
Sorry about the alliteration, Jane–it happens to the best of us and Carter came and went. He went onto Isabella Jordon’s book Werewolves of London. However, all in all, I’m glad to hear you laughed. That makes me happier than anything else.
Nicole–sorry to hear you don’t like the covers. But really, I don’t think I’ve heard of anyone saying they liked any e-book covers. So I kinda give up. They are what they are.
Thanks for the input! I’ll take any buzz, good or bad.
Dakota Cassidy :)