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REVIEW: You Suck by Christopher Moore

Being undead sucks. Literally.

Just ask C. Thomas Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he’s ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody, is a vampire. And surprise! Now he’s one, too. For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues.

But word has it that the vampire who initially nibbled on Jody wasn’t supposed to be recruiting. Even worse, Tommy’s erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call girl named (duh) Blue.

And that really sucks.

You Suck by Christopher MooreDear Mr. Moore,

I’m really glad I remembered so much about “Bloodsucking Fiends” because you just jump right into this story and woe to anyone who can’t keep up. The few hints and regroups and reminders scattered throughout the story do help but I doubt that anyone who hasn’t read book one in this series would be able to keep up with the pace.

It’s good to see Jody and C. Thomas “Tommy” Flood plus all the Animals, Cavuto and Rivera and, occasionally, Elijah again. Then there’s the all new Blue – the smurf hooker. My new favorites are Abby/Allison, who takes over as chief minion now that Tommy’s been turned, and her got-to-wait-til-almost-the-end-to-see-him-again sweet love-ninja boyfriend “Foo Dog” Steve. Steve and his awesomely cool UV light fighting gear are boss.

The action is fast and furious from the get-go and yet, to some extent, much of it seems like the same from BF. Jody is delighted with her powers, Tommy still wants to know all there is to know about vampires (or vampyres as goth-ishy Abby and her gay pal Jared spell it) only this time since he is one, he really wants to know WTF. Too bad Jody didn’t learn from Elijah all there is to being a foul undead while she could. The Animals are still stoners, playing skid the buzzard and basically useless slaves to the power of Blue’s HIV+ hoo-hah – bet they’ll be glad they were, even if so briefly, changed as well in order to kill that pesky virus. And maybe Drew’s knee is fixed too. Cavuto and Rivera still are behind the times about what’s going on but at least this go round they catch on more quickly that San Francisco is becoming vampire central. Though it looks like they’ll be stuck as coPs (as Abby says it) for a while instead of retired and playing golf.

As to the number of vampires we’re dealing with, Mah God, doesn’t that almost get out of control. And speaking of OoC, I briefly worried that this book would end somewhat as does “Dirty Job” and “BFs” in that category. Everyone’s getting changed, people are racing around trying to catch each other, kill each other and stay out of the sun before the mysterious 3 show up – those who seem to have the Ultimate Vampire power and last word. Now that I know there’s a book three to check out, I wonder if more will be learned about them and why Elijah slinks off with them when they say “Slink Off, 800 year old Dude” (to paraphrase as Abby does in her “annoying at first but later you get used to it” journal).

Don’t get me wrong, I had fun reading this book, loved to see all the former gang back, and whipped through it in 2 days yet so much of it felt like a reread of BF. Which, if I have to read a reread of a book I’ll gladly read it of this one however… I guess it goes to show how hard it is to write what people loved about the first book but more. “Yeah, I want it exactly like the first book but different.” Ah, well, I’m now looking forward to “Bite Me.”



Another long time reader who read romance novels in her teens, then took a long break before started back again about 15 years ago. She enjoys historical romance/fiction best, likes contemporaries, action- adventure and mysteries, will read suspense if there's no TSTL characters and is currently reading very few paranormals.


  1. MarieC
    Feb 27, 2012 @ 07:32:05

    Hi Jayne. Great review! I loved this book, not as much as “Bloodsucking Fiends”, but it was still really fun. Christopher Moore is one of those authors who kind of sneaks up on you; never really getting what you thought, but liking what you get.

  2. Jayne
    Feb 27, 2012 @ 07:35:11

    @MarieC: Bloodsucking Fiends is hard to top, or even match. Have you read “Bite Me?” Will I get my heart broken when I read it?

  3. Patricia Eimer
    Feb 27, 2012 @ 07:51:44

    I loved all three of these books but I have to agree with you that BF is by far the best of the lot. In the end though, I’d read the phone book if Christopher Moore wrote it so maybe I’m not the best judge.

  4. MichelleR
    Feb 27, 2012 @ 09:23:16

    I love Christopher Moore, and really enjoyed this book. His heroes are all pretty similar, making me think I have a fairly good lock on the author’s personality. Well, okay, Biff in Lamb confuses things. He has a new one, Sacre Bleu: A Comedy d’Art, coming out on April 3rd.

  5. Darlynne
    Feb 27, 2012 @ 11:15:48

    I am such a fangirl of everything Moore has written, will write or ever dreams about writing. His books grace my shelves in multiple formats, as well as my iPod and Nook. The Emperor, his Men, Abby, oh yeah, skid the buzzards? The best treat you can give yourself, however, is to listen to Abby’s narration in the audio books.

    Although I felt YS was the weakest of the trilogy, that didn’t keep me from purchasing Bite Me and the ending was most satisfying.

  6. Dee
    Feb 27, 2012 @ 11:15:55

    I have this one on the pile somewhere, but for me, nothing of his has lived up to Lamb or Fluke…I listened to both of those in audio (as well as Dirty Job and BSF), and I had to actually pull the car over a few times I was laughing so hard…I am looking forward to Sacre Bleu and I have the Lust Lizard of Melancoly cove on request at the library

  7. Darlynne
    Feb 27, 2012 @ 12:43:03

    @Dee: Wasn’t Bill Irwin’s narration of Fluke The Best Ever? I know a lot of listeners prefer Fisher Stevens, and I thought he was perfect for A Dirty Job, but Irwin’s laid-back whale watchers and sky-high Kona were wonderful.

  8. Dee
    Feb 27, 2012 @ 13:07:55


    it was really good, especially part about the Whale Penii…that is the part that made me pull over I was laughing so hard

  9. MarieC
    Feb 27, 2012 @ 14:22:56

    Hi Jayne, I haven’t read ‘Bite Me’ yet; still in my ‘teetering’ TBR stack! :(

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