Nov 3 2006
Dear Ms. Lyons:
The girls at Sanctuary’s Finest loved your book. My suggestion is to click on that link and don’t come back because the following isn’t pretty.
Allie Parker is a ghost hunter and contributor to paranormal newspaper, The Specter. During an attack by some rogue vampires, she is saved by a group of Templars. These Templars are the good vampires. They like her “brass balls” and adopt her into their vampiric clan which consists of five equally hot but good vampires. Allie immediately falls for Sebastian, The Sage (yes, all of the Templars have cutesy nicknames). For some reason that kept changing, Sebastian resists his reciprocal attraction. The Templars have settled in the small town of Damascus situated in rural Pennsylvania. They are seeking the Daystar, a relic that is supposed to allow vampires to walk in the sun.
The major problem with this book is that there are so many questions that arise that are not answered. My initial question that went unanswered was about the world you created. Allie was supposed to be a ghost hunter but we don’t see her hunt ghosts. We don’t know how it is done. We don’t know whether there are ghosts and what type of ghosts; whether they are good ghosts or bad ghosts. Frankly ghosts have no role in the story other to serve as a placeholder for Allie’s employment.
The story itself took much too long to develop. It was so vague in the beginning that I wondered if this was the second or third book in the series and I had completely missed out on something. You didn’t explain the Knights Templar mythology as it related to vampire myth until the last 50 pages or so. You leaked out hints here and there but did not explain the full rules of the world at any time. In fact, you were still explaining the rules of your world in the freaking EPILOGUE!!!! There has to be some rule against that.
And while you were vague on the important details, you were obvious on ones that really had little to do with the development of the story. Like Allie being cheated on by her boyfriend and the said boyfriend turning to the “town bicycle.” You tell us about 5 times in the first two chapters that Allie has brass balls. I hate that phrase and I hate being told that someone has brass balls. Sometimes when you are mouthing off in reckless disregard for your safety, its called stupidity and not courage.
I never understood why the Templar Knights took Allie into their group. It reads like wish fulfillment. It’s a pretty tiresome theme that is ever present in romances. Here are five of the hottest, strongest, most honorable men in the world and they love Allie. No, they all adore her. Everyone adored everyone else. Even the macho, alpha males used words like adore and cute.
The romance between Seb and Allie was inexplicable. First, Sebastian refused to allow himself to fall for Allie. And Allie refused to allow him to feed from her. Feeding from her would anger the other Templars too, despite them wanting to see Allie and Sebastien together. This was a complete “huh” from me. Why would the other Templars set Seb and Allie up in the first place if they weren’t supposed to fuck and feed. And why did Seb and Allie suddenly fall into bed together? Did I miss the part where they resolve whatever illlusory differences kept them apart?
There is plenty of sequel bait and much attention was to paid to the other Templars and their future stories. I think we spent time in the head of each of the Templar Knights, Allie, Lex (Allie’s sister), two victims, at least two bad guys. That is way too much headhopping.
The ending had some emotional appeal but at that point it was too little, too late. I also found it hard to believe that a character could be made into a vampire and virtually become invincible the next. It’s just not a book I enjoyed reading. Sorry. D.