REVIEW: Chunkybuttfunky by Dakota Cassidy
Dear Ms. Cassidy:
When I came across your book the other night I was dumbfounded and then, strangely enough, curious. What could this book, with its shockingly funny title, possibly be about? I want to harangue you about your title choice but ultimately, the shock tactic worked on me so would I be pot or black in this instance? But in all seriousness, this is why it is hard for readers to handsell ebooks. Even if this were the best book evuh, I would have a hard time telling all my friends to go and buy it.
I am guessing that you were offered an opportunity to be part of a series. Harlequin does lost prince and princess series and Changeling Press does the Paranormal Mates Society series. Your cover is the class of the bunch, if that is saying anything. But what is with the strange nordic couple posing for the PMS ad? Sorry, was completely distracted there. Your story is about a vampire who falls in lust with a werewolf who wants to be with only werewolves. Candace poses as a werewolf. They meet and 3 minutes later (or was it 5?), they are groping each other and hitting the sheets. Of course, Candace fears coming clean but Collin, the werewolf, has a secret of his own.
I figured by the name of the book that this was a story not to be taken seriously and I tried hard to read it in that vein but certain things bothered me. For example, about 3 pages in, there is a three paragraph promo explaining the pricing structure of Paranormal Mates. Who cares? It was like reading spam in the middle of a book. I glossed over it, needless to say (see RBOR #2).
On page one, there is the note that says “the dating thing was becoming her favorite pasttime. The emails were enough to keep her amused for centuries on end.” A page later you have her saying “She’d rather be dead than read one more flippin loser’s email.” So which is it? Are the emails entertaining or bothersome to the degree that you have the character flipping the bird to the computer? And all the names start with C. Candace Cranston, Carter from England, Collin Grayson. I have a little brain. I need my names to start with different letters else I get very confused.
So why did I keep reading? Because parts of it were funny. I liked your voice. The plot twist was a surprise to me (but possibly not to others – see above reference to smallness of brain). Your characters talked like real people. I think that I could like some of your books but this isn’t one of them. Probably not the kind of online buzz that ebook writers want but I guess I can promise to try another one. C- for you.